I doubt there's any way you could convince him to date that girl. He's probably going to have to get dumped by the town bike before he even considers something like that.
Shame your wife can't see what you see in your friend's kid, but I would hope that she has reasons beyond those you shared for not thinking she'd be a good match.

Nothing, whatever you do will only make him hate you. Be glad he is enjoying life. Sluts are fun and he is young. He has his own life and you can never make up for your own mistakes by projecting on him.

Lmao, my mom thought just because she has a friend with a daughter who is single I should give her a chance instead of dating my now-wife. The fucking audacity, lol

>>34485070
Attraction is also a big part of it. Especially at that age. If you were your son, would you want to date a slightly overweight girl who dresses funny and that you have zero attraction to?

How do you know this girl is a slut? Have you seen her with other guys? Or are you just basing this off of gossip? What would you do if your father tried to mettle in your relationships?

I'd say you shouldn't have settled for a having a former slut as a wife, but then you wouldn't have your son. Hard to say. Stop trying to live vicariously through your son by trying to get him to have the nice girl you wish you could've had. Just support him if/when he gets dumped or cheated on. Also stop being bias just because this girl is the daughter of your friend.

>>34485087
I'm looking forward to seeing him destroyed when that slut hurts him, because my wife has been telling him she's perfect for him (they get along very well) and that he shouldn't listen to criticism from me or anyone else.
>>34485107
>will only make him hate you.
I'm his Dad not his friend, I don't care is he hates me as long he lives a better life than I had, my job is to make sure he doesn't learn the hard way what I already paid for with suffering. I'm not here to be liked or to project my own insecurities into him as you said. I'm here to make sure the lessons I earned cost him less than they cost me because I love him.

A Dad who lets his son "live his life"/"commit his own mistakes" is not even lazy but outright neglectful and hates their own child and cares not about them at all. But I care, I even make time to talk to him half an hour after I come home after work, even when I'm exhausted and denormalized, I make time for him.

>>34485070
The kid is 14 and you're already marrying him off and planning his future wife for him?

At 14, he will forget BOTH girls within a month and "go steady" with a half-dozen others before his next birthday.

14 year olds change gfs more frequently than their socks.

>>34485070
None of that shit matters, pick the one with the better face and genes

>>34485170
>I'm his Dad not his friend
You can be a dad and not a friend without making your son hate you. If your son hates you, you know what he won't do, listen to you. Even if he isn't listening now, if you push him to the point of hating you, he will never listen to you, ever.

>>34485170
>I'm looking forward to seeing him destroyed when that slut hurts him, because my wife
This sounds more like you're looking forward to being able to pull the "I was right and you were wrong" card on your son and your wife. You need to step back and re-evaluate yourself. Is this about helping your son, or is this about your ego and being right?

>>34485170
Whew I'm the first replier and I'm gonna have to stop you right here. If this isn't all just an incel larp, you sound like a pretty poor father.

>>34485191
This has gotta be rage bait.

>>34485163
My friend's kid is not ugly, she just doesn't know how to dress well because she doesn't had a mother to teach her while growing up, but she has a pretty face and bright hazel eyes, besides she can always lose weight. My son is just stupid and doesn't understand she going to glow up after puberty is over.

>How do you know this girl is a slut?
Everyone in town knows it, and other parents talk about it too. She has been involved with several other student at my kid school

>What would you do if your father tried to mettle in your relationships
I wish my own Father had done that when I was a kid. That would have saved me a lot of problems and avoidable situations.

>>34485194
Clearly. He probably could have strung me along for a few more posts if hadn't blown his wad in the first reply.

>>34485070
>I was ignored most of my life and ended up married to a woman who was willing to marry me, not one I truly wanted. A woman with a sexual past and a lots of baggage.

>A woman with a sexual past and a lots of baggage

Hmm..


>But my son is a stupid idiot, he's with another girl who's a slut despite not even being 18, she is a known slut around town.


Oh, wow! Seems there may be a connection. The girl your son likes has a similar personality/lifestyle to your wife, according to you.

Looks like Sigma Freud was correct again, that'll be $599 + tip.

>>34485188
>You can be a dad and not a friend without making your son hate you

If you become another friend to your child, you've effectively left him fatherless, because a friend has no obligation to educate them. Then again I don't care if my children hate me. They will thank me in the future after they understand I tried to save them pain and suffering.

>This sounds more like you're looking forward to being able to pull the "I was right and you were wrong

I want him to understand and experience that pain of being hurt by her so he learns the lesson. I want him to realize that if he listens to me, he won't have to go through more pain, because I’ve already made my own mistakes and can help him avoid it.

>>34485196
>not ugly
I never said she was ugly. I said she was slightly overweight (your own words). Would you want to date someone who is slightly overweight and who doesn't dress well with a chance that she might lose the weight?

