i decided i want to break up with my girlfriend, we've been together 4 years, we both still love each others but are fundamentaly incompatible, it's not an easy decision but i've made my choice.now the issue is timming, what's worse doing it a week before or after her birthday.either way it'll suck but i still care about her and want to make it as easy for her as possible.
>>34514570>now the issue is timming, what's worse doing it a week before or after her birthday.>either way it'll suck but i still care about her and want to make it as easy for her as possible.maybe it depends on the girl, but i think it would hurt her less if you broke up several days AFTER her birthday
>>34514597i'd not do it too close to it, so i can wait a week after it.but i've read conflicting opinions on the matter, some say that it's not nice to pretend all is well for 2 weeks and that i should let her use her birthday to see friends family to move on more easily etc.others says i should do it after so she's not sad during her birthday, honestly i don't know which is worse.i just wish the best for her and i know she's gonna be devastated either way.
>>34514570>fundamentaly incompatible, it's not an easy decision but i've made my choicethe way I did it is make her believe that she came up with the choice to break up. I stooped to a low level I never wanted to- but it works.>how?be a simp. Be the super caring, attentive and be insatiable towards her. Women hate clingy and lovey dovey guys. She'll lose interest and will feel she can find a "tougher" guy somewhere else. That way she thinks she broke up with you. Its less painful for her this way- to think you became a pussy and for her to move on is a better choice. I never want to break a girl's heart. I'm too nice
>>34514959yea that's not a solution i like.>be a simp. Be the super caring, attentive and be insatiable towards herone of the reason i want to break up is that she requires more attention than i'm capable of giving, no amount is ever enough, and i've been sacrificing myself and my health to try to give her the attention she wants but it has been too draining.another issue is lack of intellectual exchange and also disagreements in how we'd like to raise kids.anyway, i could go as low as i want she would never ever break up with me, and i don't want to waste more of either of us's time.
>>34514570This anon >>34514959 is tripping. Better to save your own dignity and just do it the normal way, being clean and straight about it, like you intended to do.It might be possible that breaking up before the birthday will give her enough time to heal and get over it, assuming she has good support from friends and family, but it depends on her support structure and her own personality.Maybe the ideal thing would be to do what >>34514597 suggested and just do it several days later, but if you feel like you're being dishonest, do what you judge to be best.It's your call at the end of the day. Whatever the time you choose, try to be as nice as possible to her, say it isn't her fault, that sort of thing. Might make it less painful.
>>34514570>4 years>Still love each other>I'm breaking up!Lol, see you in half a year when you are moping and crying about regret and how you can't stand to see the fact she has a new boyfriend.
>>34514570>fundamentaly incompatibleHow so?If you're 100% about breaking up, do it today.
>>34514959Dumping is always Better than being dumped. OP's reputation among women he know will be improved when they will learn he dumped his GF. Its a proofs hes not a disperate simp
>>34514570I'm going to ignore whatever it is the other anons said, and just tell you do it before.You'll have to play pretend and it's mentally taxing, she could find out and it's not gonna be easy for her either way, assuming she truly, geniuenly loves you. If you do it before she might be able to celebrate her birthday with friends and feel a bit better, too. She's gonna be upset about it either way. If you can actually do it before a week until her birthday, I'd say that's better assuming you wholeheartedly won't change your mind.
my ex left me a week before my birthday. At the time it stung really badly, to put it mildly. But in the long run it didnt really matter, and honestly it helps me remember what a piece of shit she really was to do that.
>>34515526Did she really break up with you? But why?
>>34515553>At the time it stung really badlyShe was a bee. It wasn't meat to bee.
Some people will tell you to break up before her birthday, others will say after. I'd say, break up with her in her birthday. This way, she will always remember you.
>>34514959Terrible advice, you're a wimp.
bro just break up with her what does it care to you if its before or after her fuckin birthday lmfaoget a fucking spine faggot, stop being so empathetic, its a useless emotion
>>34514959You just listed all the ways my gf loves me and only wants more of. You don't understand how a healthy relationship works. Being loving like this shows her how she's my girl, I'm her man. I know for a fact I'm tough, manly. You seem to want and project lack. That's not attractive.
>>34514998yea i know, as i said >>34514975>>34515293i got many other prospects and chicks that are into me, one of which i kind of have a crush on desu but that's a separate issue.yes i'd miss her, but as i said, fundamental compatibility issues.>>34515332>How so?1. as stated, she needs more attention than i can give to be happy, i'm a very independant person that needs a lot of time for himself, and she doesn't have much going on for herself so all her free time she wants to spend with me.2. i want to homeschool kids, she want to send them to school3. i can't exchange with her on a intelectual level, she's not curious at all too, i know some other girls i can have such exchanges with.and there are few other things but i don't want to explain the whole context around it.>>34515508well i kinda spilled the beans yesterday, we both wept, laughed and cried again.anyway, i'm still a bit hesitant because i do love her, she knows it, didn't expect to cry as much so i did tell her i need a bit more time to choose.anyway she wants me to take a whole month to decide and we agreed on that, she says that even if i go away she'll be glad she got to spend one more month with me.she said she's willing to homeschool kids in the future, but at the same time i don't want her to change herself or do things that wouldn't make her happy just to keep me.anyway this isn't easy on me either because you don't often find someone that loves you as much and she does have a lot of good qualities as well.>>34516200lol>>34516233have you ever loved someone anon?>>34517346same, terrible advice he gave lol
