It was during this time that my relationship with my father started to break down completely, and we were often not on speaking terms. I would spend most of my after school hours at abandoned buildings in the city in which my parents had their business; I would tell my mom I was going for a walk or a bike ride and then disappear for many hours; they really were too busy to notice how weirdly long I'd stay out.

I had a good glow up over the summer of eighth grade into ninth; I had taken up running and gotten taller and my face had lost some of its childish puffiness; I was really quite handsome for a fourteen year old; I think this helped my social development. When I entered high school I had no friends at all. I joined cross country for no real reason other than that I liked running. There I met V. I found V then and find him now to be very handsome; I should probably mention that I am like ninety-five percent gay.

One day, I think it was the third day of high school, I was sitting alone and V came to sit with me. It would be impossible to even summarize how our friendship evolved over the next few years, so I will not summarize it. I will say only that I had never experienced anything like it, and I truly believe that I was in love with V, from what I understand of what it means to be in love.

During my sophomore year, I made another friend, B. Our friendship went very well for about a year.

[part 2]

Toward the end of my junior year, D and I started to drift apart. By the end, we were no longer on speaking terms. I do not know how this happened. It was also about now that the intensity of the friendship between V and I started to diminish. Also, my parents sold their business and started staying at home 24/7; until then, I was home alone all day every day (even weekends) (my parents would leave for work at about 7 AM, and be back at 10--11 PM. If you're wondering how they possibly had the time to do anything with those hours, the answer is very simple; they didn't do anything; groceries would be bought on the way to work by my mom, and house and car maintenance would be put off until the holidays by my dad.

So, going in to my senior year, I had lost a one half of my friends, and the relationship with the other was on the rocks, and my parents were now home all the time, which was bad because I had not been on speaking terms with my father for at least three solid years at that point, more like four I think.

During my senior year, I was approached by a girl about starting a relationship, but I told her I was gay. V and I completely split, and I made a new friend, W. W was (and, I suppose, still is) two years younger than me; he and I became good friends rather quickly. He was by far the most interesting friend I had ever had; he was a zoophile and a radical leftist, if those things can be imagined to exist in the same person. His mom mentioned to me while I was at his house that I was the only friend that W had had in several years.

[part 3]

At the end of senior year my parents moved us out to rural Brazil. I lost contact with W at this time, and have not had the motivation to try to get back in contact with him. They had been talking about it for years but they decided to do it when I finished high school. My relationship with my parents has only gotten worse since then. I am currently a NEET, and see no real reason to even try to be not a NEET. Anons, as someone who lives in one of the wealthier third world countries, let me tell you, no matter how bad you think your part of the U.S. is, it's nothing compared to what I've seen. I stayed in rural (and I do mean rural) PA for a while while in the U.S., and even the most dilapitated white trash shack was more sturdily constructed than most houses here.

I see no reason to become not a NEET because I cannot convince myself to work for the tough equivalent of a dollar an hour building walls and paving streets when I could work at McDonald's for twenty times that and get free food. None of my father's family really likes me, and it's certainly not for lack of trying to be likeable on my part.

My parents refuse to pay for me to go back home, and at least five times a week my mom will lecture me through my door about how I really must get a job. I don't really leave my room because if I do, my dad will either look at me menacingly or start criticizing me in some way (e.g., `when are you gonna cut your hair', `you're looking rough', or `what's going on man' (but like, not in a jovial or friendly tone; he delivers all of his remarks with the tone in which you would deliver `you got a problem man?')).

I only shower when they leave to buy groceries and I wash my clothes in a tote in my room and hang them to dry from the ceiling and blow them with a fan. I come out at night to get food and refill my water bottles etc. I will not comment on the urination situation.

[part 4]

What do anons? I think I'll try and do stuff online to make money, but it's difficult because I have no bank account, no identification, about 80 USD in cash, and the electricity and internet go out frequently, and I have a slow connection because I steal WiFi from a neighbor because my parents never told me the internet password to motivate me to get out of the house.

What do anons? I've tried mending my relationship with my father a few times over the last few years but it doesn't work, I don't think he likes me, and I'm not sure why other than that I'm not interested in motorcycles and I think he knows I'm gay, though I've never told my parents.

