I'm not quite sure how to start this thread, and I apologize in advance for how lengthy it will be but I'm at a loss genuinely and i'm hoping 4chan will care enough to give me any kind of answer since i have no one else to talk with. I am 20, I'm in a nice university studying pharmacy, and I ended up meeting a cool girl two years younger than me in my class. I hang out with her a lot, i'd go as far as to say she's probably my only actual friend in uni, and she doesn't really have any other friends than me since we spend most of our time with each other. Ever since we met each other, I was always playing with her nails and hair, joking, teasing, slowly escalating and I guess flirting basically and she always reciprocated or let me do it and enjoyed it. Yesterday I ended up having a heart to heart with her with no filters about life, my feelings, and hers. Basically I told her i liked her and wanted to date, and she told me she figured as much a while ago but that she didn't want to date right now before going on a pretty /r9k/ tangent on how relationships nowadays don't last and that everyone cheats or that guys are just trying to fuck her because she's a virgin and so on. I questioned her why she was so affectionate with me and let me escalate if that was the case, and she said she was just being polite, which hurt me a lot. When I pressured her about if she was polite like that with every guy, she stuttered out a no. I told her I was ambitious and that I wouldn't settle for being her friend and asked if I, my actions, and my intentions bothered her, and she said no. She asked me if I wanted her to stop talking to me over this and I said no. The conversation ended with me patting her head and telling her not to forget that if she wants to keep in touch with me, I'll always have the intention of dating her, to which she forced out a chuckle and said ok.I'm decently sure it's noticeable that i'm a sperg with little dating experience so what do?
>>34518403>I'm decently sure it's noticeable that i'm a sperg with little dating experience so what do?You did the right thing, not only that, you should keep insisting. Not as a simp, but as Chad would. It's one of those cases in which a no means yes. I know, it may sound weird, but most guys are waiting for the girl to give them a chance, they give them too much space, and things get cold. Most guys I know that had ANY sort of relationship kept insisting till it worked, that's what courting a woman is like, you have to insist it.
>>34518423>You should keep insisting. Not as a simpThat is the current plan but i guess i'm just genuinely lost to what is going on in her head. I asked her what i was to her and she couldn't give me a answer which kind of stung. Even if i wanted to give up i can't since a few of our classmates started joking around about me and her and whistling when i'm walking with her or hanging out. The only reason i'm still hopeful is because another guy tried to ask her out a few days ago and she just kinda ignored him after rejecting him and she hasn't done that with me yet. What constitutes a simp anon? she doesn't really use me for cash or stuff, the little things i have given or done for her was out of my own volition and nothing expensive.
>>34518403Not an expert on dating or women, but I've been told I can be wise with people and emotions. Having said that, for the love of fuck do NOT listen to >>34518423Sadly, you already sperged out, you put too much pressure on her. You could've been way worse, though, that's for sure. The main issue I see is>I won't settle with being her friend.If she rejected you, that's what you have to do, especially since she gets to choose if she wants to date you or not. Insisting that you have the intention of dating her is not the best step, either, but as I said, you could've done WAY worse, this was bad, but not that bad. As it stands you asked, and her answer was no. If it was no, it was for a reason. If she backpedals later on for whatever circumstance and you reciprocate, then lucky you. If she expects you to insist after she told you "no" then she just craves attention in a twisted way. I will say though, I would be wary of her (not due to malice, mind you, just that maybe she's not fully there yet). She reciprocated in order to be polite and then went on a tangent against her partaking in dating. Intentionally or not, a lot of people would've felt led on by her actions, especially since she admitted herself she figured you liked her. I'm not saying she is evil, as I don't know her, but I do see such thing as being irresponsible with somebody else's emotions, perhaps she lacks experience, perhaps she is not the brightest, but to me it doesn't sound right.
>>34518438I mean, i'm decently sure she is a little off in the head regards dating, i'm not gonna specify much but she has quite a few problems with that kinda thing. I wouldn't say she is leading me on since she has been upfront about her stance on dating for now but at the same time what she does and says is very contradictory which is why i'm even in this situation.>If she rejected youI think that's the fucking problem, i'm not sure i was rejected? I really tried to get a yes or no thing from her like when she rejected another classmate but she just wouldn't give me a answer, i asked if there was a world if i changed her mind about dating and she just went silent and stared at the ground.
>>34518451>i'm not sure i was rejectedFor all practical purposes, you WERE rejected. She said "no" to the other guy because he wasn't her friend. You are, so she was less direct, but she still set a boundary. You can push it further to get an explicit rejection, but you will only make it weird.
