>meet girl, insane chemistry>she drops the bomb: she’s an active high-end GFE escort>I was fucking around too, so I wasn’t a saint. I cut everyone else off to make it work as exclusive between us>she fully quits the life, stays loyal, and tries to reinvent herself as an entrepreneur>Sunk Cost Fallacy hits hard. We do a big trip to my home country (she paid her flights and split costs, she wasn’t using me)>but the dissonance never leaves. I look at her baggage (aging, debt, traumas) and a voice tells me I’m settling>instead of ending it early, I selfishly drag it out>last night is the final trigger. We get into a bullshit argument and like a retard I bring up how future sexbots will make women obsolete>she gets insecure: “Would you prefer a sexbot or me?”>I’m mentally checked out, so I just pause in silence. She gets hurt and says: “I wish you had just said me”>instead of comforting her, I logically explain how the bots would work, even while adding I wouldn’t use one myself. Just completely cold>Upset, she sleeps on the couch. Next morning, cold silence, but we both knew the outcome>It’s over, drove her home and ended it.I know it was the right move, but I feel like human garbage. She actually tried, paid her way, and told me multiple times that all she ever wanted was for me to love her back. But I’m too cold, and I always end up loving less than the other person.This isn’t the first time I’ve been called selfish or told I don’t give enough. I’m so used to fucking around and dodging commitment that I dragged this out and basically destroyed her all over again.How the fuck do you deal with the guilt of breaking a girl’s heart?
>>34489695Can sort of relate. From the few dates I've been on, the girls always ended up being with high bodycounts / abusive ex / some other bullshit. Always ended it early with them, since I knew instantly what was going on. I heard the exact same voice telling me that I was settling.One even had invited me over to her place for sex, but I ended it before we got that far. The difference here is that I'm completely inexperienced, compared to you. Don't sweat it dude, with time the pain will go away.
>>34489695Go to confession, repent your sins, think about one last message to apologise to this girl, then stay out of her life
>>34489762Thank you bro. Appreciate the message.>>34489830Yes, I can send some message to her later. But obviously, I cannot leave the door open anymore. I think she'll make it eventually since she can already sort of disengage emotionally through the gfe part. But yeah this is definitely a kill blow for her. She has a necklace with a picture of us, she always hold whenever she feels under pressure.I'm already asking God for forgiveness and this will definitely make me slow down as to not fuck around without purpose. I was somewhat happy, but remorse was always eating me. She did try. But I couldn't love her back to the same level
Also the bot is telling me I shouldn't send a last message to her. That's only my mind trying to justify myself as to not be the villain. But I cannot be the good guy offering my best regards to her and a band aid to make her feel better. When I have already decided it's over and made it strict and clear. So I'm a bit torn. But I might keep silent after all and let her mourn. How can I justify it?Saying it isn't you it's me. Kek. She already knows what my issues are with her. And I cannot fix it (plus my commitment issues which are really heavy too, and obviously made worse from her being an ex gfe).
GFE escort eh?Do you think about the hundreds of dicks she has had in her mouth when you kiss her?
>>34489923Yes, that's indeed a constant part of the problem in my head. Plus she started at 23 and now is 29.My body count is higher than 100, but I did the math for her. Could be anywhere from 200-500 bodies...Still, most modern "non whores" women are already upward of 100 bodies too.Wish it was different.
>>34489695>I know it was the right move, but I feel like human garbage.You *are* human garbage.>How the fuck do you deal with the guilt of breaking a girl’s heart?First you apologise, profusely and unreservedly. Then you promise yourself that you'll never do something like that again; and you actually keep that promise.
>>34489975Before I knew about her escort past I was completely blown away by her and said to myself this is someone I want to be with and maybe even have kids lmao.When she told me about her current profession then, I immediately told her we were already doomed. We simply prolonged the inevitable. I tried but I'm not strong enough to forget about that past. Then I started picking her imperfections, then the unicorn image I had built of her initially was completely destroyed.It ain't also my first time breaking hearts, as I said I do have commitment issues and indeed need to reflect for the future. But yeah, this time I really fucked it up.But I might think about apologizing somehow without opening doors. Not sure what's there to gain there though. Maybe silence is better.
>>34489695That’s really not fucking true, pic in OP wanted to get rid of competition in the market. Actually it’s the other way around, being in a relationship makes you give more of a shit about your life since someone expects you and wants you to do well
>>34490094I guess it depends on the relationship and the power balance. At least in my scenario I'm usually the most competent vs the chick and being "free" leaves me to focus on myself and pursue improvements in my own selfish ways.But then again I got a silly valentine card from ex gf that said "We can do it". Guess I couldn't after all.
>>34490004>Maybe silence is better.Better for you, sure. But you're trying not to act like human garbage, remember. You're trying to be less weak.
>>34490132Well, but she is quite smart in reading feelings (in fact she saw me off already the day we met and asked about it, before we even got the argument that ended things later at night), I don't know how to send a text to make her feel better, when it's already over for me, and then again I don't wanna be weak and play with her and leave any hope of us getting back. So I'm not sure. But definitely tomorrow I'll give it some thoughts about it.I do feel like crap, gave her an ass half hug when I said goodbye. Terrible (still I took her home, but I also packed some silly stuff she had at my place too).It's funny because when she told me about her escorting I was expecting by mirroring myself that she was also fucking around with one or 2 other guys at the time (which was exactly what I was doing at the time, seeing 2 other girls + her). Never expected a professional for a man whore.
