>>34501199
You are now breathing manually
You are now blinking manually
You are now aware of your mortality
You are now thinking about the responsibilities you have not fulfilled
You are now remembering the most cringe thing you’ve ever done

The teacher just wrote back to me. I wonder what she wants

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Life is tragedy itself. From the moment of birth, we are condemned to suffer. Men imagine that joy is their natural state, and that suffering merely visits them from time to time as an unwelcome guest. I hold the contrary to be true: suffering is the natural condition of man, while joy is but a fleeting reprieve, a brief intermission in an otherwise unending torment. We suffer not only through the cruelties of the world, but within the chambers of our own minds, where thought itself often becomes an instrument of anguish. Rare indeed are those moments when pain loosens its grip, and even then, such relief endures only briefly before we are cast once more into the familiar depths of sorrow.

schizophrenics are always right about everything

>>34501214
your left kidney is now rotating in the wrong way

I fucked my girlfriend in the ass 2 days ago.

it's over.

Every person I talk to about you tells me that you just aren't a good person and I need to stop defending you. They even say you are abusing me. The crazy part is I'm aware I'm trying my best to make you sound good too. Hmmm

Better to be pissed off than pissed on

>>34503745
A combo of the two is hot though

I didn't realize you liked me back, and now I'm afraid I hurt you by playing it too cool.

if not in 2 days, then i'm done. it's not for me, it's not in my cards. i'm done, for good. i dont care anymore.

>>34505046
Not unless I kill you first

>>34505109
welcome to try, friend.

Everyone keeps yelling at me. doesn't feel great

Why are you ignoring me? Did you meet someone else? I really miss you.

>>34505223
If you really missed me, I shouldn't be the one initiating texts like a needy puppy.
If you really missed me, you wouldn't just leave me neglected while I'm playing receptionist for a dead fucking building.
If you really missed me, you'd explain why, because it's fucking weird you miss me when I'm a nobody in your totem pole.

You didn't. And I realized I wasted my time and was a dumbass yet again. I should've asked for your thing 3 months earlier so I could've had a headstart with my plans and skedaddle with no issue.

I'm gonna go back to obsessing on my career now, and leave this shit ass job, and never talking to you or anyone else there again.

>>34505223
I didn't meet someone else, no. Being alone is better than being with you

You only miss me because you're bored and your life sucks

i am ghosting you not because of the pedophilia but because you are annoying af. you give the same speech about it every time we talk. how do you forget you told me this every single time?

>>34501199
Kinda early. I want to silent protest the bump limit to 360ish.

>>34503597
Did it smell

>>34505532
That's disgusting

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Other tammy from childhood has been gone since April 2025 and I don’t know if derek is dead or if he even is or was my biological father, same goes for tammy I don’t know if either Tammy is my biological mother. I just know that they do everything they can to fuck me up and pretend to be victims each time the police arrive. I told u about everything else they did to me, documented everything and they did something yesterday that will only cause more damage to me if I explain. Tamara is sitting on two properties and refuses to let me sleep in one because of “what happened” and isn’t willing to explain it any further than that. I can blow my brain with a slug at any time and I don’t see the point in going on any longer.
Why live anymore? Looks like It’s either kill myself now or continue being spirit cooked until I do. Nobody fucking cares.
Give me one reason to keep living.
All I am is five seconds away from suicide. Are u sure this is what u want?
This will be going in my head by the end of today if someone doesn’t do something. I’m done fuckin around.
The 3/4” is sliding thru the entirety of the 1” and I have a perfectly centered screw in the cap that lines up with the primer.

>>34503637
Talking to friends and family is always going to end up a hug box for you. Their bias reinforces dysfunction instead of accountability and understanding the reality of what's going on.
Go to therapy for an unbiased take.

If I don’t live to see tomorrow once more it will be your fault. All u care about is removing people’s guilt once they truly understand what is happening and what they are doing. It’s killing me.

Everything I’ve done. Everything I’ve felt. Everything I’ve seen. All for nothing. Somehow I didn’t think it would go to waste but I know now that I was surely wrong. Sons of God, sons of man failed me equally. Make peace with that.

