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File: 1559604193309.jpg (19 KB, 600x600)
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>>
What's that guy's problem?
>>
Why the fuck isn't anyone texting back??
>>
35 years of being single has caught up to me and feeling the reality of growing old alone
>>
I like being manic and unmedicated and I'm tired of pretending otherwise.
>>
it's over.
>>
File: 1568264777798.png (115 KB, 402x423)
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i get that you're broke as hell but it feels like im the one inviting you everywhere and i love you i really do and i know you do back but it's the thought that counts yknow? id appreciate something that cost you like a dollar but you got it beforehand and you got it for me as a surprise
your friends joke that i treat you like a dog because i like offering you stuff when we go on dates and it's not really that big a deal it's just that you're very passive on our dates you never decide anything at all! it's all me! i get that "my presence is the greatest gift" but ghfhjjj do you have any opinions?? at all?? this is the big cool city you live in and im a naive country bumpkin that doesnt know any places so why do i have to look up places beforehand can't you lead anything im sure you can if you thought about it but no you just follow me around like a dog and i really do enjoy your company and i love you but its starting to get a little repetitive each time we meet and that saddens me its only been a year and i want to spent much more time with you
>>
>>34522782
If you're a girl, than most guys are just kind of default like this these days. He might be able to be opened up to consumerism more if he gets excess income.
>>
>>34522791
i don't want to be offered a labubu or some shit. i just want him to point at some place with cool rocks and say "lets check out the cool rocks".
it's not like i shower him with gifts or anything, i just get us both something from a bakery or two we pass by often.
i just wish hed offer anything to do, i choose where we go every time and whenever i ask him its always "idk you can choose ^_^" and he genuienly enjoys it. super sweet guy im just scared of monotony in the future
i should just tell him someday but it feels.. rude
>>
People who make their empathy obnoxiously visible have pissed me off ever since I was a kid, but now that I’m older, it’s gotten so much worse that it’s hard for me to fucking discuss ANYTHING atp. Especially when people let their emotions completely override logic and critical thinking, then act like that somehow makes them morally superior. Excessive empathy weakens good judgment, but nobody wants to admit that because society LOVES emotional performativity for some odd reason?? why is that? I see this mainly in political discourse nowadays, but i’m gonna put it into a simpler context. During my lifetime i’ve heard people say “That person has a lot going on in their private life, so you should always be kind to them even if they’re not the best person.” What the fuck kind of logic is that? Hello? Since when do personal problems excuse someone from being held accountable? I don’t owe anybody respect or forgiveness just because their life sucks. Boohoo wimp, everybody has issues lmaoo. That doesn’t entitle you to special treatment or immunity from criticism. It’s even worse when folks look at me weirdly because I don’t tinker with sugarcoating my words in fake, affective empathy. I’m not going to put on some soft act just to make other people comfortable. If your family member dies, yeah, objectively that sucks, you’re allowed to feel sad ig, but I’m not gonna sit there pretending I’m devastated over it too. It’s not my responsibility to satisfy people’s obsession with performative empathy, womp womp. The most honest thing you’ll get from me is “Yeah, I get it.” and that’s all you need.

(I need to cut this up, theres too many characters)
>>
>>34522832
(CONTINUATION)
God, don’t even get me started on fake empathy towards me in particular. I absolutely despise whenever I’m forced to talk about my childhood, because there will ALWAYS be a person who starts frowning, softening their voice, and saying some bs like “Aw:( That sounds really sad! I’m sorry that happened, are you okay?” It’s all so fucking artificial. I don’t need your pity, asshole. Why can’t people just treat it like a neutral fact? Why do you have to make it a big deal?? Just so you can feel morally better about yourself? Yeah, so much for being a good human. Nice one.
I could talk about this for hours, but i’m going to close it here and say that I’ll forever stand with the fact that cognitive empathy is all we need + getting overly emotional is completely useless. I’ve NEVER felt sorrow for anyone in my lifetime, and I don’t need to.
>>
>>34522760
Reminds me of this 34 year old woman I was talking to, she laid out very heavy hints she's interested. I'm very tempted. Not pulling shit yet, but tempted.
>>
>>34522801
I think if it's really that simple you should tell him. Then you should clarify it's really that simple and not sone convoluted test because he will probably seem confused and think it's some type of test. Next, tell him that you brought up rocks as an example and that doesn't count, so don't show you rocks, you don't actually want to see rocks, you want to be shown something you did not expect and be surprised because it adds spice to life and you wish he would live a little more for the both of you. Or something.
>>
>>34522769
i don't and i'm deeply not doing well and it's not working out. fuck
>>
>>34522858
not some convoluted test*
>>
Another day another woman I let die due to my neglect
>>
Maybe it's women's problem if they die because you abandon them lol
>>
I refuse to accept what my blood and bones tell me, longing to rewrite the destiny I am destined to deny.
>>
>>34522861
I think I'm just trying to convince myself I'm okay. My current doc is a nurse practitioner and she doesn't seem to k is what to do with me. Finding a new doctor is hella stressful. My family doesn't think I'm sick. I have kids so I'm very concerned about saying I have the illness in case it gets my kids bullied. So I'm kind of giga fucked no matter what happens.