>>34518403OP, do not listen to this person >>34518438It's either an incel or a woman, and you know the saying, never ask how to get a Ferrari from someone driving a Corolla, and never ask a fish how to fish.>the little things i have given or done for her was out of my own volition and nothing expensive.Don't give her anything, you don't need to give women things to be able to fuck them. If you give her stuff, you're just her paypig.>What constitutes a simp anon?A guy with no will of his own, that will do anything to please a woman, give them money, gifts, and his time, thus, women walk all over him. That's what a simp is, as long as you know what you want, and you won't let her will or the will of others prevail yours, the chances of being an orbiter or a simp get very slim.>>34518438>>I won't settle with being her friend.>If she rejected you, that's what you have to doNo, it's not. I was rejected before, and I insisted and things just worked out. You're an idiot, you're literally telling OP to be an orbiter, no worst advice than that.OP, I repeat, do not listen to this person. If this woman didn't want anything to do with you, she would've cut you off. She obviously is interested in you, but she is uncertain of a relationship. You should proceed with caution and try to escalate things slowly, don't mention wanting to be in a relationship with her for now. You already did the right thing by declaring your intention and she didn't reject you, what you have to do now is to slowly escalate things, get touchy with her, try to go out with her even if as friends, to watch movies, to do things together, and if the right vibe arrives, you can just try to escalate and kiss her. How? Just get your mouth close to hers if the vibe is right, very close, and let her do the rest. This has worked for me so far, women will just instinctively kiss you if they're horny, lol.
>>34518403>I questioned her why she was so affectionate with me and let me escalate if that was the case, and she said she was just being polite, which hurt me a lot.I think it's always an issue with that situation that women are affectionate with guy friends and it doesn't mean anything sexual for them, while it does mean a lot for guys. I've had to learn that lesson too.>I'm decently sure it's noticeable that i'm a sperg with little dating experience so what do?get more experience, doesn't really matter if you fail sometimes. But what happens now? It's at least good that you didn't pretend to stay "friends", but the situation might become too awkward for her because it was too much pressure. I kinda think it's useless to tell you specifically what to do, apart from not doing stuff like asking her to marry you. I feel like she'll keep talking to you, but you'll see if it's out of politeness or if she's still interested.
>>34518480>>34518438Just let OP decide which advice he trusts more, you dumb faggots.
>>34518470>t.
>>34518470From what i know of her she would just have told me to fuck off honestly, i'm not the first guy friend that was into her. I would honestly rather a rejection so i can cut her off and smother my feelings than whatever the fuck this is, going "I don't want to date" while staring at me and giggling about how she doesn't want a boyfriend with a female classmate isn't well, very easy for me to read. Spamming my phone with heart stickers or dumb shit during class and getting scolded by the professor for "flirting with me too loud" and letting me escalate physical contact into touching areas no friend would even if it isn't sexual contact per se isn't any easier either. I don't want to make her uncomfortable but i think it's unfair for me to not get an actual answer so i can move on with my life.
>>34518486>t.
>>34518480>It's either an incel or a woman, and you know the saying, never ask how to get a Ferrari from someone driving a Corolla, and never ask a fish how to fish.I don't plan to immediately diverge my plans based on whatever answers come from here regardless of whom they come from, i am my own man and speak for my own actions, i'm just very confused and hoping people wiser than me can shed me light on this situation.>That's what a simp is, as long as you know what you wantI am aware of what i want and i don't plan on sticking around as a emotional support friend if i'm unable to date her. It's not that i'm trying to fuck her but i like her as a woman and i would like to spend more time with her in ways a friend can't.>you can just try to escalate and kiss her. How? Just get your mouth close to hers if the vibe is rightI think she would hit me with a chair if i did that right now though we're often within kissing distance lol. Thanks for the advice though, maybe in the future if this survives this rough stretch.
>>34518481>the situation might become too awkward for her because it was too much pressure.I honestly doubt it, i have a pseudo date with her on the 19th,20th and 21th for university stuff. She invited me before the conversation but didn't rescind the invitation after it.I do plan on getting more dating experience but i would rather not do anything romantical with anyone i do not love.Thanks for the help anon.
>>34518504You're literally the smug basedjack and you just proved my point, lmao
>>34518508>I think she would hit me with a chair if i did that right now though we're often within kissing distance lolAs I said, you have to pass time with her bro, how can you jump in a relationship with someone you never even went on a date? We're not in the 8th century. We're in the 21st century, you have to adapt to it. Maybe it's because you're a sperg. Women will fuck first and marry later. Not the other way around. Do you want to be one of these guys locked up in their room jerking off thinking a girlfriend women will suddenly fall on their lap? That's not how it works. As I said, you have the advantage, you already know her, you're already close with her, now the next step is getting even closer, you have to ask her on dates, and take advantage of this friendship you have with her, AND THEN you will try to kiss her on one of these dates.