I told my psychiatrist I'm not taking the meds anymore. She was concerned and then begged me to see a therapist and still check in with her.

Fuck off. I'm not that ill

Drank a pint of 8.4% I think I’m going to “do it” once the feeling wears off.

I want to live but if u don’t fix this now then I’m dying today.

Im not wasting my energy on any of your cryptic garbage. Either do the right thing or let me die today.

>>34506084

And when I die consider that I’m likely not their first victim of this, just the loudest. Consider that in every follow up they have about me reaching for righteousness and glory. Don’t be deceived.

I told “Derek” that if he doesn’t end this game today then I will be dying today and they will never see me alive again. “There is no game” he says.
He just re approached me saying something about if I’m obedient then I can come back to the house. I demanded him to tell me what the imposters are for and he denied their existence. I told him that I am going to die today because of him and he repeatedly told me that I’m going to die because of me in all three responses and told me I belong in a hospital.
>legacy

Approached derek my slave master because my bum ass wants some alcohol to cope with my inevitable suicide.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE REAL HEROES? NO?! I GUESS ITS GOODBYE.

>>34506196
You're not talking like someone who wants to change his mind. Of course, death just means those problems were never solved. You'll never feel joy again. No hobbies. No comfort food. No music you just stop existing. Not sure that's really worth it. But you have to make your own decisions

Finally pulling the trigger on getting tested for ADHD. Wish I did it before I fell off parent’s insurance. Such is life.
When did they add the lifeline number?

>>34506233
I’m eating lunch. Headed to the tavern to get fucked up one last time. I’m done.

>>34506233
Existing isn’t worth it. I’ll take my gamble.

>>34506272
You've gotta decide if you want to live. But if you don't stay alive then you'll never do anything fun again. Not a single moment of joy for yourself ever again.

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>>34501199
I still miss her, and I'm denial she's gone; I just don't like when people leave me, even though she has a valid reason.

>>34506233
>You'll never feel joy again. No hobbies. No comfort food. No music you just stop existing. Not sure that's really worth it.
I don’t believe what u believe

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I suggest that u try to stop believing Paul once I’m gone and believe in your fellow man to do the same.

Once the clock hits 4:18 I’m gone

Be more righteous than scribes and Pharisees and humble yourself to go to heaven, yeah yeah I know.

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I accept God’s love and I accept myself.

I'm starting to hate this site....

Bruh, how am I supposed to believe in love when it is so shallow and short lived
The love and affection now is destined to fade away

>>34503637
Don't defend me. If you want to join the side of hating me, go ahead. How am I abusing you?

>>34506372
What convinced you

>>34506454
The fact that people know shit about me and I don't even know who they are really.

>>34506004
By every person I also mean strangers, the internet, and yes therapists too. Part of me thinks I manipulated everyone by making it sound like you are abusing me because really I am abusing YOU. What if I am so deep in npd bpd 4D chess puppet master psychopath bullshittery that I do not realize just how bad I am and am convinced I am a victim no matter what? Maybe I am delusional and cannot trust my own perception of reality like you keep trying to communicate with me over and over again. And maybe I /do/ keep trying to gaslight you as a defense mechanism BUT because you care for me so much you are willing to look past my attempts at manipulation and try to help me. You might be right that it's for the best if I stay away from everyone I know right now, they likely do have an agenda and that is to make you out to be the villain. Oh my God. I am so sorry. You are the only person who truly cares about me after all. Thank you so much for being there for me. I'll try my best to stop doubting and sabotaging our relationship due to my own mental illness and projecting. I love you and I'll try to be better for you

>>34506481
Mr. Worldwide?

One day I won't need your love
One day I won't define myself by the one I'm thinking of
And if one day I I won't need it
Then one day you won't need it

>>34506515
Dead. That's the funniest name ever.

