>>34483265
>little baby has to learn shit
no fuckin kidding, squirt

>>34483265
You're only three years into being adult, don't be too hard on yourself. Are you developmentally lagging behind? Yes absolutely you are. But if you focus on your age you will only cripple your motivation to grow. I relate to your post a lot, I was the same way at your age. I'll compare myself at 21 vs. you at 21:

>don't know how to cook
Neither did I at 21
>don't know how to dress
Neither did I at 21
>don't have many clothes
Neither did I at 21
>don't know how to socialize
I knew, but I didn't want to socialize anyway
>don't know how to take care of hygiene
I knew, I just could not be assed to do it
>don't know how it learn skills
Neither did I at 21
>don't know how to not cry and be depressed at every small failure
I'd get depressed, I couldn't cry but wished I could.
I was also just eating shit like crackers or snacks as a dinner when I moved out of my parents. My own place looked like a crack den, I'd do nothing but sleep all day, waking up only to drink alcohol or smoke weed.

In short, I was a fucking trainwreck. However that's not who or what I am today, over a decade later. I can cook, I have a wardrobe of clothes, I dress decent, I socialize, I regularly shower and brush my teeth, I've been picking up skills every other month, depression is a stranger to me now, I eat right and I have a better home, a job I enjoy, have my own family too. No SSRIs needed and no benzos, no antidepressants and no anti-anxiety pills. No more drugs and no more alcohol.

I genuinely thought I'd be dead by now, and I also believed I'd never become a functional family man and that was all just some dream or impossibility. It's not impossible OP. You absolutely can make something of yourself, but you need to take it slow. Let yourself fail and let yourself grow slowly. The more you expect yourself to boost into progress overnight the longer you will take.

>>34483306
it's just too hard
i'm trying to be better and also just not die from my depression and loneliness
i guess i don't smoke weed or drink much but i feel a strong dependence on benzos rn and i haven't seen my therapist in 3 months

i feel strange, like everyone else knows how to do shit i don't know how to do
and i'm also trying to finish college so i'm not a complete failure in life but it's hard

i should probably buy more clothes and at least when i do shower like every 3 days, i do put on deodorant and clean clothes
but i still suck at so many other things, i'm barely holding it together + all the work in my course is making me want to blow my head smooth off although it's progressing somewhat okay (i will have to repeat a college year but i should graduate the next year)

>>34483378
I believe you, it's hard as fuck for you. I bet you also have that problem I had. Do you wake up feeling like you never slept? As if your eyes were burning with acid? Do you feel like your body is very heavy, like it has invisible weights dragging you down? Like your body is this clunky puppet you have to drag around all day? And even things like thinking exhausts you?

>>34483265
>cooking
Just boil stuff and you’re 90% there. People claim they know how to cook doesn’t mean they do. As far as you can boil stuff for hours you can also claim you know how to cook.
>dress
put pants on and put a shirt on. As long as it fits you’re good. Physique is more important than what you wear. People who know how to dress would still look bad if they were fat or had ugly faces. It’s about your body
>many clothes
You can buy everything for like 300$ total. Otherwise hit the thrift store.
>socialize
Just be attractive. It’s not a skill.
>hygiene
Shower once in a few days, dont wear same clothes more than 2 days. Use deodorant

Don’t overthink. The bar is really fucking low

>>34483445
>Do you wake up feeling like you never slept? As if your eyes were burning with acid? Do you feel like your body is very heavy, like it has invisible weights dragging you down? Like your body is this clunky puppet you have to drag around all day? And even things like thinking exhausts you?
YES
holy fuck, exactly like that!
the eyes thing and puppet dragging concept especially, i really feel like that most days, dude

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>>34483265

>don't know how to cook
You can go into clases, even if you don't there are thousands of recipes online you can learn

>don't know how to dress
Neither do most people, just try what makes you comfortable and observe outfits around you on the street, Pinterest is your best friend also

>Don't know how to socialize
Just learn the basics of pop culture, and try to learn to hear other people and play around their interest. Do they like pop music? sports? believe me, people are more interested in someone who can hear them, than someone who can talk to them.

don't know how to take care of my hygiene

>don't know how to take care of my hygiene
Again, YT videos are your friend. If you are not a girl you don't have to learn about makeup or how to style your hair, there are less stuff to be worried about, trust op.