Don't get me wrong, my wife loves me a lot but she isn't mentally ill and none of her close family are either. Her dad is from the boonies and used to tell her mental illness isn't real. She has no way of understanding what I'm talking about. And because I watch the kids a lot due to our work schedules if I freak her out then it could undermine the relationship really hard. So I'm fucked pretty hard no matter what. I don't know what to do. We have the money and insurance to put in therapy but they don't think I'm sick and I'm scared of asking for help like that. In part because it's expensive and I never seem to get better.
>>
Reminder to never trust men with ADHD
>>
>>34522995
Lady go outside and see how beautiful the sky is and how green the grass is.
>>
>>34522995
Added, learn to enjoy being around people instead of a select few people. I wish you could push your left brain to your right brain a bit more. I'll tell you it ain't gonna help you out when you get thrown on the streets and your looks aren't gonna help you. You could be 50 years old one day and the possibility of having a saving guy won't be there if you choose to be vindictive and resentful all the time.
>>
I've been staring at the same machine all day long, and I was working in it all day on Friday and Thursday, studying electrical schematics and chasing wires and testing plugs, relays, solenoids, switches. I've been trying to fix this fucking thing for 4 years and my boss just keeps pushing me to working on it, like im going to come up with a magic answer that I didn't have before and it makes me want to kill myself
>>
*suffers*
>>
>>34522995
Don't tell people that
>>
REMINDER TO NEVER TRUST MEN WITH ADHD!!!
>>
I prefer to enjoy the little things in life than impress some charlatan who has disdain for the proletariat of people in society. Constantly going on about how most people are shitty and they're different. What a fucking sad life to live when you are intellectually elite and you can't make friends with people because you stop yourself from doing so because they can't be as smart as you. It really is sad in a way. Missed out on so many good interactions they could have had and traded it in for just slouching through honor classes with A's and B's and then believing they know college so well they don't have to take it to then turn into some pothead who thinks everyone is an idiot except them. That's just sad. Had potential but choose to give up.
>>
And why did they give up, because they thought if they tried it was crazy and stupid, which is stupid.
>>
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You call me talking about how you need me to help move your old bed to the dumpster right after I got off work!? What are ya, SAVAGE!? My fucking back hurts!
>>
Where does she go?
Back and forth back and forth
In and out in and out
>>
>>34523108
Why tho
>>
>>34523108
I don't trust anybody who uses adhd as an excuse. I'm not going to hold any grown adults hand through their feelings
>>
>>34523108
Autismchads can't stop winning
>>
>>34523248
I never met an autist that didn't have adhd personally. I wonder what that looks like. IME AuDHD folk are evil demons from Hell. NPD and BPDs are easy to deal with comparatively speaking
>>
come on. give me a sign by the end of today, midnight.
>>
Chat, will you reassure me?
>>
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>>34523305
>>
>>34523334
If you are assured why would you need a reassurance? Are you not assured? Or are you looking to be insured?
>>
>>34523343
They asked for reassurance, so they want assurance.
>>
>>34523334
>>34523356
Rest assured
>>
>>34523335
touche. i'm still waiting for it though
>>
>>34523334
*reassures*
>>
>>34523382
Oh no here comes Sean's touch of death. Watch out everyone or he might kill you
>>
>>34523108
*Gives attention*
>>
>>34523385
*ignores*
*wins* even
>>
>>34523394
>*ignores*
*dies from your abandonment*
>>
You've killed me Sean. You've killed me. What's your body count now? Is it 4 or 5?
>>
File: D-Prussy.png (424 KB, 1206x1008)
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>>34523334
>>
>>34522690
I gotta this one femboy I’ve been talking to for about a month they have a bf (3month relationship when we started talking and also they have a open -semi- serious relationship that is only open cause of “distance) but we been talking like 3hours a day everyday align on most of our interests and politics and desu I think I love/like he/her/them enough that I wanna go to the next step although in the limited amount of time I’ve known them they’ve told me some vapid things about them selves like juggling 3 other relationships not for sex but for cash (which before you imply I’m not nor have paid for anything cept food with them when we had a date) anyway I have a date with them over at my pad coming up and I don’t wanna ruin the fun or anything but what should I do i mean they seem pretty liberal with using sex for things and I don’t like it but since it’s not serious I don’t wanna come off as a dick and grandstand about it andI think if I stick it out it’ll probably go my way but not sure
>>
>>34523269
Oh how lovely a demon I am
>>
>>34523414
great we have Zach the Demon and Sean the Angel of Death in this thread with us. this has to be a bad omen
>>
>>34523405
I was really really fucked up by overdosing on THC edibles on an empty stomach, and all my memories came back. It was traumatic and transformative. There were two crazy girls that OD'd and contacted me right before, and one literally blamed me for not being there, and like I barely knew her, and I also lost my mom to drugs, and maybe used to feel like it was my fault. Also this one guy called me like right before he killed himself. I think that's it. Also I was kind of a bully as a little kid before puberty. I think that was all the guilt. Overall the borderline hallucinogenic trip I basically went on was mostly confidence inducing and grew my empathy. I also remembered this like crazy confession from a friend that I sort of repressed which was related to one of the girls that died. Also I recently reconnected with a a few old friends, and one in particular makes me really happy and optimisitc. Things are looking kind of good but I'm still like really neurotic and have a lot of work to do before I have a real social life and relationships again after isolating myself from everyone and breaking up with my gf. Thanks for listening to my blog.
>>
>>34523425
Holy shit you are literally someone I know. The story matches 1:1 exactly. Your name can't actually be Sean irl can it
>>
>>34523428
Probably a HUGE coincidence
>>
>>34523424
It is what it is.
>>
>>34523424
Is Sean and Angel the same namefag?
>>
>>34523488
No
>>
>>34523488
Sean is "s" which contrary to popular belief does not stand for Sean but Serial Killer in reference to all the people he has killed. We don't call him that though because we are scared he might kill us
>>
I feel sick
>>
>>34523521
Is it the guilt?
>>
GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF. YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE. YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN.

No more crushes. No more overthinking. No more idealizing trash men. No more anxious attachment. No more emotional bullshit.