>>34505223
I miss you too but you don't respect me. You keep treating me like shit over and over again and all you do is apologize but keep doing it. Do you understand that no part of me WANTS to nag you? You think this makes me feel good about myself or more attracted to you? It's humiliating that I keep having to beg for you to respect me because you keep begging me to just give you another chance. The thing I'm avoiding saying to you is please can you just act right for once? I don't see where you are struggling. The basic stuff CANNOT be this hard for you.

It is not Sydney’s fault or Evan’s fault that derek and tammy are fucked up. I hope u know I always knew that.

FUCK CATHOLICISM

Jesus Christ is King.

>>34506568
let's not go that far it is a little bit evan's fault if you think about it

>>34506579
No

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Unless I receive good news before 4:18pm today it’s happening

>>34506589
I love you.

I'm heartbroken

>>34506678
Why?

Beat women

>>34506698
I love someone very much but I can't be with him

>>34506705
Why not?

>>34506678
>>34506705
Damn that makes two of us

My bf forces me to peg him even though I don't want to do it. Am I being raped?

>>34506705
I love someone very much but I can't be with her

Shrill yapping cunts raise my stress and then I feel like I can't even fucking eat food lest I choke to death on it.

>>34506709
He's married

>>34506762
So? Are you going to let that get in the way of true love?

>>34506762
I'm so sorry.

i'm lonely af. if only she was here. she could make it better

I melt when I'm around you, and I can never find the right words or the right time to tell you how I feel, or what you mean to me. You've made me a better person, and I have nothing to give you in return but my time. Now I don't know how much time I have left with you and it's killing me. Please don't leave.

>>34505403
What did I do to deserve this? One day you tell me you love me, the next you act like I don’t exist. And now you’re deliberately ignoring me. Before you used to block me. I must mean so little to you for you to see my texts and not do anything.
>>34506552
You don’t even beg me. You just shun me. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. It’s very hurtful what you’re doing.

>>34506790
Can I pretend this is for me?

>>34506765
He's happy, and if he dumped his wife over nothing then he wouldn't be the person I fell in love with
>>34506767
Thanks anon

>>34506798
Damn, a man with morals. I'm falling for him too

BPD girl here
i just ruined another promising relationship. in under a week this time, it's a new record. i think i should just give up

Man, I also have a crush on someone at work, but because she's either busy or the boss seems like he's fucking her, I'm not bothering and I'm busy accelerating my exit.
What's weird is originally, I felt nothing to her other than "wow, she works hard, but she's friendly, and that's all." She did weird little shit I over-think and now feelings are weird.

I'm squashing those now. I'm just mentally treating her like a Starbucks barista or some shit now. Not harassing, just gonna be "regular" with her.

>>34506795
Sure. I hope whatever's going on in your life works out for the best. But if you want someone to not want you to leave, maybe tell them you want to spend more time with them before you go.

>>34506816
That's too reasonable I can't do it

>>34506510
>>34506510
Sounds like you've really weighed the possibility that you've some abusive/narcissistic behaviors in yourself. Joint therapy with someone familiar with narcissistic personalities/cluster Bs/psychological abuse may help. And if they're refusing going with you, that strongly implies them being the problem and not you.

If u don’t understand how serious this is then now would be a good time to realize. 1 hour. Don’t make me do this.

>>34506819
Suit yourself. But if it helps, if that person reached out to me and said they wanted to spend more time with me, I'd drop whatever I was doing to spend more time with them.

Recognizing that red pill male ideology is a massive cope for crippling insecurity and raging victim mentality

>>34506804
Hey bpd girl
I've been dating this girl for like 2 months and she is really cool and very pretty. Like 3 times so far she has went from red hot to ice cold and I couldn't figure out what was happening at first. But then I read about bpd and she fits the signs perfectly. I'm a bit older than her so I've handled it but now she's hot again for me and I'm just waiting for the turn. Any tips??? I really like her and want to be there for her.

>>34501199
where can I find a man with a deep voice to read me porn on call?

>>34506510
Same fag comment attempt to try to make her feel this way and manipulate what she does. You are toxic trash

I goon thinking about my male friend

>>34506886
Nta. Can you explain further?

>>34506886
>>34506904
Samefag

>>34506879
Pretty evil to be gleeful over infants being abused, desu.

