When and how did you stop feeling like a little boy in a man's body?
>>34531798The first time I paid rent on my own place.When I stood in my kitchen devoid of fridge or oven, and valued for the first time everything my parents did for me.
>>34531810Honestly I think this is the default. Most guys I've talked to seemed to lock the fuck in as a man once they were fully on their own.
Idk, sometimes at work I'll have to talk to like management or staff at a building I'm working at and I have authority to tell them what I need from them to do my job and it feels like im respected like an adult. Its a pretty nice feeling. Basically knowing a lot about something important and having someone look to you for answers about it makes you feel like an adult.
>>34531810>>34531825These can be dispelled. You're not a man just because you do chores, they're a necessity. You can command people but only see them as more incompetent than you, that doesn't give the sense you've come far, only that others aren't doing enough.Maybe you feel like a man when you have a kid and he absolutely depends on you to be an adult, that if you fuck up his life gets broken as well. A dog doesn't cut it because it doesn't have those stakes.
>>34531852>These can be dispelledWell, don'tOnly in here could you be asked for a personal anecdote and still told you're wrong.
>>34531852I mean if you're this much of a cynic then I guess it'll be hard to feel good about yourself ever.
>>34531866I mean, isn't the point of these threads to offer some universal truth? It's obvious different people can be content with different levels of stuff. The more broken you get the harder you would feel accomplishment. Of course all of it revolves around independency, the more independent you were growing up, the least you'd need to feel like a grown up. I bet there's people who have children and still feel like children themselves being coddled by their wives or something, maybe there's someone fully homeless and still can't feel like the owner of his choices.
>>34531902It'll be hard but there's the challenge no? Can't give up just because the world is shit.
>>34531919>I mean, isn't the point of these threads to offer some universal truth? I'd have said the point of this thread is for OP to ask /adv/ when and how they stopped feeling like a little boy in a man's body, anon.
>>34531924The challenge is to like yourself while being a massive cynic?How about try to be less of a cynic
I still don't feel like a man at 34 years old. First off I'm 5'5 so I'm physically smaller than almost everyone else. I'm physically weak. I constantly fail at being consistent with strength training and diet so I never make any real progress. I'm mentally weak. I have various diagnosed illnesses and tried getting treatment for over a decade but nothing has helped. I think the worst thing as a man is learned helplessness. Mine is extremely bad and I have no self-esteem nor confidence in myself to do anything. I also have a really bad inferiority complex on top of my diagnosed illnesses like social anxiety, treatment resistant depression, and avoidant personality disorder. I've never had sex. I have no social life. I'm afraid of going outside and doing the most basic shit. Even something like mowing the lawn is terrifying for me and I pay someone else to do it. I don't really have any hobbies or skills. The only good thing is I own a house and make decent money working from home. I'm a complete mess everywhere else. I'll be 35 soon and I feel like the despair gets worse as I get older. I've never felt like a man. Maybe to some people I seem "normal" but in reality I'm a mentally ill fuckup
>>34532108I know it seems rote given the context, but you should at least be proud of your homeownership. That's a huge milestone that you've passed.>Even something like mowing the lawn is terrifying for me and I pay someone else to do it.Can I ask why, what the thought process which drives this fear is? No hate or judgment from me.Are you afraid of people seeing you cut the grass, or of messing up doing so?This one really interests me, because never in my life have I ever heard someone fire up a lawnmower, then immediately seeked out a window to watch them. Shit's background noise.I have friends like this, and I've never understood it. I get the fear of social interactions and public speaking and so on, but surely mowing the lawn is a personal task that just happens to be outdoors, and on your own property at that.
>>34531987That's yet a more difficult challenge. First we try to make sense of the world, then how would you go about unmaking sense of it, specially when there's litterally evidence of it other than gaslighting? Easier to find the very few diamonds that remain out there.
>>34532140Understand the things you can change and accept the things you can not. Then focus yourself on the things in life that make you happy and that you can effect. Cynics often focus on things that they cannot change that dont make them happy.
>>34531798when you take risks. i felt like a little boy until I became homeless for the first time. in that short time i had to fend for myself. i only relied on myself to get myself out of it. i also started working out. i got a job by myself. i went to college and finished my degree (by myself). if you feel this way as an adult, its probably because your parents failed you. you need to start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to build confidence
>>34531798not sure. i'm now 1 year as a grad student and still feel like i have not graduated high school. additionally i just learned i have the testosterone levels of someone in his 50s, the irony.at this point it seems like i'll only stop feeling like a little boy once i repaint a wall with my brains.i just wish i could have a normal life trajectory. if there was ever an indictment of the 20th and 21st century it would be the fact that i was not aborted and am considered a "functioning" member of society. i guess if they just want bugs instead of flesh and blood, thinking and feeling, capable of acting humans, that means whatevers being done is working...
