This picture describes my life pretty well. I struggle heavily with procrastination. I would rather sit here and ruminate or think about changing or doing things, rather than taking action.I'm 25 now, and for the past 7 years I have been stagnating. At a snail's pace over 5 years, I earned a BS degree in GIS/geography, a field that doesn't pay amazingly, and nobody knows or cares about it. I then got a government job for my field that doesn't particularly challenge or fulfill me, and doesn't pay great. I've now been there a year and a half and progressed nowhere since.Meanwhile I observe my friend who became an airline pilot. It was his sole goal, and he excelled at it. He makes over double what I make, works half the time I do, is married, and progressing well in life. He has everything a man needs or wants. He earned it, good for him. Being a pilot is cool, there's reputation, prestige, benefits. My career is some lame pencil pushing job sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day.I once thought about it too but I never went to a university for flight like he did. I took classes in highschool for it. I sat behind and said "hmm maybe someday". And someday or tommorow turned into weeks, months, years. That's really the definition of my life. I've never been in a relationship, I never became a pilot or even got my PPL. I didn't get a masters degree. I didn't ever study or work abroad. I didn't learn a new language. I didn't make great money. I didn't get a cool car. I still live with my parents. And now I'm halfway through my 20s.Even if I changed everything instantly today, changed my trajectory, I'm still a loser who is years behind his peers. I'm noncommital, I'm inexperienced. I'm a manchild, really. I sit in my room and do what? Collect Pokemon cards or Lego or Warhammer figures and play video games? That is my life. I'm a loser who never even grew up.And the worst part is, it's not like I don't know all of this. I've been self-aware and I hate it.
read atomic habits
I try to lift weights or run 5-6 days a week and practice guitwr 15 minutes- 2 hours a day. Im still fat and awful at guitar but it feels nice to slowly improve at something.
>>34499046Your mindset is fucking you up. Lower your expectations and now you have a great life. you're choosing to be unhappy. Be a virgin in an ok job who collects lego it's not a bad life . Stop comparing yourself to others and you'll become happier. I know this because I am an ambitionless, friendless, virgin and I am happy. Remember no path is inherently "better" to do with your life anything is valid.
You just have to force yourself to do things, it sounds obvious but here is what I did.For example, I always wanted to learn guitar, so one day I just bought an expensive guitar. So then I had no choice but to learn cause I had already paid for it.So if you want to learn something or go outside just pay for a course or buy plane tickets and then you will have no choice but to do it.
Yeah, I feel you man. Sorry though, because I just don't know how to get out of this loop, because I literally came here to ask for an advice, same as you.I haven't been on 4chan for ages now, but I had this urge to write this post for a few years, to ask someone for an advice. Usually I'd just let this feeling brush off and found a way to cope somehow, but now I genuinely feel confused. I'm sorry in advance. Originally I didn't thought that there will be so much whining and bitching. I doubt that anyone will have a grip to even read through all of that bullshit - maybe I'm just doing it for myself. I don't even know who to vent to. Man, it's gonna be a really long fucking post.
>>34504579Just a short backround, because I feel it will give a better understanding of my situation. I had an abusive dad that used to beat the shit out of me and tell me how worthless I am; years of isolation; I had interests that could get my ass beaten in the school; divorced family; shitty college. The usual stuff. On top of that, I'm stuck in one of the poorest places in whole Europe, and shit is so bad I have to migrate for a seasonal work when I can just to have something to live because work here is pays whole lot of nothing (usual pay per month is around 200-300$). Those migration jobs differ, but they pay well enough. Still, it's a job, rarely an easy one. I'm a certified digital addiction case, been playing vidya since a little kid starting with NES. Love me some comics, movies, music - all that good stuff. And pointless borderline autistic internet discussions, ofc.What pushed me further today to write this is similar to what OP is experiencing. I compared myself to someone I knew. I was checking up on a few of my classmates, and one case made me question alot of things. At my first school I had one friend in class, he was also a nerd who liked all the same stuff that I do. We would talk and have fun together every now and then. After I got into another school I absolutely stopped talking with anyone of them. Poor guy got straight up bullied and beaten maybe x5 times more than me, and IIRC he's from a much poorer family than mine.
>>34504592So I found out that he actually got into the college I wanted (it's something that I was lied about, that there is no *college name* in our whole country and I didn't even had a say in this) and got a degree; he found a beautiful, geniunely beautiful girlfriend and proposed to her a few years back, now they're happy and live in one of the most beautiful cities in Russia. He got a nice job, one he likes, good paycheck all of that. I'm happy for the guy - he deserved it. But it just makes me question where did I turn so wrong.Here I am: will be 25 this year, still living with mom and older brother in a small one-bedroom apartment, leaving home only to go for groceries, with just a couple of friends whom I meeting with maaaybe twice a year. Yeah, I have alot of acquaintances, somehow managed not to shit in anyone's cereal so far, but I'm not even talking to any of these people. Ever since december, after a restless few years of work with nothing remotely close to a vacation, I've been stuck in a house, playing vidya and stuck on twitter feed in hopes to catch a glimpse at something nice and not miserable. Had a bunch of online friends, a few shitty experiences, and recently I decided to cut almost all connections to a friend group I've been with for almost 8 years now. I saw a trajectory and few major red flags I knew so well and just thought to cut the shit out before anything even happens. Obviously, this loneliness doesn't help at all. Or maybe it does, idk. At least now I'm not stuck in pointless fucking conversations and don't have to hear about some asshole#1523 who said something stupid somewhere and dropped a fucking sausage in his kitchen or whatever.