>Everyone in town knows it.
So hearsay. Got it.

>I wish my father had done that when I was a kid.
The adult you wishes that your father would've done that yes. But would the teenage you have listened to him or pushed him away? Don't think about how you are now as an adult with 20/20 hindsight, but rather think about how you were as a kid and how that version of you would've reacted.

>>34485175
I’m not marrying him off. I just want him to give himself the opportunity to get to know her. She's had a crush on him for a couple of years now, and she's a wonderful, innocent girl.

>>34485234
>If you become another friend to your child, you've effectively left him fatherless, because a friend has no obligation to educate them. Then again I don't care if my children hate me. They will thank me in the future after they understand I tried to save them pain and suffering.

You remind me of my father. You are right, I did hate him for a while. But when I became a parent myself I realized that he was correct the entire time, and that he really did bust his ass off to make sure I was safe, protected, disciplined. And he did it all thanklessly and it turned out all of the preachings of wisdom he shared were all true, be was correct about everything lol.

>>34485240
>The adult you wishes that your father would've done that yes. But would the teenage you have listened to him or pushed him away?

I would've listened to him, but my Father had a career and barely any time for his family. I don't resent him, I never did. We had a nice lifestyle because of his hard work. I respected him back then and i still respect him now

>>34485234
>If you become another friend to your child
Again, twisting words... I never said to be a friend to him. I said you can be a father without making your son hate you. This does not mean be a friend. If you push your son's buttons, he'll push you away and never listen.

>I want him to understand
Those 3 sentences you articulated that well. That is the way you can try to explain it to him by using those exact words. You say you want him to avoid the pain, yet before you say how you're looking forward to seeing your son destroyed. So which is it? Do you want him to have pain or not? You can be a supportive father who isn't a friend. You don't have to be a dick to your son to get him to learn a lesson, because if you're a dick about this, he won't listen. Those who don't listen, don't learn until after the mistake. And even if you try to have a good sit down chat with your son where you explain your reasoning for your interference attempts, he might rightly tell you to kick rocks and let him live his own life anyway because you're being too overbearing.

>>34485227
Read this OP: >>34485070

You need to remember that children, especially sons, will always do exactly what father does (or had done). Sons always become the father, every single time. Your son is going to be your exact double when he is your age, not physically but mentally, he is the exact same soul.

You were attracted to the problem woman with baggage (your wife, his mom). Your son is chasing the problem girl with baggage (the girl you call a town bike).

He is doing exactly what nature intended, whether you feel good about that or not. Your son is going to make the exact same mistakes as you, because he is going to follow your path, you are his role model. And that might scare you but it will mean he will gain the exact same knowledge and wisdom as you once he takes the hits and recovers.

And you should be grateful he is learning the hard lessons at age 15. He is learning faster than you did. He is going to surpass you, because he is going to get the hard life lessons out of the way at a much earlier time in life than (you). You should rejoice and be glad, because it means you have done an excellent job as a father, a fucking great job. You have raised a boy who is going to get on your level at a much faster age than you did.

>>34485243
I know you didn't have anyone in school who was interested in you because you said so, but let's pretend that you did for a moment. If there was a girl who you had zero interest in, who you weren't attracted to, AND you had a hot girlfriend what would you do? Heck, for me the hot girlfriend doesn't even change my answer. Just because she has a crush on him doesn't mean he needs to reciprocate.

>>34485246
People love repeating that there's no manual for being a parent. That's not true. You learn it when you're a son or daughter, by following the example of your own parents. If they were good parents, you replicate their model. If they were bad parents, then you avoid their mistakes.

>>34485070
If you want anything to happen between your son and this nice girl, what you don't do is confront your son about this. What you do is orchestrate time often where those two have no choice but to spend time together and do this often. Perhaps you and your friend are going to a game somewhere where he takes his daughter. Naturally, you want to take your son and the seating arrangements just happen to have them sit together. You can only do this so many times, and they might not talk at all during an event, so go out to eat before or after the game too. Of course this is made harder by your wife. Especially if she badmouths this girl in front of your son.

Be aware though, that if your son and this girl end up together, that any issue that those two have may end up being an issue between you and your friend where you may end up taking a side opposite of your friend. Or it could end up really good. Who knows the future?

>>34485268
>If they were good parents, you replicate their model. If they were bad parents, then you avoid their mistakes.
My parents were both good and bad at the same time. Other people from the outside would call them bad though, they had a lot of problems. Long story. But even then, I knew my parents mistakes and I was conscious of them. I still fell into then one way or another, because the conscious mind is not as powerful as people think. The subconscious is the one who calls the shots. I ended up making the same mistakes as my parents just in different ways. The same mistakes but just different processes towards them. Being aware of their mistakes will not save you from repeating them, but it will guarantee you will adapt and evolve past them. But only after you've made the mistake yourself. Which is what OP's son is doing, and at age 15 too? That's impressive as shit. He's about twice as quick at life lessons as his own dad. And it's thanks to Dad that he is like that. OP seems like a good dad all things considered

>>34485246
I'm not OP, my dad was a father first and foremost. I never hated him though. As adults we were friends. Glad you saw the light and realized your dad was being a good father. I never needed to hate my dad. I didn't like being punished for when I acted out, but even as a kid, I understood why because he'd explain it to me. He always would tell me how he didn't like having to punish my behavior. I think I'm proof that you don't need to make your kid hate you to be a good father.

