i wish you never abandoned me when i needed you the most. i don't want to blame you for anything, that's not my goal, i'm trying to say that if had just been there, i would still be okay now.

in hindsight if you needed a year's worth of time to figure out that you loved me it doesn't matter what you believe, it's just not true. how could it be?

DEATH TO ALL AVOIDANTS

Remember when you had to be a pedophile to be called a pedophile? Nowadays the phrase is thrown around like peanuts by zoomers playing chinese whispers with logic, jumping to the wildest conclusions just because things make them uncomfortable. It used to be that if you didn't like something you'd make fun of it and let it go, but now there's this idea that you need to have one of the peer reviewed psycho-philosopho-socio-approved opinions on every subject and you need to crusade against the things you don't like.

God people are fucking annoying

kms

>>34531550
whats up sean?

DEATH TO ALL ADHD

>>34531548
>Remember when you had to be a pedophile to be called a pedophile?
no no one called that actually

I hate when im talking to customer support and have trouble understanding their accent

Holy shit, im tired of waiting. Its been 2 weeks and a couple a days since my account hasn't been activated. Come on, activate it so I can make my own money.

I wish I wasn't so stubborn

File: 004.jpg (159 KB, 1308x1080)

159 KB JPG

I've finally resigned myself to it. I'm just going to let my eating disorder have me. Therapists are too incompetent, I can't tell anybody in my real life because they'd freak out or not take my seriously since I'm not sick enough (that's two therapist that asummed me binge/restrict btw. I am anorexic exclusively, 600-800 cals a day. second time just sealed the deal.) and I can't fix this by myself. I'm 8 pounds from underweight and according to my scale, my bodyfat is underweight already and it shows. Looking in the mirror is just... chilling.

It's just... kinda over. This could kill me. This could land me with severe health issues if it doesn't, my teeth are already rotting away and i can't go to the dentist because they'll fucking know. Can't go to my primary doc because she'll see this immediately. So I'm up a creek without a paddle, i'm in this all on my own and my best isn't even close to enough. I've given up. I'll let it have everything I am, as if I even have a choice at this point.

I think im fucking done, i feel like im to old to be chasing woman cause im about to enter my 30s, and i simply dont understand why it is so hard for me to get female attention, i hate that discourse of "you need to be comfortable being alone." I am comfortable, I've been living alone for 10 years and I feel complete in other aspects of life, I have my own place, I have a car, I have a nice job, I have friends, I have hobbies, I have skills that I capitalize outside of my regular job, so what if I wanna be with someone? why do I have to be 'better' or being 'comfortable' to date? and what am i doing wrong as to get rejected on and on? I'm not angry, im just genuinely confused and disappointed

>>34531661
It's interesting because I'm a land whale who finds I eat to soothe anxiety or sadness or loneliness all the time. If something bad happens in my life I just start shoveling in food or snacks without thinking about it. I've literally binged while stressing out and it didn't consciously occur to me what I was doing. Being a land whale is going to reduce my lifespan but nobody seems to take it seriously. I tell people I binge and they say stuff like "okay, maybe try not doing that" and roll their eyes. I don't even do it on purpose. I've thought about just not eating at all. But food becomes an addiction at my level. I'm so used to eating too much that a normal amount feels like I'm starving myself. Even if I ate at a deficit every single day it would take half a year to get to my ideal weight.


I'm so fucking cooked. Both extremes of eating or not eating are bad.

I think a reason why relationships don't last nowadays is everyone thinks something is wrong if it makes them miserable.

>>34531703
Same. They just tell me "well try eating two meals a day instead of one, this is harmful." Like no shit man, I guessed that bit on my own. The problem is the psychological draw. Any monkey can make me eat more or make you eat less, but it's psychologically damaging to a great degree that even if you do it once or twice, it's impossible to sustain and that's the key to food intake. It's not a once or twice thing, it has to be a long haul. And just like you, eating more than usual feels like I pigged out. I ate yogurt for breakfast yesterday (I never eat breakfast like ever) and my stomach hurt and I felt bloated as though I'd eaten a whole thanksgiving turkey. I felt angry all day, like genuinely angry.