>don't know how to not cry and be depressed at every small little failure

Everybody cries, what you HAVE to learn are coping techniques to avoid crumbling at those little mistakes.

You don't have to die OP, you just have to learn basic care, and blaming yourself for not being born knowing all these stuff is not the way. One step at the time, watch a tutorial and eat healty today, take a shower too before sleep. Try to shower everyday.

Here is the biggest secret, OP. Its not wrong to not know stuff, its wrong to not care about learning that stuff.

>>34483482
Yep, I knew it. And do you have a lot of brain fog? Like you can't control your stream of thoughts without it impulsively shifting or trailing off into random bullshit? Do you find yourself constantly locked in maladaptive daydreams? Where you are supposed to attend to a task or prepare yourself to go do something, like going to get dressed, and you told yourself you would do it in 5 minutes. But you end up spending 30 minutes projecting mental images onto the back of your eyelids, daydreaming? And then you catch yourself doing that and you feel stress so you end up doomscrolling to distract yourself from the negative feelings? And before you know it, it's been 3 hours. You told yourself you would get dressed in 5 minutes and it's been 3 hours.

Sound familiar?

>>34483497
sometimes it's like that but mostly just rumination a lot
i'm trying to work on it with my therapist, i also have anxiety and panic attacks over my incompetence so that's why i still take benzos

>>34483265
>>34483306
Are you two fucking retarded or something? I moved out at 18 and none of these aspects were ever a problem for me.

>>34484116
It has a lot to do with upbringing.
Parents who enable this shit or encourage it by coddling them deserve to be euthanized.

>>34483378
when you look at that massive pile of stuff it seems well, massive
the trick is to start with one thing and get not even good, but adequate at it
once you are adequate at it, it ceases to become some daunting task you have to face and just becomes routine
then pick another and repeat
the easiest one is hygiene, because this:
>don't know how to take care of my hygiene (or how often, i often end up not showering for 3 days or more)
is complete bollocks - you do know how often you should shower (daily) you just can't be arsed. so start; having a shower isn't one of the labours of hercules it's a basic personal administration task

>>34483265
So learn, retard

>>34483265
you know you can learn, right? You're just depressed and probably neglected or something. Seek out good role models. Ask for help. No one is born knowing how to do things people have to show us.

>>34484133
I was coddled too, and knew nothing when I entered the adult world.
I just figured shit out. It was pretty easy.

>>34483569
>sometimes it's like that but mostly just rumination a lot
i'm trying to work on it with my therapist, i also have anxiety and panic attacks over my incompetence so that's why i still take benzos

I see. Well I bring it up and I was able to accurately describe how you feel in your own body because like I said, I was exactly like you at 21. It turned out I had undiagnosed Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (adhd). And the reason why I completely missed out on recognizing that in myself is because I thought adhd meant being hyperactive and having lots of energy, whereas I had none. Turns out that's not how the disorder works at all. It actually does exactly what you're struggling with. Your pre-frontal cortex has malformation, so that means things like task completion and executive functioning and focus regulation is shot. That's why things like getting dressed and showering feel like a marathon to even consider much less complete.

Have you been told or considered that you may have this?

>>34484116
>Are you two fucking retarded or something? I moved out at 18 and none of these aspects were ever a problem for me.
Yes I was. But in my defense anon I came from a very abusive upbringing, my parents spent their time getting drunk and didn't instill any sort of discipline in me or teach me much. Couple that with adhd and it meant by adulthood I couldn't do much of anything. I am a lot better now though

>>34485242
yes, i have been told or considered i might have this but i only have an anxious-depressive disorder diagnosis and i'm currently going to therapy to see if i have ocd