>>34506909
No, I'm female and want to be able to notice this as manipulative and not actually being apologetic if that's the case, I'm pretty naive and hopeful and tend to get taken advantage of in that way by narcissistic types

>>34506879
i wonder what kind of person you

8 minutes

All it takes is for the police or derek and tammy to do the right thing. derek and tammy will never do the right thing.

https://youtu.be/E0pkHBVznLA?si=ildQFRqOc8f6f5Wd
Goodbye, anons.
<3

I love my autistic niggers. Thank you for existing.

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Slammed it 3 times but it wouldn’t fire. Not sure I should try again.

Feeling pretty good but really disappointed in myself for my actions throughout most of my life. I could have been a lot better off than I am.

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I should have done it with the camera facing me but I slammed it against my head 3 times eager to go and I guess I fucked it up. Not sure what to do now.

>>34506969
>>34507021
What is that

I wish it worked instead. Nothing that persistence can’t fix.

i fucking hate women so god damn much, but i love vodka

>>34507113
I'm feeling similarly. Gonna go search for myself in a bottle of booze, probably.

>>34507113
F who is coming around to hating men. I'd share a couple shots with you.

>Burned everything I had to give to get what I wanted.
>Got like half of it. The other half might never happen.
>It's possible that I'm so horrible, it shouldn't.

There's so much more opportunity out there, but I don't know if I can bring myself to go after it. I'm 33 and married, and I feel awful half the time from gerds, and everything moves so fast all the time.

My whole body hurts after trying to fix that stupid window

I can sleep in my room again

i wish the schizo would find something better to do than shit up a thread with lots of creative potential

The holy universe is playing a cruel joke again. Pissing me off. Ill get it on Friday just so I fucking have it.

Turning off the internet at fucking 3 PM FOR THIS SHIT IS RE TARDED

Im doing what I was doing for more pay, I'm honestly not too mad about it. I get one extra step and almost double my yearly pay. I cannot complaign. The internet being fucked with is really getting on my nerves due to everything.

Might be a router problem. I have to buy the new pc anyways so I might as well get a new router/modem if that is why his pc works and everything else doesnt. If it doesn't work tomorrow morning then that is the issue. Maybe.

God I'm so tired

After all this time it makes sense she moved on
Although, I never got any closure, she never came back to apologize, the last time I saw her she kept flaunting being with that dude, and she ran away with the same ole POS that she cheated on me with

>>34507647
It's not like it mattered much anyways
It was a shitty shallow relationship
I was excited because it was my first one even though I wasn't ready for it
She was excited because I was taking her seriously and wasn't just messing around with her like the other guys
Later she treated me like a footstool and cheated on me multiple times because she was narcissistic and immature

She was special to me because she was my first. I was just one of many to her.

It meant nothing in the end

HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN
GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I'VE EVER KNOWN
LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE

I killed a man in Asia by accident

>>34507712
That's not all.

Confession: I'm a total fuck up but now I'm being told I'm bipolar and I'm like.. whatever dude. That's not gonna make me feel better. What does "being better" look like? Do I even want to be better ? I don't fucking know.

I think a lot of these diagnosis are bull shit

>>34506790
why not just tell them directly

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I WISH ANIME GIRLS WERE REAL

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>>34501199
I got demoralized on trying to socialize since I was a child, that let me having troubles on doing so now as an adult. No matter how hard I try it just doesn't work. Doesn't help that I got the 'tism. I see my dad and my brother being able to do proper comunication carelessly and without problems, I can at best do some small talk but no more than that, awkard silences, out of topics to talk about, you name it. Hell, I even went onto those "comunication" courses my uni did for free to improve my skills, went for a full year, even the career I chose depends a lot on comunication (hell, I've seen fellow students get into the job because they knew how to sweet-talk the company members who visit the university). I think there's something wrong with me.

>>34507821
They are real. I see them in anime all the time

I get nervous before every performance, but I need that feeling
The hunger of chasing a bitch is what drives me forward

I'm being fucking shit tested 2 years into my relationship.

