>>34516632
You're my little bastard, anon ;^)

>>34516632
Jokes aside, I have blood between my father an me. I have cut him off of my life a few years after my parents' divorce. Are you an actual bastardized child or what has happened between your father and you? Maybe I can be of help somehow.

>>34516645
>I have blood between my father an me
>bad blood*
sorry

>>34516645
My father left my mother during pregnancy, so I grew up without ever seeing him until the age of 25 where he phone called me, tried to form a relationship with me but it didn't work out.

I would not reach out to him now, he has not spoken to me in 3 years. It is very evident he does not care about me, tried to care, but realised it was more effort than it is worth and somehow felt that despite still being my biological father, he can simply not care.

>>34516667
>My father left my mother during pregnancy, so I grew up without ever seeing him until the age of 25 where he phone called me, tried to form a relationship with me but it didn't work out.
He probably thought it was a good idea to wait till you grew up, so he wouldn't have to expend a single dime, time, and effort into raising you, and he thought he could reap all the efforts of your mom sweating her ass off to raise you.

You have some issues buddy, you shouldn't feel discomfort with the word bastard, it's not your fault your father is an asshole, and bastard is a word being used everywhere, you should be actually proud you've beat the statistics.

>>34516667
You should get your father's email just so you can tell him how much you fucking hate him in detail

It's not your fault he left, you should not carry with the weight of it as, >>34516686 said. You're gonna have to try and move on from him though, but it'll be hard as his absence is a very big part of your life, in a way, but it is possible.

Or maybe just make a banger rap music career with it idk. But you also have to be bisexual and into white boys.

>>34516686

>should be actually proud you've beat the statistics.
Well to start, from one fatherless son to another, it literally doesn't matter, my father is dead to me.

I do feel proud that I have the same rights as other people, as if other people would ever be able to deal with being raised fatherless like I have.

It's still an insensitive word to use though. Imagine if I started using the word "wife beater" to describe a white vest, and I kept on using it constantly, anybody with a shred of self respect can realise that eventually, i'd say it to an actual sufferer of domestic abuse.

The same goes for the word bastard, people think its just a word, no its a derogatory term to describe a fatherless child.

>>34516710
>You should get your father's email just so you can tell him how much you fucking hate him in detail

I personally feel like he should be made to grow up without his own father, then he can tell me what that felt like in a world of fathered boys. He doesn't make me angry.

>>34516721
People often use expressions such as "bloody bastard," "little bastard," or "poor bastard." I have always found a strange fondness for them, for two reasons above all. First, time has dulled much of the venom the word once carried, stripping it of some of its old cruelty. Second, it serves as a reminder of what would have become of bastards like us had we been born three centuries ago. We would have been treated worse than servants, denied inheritance, shunned, ostracized, and cast beyond the margins of society. I would rather people not forget that history. Too many bastards suffered and died beneath that stigma for the world to pretend it was never there. Remember, OP: words possess only the power we permit them to hold.

I think you should do as >>34516710 suggested and send an email to your father, opening up your chest and laying bare what you have carried inside for so long. There is power in unburdening your chest and saying what must be said, especially when silence has weighed on you for years. But be careful with your words. Speak plainly, even sharply if you must, yet avoid unnecessary insults or excessive profanity, particularly if there is any chance he may try to use your message against you legally. Truth can cut deeply enough on its own without giving anyone ammunition to dismiss it.

>>34516739
I'm sorry Anon, that part was not genuine advice. It's just a reference to a song named Bastard, the thing at the end also.

>>34516773
>I'm sorry Anon, that part was not genuine advice. It's just a reference to a song named Bastard, the thing at the end also.
I'm not OP, but even though it's a reference to a song, I think it's a useful advice as crazy as it may sound.

>>34516721
I heard the word bastard long before I knew that it had a particular meaning. It just seemed like a swear word to call someone. It's kind of like "bitch" has a number of connotations.
>Female dog
>Bitch in heat (aka slut, this is what the word means in Japan)
>Annoying nag of a woman
>Rude woman
>To complain (when used as a verb)
>Wimpy, whiny guy (aka little bitch)
And sometimes it's just used as a generic female equivalent to bastard, where it's just a name.

Think about when you call someone a fucker. You are not calling them someone who has sex. You probably aren't even thinking about that. You're saying a hard-sounding word as an insult. When you're calling someone an asshole, you aren't directly thinking about the anus, its smell, or its role. You're calling them a more vulgar word for a self-centered jerk.

Similarly, if a child says "darn", they are not necessarily thinking about it as a replacement for the word damn, even if it's being used the same way, as a way of expressing frustration. They are not thinking about God issuing damnation on something based on your frustration, and are thus not using his name in vain or whatever else some overzealous fundamentalist might think when they hear a child say "darn". The issue is that because you have a complex regarding your father, the word "bastard" can only mean one thing. It's a reminder to you because your father lacking presence was an omnipresent in your life. It was a rejection of you from conception, and a continuous rejection that continued for a quarter of a century until he finally felt in the mood to try and connect with you after all the hardships you faced without him. He wanted the relationship fatherhood brings without ever having to make any of the sacrifices or take on any of the responsibilities.

Any man can pump and dump, but it takes years of love, presence, provisions, teaching, and experiences to be a father.

bloody bitch benchod basterd i fuck you bloody

>>34516759
The issue is that up until age 25, none of this affected me. I was by all accounts headed towards a very easy, direct route towards a normal life, the issue of my father seemed like just something that happened between my parents before I was born, so it had nothing to do with me.

Once I actually met my father, it was like the problem had been put in front of everything, like anything in life, even going to the bank to cash a cheque, the bank clerk is now looking at me as a fatherless person. If I go to buy a loaf of bread, the people with loving parents are sticking out like a sore thumb, I am in a world where man A is born with everything, man B is born with nothing.

I intend to do something about it, do not worry, but it will not involve my father, he lost that privilege when he walked out on me.

>>34516864
Very poetic and 100% accurate.

>>34516759
>>34516890
I just want to re-iterate man, this stuff sucks for me to talk about.

>>34516890
It's weird how this would trigger you to feel this way. I don't think the vast majority of people think or care about another person's parentage. The number of divorced parents out there is pretty significant, it's not even worth thinking about. My parents divorced last year. My dad isn't a bad person, but he's not a great role model as a father, and I'm trying to unlearn a lot of terrible habits and personality traits that I picked up because that was normal in my household. Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I would have been with a strong male role model in my life instead, someone who was proactive, had an IQ above 80, and didn't whine for his wife to cook him food and wasn't looking for another mother to baby and spoil him all while he indulged in bad habits while having the excuse of "Oh, only you care that I'm watching porn in the living room while people are over, it's your problem".

But your father in your scenario is literally just some random guy off the street you had never met before. The only thing he gave you is genetic material, your neighbor growing up qualifies more as what makes a father because at least you saw them from time to time. But nobody is thinking about your father, nobody is judging you for it, and nobody really cares because if Rhonda behind the retail counter really wanted to care and think about every person with an absent father that goes through her till, she would be asking. She has no greater knowledge about your circumstances, and at the very most, if you were friends, she would want to provide sympathy to help you get past it, because that's what it is, something to get past so you can continue living your life. She wouldn't be stewing over it or letting it define her perception of you. And you have every right to feel upset at this guy who was absent from your life, but don't let that resentment carry over to random unrelated people that have their own lives to worry about and couldn't care less about this.

>>34516972
>your neighbor growing up qualifies more as what makes a father because at least you saw them from time to time.

You are right to be fair, that is really something I could take to the grave with me in terms of motivation.

I'm going to stop checking the thread but I take to memory everything said, thank you.