I guess I'm just looking for some input. I hope everyone is having a good night.

[part 5, final]

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>>34481242
>>34481255
>>34481260
>>34481262
>>34481266

Tldr get a job ya bum, who's paying for yo dropkick ass

>>34481366
I know what I posted is long and probably pretty boring, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no friends and nobody to talk to. I just wish somebody would care. I don't know how I let everything get so out of hand. I think it's in `The Sun also Rises' by Hemingway that somebody I think the banker says that he became bankrupt at first slowly then suddenly. That's how it feels for me now. I look back and I see it building up slowly and then bam, I'm right here.

I think, however, that my post is at least a little interesting and maybe even somewhat unique; I don't think I'm helpless or even all that pathetic; and, if nothing else, I think my post has merit because it's real, and so maybe it can be considered like a case study. I don't know.

And I do think my post is at least a little interesting, though the prose could use a little reworking and the stories could be a little more well-ly cut.

>>34481394
Well that's the thing, obviously I need a job. But I don't know how to get a job. I don't really speak Portuguese; I can say the basic stuff, but I absolutely cannot be in a customer facing position. I also don't know how to get any identification in Brazil; all of that costs money and I have no Brazilian money. I don't think I can really ask my parents for any money either, and also the nearest office for that kinda stuff is two hours away; I'd either have to take the bus (expensive) or get my parents to drive me (I have ocular albinism and can't drive).

I truly don't know what to do at this junction, and I'm afraid my parents are gonna give me an ultimatum some time soon.

I don't really know what `your dropkick ass' means in this context, so I'll assume it means something like `you deadbeat' or `your loser self'; in that case, I will comment that I don't really see myself as a moral failure. I think that, given the circumstances, I've behaved in a rather reasonable manner. That doesn't mean that I don't regret things, only that I don't see myself as the bad guy in this situation. Although, I do think that as time goes by, I will see myself more and more as the bad guy. I really don't know.

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>>34481242
Not your blog faggot.

>>34481444
I know. But I think maybe some anons might be interested, if not in me personally then in the story itself. I don't really believe in Reddit or any of the other text-based social medias, I think they're very normal, and I don't think my situation is very normal, so I decided to post on 4chan. I think the quality of 4chan has really tanked in recent years; I think the pandemic did it. I remember when threads used to grow to massive size and posts were actually long winded and well thought out. Now everybody's in a rush to post the shortest stuff possible and every other thread is about anime or girl troubles. I remember when lit used to be about books from the true Western world, now it's all contemporary east Asian stuff. A little bit is fine of course but every post every day? My goodness, we need some diversity.

>>34481462
Words, words, words. Nobody cares.

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This seems like the kind of thing you should ask got about man idk you need a job and probably need to move out.

Your backstory doesn't have anything to do with your current situation like what relevance does a childhood friend you lost contact with years ago have Anything to do with where you are now.

Go learn the language you need to learn to get work. You're just gonna rot where you are for the rest of your life otherwise.

>>34481438
Get a job that has preference for English skills if there are any

Move to English-speaking place

Or just learn portch

>>34481366
fpbp

>>34481577
Surely you can't be so hard that you don't find someone else's life story interesting, anon. Perhaps most anons aren't truly interested, as in, `invested', but surely most /adv/ anons stick around because they like reading stories about other people's lives. If this is the case, which I assume it is, then I think maybe some anons might care for my words.

I certainly am verbose by 4chan standards, but I really do think this site could benefit from some longer form content.

I am waiting for the movie to come out.

>>34481598
Anon, I appreciate your /adv/ice, but, respectfully, these are pretty obvious suggestions; I think it's pretty obvious that I should get a job and that I should move out. The problem is that I do not know how to do these things given my current situation.

Take the job for example. How do I get a job? We live in The Middle of Nowhere, Brazil. Within a 20 mile radius of our house, there are about 5,000 people. The great majority that would be even considering hiring are farmers. I simply cannot see myself working on one of these ``farms'' for fifty cents an hour; it's just not right.

And also the Portuguese they speak out here is nothing like the Portuguese you'll find in books or movies; it's so bastardized and corrupted it really is basically a different language from what you might find in Rio or SP.