Weight loss. Build muscle. Get sleep. Progress at work. Make living environment comfortable. Build lasting friendships. Engage in creative hobbies over consumptive hobbies.

Prioritize shit lower down on the pyramid first. You CAN do this and you WILL succeed. Just like you did before.
>>
>>34523532
No just getting sick of intrusive thoughts, oh yeah and also stomach problem, think I might genuinely be gluten and casein sensetive.
>>
>>34523559
Try to budget a little towards each thing at once rather than aim for one thing at a time. Budgeting is literally one of the most important skills in life at every bracket of wealth and even in many games.
>>
>>34523532
Also forgot, I feel like throwing up because of my anxiety.
>>
>>34523569
Emotions alter states and states alter emotions.
>>
>>34523569
What intrusive thoughts? I have those too sometimes
>>
>>34523582
Try drinking a lot of water. Pushups. Going for a walk. Boxed breathing. Making a list(preferably of your worries and/or goals and how to go about handling each in steps). Humor.

and last but not least:

Noticing Techniques (5-4-3-2-1 Method)

5 See: Identify five things you can see (e.g., a clock, a chair, your hand).

4 Touch/Feel: Notice four things you can feel (e.g., chair against your back, feet on floor).

3 Hear: Listen for three sounds (e.g., traffic, birds, your breath).

2 Smell: Identify two scents (e.g., soap, air).

1 Taste: Notice one thing you can taste (e.g., coffee, mint).
>>
>>34523593
I just drank water and I'm feeling a little better now, might go for a walk outside.
>>
You can just keep calling this number all day
>>
>>34523618
would be nice if you picked up for once though ha ha
>>
>>34523611
Might work, especially if you spend a lot of time inside or just a few locations on repeat.
>>
>>34523618
I never asked for your number
>>
File: IMG_8462.jpg (705 KB, 1125x2302)
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https://youtu.be/70hIRnj9kf8?si=cLqIqA-ziIwvjj9d
>>
>>34523621
I have been called 15 times
>>
>>34523625
If it's a guy that's not a lot, 30+ missed calls a day is where you can start assuming he's into you
>>
>>34523628
I've been getting harassment phone calls and being cussed out every time I pick up the phone
>>
Man I’m going to die alone
>>
>>34523663
I doubt that.
>>
>>34523663
Me too
>>
yells MORTAL KOMBAT in a whisper
>>
File: IMG_8463.jpg (15 KB, 946x946)
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https://youtu.be/sfdjkALwgiU?si=Ww7keGgE6yInTEgM
>>
It’s like a division of who wants to hold the highest grace out of those who don’t believe and those who want to hold the highest loyalty out of those who do. It’s whatever dude. I’m scared.
>>
>>34523748
,dude
>>
, dude
>>
>>34523593
Do noticing techniques ever actually work for panic attacks?

I hear these techniques alot, and I know they help manage anxiety but idk man feels like panic attacks and overloaded stress is a much bigger fish to fry than just techniques.
>>
>>34523622
took a walk outside, when i came back i saw a skunk in my front yard
>>
>>34523818
You know what that means
>>
I really fucking wish he didn't ghost out of nowhere
I could really use venting to him right now and just hearing from someone who's gone through the same things
I didn't know I was headed down the same path when he left last year but here I am now
I don't know anyone else who's had to go inpatient and partial hospitalization
Be zonked out on antipsychotics and shuffling through a dozen meds trying to find something that works
This is too much for everyone else and they're already fading away because of it
>>
>>34523838
Been there done that. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. It took years off my life
>>
>>34523838
I've been through similar. Could leave you my contact, if you want to vent.
>>
>>34523838
Went through similar stuff, I got abandoned by a guy who had ADHD, was hospitalized several times and put on different antipsychotics, nothing worked, turned to pills and eventually alcohol and street drugs to cope. Overdosed once. Wish I could offer some words of encouragement but I think I'm just gonna go out this way. Maybe your situation is different though and you have something else to live for
>>
dont fucking touch me
youre repulsive
>>
>>34523913
I'm nowhere near you.
>>
I saw a very large crow outside my window the other day. Freaked me out at first. It wasn't exceptionally huge like a cryptid like Roc or whatever but it was pretty damn big and it had a smaller bird like a blue jay hovering around it. Damn crow was probably about as big as a human toddler, though.

Maybe.
>>
People on YouTube think they can clock me now too. That's wild.
>>
>>34523748
>loyalty
Duty
Excuse me
>>
File: IMG_1389.jpg (162 KB, 1214x731)
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bipolar anon from earlier; i'm going through some stupid fucking deep depression that i haven't experienced in like three months. I had some mental breakdown last night and this morning. I eventually reached out to a friend and mentioned the barest minimum of what i was thinking, they sent me this and it fucking broke me dude

eventually we went out and enjoyed the weather which turned my day around and made me feel less hopelessly psychotic and insane and alone. it's fine. i'm fine. stop being so stupid and gay
>>
DEAR GOD AN AUTISTIC PERSON TOOK A SHIT IN THE TOILET WHAT DIABOLICAL OR HORRIBLE THINGS HAVE BEEN DONE!

It's just shit...

NONSENSE IT IS A HIDDEN MESSAGE ABOUT WHO WE ARE AS PEOPLE. JUST LOOK AT HOW BIG THE SHIT IS! IT MEANS HE THINKS HE IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF US BASED ON BIG THIS SHIT IS!

It's just shit.
>>
>>34523942
That is a good ass friend
Really wish my bipolar friend let me in instead of shoving me away
Cared about him so much
Glad your day turned out okay
>>
>>34522690
I feel like a nurtured sociopath, I used to be extremely empathetic, and seemingly I just feel so disconnected, I feel so numb, I feel like everyone is so transactional with me, a tool to be used and then promptly discarded, all I've learnt is to treat people the same way
I want to know what makes people happy, to truly engage them on their interests but the topic revolves back to me like some roving narcissist.

