I finally found out I probably hate myself.Even if a girl were interested in me, I would ask myself whether I would end up hurting her, whether I would be good enough for her, whether I would tire of her. If I receive compliments I don't believe them, or I get flustered and have no idea if I should feel happy or bothered. I never feel like I am enough.I have come to hate having the conditions that made me, I wouldn't prescribe my life to anyone. I don't even know what I want out of life because at some point I was telling myself wanting things was gay, shameful or that sort of thing.I don't know what to do. I'm just a selfish kid wanting to squeeze women's tits. I hate not being some virtuous fuck content with burdening himself with people's suffering. I'm just some lazy pervert at this point. I seriously have no idea what I am supposed to be.
>>34516271>I don't know what to do. I'm just a selfish kid wanting to squeeze women's tits. t. Denji from Chainsaw ManHonestly OP, I understand. It'll be an uphill battle but you have to find things you like about yourself slowly, but it'll be hard alone. Best solution is to have people around you that can tell you.Friends praise you? Good, nobody wants an asshole around, means you must be something right?You end up alone? Back to the drawing board, maybe there's some things you can fix. Good luck, anon.
>>34516276Lel. I guess chainsaw man isn't that bad after all.Sure, having friends means something, but I have always thought that something is called being "the fixer". Whatever I guess you're right, some shit will come up at some point. It just doesn't sit well with me to think my experience is expendable, that anyone else can replace it with somebody else, which ends up being the case if I don't keep checking in on people I know.
>>34516338I want to clarify, I mentioned friends not as an inherent solution, but as something that can help you work towards that.Due to life being life, I've been in positions where I was given a compliment and I had no other option to accept it.Essentially, if one person tells you you're very good at playing guitar, you'll take it as kindness or an exaggeration. If two people say it, could be a coincidence, but I'd say it'd be an undeniable fact if 30 people have seen you play and those 30 people have told you such thing. >my experience is expendableWell, that's hard to say, I guess that in a way there are a lot of people that have traits that apply to you, but none in the unique combination you do, with the past you have, having lead the life you've lead so far. I may be projecting here, as I struggle with the same issue as you do to some degree, but I guess if people tell you something nice, you'll have to believe it upfront instead of going through mental hoops that tell you it is an exaggeration, or kindness or something else.