And on the topic of my backstory, I do think it is important. Recently I have had much time to meditate on how exactly I ended up where I have ended up, and I think it really does start at the very beginning. I just don't know how to put all the pieces together, nor do I know if it even matters to understand completely. I guess it does; if the main factor has come from something I can control, like my personality or attitude, then I should know about it because I can change it.

[part 1]

>>34481598
This is what I mean. 4chan used to be a place for mild intellectuals, if you can believe it. Now if you make a post about your life story and include some of your life story you get dog piled by anons complaining that you're wasting their bandwidth. I think this is a true problem on this site; channers love to see themselves as enlightened or at least superior to other social media users; but I think the quality of this site has seriously tanked and is inviting a dangerous number of normies who don't want to read and do some mental work to understand posts, and just want instant keks or instant feels and to post instant reactions. This is contrary to what I think the spirit of this site used to be like and what I think it should be. The last thing the world needs is another Tumblr, and I think that's what 4chan is coming dangerously close to becoming. I'm doing my part to combat this, what are you doing anon?

[part 2, final]

>>34481608
>>34481608
Anon, I appreciate sincerity in my life (see picrel), so I don't use much sarcasm or saronicism, so I'm gonna respond sincerely to your post in spite of the the fact that I think that you're being at least fifty percent sarcastic.

Anon, if I could find an English-cemteted job, of course I would take it. I live I the middle of nowhere and working remotely is not feasible. My English skills are as useful as my jerking skills in finding a job.

And surely anon, you don't really think that `just move to an English-speaking place' is good /adv/ice; that's on the level of those memes where someone draws a bridge connecting Europe and New England and says `why don't they build this are they dumb?'; if I could move anon. I would move.

As I explained in a reply to another anon, learning the kind of Portuguese you find out here is very different from learning European or even urban Brazilian Portuguese. It's a totally different beast. It's not easy, and I have nobody from whom I can learn.

>>34482074
Oh goodness I meant to change the word `hard' in the first sentence to ``jaded'', but I didn't get around to it. How embarrassing.

>>34482093
I am highly confident that you are being sarcastic, but I think you and many if not most anons underestimate just how interesting the mundade can be. Not everything has to be sensational to be a good story. I remember in the book We Need to Talk About Kevin, Eva mentions that now that she has time to look onward, she realizes that what was once familiar and boring to her (the United States) seems to her now strange and hard to understand and bewildering. I think anons have lost enchantment with the basics of life; anons need to look onward and look at what's close around them and really think about that stuff, it seems to me. Take for example /vt/; they're an example of a group of people who just don't have an enchantment with the mundane; it's a cesspool over there. That's what I want to avoid ITT.

Also, I think my life has had many interesting and entertainingepisodes even in the conventional sense of interesting and entertaining; I basically raised myself from ~9 to ~16, I've been in friendships with truly bizarre people, I've hiked thirty miles in one day, I've repaired a beached canoe and sailed down a large New England river, I've been friends with two diagnosed schizophrenics, I've been in a platonic relationship with a non binary tranny (I didn't even know that was a thing), I've gotten a few minor records in cross country running, I've been a social pariah for at least 6 years in the public school system, and I've become an extremely well read, well listened (music) and well watched (film) person. If you tell me none of that is interesting I won't believe you, or maybe I will because 4chan is filled with a bunch of people who have lost the magic of life.

>>34481626
And this is a good example of what I mean when I say 4chan has lost the mandate of heaven. Anons who post ``fpbp'' in a thread are no different from redditfags that reply ``this'' under a comment they agree with. This is lazy posting. I think what you should have posted is something more like ``anon, this is the best reply that someone can give you; you need to stop moping about your life and take some personal accountability'' or something like that.

>>34482112
Fiquei curioso, qual região? Quero ver se eu consigo entender esse dialeto.

>>34482149
No centro-ouste; bem rural. Perto de Mato Grosso.

>>34482147
>word salad = effort
pseudo intellectual take
accept that sometimes, you just dont have anything of value to add other than "i agree"

>>34482149
Realmente, não é um dialeto direitamente; é mais um sotaque com cumum vocabulário um pouco especializado.

És tu Brasileiro?