I feel like I don't know my family, I feel like a nuisance to my "friends", I feel like I cry and beg for help only to have people wash their hands of me and tell me that they want to do everything but help.

I feel extremely extremely alone, in every possible sense, I'm basically bunkered into my room in a shitty HMO and I just am losing the will to live.
>>
>>34523968
I know , it really fucked with me. I push everyone away and pretend to be jovial or stoic especially when I wanna fucking jump off a bridge. being vulnerable sucks but I understand that it's important and also necessary
>>
>>34523963
Someone failed their bowel inspection...
>>
Nigga you've got a johhny bravo build and look like a thumb from the neck up, why are you acting like gods gift to women lmao
>>
>>34524004
>I push everyone away and pretend to be jovial or stoic especially when I wanna fucking jump off a bridge
me
>>
>>34524034
Tbf Johnny Bravo mogs most people
>>
>>34524034
When did I act like that?
>>
Imagine stalking someone, but trying to downplay who they are.
>>
>>34524050
How do you downplay an anonymous person
>>
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third therapist has proven worse than the last two and my options are looking worse and worse. This one is just talking to a wall. Not in that she doesn't listen, she barely speaks.

I'm beginning to think i can't be helped, that there's no way I can beat anorexia and this time it's going to win and kill me. I literally don't know what else to do. I can't do it anymore and nobody can help me unless it's going into inpatient hospitalization. I'd lose my job because that would take at least 2-4 months to get over with. So... I'm just fucked. I'm literally just fucked. I can only delay it as long as i can. I think this time it's kinda... it for me. I don't think i'll get two chances.
>>
>>34524050
>>34524060
Imagine being a retard
>>
>>34524050
don't encourage them pls. i have stalkers posting my full name on this site. you know how bad it is to be paranoid with this going on?
>>
>>34524060
By acting like you know how they feel about themselves, and trying to act there's not a reason you're stalking them.
>>
>>34524068
Discordfags?
>>
>>34524065
I don't have to imagine.
>>
>>34524077
i'm referring to people i know irl who shitpost on here
>>
Your favorite video game must be S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Stupid mfer.
>>
>>34524088
Checkmate
>>
>>34524092
It isn't..
>>
Favorite story might be Jack and the BeanSTALK

Mfer.
>>
>>34524092
No that's yours
>>
>>34524106
I don't stalk people in extreme ways, unlike some people here.
>>
>>34524102
So are you guys >>34524092
>>34524102
Gay for each other?
>>
>>34524110
Stalk in extreme ways how?
>>
>>34524113
Literally all three of those are me.

You favorite animal must be a cat, because they STALK prey.

Fucking moron.
>>
>>34524121
Like having RATs on their computer and having fucking watchservers and shit. Or trying to garner more information on them to keep in your files and leverage for whatever the fuck you think that's going to do.

Imagine pretending to be a girl multiple times, just to gain info on someone.
>>
>>34524123
Actually rats prey at night and they stalk at night
>>
>>34524133
Except cats actually kill shit when they stalk. Which is what the mfer wants to do.
>>
>>34524133
You would know wouldn't you
>>
>>34523826
No? I dont know what that means.
>>
I feel like every single embarrassing moment that has happened in my life in the past 6 years has just built up in my head. I haven't forgotten a single one (at least that's what I think) and the burden of these horrible memories keeps on building and building with each passing year. It's painful, it's shameful, and it really just fucking sucks.
>>
You say you take good care, but half your things are scratched
I know that you're a lyre, no strings attached...
>>
Gonna start taking drugs myself to manually fix my health problems that have crippled me for nearly 10 years now. currently ballooned up to 215lbs due to binge eating and self destructing habits centered around wanting to die and feeling like an alien in society. Gonna turn it around now, gonna inject and take anything and everything I have planned to fix this cause im at my breaking point and cant handle this anymore. Putting my foot down mentally. Gonna order it in the coming days, as I get paid this week. Things change now I cant live like an alien and feel disgusting. Im gonna see a therapist about feeling like an alien but I want to take my health in my own hands and out of the doctors. We are all gonna make it
>>
>>34524194
imagine taking street drugs instead of a GLP1/SGLT2. you are being a moron right now.
>>
>>34524194
Get off my planet alien

Man i think my neighbors really are a bit obsessed with me, yet they have no contact with me. Fucken passive aggressive fucks!
>>
>>34524213
You're mentally ill and unstable
>>
>>34524205
>GLP1/SGLT2
That's even worse. He or she should just fast in the mornings.
>>
>>34524219
it's not worse. street drugs are full of fucking slop and fake shit. i have watched many bariatric patients improve on glp. it's not perfect, but if he lacks the willpower or motivation to fast, it's better than fucking meth or something like what an immature solution
>>
>>34524217
If you say so, lol
>>
>>34524205
street drugs? brother you got it all wrong. Im solving my 10+ year sleep issue with a combo of 3 injectable sleep drugs (hgh, dsip, and epitalon), as well as beginning enhancing my wakened state to offset my permanent sleep debt due to mental disease. The goal is a combo of modafinil, testosterone, and additionally a mood stabilizer if I still need it (my dad fucked me over with bad mental health genetics). I'll use retatrutide too along with a few other compounds for weight loss and lipid management. Not stooping to street drugs, i'm not a neanderthal.
>>
>>34524240
Your neighbors are not obsessed with you
>>
It's a strange position to be in where you have no one close to you at all, no family members to confide in, no friends. I feel like i'm on an island watching the rest of the world exist in their bubbles and my corner has nothing but me. I kind of like it but I also feel like i'm missing out on things
>>
>>34524213
I truly do feel like an alien sometimes. A true foreigner in the presence of everyday people. Ive never related to a single person. Maybe I am one? thank you schizo chan for figuring out my true origins and helping me see the light. I'll be going home now :)
>>
>>34524248
Yeah possibly, but I would also know better than you so
>>
I should sleep. Maybe after watching some eps.
>>
I don't mean to shit on my supporters, and if this makes them change sides then so be it.
>>
Let me remind you all something that you can't let ghetto shit get to you all on. I'm gonna give you some figurtive language to make a point. So, if someone stuck their dick inside a toaster that's just meant to toast bread, did that mean that the purpose of the toaster is to have sex?

