Over the past couple years ive noticed ive been having darker and darker fantasies involving women. A lot of this stems from my lack of success with them and just general problem stemming back to childhood. A lot of it is my fault ill take responsibility but lately i just feel like im not getting the respect, nor the pleasure i deserve from them. To put it lightly, i want to hurt them. I love the idea of hurting them. To me hurting a woman is hurting the very thing our society is built around preventing, it is the great taboo and for once i am the one who is in control not them. I dont have to take their disrespect or their stupid ass justifications for leaving me empty handed. This fantasy grew even more after i had sex with a hooker who had a mental breakdown during it, she didnt tell me to stop so it wasnt rape perse but feeling her cry and her hyperventilating while i had sex with her was extremely arousing and produced one of the most intense orgasms of my life. Since then i have had very strong fantasies about rape and kidnapping and assault of many kinds and just being absolutely sadistic during it. I feel like ive heard "no" too many times and was never loved my whole life so i just want to give back what they gave me. The loneliness nearly killed me multiple times. Even though its obvious it was my fault why i was alone for 10+ years now. The thing is, i used to not be like this. I used to be very romantic in my early 20s. I used to think this stuff was disgusting and awful. I want to get back to that. I dont want to be this angry incel piece of shit sex offender. I want to have a girlfriend and not think about choking her out tell she literally thinks shes about to die. Or doing some other messed up thing to her that gets me arrested. This shit isnt a game, and its not a porn edgy fantasy. For me its real, and i dont like that. I want to be able to feel love again and not sadistic fantasies when i look at a girl.
>>34504604I just accept I'm this way and girls love it so...
>>34504650The problem is girls dont love me so they wont love it from me. So all this is going to do is get me into legal trouble and also land me eventually in prison where i will be the woman. I also cant accept it because i keep getting worse year by year.
>>34504604A bunch of autists on a Mongolian basket-weaving forum are not going to be able to help you with something like this. You need to talk to a competent therapist. And you need to do it NOW - the longer you wait, the worse it's going to get.Once you've managed to stabilise things a bit, you may be able to partially express this side of yourself via BDSM, but right now that would be extremely dangerous. BDSM is absolutely dependent on everything being consensual and safe, and right now it wouldn't be either.
>>34504604>To me hurting a woman is hurting the very thing our society is built around preventing, it is the great tabooJews are a much bigger taboo. How comes that didn't cross your mind? Jewish women?
>>34505064Im not sure how to explain this to a therapist without sounding scarier than i am. I mean, i guess i am scary already, i have gone over the line with this multiple times in my life and the fantasies are getting stronger. Im just not wanting to completely ruin my life for nothing. I am also unsure of how to find a therapist who specializes in this or can help me in this. >>34505346Jews are the way they are due to them being matriarchal. Jewish behavior is what happens when you apply female baseline behavior to male instincts. You get this sneaky underhanded bullshit we see today. Also yes i would brutalize a jewish woman but it would be more because shes a woman i want to use and not because shes jewish.
>>34504763>land me eventually in prison where i will be the woman.Maybe that's what you need, man. Tyrone's third leg sausage, rock hard, in you, unprepared, bent over, trying to get back up, but being pushed back down and penetrated until you give up.Can you imagine yourself give up? Finally give up and let another man whisper things in your ear and lick it while he's slamming his meat into your guts, into your meat hole. And you are going to be gaped after he cums, he'll laugh with pleasure as he thrusts the last couple thrusts as hard as he can into you, and leave your pink hole dripping his white cum, you'll fall to your knees, your asshole clenching, your penis dripping with precum, and he'll tell you you're a good boy and that there's going to be a lot more of that soon. That you're his bitch now. And he'll wash his dick off in the sink of your cell.He'll grope you, he'll fuck you and play with your nipples, and he'll make you his own personal bitch. He'll teach you how to suck his cock, and he'll beat you. Until you understand that your only option is to try and be nice to him, and suck his dick to let it slide in easier, to ask for some fingers and preparation before. This is you, soon, this is you once you let your urges get the better of you and decide to hurt a girl. You're gonna make a big burly 130kg 67 IQ ape very happy and his balls completely empty
>>34505724Israeli or indian hands typed this shit. Like this is an advice board and you wrote a bunch of gay bbc prison erotica.
>>34505752Even a broken clock is right twice per day. That being said though, op needs a wake up call, so I hope it helps him drive towards PREVENTION of the erotica. If I had bad intents I'd tell him to go to prison, but I don't want him to hurt a girl
>>34505605>Im just not wanting to completely ruin my life for nothing.So long as that's your motivation, you're fucked. What you need to be thinking is "I don't want to be responsible for ruining someone else's life when they've done nothing to deserve it".
