How has loneliness affected you psychologically?
i can't imagine the girls i like being happy to be with me even in my fantasies. i always think about them with a muscle Chad or Jason Luv type thugg with a huge prick making them feel good
Yes very much so. I was alone for around 6 months on a remote island for guarding a lighthouse. Contact with 3-4 guys only and rarely. I was unfortunate that they weren't much interesting so we talked even less. I developed a little impulsiveness when I returned back to my house. These days I have been just hating on things I outright dont like and very verbally. I was not like this before.
>>34518821I am rarely lonely. I am very comfortable in my own company
>>34518849How did you get that job? It's been a dream of mine for a long time but I haven't been able to find any openings
>>34518821Started watching porn way more than normal. Started off as a normal guy who just jack off and leave it at that but now I have been jacking off at public places just to feel some sort of thrill.
>>34518821It and other factors have made me kinda insaneI did waifuism for about a year. Eventually my waifu stopped feeling real, so started e-datingNone of my online relationships have worked so far, and I still feel my waifu calling me back sometimes. Also I have like zero trust in humans, yet still fall for them on the regular.It's weird, I'm kind of just desperate at this point
refering to pic related:1) my grades are tanking2) i have totally lost the ability to concentrate. this is really bad when it comes to anything work related. 3) along with that, I spend all my time watching old youtube videos from my childhood to try to drown out all negative feelings. it is no different from drug abuse. i don't think watching the videos is bad itself, but only in moderation. The amount of time i waste doing it is extremely unhealthy4) I do not have any interaction with other males (let alone females) in any social activities. I say please and thank you to people working at stores when i check out and stuff like that. I try to look pleasant and acknowledge them as a fellow human being, and some of them smile back and also acknowledge me, and that does feel nice especially considering the philosemetic times we are unlucky to live in. but regardless I am, by the standards of even 10 years ago, a hermit. by the standards of 20 years ago i would need to get some kind of intervention.5) the food i eat is good quality (not junk food, I make it myself so i know what's in it, etc), but i gorge myself. this is also due to trying to drown out negative thoughts. as such i am overweight (technically not obese, but that isn't a good thing)6) i sleep like shit and have a shit sleep schedule.7) honestly i am already so ineffective I don't know how much this applies to me.8) i am utterly fucking decrepit for someone who is nominally 23.9) i do wash regularly but do not groom myself well. this is kind of a moot point for me since no amount of grooming will ever get me to a non-negative appearance due to dysgenics.10) absolutely not. people do not look at me unless forced to (like teachers when i hand back an exam or the above store employees when i check out). it is a combination of all the above along with me being a totally spineless faggot who tries to not bother anyone (which itself is amplified by the above tendencies).
It do make me act like a little bitch, so I need to work on that.
>>34518849>I have been just hating on things I outright dont like and very verbally.fuck. this hits hard. it's like gazing into a mirror.
>>34518821Grey matter degeneration
>>34518830Pretty much, self confidence is shot and going out in public isn't the best idea
>>34518830you can bulk up and lift right now doe
it didnt until this yeari am 34 now and i went from "ill be okay, my life hasn't started yet" to "its over, i literally have missed everything, most people have 10 year old kids by now and i havent even had 1 relationship"honestly i feel like the plan all along was for me to never be happy.
>>34518821I’ve been on my own for so long that I’ve got used to it. It’s funny, because two or three years ago I used to complain that I didn’t have any close friends I could really hang out with. There were two people in my life who meant a lot to me, but since then they’ve drifted away from me, and I don’t mind being on my own anymore.
>>34519056There are times I’ve thought to myself “well I’ve a somewhat dysfunctional family but we still care for each other, why would I need an SO”Then I’ve had vivid dreams with my beloved. My chest has elated with such warmth like I could immediately change this persona I’ve and become the best version of myself to live a good life with her. And then I wake up. These women happen to be girls who despised me, girls who have a hint or specifically this one dream where my beloved wore a white mask with a splash of colours. I don’t know who she was, but I know she was mine and we raced across the dream world, laughing. I don’t know what it means in a Jungian way other than my sub conscious telling me to pull together and get a good girl.