No it doesn't. Weakness and meekness does not mean anything in terms of sexuality
>>
Finally got annoyed enough with my current co-managers today that I just (drunkenly) applied to another job on indeed. Don’t really care if I get this particular position. But just going forward I know that I can’t continue to work at this place after more than 6 years. Overqualified. Underpaid. Unappreciated.

Fuck you Danny, faggot ass dickhead.
>>
>>34524364
You tell them anon, you tell them! Fuck em!
>>
I wish everyone knew how amazing you are. I wish I could tell you how amazing you are, but you’d just think I’m a creep. I’ll just settle for thanking you. I hope we spend more time together so one day I can let you know how much you matter.
>>
I'm unable to accept the thought of my beloved family dying to old age. I could visit more, but I don't and whenever I do I want to gtfo by the end of the visit but I still can't accept they and eventually I too will get old and die. It's commonsense anr inevitable but I can never bring myself to accept it. Horrible feeling.

A mix of physical and mental factors makes me tempted to go for SSI. A soft tissue injury that didn't show on an xray and I've yet to get an MRI for0 has made it so I can't stand for 20 minutes without it degenerating into agony and I can't sit in most chairs without the same effect sometimes happening even faster. Getting up and down is pain. I'm on government gibs/EBT and with my circumstances I'm considered able-bodied as is. A massive gap in work history and nothing special on my resume prior feels like I'm up shit creek without a paddle. Not quite sure what to do other than go for the MRI.
>>
>>34523787
Yeah ultimately you need to work through your list of problems, but they can help get you under control and feel better to get the work done.
>>
>>34523818
That's cool
>>
I wish jannies would stop moving every shit thread to r9k just fucking delete them
>>
I love my GF so much. Also I'm probably Demisexual and fuck all the people who belittled me saying it wasn't a real sexuality and forced me back into the closet.
>>
I'm retarded
>>
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>unrequited first love gets a gf
>Literally devastated
>Whatever, his terrible personality will take care of that
>waitaminute.png
>Why am I still in love with this horrible person?
My conclusion is that a fucked up first love will fuck you up permanently, that'll be all thanks for reading
>>
>>34524864
Damn I resonate with your post
>>
I have a certain supplement that for whatever reason makes me go manic. Part of me wants to be manic and part of me is scared to. The responsible me knows better. But damn if it isn't tempting I might need to throw it away or something before I ruin my life.
>>
>>34524928
please anon what supplement? i live for the next manic episode
>>
>>34523559
Only comment that matters
>>
>>34523559
Will try
>>
Fucking tired of smoking. Can't last a day without litting a cig. Never try it, anon, never, don't even think about trying. Smoking is retarded activity
>>
>>34524941
I'm not sure I should tell you but it's one of the most common supplements people take for depression to avoid seeing a psychiatrist. Unfortunately it works on me. I didn't research it ahead of time and took it at 9pm thinking it would make me sleepy like an SSRI sometimes can. Buddy I felt amazing all night. I didn't take one the next day but I still had trouble sleeping. Jesus this shit is strong.
>>
>>34524972
5htp? Ashwagandha? St John's Wort?
Stop being cagey nigger
>>
>>34524977
Sam-e, Jesus. Enjoy tripping balls on this terrible disease. Maybe it doesn't work for others but it's fucking rocket fuel for me
>>
>>34524977
>St John's Wort
this shit fucks me up for some reason
>>
>>34524864
I realized I didn't like my first bf when he left me for another girl and I just couldn't hate her even though I wanted to, I just felt bad for her.
>>
not sure if i experience mania or i just have episodes of happiness
>>
Broke sobriety last night, basically chugged a 12-pack
Might not be that big a deal to most people but I got out of detox for alcohol a week ago because I was drinking so much that it would've been medically dangerous to stop on my own

I'm not gonna start up again, I'm recommitting to sobriety
I just don't want to feel like absolute shit 24/7 and none of the meds work and alcohol immediately works
Therapy today and psych sent new meds last night so I have help in place it just wasn't quick enough last night
I don't think I can live alone for awhile but I really don't want to do a 30 day rehab thing. Hopefully one of my parents is willing to come stay with me
>>
I'm glad I haven't found my drug of choice yet. Pretty sure this is the only thing that's been stopping me from going down the path of addiction.
>>
>>34525011
I knew a nice guy. Had a professional job. Liked sports. We used to talk ball a lot. I didn't notice it but over the last few years I knew him he had started turning yellow. I knew he had a drinking problem. Dude drank until his liver stopped working. He didn't even reach 60yo. He was more of my dad's friend I guess, but I used to see him at work, he was always nice to me. But he drank knowing he had liver disease. Drank knowing he would go back to rehab. Drank himself to death.