>>34505605>Im not sure how to explain this to a therapist without sounding scarier than i am"I have a lot of thoughts in my head. I have never acted on them, and I don't want to; but I'm worried that if I don't get some help, some day I might. I want to stop feeling like this."
>>34505769>rape is good so long as its someone who deserves it And i believe a majority of women for their bullshit deserve it. Ive had plenty of wake up calls, im just concerned for myself because i just dont seem to care and it just gets worse>>34505831I view myself as better than most if not all women and as a result they should sacrifice themselves for me not the other way around. Ive already sacrificed myself enough. Ive already gone through enough pain. But i also recognize they are viewed as Goddesses today so i really cant touch them without risking my entire ass in the most literal sense plus i do want to love them and be loved but this over arching perversion causes that to be difficult >>34505839This is a good way of saying it. I would just need to find a therapist. I remember talking to one online and they really were pushing to have me chemically castrated using some prostate cancer medication. Its funny how the only solution is to wreck my testosterone, energy and life for women who wish i was dead.
>>34505992I very much recommend not talking to a therapist, they're immediately going to see you as evil and try to ruin you if you describe your issue because as you mentioned women are seen as the sacred cow that can do no wrong
>>34504604Find one that wants to be hurt during sex. They exist. It's a fetish thing.
>>34506026>Find one that wants to be hurt during sex.That's the worst possible thing he could do. He'll end up killing someone.
>>34505992>I view myself as better than most if not all women and as a result they should sacrifice themselves for me not the other way around.You remind me of anorexic girls who say "Of course I want to get better, but only if I can stay this skinny." If you actually want to get rid of your compulsions, you are going to have to STOP thinking that you are better than women or they that they owe you anything. That's the only possible way out of this.
>>34506066Yeah exactly. Personally I want to have a woman as a free use pet. I want to control everything, and I want her to serve me as a slave. Of course that isn't possible, even for a mentally weak girl I come off as inhuman still which I guess is a good thing for them.>>34506072So I need to go back to believing they are better than me? We sure as shit aren't equals. One has to be below the other.
>>34506090Furthermore when physical contact is such a need that it's been shown to increase your life span and in general fend off depression and health issues I think women do owe me something for the fact they probably know this and sentenced the good version of me to fucking death. It's just that the law protects them so heavily. I can't do shit. Like I would probably have been a serial killer by this point if I was born thirty years earlier but with tech and everything now you'll get caught so fast. Conviction rates for rape for strangers is over 90%. So I basically just sit and fantasize but I know I literally can't do shit
>>34506116But I am also sick of being a creepy fuck due to my general hate of women but also paradoxically loneliness. Like I've had female friends who flat out will not touch me because I abused that touch so much. Or are scared to sleep in the car with me because they assume the worst. Ultimately I would love to have zero attraction to women at all since it's clear they want me completely out of the market but I don't think that's possible
Best thing in would recommend is some good therapy, conscious decision to change that you pay attention to every day, and then finding someone you can explore those things with. Had a darker side myself before that messed up a relationship pretty bad. Wife how is into some darker stuff that we get to explore in consensual ways. It’s the best of both worlds but you have to be willing to do some good work to get there.If I can you can too, just have to take those first steps
>>34504604> tl;dr I’m fat
>>34506090>So I need to go back to believing they are better than me? No. You have to believe that they are human beings with a right to self-determination. That they get to choose what does or doesn't happen to their own bodies, and that's as it should be.>We sure as shit aren't equals.Why not? >One has to be below the otherWhy? A healthy romantic relationship is a partnership between equals.
>>34508587Its less that its a fetish to me and more that its a practicality. Throughout my life ive never been able to compete for some reason, and women today are always on some bullshit. I just want to control her and make sure she cant leave and wreck the only stream of happiness ive been able to find. I never want to go back to paying $500 for human contact ever again. I want to have this problem permanently solved. And thats because i know a woman could never love me. And i struggle to be alone, so i need to do these things to be alone. >>34508659I wish, i would look normal then, no, im actually very skinny and below average in height in my area. Whats stupid is i just live in one of if not the tallest states in the entire US so at 5'10 im considered short since most genz dudes(my age group) are all over 6ft. In fact most women here are at least 5'9-5'10. Fucks me completely.