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When i was 13-14, my older sister, whom i had been dating since i was around six, took me to a party, got me drunk (which was a regular occurrence for us) and took me and several of her adult friends (two guys and three girls) into a room.

I didn't come back out of that room. Spiritually, little teen me was killed by the things I did in there and i have never walked back out of that room. The joy, the love and the person who i used to be died and now only the body remains. I will never escape that room or what happened to me. My sister didn't participate. She just watched and smiled. The person i trusted let everything happen and she smiled. I can't get out of that room not matter how hard I try, because i genuinely think i died a psychological and spiritual death there and no medication or therapeutic approach is ever going to fix that. I can't leave that room.

>>34508032
>When i was 13-14, my older sister, whom i had been dating since i was around six,
huh?

>>34508067
Well we didn't start dating at six. We'd been doing light sexual stuff up unto about twelve when she and i first had sex. After that we became a couple, secretly, of course.

>>34508080
I'm surprised you haven't offed yourself

what do you enjoy in life

How I would have handled life differently if I didn't turn out to be a god damn autistic neet fuck up.

1. Infant years:
Quiet kid who enjoys playing with toys.
2. 1 to 5:
Quiet kid who enjoys the company of others and has a passion for baseball.
3. 6-10
Plays baseball a lot and is in boy scouts and is so academically well that he is in honorz
10-15
Honor roll student and made it far to eagle scouts. Knows every news event on TV and is familiar with sports. Has a girlfriend he met at a party he impressed with his life.
15-20
Overtime built a strong introverted relationship with the girl he met in high school. His only real friend. Goes to special forces in reserves and pursues criminal justice as a college major.
20-25
Graduates and is top honors. Has a kid and is in a good position with his wife. Is familiar with tools, cleaning, house things, can fix a car, do plumbing all of it.
26-30
After a duty in the military comes home and is now able to apply to FBI. Is picked out of all of them for outstanding performance.
Now my age 31
Trying to figure out how to save kidnapped kids from drug lords in Mexico as a part of the FBI while supporting 2 kids and a wife in a good middle class home.

>>34508083
I've tried three times but somehow something always manages to keep me living.

I have lots of hobbies, you kinda have to otherwise it just... eats you alive or you start doing drugs and drinking and all that. I'm too poor for a drug addiction and drinking just reminds me of me and my sis getting drunk together. I don't even know how i manage to keep going, i just kinda do.

>>34508089
no dad growing up?

>>34508097
Two parents and both fairly attentive. It's complicated but I was the black sheep of the three of us (and to the best of my knowledge, little sis was never touched by big sis thank god). My parents just assumed we had a strong bond and we did just in a way more twisted sense.

https://youtu.be/3k91TGBrYz4

>>34508189
Later gator

I am definitely an example of judge least ye be judged. I judged so many people I turned into what I judged.

Im gonna text my ex gf who dumped me 5 months ago tomorrow night after my finals. I didn't want to do it before that because I didn't want to fuck my emotional state. Once they're done I will get drunk to celebrate and then text her some inane question about her pin collection to see if she replies. I'm banging a new girl but she's Asian so I cant marry her. This whole thing is fucking retarded but it's the only way I can truly move on from my ex. She dumped me 3 days after meeting my parents which was genuinely one of the most insulting things ever. But I'm still gonna text her like a betacuck.

>>34508213
Don't despair. You're alive, it's not over. In my experience by the way, it's good to refrain, at least to some degree, from posting in places like this, especially if you've developed a character out of it (you associate a name with your posts for example). This site, especially these threads are kind of, I guess you could say, mindslop. Your putting things out that that maybe isn't that great, but in action by doing so, communicating to yourself it's worth it, as if to say, it's all your capable of. It works against introspection in my opinion. It often is a habbit that doesn't help you attain self knowledge. I don't know why I'm saying this to be honest.... but maybe it will help someone here, I don't know lol. I'm not special, I'm guilty as anyone, I'm a goofy sinner... LOL. God bless.