Don't.. don't do this. Maybe he had a weaker liver than most, maybe he drank more then he let on, but don't risk cutting your life 20-30 years short like that. Not for no reason anyways. Please try to get help. Alcohol is a poison.
>>
>Consumptive hobbies
That's a good term. I have no respect for those who only, or largely, have consumptive hobbies. They're just goycattle, doesn't matter if the content is "woke" or "based," it's all soul-rotting slop.
>>
>>34525046
I think I'm a spiritual
Boomer because I just really like taking time out of my week to cut the grass and trim back hedges or unwanted shrubs. I just like yard work. I don't get to do as much as I want to. Is that a consumptive hobby? I just put on some tunes on a portable speaker or my AirPods and I just get to work.
>>
>>34525051
It's productive, potentially. Better if you plant systems that foster environmental benefit (indigenous wild flowers and grasses to support pollinators, for example) but even at it's most boomerish, yard work is still leagues better than sitting around listening to talking heads through a screen or playing videogames.
>>
>>34524092
Not that anon but shadow of Chernobyl is my favorite game. Clear sky is also very good, but it is by far the hardest game in the series because of the bleed.
>>
People who are 70 years old and up need to be removed from full time work and are only allowed to hold hourly wage low level customer service jobs at the absolute most of 16 hrs/week max. I am a consultant and I see so much inefficiency with people way past their prime that think they can hang in the corporate world. I am sorry to say but your time is over. If you were unable to obtain enough wealth to support yourself after about 45 years of working in your prime, then you need to keel over and die so the next generation can push forward. People that disagree are simply deluded and doomed to be suckers. Simple as.
>>
>>34525058
The home's previous owners were silent generation giga boomers and they sold it eventually to a yuppie older millennial couple. Both previous owners planted exotic invasive and the yuppies didn't realize how much work their garden would be so let it overgrow. I could get a dumpster dropped off and just fill it with bullshit. Tons of poison ivy I'd need a tyvek suit and some shoe covers because I can't burn it so I'd have to dumpster it. Fucking assholes. I'm amazed at their lack of care. One shrub seems to have poison ivy growing up through it like a climbing vine. Just astonishing how long they let it grow like this.
>>
You want me to ask for things or help nicely, but they don't get done unless I get mad and lash out at you. What am I supposed to think about that?
>>
Calling Microsoft to get word 2010 activated. Tried so many cracked versions but none hold. Bought a 5 pc activation disk but Microsoft disabled the activation servers and the activation phone line.

Then Building a dual sided display cabinet for the board games, lastly Cutting, drilling, painting final pieces for the trash can.
>>
>>34525112
I think you're right but politicians and the messed up people who run the world want people to suffer.
>>
White nationalists are all a bunch of pathetic losers and are ironically the greatest argument for white genocide.
>>
.... ..... ... ....... .. ....... .. .... ........
>>
I just got an interview request for a graduate program that starts in a month, I'm freaking the fuck out because I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford it that soon, and what if I fail, and I had already accepted that it wasn't happening after my interview back in October. oh god oh god
>>
>>34525291
congratulations anon
>>
>>34525011
go to a meeting
>>
>>34525294
i'm entrenched in panic and I haven't left my bed for hours, it's a three-year long program so big decision, but I think I can reason myself and get the fuck out of bed to go bike and buy cigarettes and help my friend clean their house
>>
>>34525256
White hands typed this
>>
>>34525315
Yes. That's the point. You guys are such fucking losers that you actually make a compelling argument for white genocide due to making white people look like a bunch of whiny pathetic faggots.
>>
>>34525217
Try massgrave method
>>
Anons, Im tired of being nice to all of you.
You are bitching about life, about how everything is soo bad, how you cant find happiness, how you have axiety and so on. You are so negative, nihilistic and cynical.
How can I help you? Seems like being nice and positive is not what you need.
Grow some fucking balls, stop being a bitch about life, take risks. "But risks take efford and It might now go the way I want to".
Fucking pussy, put on the work, at least if you try to better yourself and life in general something good will come out of it. In the worst case, you will fail but learn as well.
>You dont undertand me
I dont give a shit...
The world is yours to conquer, if not just end your life once and for all fucking piece of coward
>>
>>34525295
I went to my first meeting 4 days ago and it was a little odd but I probably should

Technically I have IOP tonight but I'm gonna fail a piss test which means I'm out so what's the point

Idk
Making a new plan with the therapist in an hour
>>
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I saw this boxelder bug mourning his friend a little bit ago. He stayed like this for a few seconds, just staring and touching the decedent.
>>
>>34525467
Sean if he was a bug
>>
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>>34525467
And then he walked away after saying his final goodbye
>>
i had anxiety and did it anyway. not only did i do it but i excelled
>>
I've decided to embrace my stockholm syndrome instead of fighting it off. It's so much easier and less psychologically damaging to just defend my sister's actions and make excuses. She loved me and i know this is true, stockholm syndrome or not. And it's in that that I think it wasn't abuse and if it was, it was done out of ignorance of the act. We were children. She didn't know and she loved me. That's just the way it is and she's not a monster. It's why i lied to the cops. It's why i'd lie again if it ever happened twice. She loved me.
>>
>>34525471
>And then he walked away after saying his final goodbye
Kill it, so he can meet his friend.
>>
>>34525479
You can acknowledge it was abuse but still forgive her anon. People forgive abusive family members all the time especially when they become adults and are normal now
>>
I don't owe you anything
>>
>>34525490
There shouldn't be anything to forgive. Everything she was doing was out of care and love (even if it was misguided). She taught me my own sexuality and my own body. She was just trying to care for me and she loved me, i know in my heart of hearts that she did. It wasn't just lust. She didn't know any better, i didn't either. There's nothing to forgive and if I look at it under this light, it wasn't traumatizing, just strange and inappropriate. She loved me and that's what matters in the end, even if what she did was wrong and weird. It's a relieving sensation. i don't need to be a trauma victim if I just look at it in this way.
>>
>>34525326
I'm not one of them, I just laugh at insecure spergs who hate themselves
>>
hating yourself is crazy if you think about it. it's kinda dramatic
>>
>>34525372
I'd rather not use a 3rd part activator, rootkit as they get detected and bounce activation. Annoying to have to reactivate. For whatever reason the automation does not hold.

