I'm 19 and for the longest time I've never really devoted myself to anything in life. I've neverreally engaged wholeheartedly on the things I did have an interest in out of fear and immaturity, thinking that if I didn't have the "talent" (even though we are born knowing nothing) it wouldn't be worth it to try.I've finally learned that I was trying to do things that required more than what I knew at the time, so instead of trying to run before I could walk, I tried to walk first. But it's not working. I'm supposed to have the humble beginnings where I'm just starting at something until i get to understand it on a deeper level and etc, but when I finally stop to do it, I get terribly anxious and I can't focus. Honestly, this is very frustrating. I went my entire life without really trying to do something and when I finally do, I understand nothing. Maybe the ~4 years of constant distraction and filling my mind with junk was what did a number on me, but even now as I'm trying to at the very least do the first step towards that change, that development on the things i want to learn, I don't see a single progress. No small progress that makes me at least a little proud and confident of what I'm doing, it's as if the hours i've passed trying to do said thing had the same effect as if i were sleeping for this long.I really like computer science and I was being able to learn it at quite a steady rate around 2 years ago but today it's getting harder and harder and I haven't progressed beyond the basics at all.TL;DR I get tremendously anxious whenever I try to learn something new, both because i've distracted myself too much and because I have no confidence in learning something new at all. I expect to get things the way i did in high school where everything would come in easily, knowing full well nowadays I'm both in a different country learning things on a different languge, and that the time between my highschool "enlightened" state of mind and today , alot happened
>>34527382I'd say lower your expectations, but I know it's not that easy.Try forcing yourself to do a bit of it anyways, even if it's killing you to start. Once you start you can either stop or keep going.You have to learn that failure doesn't mean you're not capable of something and that most things come with practice and a lot of effort.I don't know, I kind of understand you as a fellow 19 year old.I know how frustrating it is to not magically be good at something first try. But remind yourself that you're already doing something better than past you by trying!
>>34527388I see. At some point it'll eventually bear fruit, huh? I guess i'll keep on doing it regardless then. The brutal difference between how easy it was to learn stuff then vs now is what discourages me. But if persistance is what'll make me break through this, then be it. Thanks anon
>>34527405I hope it helps,Good luck anon! I believe in you. I'll be cheering you on
>>34527416Thanks again. It does feel better to be doing something, rather that doing nothing like beforegood luck to you too
>>34527435Thank you anon!
>>34527382For fuck's sake, you're 19! Nobody expected you to do anything but survive your teen years (a major accomplishment in itself, and one taking all your resources).
>19>I am this>I am thatyou don't know shit about fuck, just assume everything you know and your expectations are wrong, and shut the fuck up