>>34485249
>So which is it? Do you want him to have pain or not?
He needs to experience pain once so he understand what happens when he doesn't listen. That's what I tried to say.

I will talk to him in the weekend, but his mother has brainwashed him and barely listens to me

>>34485248
You didn't answer my first question. Would you want to date someone who is slightly overweight and who doesn't dress well with a chance that she might lose the weight?

>>34485257
>your son is going to make the exact same mistakes as you

hopefully he won't, because he has me and I love him very much.

>>34485280
Yeah, this talk isn't going to work if this is how it is already. Everyone is telling you not to mettle, and you shouldn't, but if you are going to interfere, an indirect way would be the way to do it. See >>34485273

>>34485258
>If there was a girl who you had zero interest in, who you weren't attracted to, AND you had a hot girlfriend what would you do?

I would've listened to my Dad, that's for sure. I wish my son was more like me back then.

>>34485280
>I will talk to him in the weekend, but his mother has brainwashed him and barely listens to me

Women can't brainwash boys, I know it might feel like they can but trust me, nigga, as crazy as women can be I know the world tries to pretend women can do everything men can do but listen, they can never, ever, ever, EVER do the following:

>Teach a boy how to be a Man

Only men can do this only father can do this (or father role model). Women can't touch this, they can't even understand it much less execute it.

And the way it works is: Sons are never going to listen to their fathers, not really. Because they don't pay attention to what father says they lay attention to what he does, in his actions. And they will pay attention to your stories but they aren't focusing on your ways of describing it, they are focusing on facts of what you had done in the past. Sons only care about what you did and you do. Your actions, nigga. They speak louder than words. And your wife being a woman is going to be the nagging talking chattering one. She isn't brainwashing your son even if she wanted to lol

>>34485273
>What you do is orchestrate time often where those two have no choice but to spend time together and do this often

I think you've given me an idea. I’m quite busy with work right now, but in about 8–9 days I’ll have a couple of days free. Maybe we can invite my friend and his daughter over for a BBQ and spend the whole day together. I think he mentioned a woman he's seeing, so maybe he can bring her too.

>>34485285
>hopefully he won't, because he has me and I love him very much.
Let him make your mistakes. If you want him to grow into the man you are and even surpass you, let him make those mistakes. It's better he learns it now at 15 where he cannot realistically be a father or husband to the problem girl. If you forbid him from making the mistake now, he may repeat it at age 18+. And then he gets a girl like that pregnant or is talked into marriage (and you know how women escalate relationships you know damn well how fast they want boys to live with them).

Let your son make the big fuck up, he is doing it at a time that is going to keep him safe in adulthood. Your only job is to make sure you give him what you never got after you made the same mistake: Support and encouragement.

>>34485070
Maybe your son would like your friend's daughter if your friend got her to eat healthier, exercise, and got her clothes that don't look stupid.

>>34485284
>Would you want to date someone who is slightly overweight and who doesn't dress well with a chance that she might lose the weight?
I would, if she was a pure girl.

>>34485285
>hopefully he won't, because he has me and I love him very much.
And also pay attention to what your wife (his mom) is saying to him. It may not be as bad as you think. My mother was the problem girl with baggage too. And she was the one who told me all the manipulative tricks in the bad girl's playbook, which kept me safe from them because I could see it coming a mile away. And she knew the playbook because that's what she used to do when she was a young teen girl. And because she was a good mom and loved me as a son she told me everything and what to look out for. Much to my dad's disapproval for some reason, he was convinced she was brainwashing me but she was actually equipping me with knowledge on how to handle a troubled girl

>>34485296
>Let him make your mistakes. If you want him to grow into the man you are

The fool and the sage both bleed. Only one learns why. Suffering doesn't guarantee wisdom without guidance.

>>34485383
The one who bleeds is the one who learns why. Experience is the core of wisdom, the one who never learns first hand is the one who will never know it. They'll only hear of it but never actually know it

File: bb192d00960abc2efa068122e(...).jpg (28 KB, 500x500)

28 KB JPG

>>34485070
>I was ignored most of my life and ended up married to a woman who was willing to marry me, not one I truly wanted.
It is not too late. Dump your bitch of a wife and ask that girl out yourself. As the other anon said, you are the same as your son, who she has a crush on, so it should go well for you.