>>34482159
But that's exactly what I'm saying! Explain why you agree! That's what this site is so perfect for; there's no expectation to engage. Compare Reddit where people pile up on posts to be the first to make a certain joke or criticize a certain group; there's an expectation to interact, but not here on 4chan. Here, you can post anything and nobody will ever know who posted what. That's the point, it liberated you to be yourself unmoderated. Why would you post ``fpbp'' when you could explain yourself? You can be anything here. I don't understand anons like you; why not take the opportunity to really explain what it is you agree with? If you're afraid you'll waste your time vexause nobody will read it, fear not; I read all replies.

>>34482168
i dont have to answer to you retard

>>34482169
Possivelmente o problema maior é que eles não entendem Portuguese-padrão; nem só preciso aprender entender o Portuguese deles, preciso conseguir falar também. É muito difícil.

>>34482172
Of course not, anon; what I'm saying is that you should do it for yourself. You can be totally yourself on this site, why refuse yourself to silly abbreviations, acronyms and initialisms? Like, why would you post `I don't have to answer to you, retard' when you could just not reply? It comes off as angry. Back in my day, anons had the self-consciousness to post a thread asking why they always felt angry; now everybody goes around being acidic looking for validation from more acidic people. I don't get it.

>>34482183
you retard a backtick or apostrophe isnt a fucking quotation mark
stop trying so hard to be a pseudo intellectual and just accept that youre a small brained idiot

>>34482175
Nesse caso acho que a melhor forma para aprender seria por exposição mesmo, aprender a gramática e essas regras é muito complicado e nem eu sei elas todas.
Agora, não sei qual tipo de exposição você poderia fazer, alguma rádio local, canal de tv local, ou conversar com o povo local.

>>34482195
I use backticks and single quotes because that's what TeX by Donald Knuth uses and I'm a big TeX fan. Also helps distinguish between opening and closing quotes in sans-serif fonts.

>>34482198
Eu concordo. Eu atualmente já tava escutando a umas estações de rádio. Obrigado pelo seus conselhos, mano. Aprecio.

>>34482227
Ótimo, eu aprendi inglês assim, pura exposição.
Boa sorte, espero que você consiga o que você deseja.

>>34482248
Obrigado.

>>34482112
If you live in some barren place with nothing to sustain your biological existence then move, fuckwit

>>34483167
And no-one cares about your picrel dude who offed himself because he couldn't handle modernity. Ted K is the more based way to handle it - bomb pretentious cunts

>>34482135
>raised myself from ~9 to ~16, I've been in friendships with truly bizarre people, I've hiked thirty miles in one day, I've repaired a beached canoe and sailed down a large New England river, I've been friends with two diagnosed schizophrenics, I've been in a platonic relationship with a non binary tranny (I didn't even know that was a thing), I've gotten a few minor records in cross country running, I've been a social pariah for at least 6 years in the public school system, and I've become an extremely well read, well listened (music) and well watched (film) person.
Basically everyone this generation has raised themselves with the internet (and consoom your le book le movie le music slop and pretend it's an identity). You're a special snowflake. Noone cares about your experience with mentally fried people and lgbbq since they're basically the norm now.

Look at you. You're bloody helpless. Muh I'm stuck here can't do anything. Move, bitch, get out the way.

If your life is so entertaining and profound go write a book about it. And have anons here actually care to read instead of mock how boringly self important it goes on and on it goes.

>non binary tranny (I didn't even know that was a thing),
This shit has been a staple for the past decade. Get with the times

>>34482168
There's no need to explain if you agree. Only if you disagree. That's why most systems only display thumbs up (YouTube comments for instance). If you disagree then you actually have to reply to explain yourself. If you agree, it's self explanatory, hence a thumbs up suffices. It's less redundant that way.

Best comments system would be one with 4chan trip ID (like whatever /int/ or /pol/ has) so it's still fairly anonymous (no profile bullshit) and anyone can comment (no login bullshit), but still trackable (who's who, samefag bullshit) + Reddit nesting expandable collapsible replies + YouTube thumbs up or comment system. Then you can sort by thumbs up (helps filter the shit/spam comments), or newest. Plus ability to add multiple images, maybe just the header image like 4chan then add extra images as smaller thumbnails

Apparently there's already a chan thing with nested replies and upboat system but I haven't bothered to make it yet