>>34520729same anon here. the dreams that i remember are usually entertaining, and occasionally i've had ones where I was with a girl but its purely for sex (i've never even gotten checking out looks so i don't know what it actually feels like, but regardless), never sex with love (basically its hentai scenarios). I guess i should count myself lucky i haven't experienced what you relay. that would make me feel even worse. that said, there's a couple stories bouncing around my head that a better me would actually turn into real things one day. in one of them, the amount of self insert i do into the male protagonist sort of gets me the same feelings of "wow i really could be better and not this sad husk of a mutt that i am", but again since im not dreaming, just remains me self inserting and not actually thinking that i'm literally him.i really wish i was one of my mom's miscarriages. i called her yesterday to tell her that i love her and feel really blessed to be her son. and all of that is true its one of the only things I feel I lucked out on when rolling for stats. but at the same time all of the former is true too. i didn't mention how much i hate myself and the current state of the world because she's heard that enough from me and deserves some damn peace of mind for once in her life. that makes me all the more guilty that *this* is what all the love and care she has put into me has begotten.
There was a period of three or four years after college when I moved to a new city for my first job. Didn’t know anybody. Didn’t even try to make friends. Just went to work, lifted, smoked weed, and played doom WADs. My girlfriend tried really hard to get me to come out of my shell, but I kept telling her if I wanted friends, I’d put effort into making them. At the time, I really believed that too. But in retrospect, I was just depressed and lonely, and rather than being uncomfortable for a few weeks while I sobered up and tried finding a community, I smoked myself into a haze and pretended it didn’t bother me to have nobody to invite to my birthday. You can’t really blame me though. This mentality of “oh but I like being alone, honest” is so prevalent. Almost everybody on this shithole site with no friends will pretend like they’re okay with it. It wasn’t until I sobered up, made some friends, and started going out and doing shit like hiking, camping, etc that I really understood what I lacked. It felt so good to finally have people in my life who like being around me, who hear I have plans and want to tag along, who want me to tag along for their plans. I can’t believe I ever pretended it was optional.
Made me talk to a lot of people.
>>34519010Perhaps it is the light of hope that calls to you. Something you desire with all your heart.
>>34518821I think it makes me constantly feel like an "other" no matter how close I actually am to anyone. It's like I simply can't ever trust anyone with a significant aspect of myself. What happens with me dies with me without ever having any meaning beyond my own interpretation of it. I'm screaming in the void and only pretending to hear my own echos because I already know no one else is ever going to hear it or care about it.
>>34518821at this point I can't even stand working in the same room as other people since they disturb my blessed isolation. honestly shocked I haven't been fired yet seeing as I just hide away at work and do nothing the whole time.worryingly I am starting to feel like this outside of work toI think that in maybe just 2-4 years I will be completely incapable of social interaction and will find the presence of any other human to be unbearable
I have been a loner ever since middle school after I (willingly) cut contact with all of my "friends" who betrayed my trust.Honestly? I'm surprised I haven't gotten crazy yet. I mean, I often talk to myself outloud but it's not like I'm a danger to society or whatever. I'm just more closed off, jaded and cold now. I can't trust people easily, they have to prove to me that they're good people. It's most likely a self defense mechanism.
Being lonely has given me pervasive thoughts of self hatred and suicide ideation. It made me drink myself numb every night and eat like shit. After several years of this feeling ive grown fucking sick of it. I want to take my life back so I chose to express myself and cope in a way that doesn't slowly killing me. I stoke the flame inside me to try and grow stronger everyday. I try to express myself through playing song and seek insight through reading books. It still pains me and makes me cringe how much I miss the warmth of human touch, but I use that longing as my motive to drive forward. I would not be the man I am today without my loneliness, my suffering is mine alone and nobody can take it from me.
>>34518830the girls in my scenarios always stare at me funny and speak in a monotone voice.
>>34519056Hey anon, I am in a similar boat at 22 and just made a post about this, looking for fixes.If someone drops good advice there I will let you know.
