My friend says I need to tell my boyfriend I'm pregnant because she says it's the right thing to do since it would be his child.My mom told me that I have to think about my future, and that I would need to quit college if I have a baby...so she wants me to abort it.I have a strong feeling my bf would want to do the traditional get married and try to be good parents thing. He comes from a family with that idea of honor.I like being with him enough that I'd be happy with that, mostly, but he's been ignoring me to play video games so much the past two months. He'll play them for hours when he gets home, and he'll only spend 15 minutes with me before bed. I tried to play the games with him at first, but they were these weird army games I didn't really get. Sex was the only thing that would get him away from the games so that's kinda how I got pregnant since we were doing it more often. I've started feeling like the games are more important to him than I am though, and I've been second guessing our relationship while hoping he would get tired of the game and start making more time to spend with me again.I'm trying to decide what to do about this. If I tell my bf, I don't know if I want my future to be getting ignored for his games while raising his baby. If he ever finds out about an abortion though, I think that would be the end of the relationship too. But if I get the abortion, I would be able to finish off my degree and finish college with my mom's support.
>>34514961Being pregnant and having a kid does not make it impossible for you to continue your studies. There were plenty of women who were either pregnant or with babies/toddlers back in college.I don't think it is fair to abort the baby. You boyfriend is the father, and he deserves to know. He will absolutely resent you if you do, and for good reason.Also just as important, just talk to him. Tell him that you miss him and want to spend more time with him. Tell him that you are feeling lonely. Don't listen to your mother. She will likely help you in taking care of the child, if she truly cares about you, and I believe she does.
>>34514961>My mom told me that I have to think about my future, and that I would need to quit college if I have a baby...based on what exactly?
>>34514961Pregnancy vs education is a holdover from dumbass poorshit culture where the woman was demeaned for making a "mistake" that compelled switching families. Feminists didn't grow out of that thought, they just offered killing the baby as the solution because directly affecting a poor shithole's culture was beyond their agency. Your mother is that kind of dumbass feminist. The obvious solution is to have the baby, nurture him for 2 years, go back to college to continue your degree or choose a new one, and keep providing for him as time goes by. There are aid programs for that kind of situation in countless institutions and you can request some to be arranged if an institution doesn't announce it. Such institutions can be Feminist NGOs, Catholic NGOs, Education NGOs, Poverty NGOs, Embassies, Goodwill rich clubs like Rotary or Shriners, or government programmes. It's literally free money and you're a lazy piece of shit if you don't ask in the least.Stop being guilted into thinking 20 is too young to be a mother, or that you must be rich or some shit before being a parent. I fucking hate my parents for not snapping me out of that childish mindset, which they shared, now i wonder whether i will get a girlfriend i genuinely love at 32, or if i would be able to see my grandkids unlike my dad who died already, or if I'm just gonna be a cautionary tale for people i don't care about.Love your child, love your life.
air tags exist now. you can literally just leave the baby in the student union while you go to class for an hour. nothing will happen
>the games are more important to him than I amHE is more important than you'll ever be. Honestly, whatever makes him happy will always be more important than his own son. Keep that in mind whatever you choose.
>>34514982>>34515004I'm only able to afford college because of financial support from my mom. She is going to withdraw that support from college if I have the baby, and use it to help us get baby stuff. But she says I'll be giving up my future if I do that.>>34515046I can't raise a baby alone is the worrying part. There's a chance still of what if I talk to my bf and he doesn't want to get married? I can't have the baby if we're not getting married.
>>34515046The problem is that pregnancy vs education isn't a childish mindset. Its the mature one.The childish way of approaching the problem is to say that nothing but you really matters. You're going to go against your parents to raise a kid with someone they hate. Your community will look down on you for not doing whatever they project. God will deem you worthy of hell. Worse of all, your relationship sucks in at least one major aspect. Your kid wouldn't grow up in as stable environment as you can make.None of that really matters because you're getting a child's approach and everything will be fine in the face of evidence. A fantastic set of rules logic created rewards the subservient but reality favor high risk/high reward.
>>34515076>The problem is that pregnancy vs education isn't a childish mindset. Its the mature one.not at this point. The mature one would be be the one that didn't arrive at an out of wedlock pregnancy. But thats the tale since the industrial revolution....
Do not have a baby with someone who barely even likes you. He enjoys playing games more than being with you; he cares about sex, not your company. Whether you break up with him or not, if you have his baby you are going to be saddled with him for the rest of your life. Will he pay child support? Will he be a responsible dad? Will he be a burden you have to deal with until the kid is 18?Am abortion now does not mean you can never be a mom. Be a mom at the right time, with the right person.
>Nooooo I NEED to be a wagie I will never understand womens obsession with "careers"
If you keep it, you have to tell him.
>>34515073>I'll be giving up my future if I do that.You won't. You can do this. Talk to your boyfriend, let him know. His family is likely to support you both as well, so it won't be just your mom.Don't give up anon, this child can bring great joy to you and to others. Careers are good and all, but there is more to life.
>>34514961 2 good options for you >get the abortion, don't tell anyone who doesn't know already This lets you keep having your life without unneccessary conflict. >keep the baby, tell everyone Now you're fulfilling the female role or whatever, but also your may be not financially successful and the relationship with the guy may fail anyway. In this scenario you should still be able to finish your degree somehow though. It's not that hard.
>>34514961Get the abortion, tell the friend it was a miscarriage, breakup with your boyfriend.
