Do you think its a bad idea to use porn to motivate myself into doing what I call "improvement tasks"? For example, I have been trying to cut all porn use. I am finding its nearly impossible for me to do so in a complete way because porn has basically been with me since I was 13 and I am 30 now. Anyway, I tried hard quitting and I just found that my mind would relentlessly hunger to see very particular pornos again and it bugged me. So what I came up with is basically giving myself completion tasks that if I do them, THEN I can look at porn and only on a particular day at a certain time. Example, Some tasks I gave myself this week were: Have a brief conversation with 5 strangers(bonus points if a woman). I rarely strike up conversations with people. In fact, I almost hate it. However, I realize its a muscle that I have to work in order to get stronger at it. So in this case, if I talked to 5 strangers and had a brief conversation, I would allow myself to use porn on a given day and then give myself a different set of tasks. I always make sure the tasks cause me some sort of discomfort but aren't impossible for me. Do you think this is a bad idea to do things like this? It actually helped me feel more okay about using the porn and at the same time I felt like I had accomplished these tasks that in the long run will help me. In a perfect world, I'd put the porn down completely and never think about looking at it again but I enjoy looking at naked women obviously and don't have the means of getting a girlfriend(even though I am trying). That could be a whole different thread though.
>>34489455>my mind would relentlessly hunger to see very particular pornos againYou know how women get attached to men very easily after/during sex?It's the same for men.I've had the same problems like you and the easiest way to get over this is to not go to sleep late and lose yourself in hobbies or always be around people.
>>34489455If you're going to be addicted anyway, this is the better way to operate.I tend to err towards the middle path, which is to say that you don't use too much but you also don't go cold turkey if it causes you too much hardship.
>>34489473I see what you mean about the hobbies and such but sometimes I feel that doesn't work. For me at least. I truly believe that sexual energy can only be released in a sexual way I guess. So masturbation or have sex. I think the issue I have is that I don't want to treat my natural human libido as something bad when... it is a good thing that we have this right? But I don't know the exact healthy way to manage it.
>>34489476I would agree with you. I think the middle path is probably more easily managed. However, a part of me is like imagine if my vice is something more drastic? Like Alcoholism or smoking crack? My plan would sound insane to someone lol. Oh... you talked to 5 strangers and now you get to smoke a dose of crack? Sounds insane when put that way but is that a apples to apples comparison? Can porn be compared to crack which causes literal damage to your body in very physical ways?
>>34489455I cum constantly when I have nothing to do. Sometimes I use it as a distraction from something I have to get done. But it's not just porn, it's browsing the internet with my laptop or phone, watching videos, and playing games too. Sometimes sleep. And in-between all they I fap.I'm a mess, but cumming is literally the highlight of my day. From all the things I do - cumming makes me the happiest. There's nothing more I want to do than to cum, and when I'm with a lady - it's like my soul is being sucked out of my penis when I cum, it feels so fucking good. I feel at peace. I feel love. I feel complete. I haven't had a woman in 2 years, until last month when I had a short, couple week relationship, and it's improved me in every aspect of my life. Cumming is motivation, having someone there is motivation. But withholding a specific activity you enjoy to get motivated is no good in my opinion, because I think that your priorities change. One time you want to cum, another time you'll want to play computer game. And maybe if you focus only on withholding cumming as a reward, you'll find yourself still using gaming as the new distraction. And if you take away gaming, maybe you'll find that roaming around is your new distraction.So what I'm trying to say is, I think that it you focus on locking yourself out from activities your enjoy in order to get motivation you'll just find something else to do to not do the things that you have to do. So I think that instead of focusing on rewards, focus on tasks. It's a small frame switch.Think that your whole life is a reward - you are a free person. Free to choose what you do next! Cum, game, eat, whatever you like. But there are tasks you must do and you do them. Don't withhold. I withheld a lot of my life, it didn't help. You'll literally stare at a wall and not do the things you have to do still. You'll deprive yourself from something you actually enjoy, and be even MORE demotivated and distressed. 1/2
>>34489481Some people do intentionally use crack or alcohol in the same way. Obviously, it's better if you had never tried it to begin with, so your brain was not exposed to it, but if it's too late then it will be hard.Porn is probably as addictive as crack, but unlike crack it does not cause physical harm besides the harm it causes to the brain.
2/2So actually, do the things you love and frame it in your head as "I have to do this task now because it's good for me", don't withhold pleasures from yourself, because you'll devolve further. I'm telling you this from personal experience. And yes being specific in what your task is, is good.Another word for the wise - don't do the irl shit to get a gf. Use dating apps.t. Guy who tried irl route for 2 years and suffered greatly, now on apps after looking thinner and better and getting better photos clothes and hairs, and now I'm getting matches and going on a date tomorrow.
>>34489492>Another word for the wise - don't do the irl shit to get a gf. Use dating apps.I will consider all of your advice but this really stuck with me because of one thing... I don't think dating apps work at all for me. I have been on hinge for close to 10 years and not had a date. More recently, I paid for the super subscription for just one month(like 40-50 dollars I think) just to try it. The only match I got was with a chinese bot account. I felt awful. So I kind of want to stay away from online dating for awhile because its destroying my self esteem. I basically tortured myself for 10 years via hinge because I kept telling myself, just keep trying and waiting. Nothing. Not saying it can't work but it hasn't for me and its torching my self esteem. I don't think I am hideous or anything. I think the issue is that women are really inundated on those apps. However, the subscription says it sends your messages to the top of the inbox for anyone you message and I still got no replies. Made me want to jump off a bridge.
>>34489496I feel you brother. I was on 7 different apps for 10 months and got a single (1) real match, we went to Whatsapp to chat for a bit before she ghosted. The rest were bots.Then, I lost 20kg, dressed well, groomed my hair and facial hair, shaved, took nice pics, wrote a very honest description, and in my current run which I started 1.5 months ago when I downloaded 5 dating apps - I actually had like 8-9 real matches. 3 of those went to Whatsapp, 1 of them turned into a date, which turned into a short relationship then back to friendship, and 1 girl who didn't give me her phone number yet is going on a date with me tomorrow. It is possible dude. It's just that you need to look like you're trying. I think your time will be spent way better working on your physical health, hairs, and grooming, than on trying to meet girls irl. Like I said, I did all that and it was great for me in all aspects - except for the romantic one which ultimately, about a year and a bit in, sent me spiraling because I thought what the fuck am I doing with my life. I provide so much value to others and do so many cool things, but I come back to an empty home and no girls are interested in me and 2 even rejected me preemptively before I even stated that our meeting was a date. Don't do the guessing game, get with 2026.And you need more than just hinge, I have a stack of 7 now. 7 apps. Each app gave me a different girl. The girl I had the short relationship with I met on okcupid. The girl from the date is from bumble.
>>34489481I do the same reward thing but with food (sweets in particular) and I think porn is healthier
>>34489455Absolutely demonic meme. Just inverting reality.
>>34489455You sound like you're a desperate little faggot frankly. You can do what you want, you're just going to be another dude that I step on on the way up. Disgusting fucking pervert.
>>34489455it is a bad idea because porn causes brain fog. you have much more mental clarity without porn use and masturbation. a better alternative would be to remove all sources of pornography in your most vulnerable spaces (aka your bedroom) and just jork it using your imagination that way you are jorking it to real women and dont pick up bad habits. ideally you want to minimize masturbation but this is healthier