Same. Man I am so completely fucked. I hope you figure out a solution I can't because my fucking god, I can't fucking figure it out.

masculinity might be the ultimate stupid game for stupid prizes
fuck this gay earth
at least I dont have a girlbrain lmao

>>34531559
im fine, i just have a lot of work to do
>>34531563
we're genetically superior, normies are the genetic byproduct of serfdom

You know what it's my fault. It's my fault for trusting a white guy with dreads

>finally get an interview after eight months of trying
>out of work for 7 years
>kept applying entire time
>sometimes two years go by between interviews
>immediately rejected
Bright side, at least my parents aren't blaming me anymore. They stopped when I got rejected from the fast food places around town. I guess I'll go back to substitute teaching, but this time I'm only going to do high school.

>>34531733
I didn't realize I had a problem until I started writing down what I ate and when, and I immediately noticed I ate snacks at meal time and binged when nobody was around. I don't like eating in front of other people. I feel judged.

I don't expect other people to care. But I thought there would be more... effort.... put into eating disorders ? It feels like being depressed or bipolar or whatever is very well established and researched. But eating disorders are just an afterthought.

If I don't start losing weight in the next few years my risk factors for a lot of health problems will skyrocket. I don't want to do inpatient fat camp or psych ward, but I can't keep binging thousands of calories every week either. On some level I wish I didn't have to eat. If I ever figured out how to handle hunger pains I think I'd flip from binging to not eating. That's not a good thing. There's something wrong in me where I'm using and abusing food to deal with other issues I have.

I HAVE ABOUT 3 MORE HOURS TO CLEAN THE HOUSE AND STILL NEED TO HOOVER THE ENTIRE UPSTAIRS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FML

I had a dream last night we were together. We had a nice house out in the woods, your career had taken off and I found a job I could tolerate. But it wasn’t a workday, and we were sitting out in the yard on a sunny day, quietly watching our two kids run around. Life was good.

I want to be in love with someone who is in love with me, but alas.. I don't foresee that ever happening. I have hope and faith, but my own heart beats me down and my mind tends to poision me with negativity in every situation.
I am crying out and wishing things were better.

>>34531842
Most people don't even know what to do. It's a long road in reverse and while I can't say much for binging, anorexia is something akin to an addictive psychosis. My early journal entries when I first relapsed sound genuinely insane. How do you help someone out of that? Especially when most people don't look deeper than "just eat more, just eat less" because it's the symptom not the cause.

What I would suggest, if it helps any, is to find the root of it. My ED is tangled deeply in trauma so that only way out is in that. It simply will never leave me alone until I do. If you can find where it stems from, it's possible in theory to find a way out but I have and well... I'm probably on my way to the hospital in about 2-4 months.

>>34531882
Pay me money and ill do it. I like cleaning, but I take small breaks

>>34531593
They should speak English. It should be an American voice unironically. Maybe AI should take over as customer support.

>>34531997
I'm a hoarder :(

>>34532015
Damn. Just throw away things you dont need and donate clothes.

>>34532023
YOU SAY IT LIKE IT'S EASY

Fuck OCD

>>34532029
what dat ocd do

FUCK OCD SUFFERERS

it's time to put the bottle down.

I wish my petite brown professional woman was mine.

i miss my man

i am no longer attracted to him after finding out both his parents are dead

>>34532055
absolutely, me first ;)

>>34532174
thats messed up. my dad didnt have his parents growing up because they died

it's over.

boyfie coming over today yay yippee

>>34532174
You have no idea how good you have it

Making records of the things you wouldn't lose
All because between me and him you couldn't choose

This world is hell

>>34532514
Yup.