My girlfriend just started ranting and raving and calling me an ignorant fuck and all this other shit just for leaving the fridge door open for like 10-15 seconds while getting spinach. She didnt used to be like this before we lived together. Now EVERYTHING is a fucking fight, 24/7. I am tired of this shit. I am tired enough from work. I dont want to keep fighting. We have been together 4 years, she was never like this when it was mostly weekend dates instead of living together. Why are modern women so gay? I fucking hate living with this person. Only times I've been happy here were when either she's asleep or at work/our.
>>34481899Because women do this thing where they insist on moving in with the guy. They tell themselves it's to see if the man & her are compatible in a shared living space. A shit test so to speak, just a shit test that's got a longer duration. People call it "nesting mode", where the woman wants to see if the man can fit into her "nest" aka your shared home/apartment. Women do this to see if the man has any flaws or faults that could be incompatible with family building. But the shit test backfires on them because they don't stop to consider the man is watching her every step too, watching how she reacts and how she behaves. And the irony is the woman is waiting for the man's mask to slip, but she forgets her own mask falls off as well. If this is what you're seeing from her after 4 years & living together, that's what you can expect if you marry her bro. There is a way to fix shit but it will require eliminating your own faults or flaws if there are any, or at the least managing them. For yourself by the way, not because she nagged you into it. When you do that, what eventually happens is the woman eventually starts crying her eyes out because she feels left behind, that you went and corrected your faults while she is still lagging behind and she starts feeling bad for any shit she put you through. As a man you got two options at this point: Break up with her having understood you aren't compatible or Stay and work together as a team to bring out the best in each other. The choice rests with you as a man because men are the gatekeepers of relationships. At the end of the day it's (you) who chooses whether or not to put a diamond on her. Try talking with her about what's driving her temper. Because I can promise you, it's not about the fridge door being open. That shit is just an outlet for whatever is really eating at her.
>>34481899>didnt used toSaaaaarrrrDO NOT REDEEE**EEE**EEEEMM!!!! DO NOOOOT REDEEM THE CAAAARD!!!Real answer benchod:Install dating apps, lose weight, wear good clothes, groom hairs, look happy in your photos, wear something nice and look interesting in them. Upload to apps, get matches, ask for meeting on either the first, second, or third batch of messages. And finally, redeem the card.You can do it benchod, teriyaki chode
>>34481936>the irony is the woman is waiting for the man's mask to slip, but she forgets her own mask falls off as well.You just described a narcissistic person. This has nothing to do with specifically women. Guys can do this too. It's a human thing. If you're constantly looking at the others behaviors and not at your own - you're a shitty person who lacks empathy and is selfish. Plenty of these organisms exist, and you better make sure you don't let them into your life.
>>34481954>You just described a narcissistic person. This has nothing to do with specifically women. Guys can do this too. It's a human thing.No, I described an immature person. What immature people do is when they date, they are on their 'best behaviour', they mask. Masking is a word that's misused today, people think it's about camoflage or deceit. It's about insecurity, because masking is when someone sleeps their faults and negative feelings under the mental carpet to appear emotionally 'tidy'. And they do this because they think that if others saw their faults, no one would want them romantically. This phenomena happens for most young people trying to learn how to love. Typically people aged 18 - 25. >This has nothing to do with specifically women. Guys can do this too. It's a human thing.Both do it. That's why I told OP to check himself for any shortcomings and to work on them. >If you're constantly looking at the others behaviors and not at your own - you're a shitty person who lacks empathy and is selfish.People who do this typically aren't lacking in empathy. People who do this are those who have a bit of a pride problem, they feel their empathy is being wasted on someone who they feel is 'narcissistic'.That's why the modern boogeyman of narcissism is such a volatile topic. OP could just call his GF a narcissist and she could easily do the same. It's not helpful for either person. What is helpful is just admitting there's a mutual communication breakdown and going from there
>>34481963I think there's no mutual exclusivity here, a person can simultaneously be all or none of the things we've described, these people are all selfish. And selfish organisms that are not altruistic are the worst for your mental health, so that's a huge consideration for OP >>34481899 to look at, and also look at himself and determine if he's being selfish, or if he's dealing with a selfish person.
>>34481978>I think there's no mutual exclusivity here, a person can simultaneously be all or none of the things we've described, these people are all selfish. And selfish organisms that are not altruistic are the worst for your mental health, so that's a huge consideration for OPYou'll find that's called "all-or-nothing" thinking. The average person is neither all of those things or none at all, they're almost always something in the middle. Altruism is all well and good, but altruism should never be a stand-in for a personality. Because the definition of altruism means behaving in a way that benefits someone else at the cost of yourself. Do that too often and you lose yourself. "Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction." OP should simply establish boundaries and firmly tell her he does not want to be spoken to in the way she speaks to him, and after putting his foot down, simply ask her what she is feeling, beyond the fridge door 'problem'. No one loses their cool (haha get it because it's a fridge) because of a fridge door. The fridge door is just the scapegoat, what's probably the case is she has some other issue within herself that may not even be about OP at all. And healthy couples are supposed to embrace this sort of thing and help each other out through communication. Which can be either healthy calm discussions or even healthy productive arguments (arguing isn't even the thing that hurts relationships. It's the lack of resolution to arguments that sinks them).I think this shit OP has with her is just typical milestone growing pains of maturation setting in for both of them. And couples who go through this either grow together or grow apart. What determines which outcome happens depends on whether or not which couple can be honest about their faults and which can't. And if OP hasn't had a sincere heart to heart talk with her, I don't think neither of them will find out.
You left the fridge door open? You ignorant fuck!
>>34482559dude that's seriously what she fucking sounds like
>>34481899Learning to live with another person is always a challenge. >>34481936Good write-up. It really depends on what a couple can work through and set boundaries for eachother.Sometimes the effort and what you hand to give up or change to appease that partner may not be worth it. Just be sure to state how you perceive things. People can tend to jump to conclusions based on how they feel about something.
