I'm 37 and I'm a failure and it's too late for me to turn shit around. I'll be poor until I die. I have no reason to believe that things will improve no matter how hard I try. Unless I am proven wrong, I am killing myself on my 40th, just to not be a burden on others as I get older because things will get worse. If things do get better, I won't but that is extremely unlikely. Every job I've had, I've been a good performer...then they find out I am damaged from autism. After that, I am no longer a top performer, and any chance of making more money goes out the window. I've never made more than $31K a year before taxes. Any advancement has been in name only. I was a supervisor at one point, but I never supervised anyone, in fact I was the only person who worked in that department. I tried going to college, had to drop out because of financial issues. The entire thing was a mistake, now I am paying for it. I got A+ and Network+ Certifications and they ended up expiring because no employer recognized it, most places that picked up the phone told me that they needed me to have a bachelors to even look at a help desk, plus programming knowledge. I risked getting fired trying to get them and I ate 1 ramen meal a day for a few months to afford it. I can't do trades because I was hurt at work and now I am in a wheel chair, which further limits job prospects for me. Basically any job I can get will be replaced by AI at some point. I lost my last job to restructuring because they are going balls deep into AI and Indian labor. Thing is, people have told me ever since I was a kid that I'm stupid and worthless. Being young, I basically told them to fuck off and tried to prove them wrong. In the end, they were right. I was smart to not have kids, because I'm barely feeding myself at this point.
>>34525303How tall are you?
>>345253076'1
I wouldn't be able to stand that kind of life.
>>34525312You can, at least theoretically, still get pussy (i.e. the whole point of living) so it's fine.Money isn't everything in life.
>>34525327Pussy doesn't pay the bills.
>>34525329the whole point of making money is to get pussy.
>>3452530331k a year isn't bad where I'm from. Anyway, you aren't a burden so long as you are caring to those around you and improve their lives through your company
>>34525303>Any tips on killing myself?
>>34525431Already have a plan
>>34525303>Every job I've had, I've been a good performer...then they find out I am damaged from autism. Why would it matter if you have the tism if you are such a good performer? How were you around coworkers, did you ever sperg out?
>>34526106I was fine around coworkers. I don't mask, so every day is a sperg fest. I legit once had a boss call me into the office to scream at me for not disclosing it sooner.
>>34525303since you're already suicidal and nothing matters why not take some crazy risks? It could end up paying off and if not it doesn't matter.
>>34526106>Why would it matter if you have the tism if you are such a good performer? Not OP and probably a bit of a sperg myself. The reason people get promoted is office politics (ie will promoting this guy further my career), not competence. Autists are useless at office politics. They piss off the wrong people and just rub them the wrong way. They don't even have to say anything. If you're in a meeting with upper management and you're not clapping like a seal at their ideas, you know their ideas are retarded and you're just sitting there not saying anything, they won't like you. If the level just above your boss doesn't like you, your manager has no reason to promote you. The best thing you can hope for when that happens is to just keep your job and earn Cost of Living adjustments at every performance review. It doesn't matter if you make the company a million dollars, fix a problem that cost a million dollars that your manager caused. People get promoted to manager, director, VP because they understand the social hierarchy game very well.
Just to add >>34526428 I have never seen a top performer getting promoted beyond just fake promotions at any company I've worked at. It's always some random guy/girl that didn't do a whole lot all year, never came up with any good ideas, or solved any problems. Maybe performance based promotions happens in sales but sales skills correlates with the office politics skills. Maybe it happens if you come up with an incredible breakthrough or something, not just stellar performance, but something that gets people outside the company talking about them.Being too incompetent to realize the ideas of their bosses are retarded is unironically an advantage. You need to be just competent enough to get your work done (pretty easy) and to have people higher up like you. To do that you need to be on the same wavelength as them. If they like you, your boss will feel pressured to promote you.I've accomplished/built things my boss said was impossible but did it get me promoted? lolno>>34525303>I lost my last job to restructuring because they are going balls deep into AI and Indian labor.How's the company's finances?
Furthermore, as long as you judge improvement by getting promoted a few levels in a corrupt system, you'll be dissatisfied.My guess and perhaps I'm wrong is that the system is going to collapse in ways that seemed unimaginable a few years ago. It will make the collapse of the USSR look like a blip.I'm unironically learning to farm. When all's said and done, I hope I can live like the Irish monk on Skellig Michael island following the collapse of the Western Roman Empire. Watching this documentary solved my depression and I recommend watching it to give some perspective.https://youtu.be/DMpoGi1MckQ?t=690
>>34526518Record profits according to the masturbatory company meetings we had to attend every quarter. They handle insurance for tons of companies.
I thought I would apply for an electrical apprenticeship. I know about wiring, I know the code. I am mobile enough where I can move from my chair to the floor and crawl in crawl spaces. Pictured are my closest apprenticeship learning centers, and the red circle is an approximate 30-45 minutes away from my house.
OP here. I am interviewing for a job next week for a Tool and Die maker job apprenticeship which includes paid community college. I likely won't get it because of my age, but I am trying.
>>34525303Hello autism wheelchair anon.I'm sorry to hear about your situation.Having autism is going to fuck you over, but I think people are more likely to immediately notice and judge you based on the wheelchair.Like you said, it'll also block you from certain jobs. Anything desk based is going to be a target for AI.I know you tried finding a job in IT and didn't have much luck, but I'd try again.Make a LinkedIn if you haven't already and post every skill or qualification you can. Make them up even. You can probably still list A+ and Net+ even though they lapsed, as long as it gets you the interview. They likely won't check and even if they do just say oops I didn't notice.LinkedIn might get you a few recruiter messages. Even if they're shit 3 month contracts they can lead to new opportunities.You can also try reaching out to recruiting companies with your resume, but I'm not sure how successful that will be.Programming is a target for AI replacement but it will be nice to have on your resume. Ironically AI is also a good tool to learn programming. Look up popular programming languages and scenarios for IT and do some free online training courses. Pirate books even. Chatgpt and the like can help break down some concepts and help with roadblocks if needed.Finally, it's a meme idea but have you considered going full DEI hire and flaunting your wheelchair/autism? There's a website called abilityJobs that posts for people with disabilities. I'm not sure how good it is but if megacorps need to hit quotas you can help fill them.