>>34504599I'm making very few meaningful steps in life if any at all and somewhere I just gave up on my dreams. I know I just have to pick up that fucking pencil and start doodling something. I know I just have to turn this fucking laptop off and read a book. I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't know how much farther do I need to fucking fall and sink in this pit of the shit and the piss to get my shit together and do SOMETHING. Maybe I'm just afraid that I will have to struggle and get better at something. I'm like a fucking robot, doing things on instinct, just to enjoy something so I can last another stupid pointless fucking day. Even tho I had this idea at some points as a child and it just made me cry hysterically, now I'm thinking about suicide daily like it's nothing.I'm making very few meaningful steps in life if any at all and somewhere I just gave up on my dreams. I know I just have to pick up that fucking pencil and start doodling something. I know I just have to turn this fucking laptop off and read a book. I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't know how much farther do I need to fucking fall and sink in this pit of the shit and the piss to get my shit together and do SOMETHING. Maybe I'm just afraid that I will have to struggle and get better at something. I'm like a fucking robot, doing things on instinct, just to enjoy something so I can last another stupid pointless fucking day. Even tho I had this idea at some points as a child and it just made me cry hysterically, now I'm thinking about suicide daily like it's nothing. Not doing it just because "well, Mom didn't deserve this and I need to help her" lol.
>>34504615Even despite all the odds, little me used to be kind and hope for better tomorrow, for everyone. I used to endure all the pain and dream about a better future, that one day I'll have this magic window opening, a time gap, and I'll do something amazing OR JUST SOMETHING. That everyone, or at least those dear to me will be proud.Yet here I am, crying in a text with a fucking poker face staring at the screen on 4chan of all the possible places. Pitiful motherfucker. Absolute tool.Anyway, I'm sorry OP, I hope you will find that strive and energy within you to move on and improve your life. Also I'm sorry for shitting the whole thread with this, I honestly didn't expected that I will spew out so much, I just didn't wanted to shit on board by creating another thread.
>>34504615oh wow wonderful I copypasted the same text twice in one postmaybe I really should just end it
>>34499046use your money to find things you like and stop doing things that waste time
>>34499046https://youtu.be/lqZehFAwoTM?t=32It's over as soon as you turn 18 and leave the school system without a well established social circle. You go to work, but you won't make any friends, just coworkers. You join a sports club, same deal. It's over, because everyone already has their social circles locked in since childhood. You'll be nothing more than a coworker, destined to be alone for life. Social life and relationships are like trains you have to catch at the quay, a race against time that takes place during adolescence. And by extension, logically of course, no social life and no women.But normies don't understand this because they are clueless normies who think you can walk into a bar full of strangers and magically form a social life like in The Sims. Only women can start from scratch and create a social life and get a boyfriend from scratch because of their status as women.Whether you're 25 or 35 it doesn't change anything, maybe for the normies, but for you and me Chud, a year is like any other, the sands of time flowing towards nothingness, nothing more.. nothing less.
>>34499046You're like me dude. Smart, reflective, honest, inactive. I'm you, but turning 30 in a short while. If you start now, you can be the people I'm jealous of now, at nearly 30.The good thing is, I don't want or care for kids, I just want a girlfriend who loves me.
>>34506282No woman will ever love you anon, 90% of women out there do not love their man, they don't know how to love anyway; they only tolerate him as long as he provides.Learn to be stoic and get by without their fake and subpar love therefore about 90% of women should be invisible to you. Rise up above your biological programming.Take care of your health anons and find distractions to help pass the time, that's all most people do anyway, the difference is they do it with somebody so time spent together flows differently. It's merely an illusion though
>>34502964I'm not OP, yet I experience the same, I'm 26 yo studying a degree I hate (sunk cost fallacy is real and ruined my life) because at least maybe-will give me a secure job.Good for you if you're happy with your life, and I say this in good faith. The problem is neither OP nor me are ambitionless, we want more yet our ownselves ruin our future us.In my case, my procastination happens because I hate what I'm studying, if I could do what I want I would be a workaholic. And I'm studying something I hate because my parents forced me (for my parents the "prestigious secured job" is mandatory and fullfilment is optional), despite what I want to do (at least last time I checked) also is a good job too.
