Because of this needless feeling I can't find a gf for myself.I don't count myself ugly or beatiful, just mid.But when I see a really perfect girl for me, I can't move any muscle to come closer and say at least "Hi".My fellows tell me to train on cats, but I'm also afrad they'll pepper-spray me and take off.
>>34522527What you described is called Avoidant personality traits. Nobody has a straight forward solution for that and psychology/psychiatry are plagued by vices that don't allow anyone to approach these in a specialized way.You can't get rid of being "different" as in you can't change your past anymore, and changing what you think of it will never lead to what someone who never experienced it feels. You have to take it one step at a time.For starters, you really should blurt out "Hi, my name is anon. I really find you beautiful and wanted to let you know". Don't do it because it leads somewhere, do it because saying Just that, is enough to hit you with incredible euphoria. Like I said one step at a time. Say it to feel good, you have to pile up the good feelings.Now, if you have feelings of "wahh, I will lose her forever, she will hate me, I'm not good enough yet, this is my only chance! I only have one bullet can't shoot, im gonna die!" That's a whole different beast. One that I don't know how to quell. If you manage to not conjure this thought up, you're already victorious and should celebrate.
>>34522527volunteerperform service for othersget better humility by doing things that make you feel a part of society; this will eventually enhance your self esteem but not without effort self esteem will allow you to function better with others especially a woman
>>34522620This doesn't necessarily solve things. volunteering is just an unpaid job, doesn't really mean anything if you don't believe in the cause. You may come to be frustrated at your performance or other people's performance or get pressured to do more and more, you can come to hate it, and people's gratefulness may not amount to hating the line of work. Feeling like this is common in healthcare.
>>34522591Not OP but I realized today that my lack of any intimacy in the last several years comes from me being very avoidant in social settings and around women. I thought prior that it was just my personality but really im afraid of being humiliated or dropped suddenly like in my previous relationships. Im going to try and attend a group guitar class and go out more to chill places to have basic conversations with people. My brother made me cold approach women the other week and it felt humiliating and awkward. Confidence is fucking hard man.
>>34522685Good luck man, just the fact that you have a brother that shows up for you puts you in a bigger advantage. My family caged me and never trained me to look for happiness on my own, my brother is a tryhard who recently took up incel mindset and was never there for me. The sooner you start to feel free the better. Finding groups with women available is pure luck, so I wish you the best of it.
