I'm getting stressed out about my wedding because it's too expensive, and everyone expects some kind of theatrical production. Here's what it is looking like right now: $2000 - $5000 for rings$2000 for a dress$2000 for a photographer$8000 - $12000 for a venueHair and make-up, another $1000. Then we have to travel and see in-laws, another $1000. His family wants a party afterward, which I refuse to pay for.Then there's government paperwork, which is an unknown sum. Then he wants to go on a honeymoon, which will be another $2500 or so.Like how are we supposed to pay for all of this? Everyone complains about marriage rates plummeting, but it's too damn expensive to get married. I'm not going to go into debt for what is effectively an obsolete ceremony. >just ask your family for helpNot everyone is rich.
>>34486037What part is he paying for? Get a Moissanite ring, get a Chinese dress online and have it locally tailored, hire a photographer for a shorter time and have a dedicated half hour photo session with family just before the ceremony, find a cheaper venue, find a friend who is good at hair and makeup and pay her a small sum and make her a bridesmaid, get in-laws to travel to the wedding somehow, and skimp on the cake and reception costs as much as you can. You'll have to cut corners but starting off a marriage in 30k+ debt is a nightmare and you need to somehow express that to your fiance.
>>34486057I already told him I don't want a diamond ring. A simple gold ring is more than enough. If I could do this whole thing on a micro budget and get married in the woods with one witness, I would do it that way. I don't see the point in spending tremendous amounts of money on this. Especially when we're thinking about having kids. I cannot imagine going in the hole for this crap then going in the hole again with hospital bills. I thought I was cutting corners already by trying to book a venue that catered. I earnestly thought this would be $10,000 and now it's inflating to around $30,000, and I cannot afford it. I've told him as much as well. Weddings are supposed to be happy events but right now it makes me just want to go throw up from nervousness. I'm borderline about to ask him if we can just go get married by ourselves and skip a reception altogether. That would save $10,000 easily
I married my wife of 10 years in a vegas style wedding in denmark with 50 euro rings, all costs included has cost us 300 euros. But then again none of us had many friends to invite as we are not normies and just needed the tax benefits
>>34486079I wish that was an option, but his family is expecting a spectacle. They're one of these all-American type families and want the expensive framed photos on the wall and the big catered event with dancing and music and drinking. That's all well and good, but they're also not paying for it. And if I say no we're not doing a wedding like that, it's going to be a drama nuclear war. As it is I'm now looking for the cheapest dress possible just because I know I'm going to have to pay for their night of fun.
lmao how the fuck you finna spend more on venue and photographer than honeymoon trip? even if you HAD to spend all that your priorities are fucked up
>>34486087if you can't make them happy during the pre-wedding phase then they are going to be really shitty in-laws. let their expectations be unmet and do what works best for you and your future family. prioritizing yourselves now sets the boundaries for later on. if you do gymnastics to kowtow to them now they'll always be expecting it.
>>34486193That's the thing that's pissing me off. I being told the price of things I didn't even ask for. Meaning, people are going behind my back and setting things up with me more or less cut out. I'll be expected to pay for it though of course. They literally wanted a photographer to follow me around all day taking photos while I'm getting ready and I can think of nothing that would irritate me faster than some hovering literal who I didn't even want there. >Oh but this person is a friend of the family!I get that, but I'm not paying for it
>>34486037YOU DO NOT OWE A DAMN THING TO YOUR INLAWS OR EVEN TO YOUR OWN PARENTS.I helped my wifes mother get back on her feet after divorce by living with my wife and her for 2 years in the basement of a townhouse. Shit literally rained down from the ceiling because she can't potty train a fucking EIGHT YEAR OLD. Neither of us got a sorry or a thank you. Now she makes out with a man 10 years younger than her at her teenage daughters birthday. If your soon to be husband is down, you can have a simple wedding at a simple venue with simple whatever blah blah blah. Thrift your dress, tailor it for <500 bucks, get cheap costume rings, do your own makeup (why the fuck would that cost 1000 dollars anyways?????) and have a small after-ceremony with some food and music. Put all the money you can into the honeymoon. Fuck the wedding. The wedding is for YOU and is up to only YOUR standards. If his family can't accept that, fuck em, it's not their fucking relationship. This shit gets me so fired up.
>>34486037If you need that much bullshit to get married, your relationship isn't worth a damn.You need: 1. You and your wife: $02. Rings: $0 (you can DIY them out of scrap material)3. Paperwork (however much the government charges)The rest is just fluff to please a woman who loves your wallet more than she loves you.
>>34486037Who is 'everyone' that expects a theatrical production? The only people who matter are you and your to be spouse. If everyone else wants a big party they can pay for it. If they aren't willing to pony up a single cent, genuinely tell them to get fucked.
>>34486087I probably wouldn't do it anyway. You're financially destroying yourself to appease other people. That is retarded.