>>34508667>No. You have to believe that they are human beings with a right to self-determinationAnd that self determination usually if not always includes completely blowing me over and making sure i die alone. While usually in the process damaging themselves. No, women shouldnt be allowed to make those choices. Whenever they do they just end up picking low iq violent dudes who are also fucking losers. Especially when we are talking about someone like me, who is for the most part a normal guy, being sentenced basically to death for the crime of...idk? >Why not? Women are only equal to men because the government says so. Because theres gangs of dudes with a badge and a gun making sure if anyone tries to upset that balance they get killed or thrown in prison. In reality in most relationships ive seen theres been some sort of power inbalance, and in my case if i let a woman control things shes going to want to sleep with other guys and do a bunch of self destructive shit tell she slams not only the relationship but her own life into the dirt. In the past i treated women i nearly got involved with as equals and that happened every time. I swear its biologically impossible for them to feel empathy towards me or make long term decisions that are positive. >Why? A healthy romantic relationship is a partnership between equals.Not from what ive seen. The dudes that dont treat women as equals and command the relationship usually end up with long and successful marriages. I feel like a womans instinct is naturally towards self destruction, similar to a child. If you let that child do whatever they want, as an "equal" human its just going to go eat the soap under the sink, punch the dog and stick a fork in the outlet. Its irresponsible to let them just do anything they want in a relationship and my failed attempts to get into one in the past has shown me that. I believe what i see work.
>>34505064>You need to talk to a competent therapistNOT a female one, OP. She will report you to the police, even if you didnt do anything. Check for a male therapist, possibiliy not a femminist
>>34509146I get it, used to be the same way, except I got to the point where I actually acted on some of the more fucked up and darker stuff. And that can get pretty bad.Therapy helped, at least with having better control and the turning those more into something controllable to open up again later if wanted.It’s a process. But went from not being with anyone or totally destroying what I could have because of what it did, to getting therapy and getting that stuff settled, to now being married to the right type of woman Part of it does also sound like once you have it manageable you can find the type of woman that would work for you
>>34504604I've read everything so far and I can only say one thing: get professional help.I don't mean this with any ounce of hatred. You want to change and that's at least commendable, but you have other problems aside from a dangerous fetish. It'll be hard, it'll be akward, but you have to do it. As it stands you're a bitter guy who made women responsible for many of his shortcomings because of possible bad experiences and seeing them as lesser human beings out of resentment and anger. Nobody owes anything you complain about. Not sex, not a relationship, not devotion nor love. Respect, could be the exception at most, but even then that can be lost inmediately, and as it stands you don't manage to do that for around 50% of the world population on the basis they identify as gender #2. Again, no hatred, no disgust, just genuine advice with your problem. Seek professional psychological help.
>>34508667> 5’ 10i fucking knew it. You’re like this because you have low t genes. Shitty bloodstock. That’s why you want to lash out at women, you hilarious manlet freak.
>>34509590>She will report you to the police, even if you didnt do anything.That's illegal. She would be struck off.
>>34511047You may be conflating two different posters, there. I'm responsible for the post you're replying to, but it was someone else who mentioned being 5'10".
>>34509168If you actually want to change how you feel, you're going to have to stop hating women. There's no other way through, I'm afraid. >>34506090>Personally I want to have a woman as a free use pet. I want to control everything, and I want her to serve me as a slave. Of course that isn't possibleIt's perfectly possible. But for someone in your current state of mind, it would be extremely dangerous. BDSM, including D/s, is rooted in consent and safety. Submission is *given*, not taken. Right now you are not in a fit state to respect a submissive woman's limits and keep her safe.
>>34511752This is the faggiest form of domination ever
>>34504604>Over the past couple years ive noticed ive been having darker and darker fantasies involving womenMaybe get that checked out by a mental health professional
>>34510903I get that I probably should get checked out but I feel like I am having very logical reaction to a bullshit situation. My needs are only addressed when a woman's wants and needs are fully satisfied. It is always put at the bottom. In every interaction with women it's like this. I am the big scary monster while they need to be taken care of while they give less than nothing in return. In fact, they've shown their general hate and distain for me to the point where my "reward" is a threat. A threat that other men who they have given something to for being born a certain way(aka not fucking earned) will hurt me if I do anything. I always feel below them and it's natural to feel bitter and angry about this entire dynamic.
>>34511752I think ive explained before, its not a fetish, im not sitting here thinking about how hot it would be to do xyz. It is a means to an end, an equalizer to the retarded gender that dares to call itself god. It is the only way i can have what 90% of other guys get, regularly, and without any real effort. I can see it in how they dress, act, the jobs they have, the way they talk. I am very much entitled to a womans body, as they are too. Apparently. Yet no one complains. I am effectively a slave, who wishes to beat his master to death. A slave that wanted the rights of a free man but was told and shown for decades he will never get it. Resentment builds, and now im worried i will explode. And exploding results in prison in this situation. >>34511747The dude is larping as a woman so it makes sense that hes fucking retarded. >>34511754Agreed and defeats my entire purpose for fantasizing about it. Yes, lets put MORE power in the hands of a woman, lets give them MORE control. Lets care MORE about their emotions. They dont experience enough of that in life already.