>>34518565>womenWell, ignore this word here, I had deleted and rewritten the sentence again, and forgot to delete this.
>>34518565I mean, that's kind of the whole plan. She's demolished quite a few guys for trying to sleep with her, has never dated and apparently never had sex so i'm not sure the fuck first marry later applies to her. Regardless, i like her, i'm interested in her, i plan to escalate, told her as much and said she should cut me off if she wasn't comfortable with it and somehow she hasn't so i'm hoping this is good. I have little interest in casual sex so it's not like it's a negative to wait for me either.
>>34518550>t.
>>34518584>t.
>>34518579>i'm not sure the fuck first marry later applies to herIt applies to every fucking women. I'll tell you, there wasn't a single virgin I couldn't fuck. But it doesn't matter, you won't marry her without having ever gone on a date with her and kissing her. So just do as I said. Do you want to go on dates with her? Do you want to kiss her? Do you want to hold her hands? That's the next step. Then you can decide if you'll marry her first and then fuck her or the other way around.
>>34518591>i have a pseudo date with her on the 19th,20th and 21th for university stuffLike i said, that's the plan. Thanks for the advice.
>>34518423Actually good advice. She's still a virgin at 18, it's going to take some work. Persistence is everything. That's how I got my virgin wife. >>34518438>If she rejected you, that's what you have to doNo, it's not. Shut the fuck up retard.
>>34518599>That's how I got my virgin wife.Hopefully talking to my future self here, it's not like i planned to give up but being able to hear opinions from different perspectives both positive and negative reassured me quite a bit and for that i am thankful. Thank you guys!
>>34518595>i have a pseudo date with herNice, keep up anon, pls, give us an update later on. You've got this.
>>34518609I see her again for usual stuff next saturday before the dates, i could post on /r9k/ about it with the same image if you are interested? i'm not sure using /adv/ for updates would be correct. Thanks for the encouraging words.
>>34518612>i'm not sure using /adv/ for updates would be correctI think it is correct, you just have to place a question inside the post, otherwise mods will clean the thread.
>>34518616I'll either post it on /r9k/ or here if new questions arise either saturday night or sunday morning, seems only fair seeing as i got help from you guys.
>>34518621Thank you, OP. Good luck, I’ll be cheering for you!
>>34518480Being an orbiter or not is something he should manage, I'm not encouraging it, I'm telling him to give up hope and look somewhere else where he gets something beside a "no". >>34518599You were told no. You move on onto someone who says yes from the get go, you know, someone who ACTUALLY wants you, simple as that. As far as you know she felt compelled to be "nice" to let you down easy, or maybe she's fucking with you; you have way of knowing and to dwell on it is wasting time. You're desperate if you insist on someone who does not want you initially, especially in today's day and age where insisting can reach the point into a false allegation if you're very unlucky. To keep insisting on someone who rejected you leaves you all nice and vulnerable to be taken adventage of, no matter how much you frame it as it being a "nonchalant chad move" or whatever the fuck.Her mind is set, you got your answer, you look somewhere else. She already knows you like her, if she changes her mind she'll have to act on it (but don't count on that happening).
>>34518658>give up>give up>give upYou'll never achieve anything in life as long as you keep this mindset. I just wanted to let you know that.
>>34518674Giving up and moving on are two different things. Besides, this is fucking romance, not a career choice or a job. Following with that comparison, it'd be similar to quitting a job to get hired in a better paying one. Did you give up there? I don't think so.
>>34518403I would have posted some bait or something here, but my man, you're doing good, happy to read you, I feel you, I'm 20 and in college, so good that there's people like you
>>34518423No NEVER EVER EVER means yes.
>>34518403She has said, as clearly as possible, that she does not want a romance. ANYTHING other than that - any "maybe she doesn't mean it" or "maybe she'll change her mind" is 100% totally in YOUR imagination
>>34518658>>34518684>>34518738>>34518742The thread has concluded, please, go away, losers.
>>34518621My life is so shit, that this is the thing I look forward to.
>>34518403>decently sure it's noticeable that i'm a sperg with little dating experience so what do?Cool it with the self deprication. You didn't do anything wrong or embarrasing.Maybe make the same advance again like 6 months from now. There's a small chance she will change her mind.
>>34518403that girl is bonkers. it sounds like shes using you for attention. youve made it clear what you want. shes giving mixed signals. a lot of women are terrible people not because theyre evil but because they lead guys on without realizing it by being too weak to say no
>>34518403So you never actually had any interest in being her friend but were always angling for more. And you’re the one who feels ‘hurt’? Lmao. You sound like a fucking creep. Hopefully she’ll just stay away from you. Weirdo.