>>34532151Crazy cope. I'm focusing on things I can change that are lengthy and hard tasks, that give me some credential to earn the means to buy conditions I can change. I'm also told by people around me to look out for the things I can't change to change myself to a location where things aren't changing that much. Mind you the quote was created by an ex-soldier monk in the 12th century who at most saw shit happening, not some self-made guy who had to pull strings all his life so shit wouldn't hit the fan.
>>34532131It's a 700sqft house. It's nothing special. I don't feel proud about it at all. I honestly hate it sometimes. I could have gotten a better house back in 2022. It's hard to feel proud too when so many other people my age or younger have way nicer houses. Honestly I feel ashamed. Anyways, yes I'm both afraid of people seeing me as well as fucking things up. Neighbors watching, people walking or driving by. In general I don't like showing myself to the world. I don't want anyone to see me. I guess it's an overwhelming feeling of shame. I don't want anyone to look at me so I avoid going outside as much as possible. I don't really want to interact with the outside world because I feel that I don't belong in it or belong around people
I'm about to turn 39, I've been married and divorced, I earn 6 figures, I own four vehicles outright, my only debt is the mortgage on my house (of which I'm the only owner), and my kids are in their teens. Yet sometimes I still feel like a damn kid myself and have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I'm not sure it'll ever go away, you just keep acting like you know what you're doing.
>>34531798Beat the shit out of a bear
>>34532180Yea its a cope, but you have to learn to cope in a world where everyone is bombarded with all of the world's problems as if they are problems of their own. You have to cope and you have to change your perspective to focus just on things that actually matter to you and that you can do something about.
>>34532166>i guess if they just want bugs instead of flesh and blood, thinking and feeling, capable of acting humans, that means whatevers being done is working...indeed
>>34531798I dunno. I'm 6'4, make 6 figures, have kids, work out. I just feel like an overgrown child. I think maybe it's 4chan culture permeating its way into my mind with its juvenile nature.
>>34531798In the precise moment I am aware every other man feels the same more or less it doesn't bother me as much.
>>34531798Wait, that’s supposed to stop?
first time i sold a photograph. had worthless parents and went to a shitty school that all said art was useless and everyone from our county only became oil field workers or mechanics or stupid hick shit. saving money from my high school job to get the camera i wanted and having someone recognize value in what i had seen was the first time i created something of my own accord. i had to develop my own ability with no help or nurturance from anyone in my life
never
>>34531798>When and how did you stop feeling like a little boy in a man's body?I've had the opposite problem my entire life, I always felt like a man in my body, even when I was a child. I never had an innocent childhood and my inner child is dead.
>>34532582There there anon, we are all lil buds in this thread.
>>34531810> valued for the first time everything my parents did for me.I know it's egocentrical on my end to even comment this but this part made me realize that for me, adult responsibilities were a relief, just as long as I got to escape my family and not depend on them anymore
>>34531798Everyone will likely have different opinions on what a "man" is. For me it was when my default thought process was to always put others first. What I mean is always thinking my decisions through and making sure I am putting everyone else before myself. I could work some shitty easy job and make enough to live, I am not a material person. But not having a good job means I could never put my parents first, I could not be their first contact if THEY needed help. I could live with myself being a fat fuck, but my sister had a little girl, and I knew I could not put my niece first and be the cool fun uncle who played with her anytime she asked if I was an out of shape bean bag. When I was still a boy, I would strive to be reliable and I wanted to be a man. But even as a young adult there was still internal debates with myself, a small example since I'm just going off the top of my head here. I've always been scared of spiders, even the little ones. I had a girlfriend over and she saw a spider and started to panic. Internally, I knew I had to deal with the situation but I didn't really want to. I still did it. I put on the brave face and dealt with the issue. But deep down I was hoping she would be some expert spider slayer. But those days are gone, there is never any internal doubt. A crack head stepped to me and my friends I had just made when we were in Atlanta for a gaming convention. I stepped between them and made him back off without anything getting violent. To me, I guess, being a man means putting everyone else over myself. Being reliable without having a second of doubt.
>>34532640You da man anon
>>34531798When I realized that not just one but both of my parents are raging narcissists who will never recover and all my friendships were never real because I was a scapegoat used to getting treated like shit. I realized I had no support system and that it was do or die now. It's kind of like getting out of jail... or a cult.
>>34531798never lol
Do you think Jack Hanma experiences this? Probably not. Know why? Because his life goal is naturally masculine, which leads him to cultivation and self realization of his divine masculine.
>>34531798over time you just feel like less of a child if you've been on the self improving journey since your early 20sI still feel young at 29. I like throwing sticking in the river to see where they go and stuff