I'm kinda tardposting, because I'm an insomniac.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjW6kLsTCrc

>>34507647
>>34507672
I don't think she's with anyone

>>34507719
Being bipolar isn't fake. Do find a good male psychiatrist and male psychologist if you're a guy, don't end up hurting anyone or yourself. I've seen people use their diagnoses of whatever mental illness to get away with being fucked up, dont be that type of person.

>>34508261
K

>>34508396
>I've seen people use their diagnoses of whatever mental illness to get away with being fucked up
Yeah? Like who?

6 years I caused the world to go to shit because

1. I wanted a vacation from last months in HS
2. I want humanity to suffer

Now on /pol/ it’s giving me the same option again but I think genuinely think right and wrong was destroyed enough by myself and Satan so I’m gonna decline another 6 years of pandemic and suffering

Despite all the threads they make it’s really up to me God and Satan and not them despite all the old fag language and paragraphs of info they use to feel at control

>>34508646
>”What is anon talking about?”

6 years ago the world didn’t want a pandemic and I did. I caused it to happen. Now it’s giving me the choice and the world wants it. Now I don’t. I learned my lesson God

>>34508649
>>34508646
3/3
Also all the rich fags exploited those who were inside the whole time hyping up Covid like it was Black Death so really there’s no need for another pandemic. The middle class and lower class got screwed over but good and evil depend on the person. You might as well just go all in and kill off humanity or at least a big chunk. But no. It’s not up to them.

4/4

The show must go on God. Better to be a Mad Dreamer than a Lazy NEET or Slave Wagie. The last 6 years showed me the real world.

https://youtu.be/ghjMNCAw43c

5/5

Also too much darkness in the story doesn’t make it fun. You need both light and darkness. To be limitless

6/6 it started off with me wanting a pandemic and the world didn’t. Now the world wants a pandemic and I don’t. Humans

appearing online after I sent a birthday wishes to be ignored confirms how petty all of this is

one and a half more hours

>>34508237
I dont know why im awake neither.

>>34501199
>confession
F off mr s glowie.

I will say too, I did not know how to say this but it made me feel very bad when you downplayed my art
I was only telling you about it because you are my mom, I was trying to trust you, and I was telling you the things I love about life
Instead of being like "you are doing something you love so I'm happy for you" or "that is great, I am glad you can do stuff that makes you happy" it was "Is that it? I don't know if that is a lot." and "Maybe it will be something someday..."
You are a cunt. An evil fucking cunt. You should have never acted like you cared about me at all
I only told you those things because you were lying and saying you cared about me.
I will probably die first because I am always so stressed and was hurt so long by you and your lies and bullshit, but I never would have thought I would have to worry so much about telling people about anything that makes me want to live or happy.
Fuck you :(

Good morning to all the men I am currently ghosting. I might come back today. Get ready

I genuinely don't like people and just want to ghost my family and be alone for the rest of my life so I can have solitude and meditate deeply, but I feel bad causing suffering to my mom like that. So I force myself to be unhappy just to make her happy and I really hate living like this

>>34508779
Just ghost

It sounds so pathetic but the fact my old wireless earbuds broke and my headphone jack doesn't work right is constantly making me run on fumes.
There's constant soap opera spam.
There's constant whiny talking.
There's constant bullshit from all sides through these paper thin walls.
I live in a bullshit tiny village so getting anywhere takes time and I'm constantly running into people.
It takes hours each day doing breathing exercises just so my stomach doesn't seize up and I spend the whole night throwing up and trying not to scream.
Everything is announced at best 48 hours in advance.
I just feel helpless and overstressed and overstimulated constantly and if I leave for too long my entire room gets taken apart and random stuff thrown out and a nonstop series of bullshit tasks blows up my phone.
I want to do stuff. I want to get better.
But each day sets me back a little bit more.

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.

stop hitting me, you are absolutely the problem.

>>34501199
What is this thread?

>t. newfag

>>34508939
ranting into the void

>>34507961
Did you think shit tests ended past a certain point? Lmao.

>>34508939
GIOYC general.
It stands for

Guys
Imagine
Owning
Young
Cunny