So, I basically hate myself. The thing is, my bf is annoyed/turned off by it. I dunno if it is an excuse because he doesn't actually feel sexually attracted to me (which is pretty probable) or if he genuinely gets frustrated.How the fuck can I love myself when I am an absolute worthless failure of a human? It would be hypocrisy, lack of self-consciousness, even disdain or conformism.I won't love myself until there is something worth loving in me. I'm trying to get better but I have the crappiest personality ever, I am ugly as fuck, and I am retarded. I guess I need to change this mindset and be one of those people who are like all happy about themselves, even when they fuck up. I just kinda despise self-entitled people.My question. How the fuck do I kill myself without actually dying and start over? Or how the fuck do I accept my shitty existence as a little insufferable, stupid, ugly bitch?Every time he calls me pretty I want to cry. I feel like he is fucking lying to me.I am not worthy of love; he just has too much of it to give.
>>34519628Shut the fuck up you dumb bitchFuck you and fuck your stupid faggot boyfriend I hope he gets hit by a fucking truck
>>34519628Okay so my wife used to do this shit, here is why it's annoying as fuck.Me: You're very prettyHer: No, I'm not.Me: ??? I find you prettyHer: Okay but I know I am ugly, so I don't believe it.Me: I'm not asking you to believe it, I am just telling you I find you prettyHer: But that's not true thoughMe: It is to me Her: Then you must have bad taste or somethingMe: Are you serious ?Her: what?Me: Just take the compliment!Her: If I agreed to it I'd be lying though, I am not prettyMe: I am not asking you to agree or disagree, I am just telling you how I feel about you, what the fuckHer: And I don't feel the same about how I lookMe: Ok? Her: Yeah okay. It's fucking annoying. And I will tell you what I told my wife (back when she was my GF). Fucking stop that shit. It makes other people feel invisible and emotionally irrelevant. It makes people never want to compliment you ever again because you just swat the compliments away like a fussy child. It makes people feel like their attraction to you doesn't matter at all to you. And it makes people feel like they're alone in the relationship since you show that your self hatred means more to you than the connection with the other person. Just fucking say "Thanks" and smile when a compliment is given to you. Is it really so hard?
>>34519650I've had this exact conversation.Yeah its hard to accept his compliments because I feel like I am catfishing him somehow, and he doesn't actually know me. He has a ton of faith in me, a good image of me, and I am sure I'll disappoint him really hard.
>>34519661You don't need to feel any different about yourself when he gives you the compliments, that's not what's being asked of you. All you need to say is "Thanks", "Thank you", "That's nice of you to say", "How sweet of you".No one is expecting you to be altered by what's said, he knows you aren't gonna develop instant self esteem when he says it. Your problem is you pay too much attention to your daydreams and ruminations in your own head, and not enough in reality that's in front of you. Reality is he is dating you and sticks around because he likes you as a person and finds you attractive. If he didn't, you would be single right now.
>>34519674Yeah, you are right, this makes sense.I also saw a post about a guy on his girlfriend's obsession with her nose, and I realised how fucking neurotic I am.
>>34519689Well if you're like my wife, you're probably a perfectionist. Perfectionists commonly feel mediocre and never good enough because they keep daydreaming about perfect ideals and because they aren't perfect themselves they catastrophize in their own head about stupid bullshit like "I am so ugly" or "I am so stupid" or whatever just because they don't have 300 IQ, hourglass figure, size zero, DD tits and perfect skin and perfect hair and perfect nipple placement and perfect this and perfect that and blah blah blah. Whoever invented the concept of "perfect" should be stood against a wall and shot several times
>>34519704Yeah, I am a perfectionist. The funny thing is IRL (I mean out of my brain) I am messy af (I am being objective).
>>34519714That's because perfectionism is too exhausting to think about so all the energy to be good enough gets poured down the drain resulting in an ironic opposite result, like messiness. Anyway, when you get married and have kids, you will shed your perfectionism, you won't have time to torture yourself mentally with how busy life gets as a full fledged woman and mother. So just aim for that and you will grow out of it.
>>34519731Yeah, I hope so. Thanks anon.
>>34519755No problemo. Remember the next time BF compliments you, say "Thanks". Peace