How much $$ did she make in total, and what was her $$/hr rate
>>34490273Nah bro, you don't even wanna know... She was studying medicine, has her bachelor degree there but didn't do the specialization and quitted due to the environment pressure. I thought she was gonna go back to study after quitting (she always said she was gonna resume/keep that career) so I was disappointed but supportive in her becoming an entrepreneur. As far as her rates were it was it like 1.1k+- euros the date of 3 hours minimum in which half is spent at least talking kek. Agency gets roughly 40-45% from there I think and then the governments gets it's cut too.As far as the money goes. She never saved any. She blew it consuming accessories just to fill the void. And she carries the medicine debt too, which I have no idea how much is it. But could be 40k euros+.Of course this also weighs into my decision, rationally speaking.I also know some clients gifted her shoes and purses that were "expensive" as well
>>34489953idk man it sounds like she was a perfect fit for you bodycount wise. Why are you expecting a chaste woman while being a whore yourself?
>>34490382I'm just retarded I guess. I traded a teacher that worked with slow kids because intellectually wasn't fulfilling for me and tried with the escort since we had the spark and chemistry and she has the intellect too. But what eats me is the idea of finding perfection, that unicorn.I see her getting older, fatter, in debt, and no clear future prospect if her business fails. Plus, I already said in my mind I cannot have kids with her because of her past. So why I am keeping the relationship, just for comfort? At least I didn't cheat on her once we established exclusivity and I tried being respectful as long as I could. Also, in multiple occasions I could get paranoid, overthinking whether she was actually still ongoing and seeing clients (she even told me she cancelled her private clients lists and said to them she moved on).
>>34490346Oh, why go through agency if they take a cut? More clients that way? And yeah judging by her past behaviour I don't think she'd make a very good entrepreneur lol. Sounds like more debt
>>34490771The agency brought a high volume of clients. Well at least she tried, and she did it for herself the quitting (which she said she was thinking beforehand).I wonder whether I should write something to her.
Should I send this or is it just empty words to justify somehow?[Her name], I’m writing this only because I felt the need to sincerely apologize. I’m not looking to start a conversation or for you to reply, but I didn’t want to leave things the way they were.I know that the way everything happened hurt you, and I’m truly sorry for the pain I caused and for not having handled this better. I’m genuinely sorry for the harm I did to you.As I said yesterday, I know this hurts deeply right now, but I trust that with time we’ll both be able to heal and be in a better place.You are a genuinely good person and you deserve to be loved fully.I sincerely wish you strength and all the best.
>>34492284Way too overdramatic about everything, both of you. You need to set hard boundaries. No dumb entrepreneur shit, get your shit together, get your money together, no dumb shit. No escorting shit anymore, no seeking other men, etc. Done, ez. If she can't abide to that then she can fuck off. Y'all had a meltdown over sexbots for crying out loud. Both of you need to grow up. Tldr thread but fr. Be honest to her like you did to us and if it works out it works out if it doesn't it doesn't. No biggie
>>34492524Yes, I suppose now that I see it from her she only needed validation and made a bit of shit test with that sex bot bs. And we do argue on little shit like that which is over the top indeed. She's no longer escorting since November last year. Might call her, but maybe that's retarded. She even asked why I was with her. I didn't even answer that.
>>34492532Yes you probably left her in the dark, best clear things up with her, be honest, give closure to you both
>>34489695man I'm usually quick to blame women more than men, even if just subconsciously. but you're a big meaniehead OP. you brought her up just to crush her as coldly as possible. peak female behavior.
>>34492692Yes, I think I'm an inconsiderate asshole.. definitely I've been rough with her more than needed
>>34489695What's the guilt about? You didn't want her, you don't have her. Everything is as it should be.
>every man knows he would be more successful if he was single That meme was made by someone who takes the insane confidence and energy boost a woman gives for granted. Every study done on this has shown being single increases depression, heart attacks, anxiety, basically all illnesses, it wrecks your immune system, etc etc. He feels that way because he has NO idea how fucking bad it would be if he was single. I hope he dies alone and realizes the only reason why hes successful is because he isnt depressed as fuck being alone.
>>34489695> "High-end"> "I feel like I'm settling"Ain't nothing high end about prostitution.Look, girls can do this. It's just something they can do, and they come with this ability built in. The thing is, some girls don't act on it, and yours did. Every girl is capable of doing it, but the ones who have already done it are way more likely to do it again. And that's where the difference lays.You're with a girl who's not only aware of her power, but has actually executed it in that manner. Therefore, she is more risky to be with than with other girls. This is where your fear is truly coming from. I don't believe that you're feeling this way just because you see her as low value, I think that you're feeling this way because you know that she did that, and that she can do it again, and you're afraid to commit to such a person. That's valid, and I hope you manage to figure it out. Idk what else to say. I'd love to have a girlfriend who loves me.