>>34514961You have 3 separate issues here:1. Should you tell him you're pregnant?2. What to do about the baby3. What to do with him (i.e., marry?)The answer to the first is definitely Yes. He gets a vote here - not the deciding vote, but one you have to consider when making your decision. And that will somewhat affect the other two, because how he takes the news will clarify your choices
>>34514961
>>34514961>Isnt Happy with something her man is doing>Keep it a secret and pretend its all fine for months instead of just telling him what the problem isI swear like half of the relationships problems are caused by women and their absolutely refusal to speak openly about perceived issuesAnyway, all life is sacred and all board of 4chan share a stigma against abortion. Tell your BF, keep the baby, tell your mom you can continue study anyway if she will do her grandma's job in keeping the baby while you go to college classes. Also use the opportunity of the pregnancy reveal to tell your BF that now that you are parents you will expect him to evolve into a more present and focused man for both you and your children. A positive motivation to push someone into improving is always more effettive than direct whining
>>34515073>I'm only able to afford college because of financial support from my mom. She is going to withdraw that support from college if I have the baby, and use it to help us get baby stuff. But she says I'll be giving up my future if I do that.Shes a bad mother then. She should support you regardless. Where the fuck is your dad?
>>34515369Of course manchildren who live at home would think they are entitled to free childcare from their mommies >>34515371>Where the fuck is your dad?It's very common for men to abandon their children which is exactly why you should never have a baby with someone who shows signs of being irresponsible or detached.
>>34514961Forget about what your boyfriend wants. Forget about what your mother wants. Neither of their opinions matters in the slightest. There will be an endless stream of moralfags in this thread drooling and bleating that "abortion is wrong"; ignore them even more. What matters is, do you want to be pregnant right now? That is the only question that is relevant. If you don't want to be pregnant, have the abortion. If you want to be pregnant and have the child, then have it. It's your decision and yours alone. If you decide to have the child, a separate decision is, do you tell your boyfriend that you're pregnant, or do you break up with him and raise it yourself?If you do have it aborted then you gain nothing by telling your boyfriend.The one thing I will say is that your boyfriend is a loser who doesn't care about you at all. He would make a shitty husband and an even worse father. Even if you keep the baby you should seriously consider breaking up with him and not telling him you're pregnant.So, it's your call. What do *you* want to do?
>>34514961>My mom wants me to abort it.Your mom is a degenerate whore that would have killed you if it meant getting a better life for herself.>My friend says I need to tell my boyfriend I'm pregnant because she says it's the right thing to do since it would be his child.Your friend is right and based.If you don't want the children, just let another person adopt it, there's plenty of barren women wanting to raise children. This probably will be you in a few years if you follow your mom's advice though, so keep that in mind.
>>34515700>Forget about what your boyfriend wantsKYS, you'll do a favor for humanity, despicable people like you are why the world is evil. You're a waste of space.
>>34515073>I'm only able to afford college because of financial support from my mom>She is going to withdraw that support from college if I have the baby
>>34515681
>>34514961Abortion is your only option if you don't want to end up in an abusive and neglect filled marriage for the rest of your life. That baby is going to anchor you into misery if you keep it.
>>34514961i get the feeling that your boyfriend will shape the fuck up fast once he realizes that he's a dad, video games be damned. Talk to him, be open and honest, maybe even show him this thread and see what he thinks.
>>34515073you should realize that you're posting on 4chan, which is infested with right wing incels, and that is the caliber of advice that you will recieve. That being said, as a right wing incel myself, your mom sounds like a cunt. you should tell her to just give you what money she's comfortable with and decide how it will be spent by yourself, or with your man assuming he sticks around. it shouldn't be up to her to decide how it's spent, it's your life after all.
>>34515726Genuinely what the fuck is wrong with boomers. You can do both. Have the child and do college. It's The unnecessary creation of conflict or decision where there's none instead of guiding the child through.>>34514961You need to talk not only to your boyfriend but his family too, but the boyfriend breaks the topic to his family and then you become part of the Conversation. Second you need to emphasise to him that his youth is not an excuse for acting immature, that you're "scared" and need him. Something along this lines would also gauge his reaction. If it does hit him, he'll man up quick, these things do happen internally like a miracle. He'll take his life seriously enough and gauge his options on how to give both of you a good life. If his reaction is still immature then you need to, sadly, breakup. The point of being in a relationship is lost if his reaction is non chalant and he thinks that his youth is an excuse to not do anything because he has so much yet to experience. Then you'll have to relay to his family and then they'll harass him to man up, but this is no good as he'll despise you for making a manchild to man up. But lastly I'll tell you this. Sometimes in a relationship, the woman or the man takes up the lead for the better of the relationship, to avoid doing things they may regret later, or would have done if not stuck in a mindset that years later they regret. You clearly know what you want, you want him to man up and take charge of you and the baby but he isn't doing it yet. I hope you can pull off some drama, you show your vulnerable and need him and can't do it alone like in the shows(mind you this might come off as manipulative but we do things for the good here so it's excuse, also you get to gauge his reaction, so don't get attached to the outcome) where he comes off of his self centered reaction.Then if you want to keep the child, look up state resources that may help girls in your situation.Do not get into a fight.
Abortion NOW especially if he is black
>>34515721I always see this delusional prolifer in every thread where abortion is mentioned. Someone give this guy meds. >>34514961Most of the anons who've responded to this thread are downplaying the struggles that comes with parenting. Going to school while simultaneously raising an infant that demands constant attention is far from an easy task. While I'm not necessarily for abortion myself, you need to consider every possible outcome. The reality is that you need a stable income and relationship in order to raise children. Choosing the wrong partner will leave some damaging psychological scars onto your future child. I'm not saying you should get the abortion, but please assess your circumstances before committing to a decision. Ultimately, the choice is for yours to make, and you shouldn't feel pressured into getting an abortion or keeping the child. Choose what you think is right for your future.