I have a 5 key volume office professional key so activation is different than typical kms.

Microsoft was no help. I figured out for windows 10 pro that I can just navigate to common files, Microsoft shared, office software protection platform, run ospprearm

Windows 11 laptop activated without even putting in the key.
>>
>>34525531
It was not done "for your own good". That's what the molester attempts to make you think
>>
You will know if it's done in love or done to manipulate. If based in lies then it is manipulation n
>>
>I've been shitposting in a dead thread when this one's up
lol, great.
>>
Got a terribly short haircut after half a year of growing it out and I had just started getting female attention for the first time in my life. It was meant to be a trim but by the time I realized it was too late. I can already tell I'm getting looked at differently and I've never been treated well with hair this short.
>>
2026 has been an incredibly shitty year for me
>>
I don't even know how this day passed. Feels like too much happened but too little to tell, or remember. I've been thinking about someone who used to treat me very badly. Seeing that person in a similar situation and not hurting the new person, made me feel like what they did to me was a choice, because they don't treat me any differently even though they know it's hurting me. Is it because I don't fight back? Or maybe that everytime I did I was beaten in a worse way. I wish I could just run away and forget all of this like a bad dream.
>>
struggling for years now. Thankful for my family and friends even after I pushed everyone away. Feels like I’m soft locked. Feels like my options are terrible. Feels like my mind is a prison. Thanks for reading, anon.
>>
>>34525807
Personality disorder? Illness?
>>
>>34525777
I can't believe it's almost half way over. I haven't done shit
>>
And the longer the police wait to do anything the less hope they are giving to the younger generation as well as anyone suffering from the same problem I’m facing for the sake of salvaging feelings and imposing their opinions of what righteousness is.
>>
My brother-in-law's girlfriend is my type, more so than my wife. She has an awesome body, far better than my wife, who gained 120 pounds after we got married. She also seems like she is very attracted to me. I'm in good shape, take great care of myself. My BIL is the total opposite, an overweight alcoholic -- but a good guy who I wouldn't want to hurt.
My BIL's girlfriend saw my fully hard cock on accident one night while we were all drunk and my wife was giving me head in our bedroom. I'm 8"x5.5" uncut so I'm sure it seared into her memory pretty strongly. She's made a few comments about it since, including "Not sure if [your BIL]'s is bigger... might need to compare..."
She never stops checking me out. She constantly bumps into my feet/legs under tables. One night in a hot tub, she was sliding her legs and feet all up and down my legs anytime my BIL wasn't looking.
When she's sober, she doesn't act like this. And even when I'm drunk, I'm never the aggressor. I just allow it to happen. I like the attention. My wife and I are basically dead bedroom, so it makes me feel appreciated and attractive.
My wife hates her. I'd marry her if we were both single.
>>
i wish someone actually real could touch me like mary does
>>
>Friends suggest going for drinks earlier
>Clearly no one can be bothered so it falls through
>Will now spend the rest of the week paranoid that they all secretly decided to go without me
Thanks, brain.
>>
Hair is turning silver.
>>
>>34526044
Oh don't worry about that, they already did.
I've been in this circle before, your friends are shit.
>>
>>34526044
>>34526061
Found out they're already there, dunno how long they've been there. Highkenuinely blowing my shit smoove off because Jesus Christ
>>
>>34522690
i fucking WORK keeps making me MEET hot irish GINGERS and i cant hit on ANY OF THEM because then ill get in TROUBLE and lost my JOB and become HOMELESS. FUCK MY LIFE.
>>
>>34526119
Again, your friends are shit.
Don't worry, you'll make a better set soon, it's just gonna suck for a couple years.

I've been where you were before. Most importantly, focus on yourself first. Gotta send vibes to get vibes, and yours are low rn.
>>
Is overtraining a form of self-harm? I had a panic attack at the gym and I responded by adding more and more sets to my biceps exercises until my arm couldn't take it anymore. Pretty sure I embarassed myself doing that shit too
>>
>>34522690
Listen bro did you call my house the other day talking shit bro?
>>
Why am I scared of everything?
>>
>>34522690
i cheat chronically on my gf because our relationship is hard as fuck, i love her but i cannot stand her sometimes
>>
>>34526617
You haven't found the joy of enjoying the little things. It comes once you've learned to not let how the conundrum of life get to you. Really hard for most people and something I learned recently. Now I feel chill about life. I don't really care if I don't ever have my dreams come true, because the beauty in life is just those little things.
>>
my moms making me get a job (I'm 20)
I don't wanna get a job
because I'm ugly as sin
nothing to work for
nothing to live for
stupid bitch
I hate everything
I'm not grateful at all
for this life
if ur gonna have a kid and make them ugly
at least let them neet in peace
>>
I have the personality of a dumpster dived cassette player.
>>
>>34526617
Doubt is believing in an outcome not preferable. What you will find in the unknown is only more of yourself.
>>
I gambled what little I had left
I won... and I want to cry... I legitimately wanted to end it all
I wanted to crash out, I wanted to throw it all away... I don't know why I want to cry but I won
I feel... I don't even know, happy sad, all of it.
>>
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I hate my boyfriend so much for something I lied about forgiving him for and I fantasize about shattering his skull every single day. Tonight was bad I could barely act nice and wanted to murder him badly. Should I keep trying to push through? My mother said I should
>>
>>34526755
Break up. He deserves better
>>
>>34526760
I'm the thinnest and prettiest woman he's ever dated
>>
>>34526755
Fuckin same, girl.
>>
>>34526772
You made me listen to "Same Girl"
>>
>>34526789
Nobody was talking to you though
>>
>>34526790
Shut the fuck up. You have nothing going for yourself and need to be chill.
>>
>>34526755
just break up with him if its that bad
>>
>>34526794
Whiny tranny saggy ass amigo
Aww you wanted a little talkie huh
>>
>>34526802
I'm supposed to know you?
>>
>>34526764
Who cares? He deserves better
>>
Imagine not being able to hold a conversation on the internet of all places, that's highly autistic.
>>
Holy fuck neurotypicals, that's a shit ton of negative things you secretly say about autistic people that I just went through.
>>
>>34526527
I know a martial artist who is in his 39s and has already wrecked his body. He has chronic pain from several joints but especially his knees. The joint pain caused him to take too many nsaids and then he had stomach issues. Which then caused some other weird issues. He's not using cbd gummies and ointments to manage chronic pain and he isn't even 40.


Please don't over train. Be nice to your body. You only get one body.
>>
>>34526919
I'm not a neurotypical, you retard.
>>
>>34526922
And I'm not trying to be angry.
>>
I don't care if there's a 16 year age gap, I am emotionally and mentally stunted.
>>
men are so gay now. i want to hit up my old fwb but i know for a fact he rooted trannies. he never said it online but I know he has just from his vibe. Overly nonchalant to the point of having a lobomtized personality. I made a catfish for sex roleplay on soc and he hit me up and it gave me the ick. I want to be a slut but I don't want aids what's a girl to do?
>>
Fuck i feel genuine disgust and hatred at having met you. I wish i never lost my virginity or gotten physical with you. Losing those first times I could have experienced with someone I genuinely trusted. I don't think i can handle looking another person in the eyes. You didn't do anything wrong its all perfectly reasonable but I can't help feeling manipulated and dirty
>>
You will never be mine, so why should I try?
>>
>>34526998
>>34527007
Rent free
>>
>>34527029
Sometimes.
>>
File: 1695556193135.jpg (31 KB, 622x654)
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>two of my coworker friends who were cute girls quit within a month of eachother
>the new hires are all ugly as fuck and normies
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT THESE UGLY BITCHES ALL DAAAAAAAAAAY
>>
>>34527071
You still got a job?
>>
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.
>>
>>34527120
Ay.
>>
>>34527033
Naw rent free
>>
>>34527128
Sometimes. Other times I don't think of them.
>>
>>34526998
That's how important having those first with who you love matters. It means a ton. Repeating these things with who you truly love and loves you is forever tainted
>>
Being a porch pirate in America is pretty fun. It's like playing a looter shooter irl.
>>
I should have received real help before 2025 and the only reason why I haven’t is because of the police seemingly doing nothing to help or fix it unless this is genuinely the first time something like this has happened and they wanted to use me to study how bad people who do this operate which I seriously doubt. Everything that has happened since the end of 2024 is just material showing u what people will do to ensure the bad people are successful as far as I can determine.
That is my life
>>
How much do ADHD meds help? I don't really want to fuck up my brain with chemicles but I must have ADD or something.
>>
>>34527247
They help a lot. The effects are very apparent.
>>
Using as a QTDDTOT but any advice on not loathing coming days and also waking up each day and the stresses which pertain the multiple swords of damacles swining over my head? Any advice on living with a sense of FREEDOM? I don't feel like I can think clearly without a sense of complete freedom. I don't know what lead to me developing a sense I have none but it feels ingrained.
>>
>>34527296
Stop chasing status.
>>
>>34527318
I don't. Perhaps it's instilled in my mind that I must, I've always been congizant of status since I was in like 4th grade. I think I developed some kind of mind virus, possibly as a defense mechanism that came from having an upbringing that's definitely not the sort youd be open about to people. That probably beat something into me.
>>
damn i really be thinking about that bitch(respectful) right now
>>
>>34527328
No I can't. I usually don't have my way. When I do have my way it is when I least expect it. I don't need life to be nice to me anon. If you can live without that, things get easier.
>>
>>34527249
what about the non stimulant kind, do those have any kind of effect?
Those are basically the only things available to me and I am staring to get desperate to fix my brain
>>
>>34527387
If you have any kind of OCD then Adderall is not going to help
>>
>>34526998
Get tested
>>
>tested
I push back on that because I know more than you think
>>
Oh so now it's not such a bad idea when it's the only option left
>>
Some days I just want to get high and sleep
>>
>>34526004
Why not just let Mary?
>>
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I'm completely serious: why is this hot? I've never really processed why my brain gets aroused by seeing this happen to a girl. When a guy gets kicked between the legs it's mostly painfully funny and otherwise unremarkable. But put a female there and suddenly I take interest. Is it because it's not something you see very often, so when I do come across it I notice it more? It feels like it SHOULDN'T matter to me so the fact it does leaves me confused. Instead the media's basically tricked everyone into thinking you can't hurt a girl by kicking her between the legs.
>>
Gosh. I think I might love her. Too bad.
>>
>friends with girl for years
>very cute but depressed, lonely
>complains about not finding bf
>supportive, offer encouragement
>one day, talking about her parents in town to visit
>playfully asked her "when you introducing me to them"
>tells me to "take your meds" and stops contacting me
aight nigger fuck you too
>>
>>34527387
starterra improved my life massively and is nonstimulant



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