>>34534288
Vodka

>>34534288
If you had that kind of money the bank would be calling you first and giving you the direct line to a financial advisor at the closest branch.

>>34534288
just start up an investment account at whatever peopple use to invest in your cuntry with
select stonks or index funds at put it in
schrimple as

>>34534288
wagie's literally get paid to handle retards like you, dw abt it you'll do just fine

>>34534288
youre not a moron for giving a shit about where your money goes

>>34534873
also, while they’re explaining things, say stuff like 'ohhh’ ‘I didn’t know that' or ‘thanks’ it makes them feel like they’re actually teaching you something new and it makes them feel good about themselves

>>34534288
Sounds like a really bad anxiety disorder. I'd talk to your doctor about options if you have one.
Practice calling someone you know. Im sure your mom or dad would be happy to spend a few minutes with you. Maybe they can give you advice, too.

>>34534288
>>hi my name is anon and I have some money I'd like to invest can you tell me how that works
Lol why would you do that? Read Boglehead's Guide.

>>34534288
I find that often when doing something gives me anxiety it's genuinely because I shouldn't even do it.
Cold-Calling the bank for investment advice is naive. The people who answer the phones are wagie NPCs. If they knew about investing they wouldn't even have that job answering phones.
Instead, read articles about it, talk to LLMs, of course taking into account they hallucinate sometimes, look on online discussions, like F.I.RE. communities.
In the end the best thing will probably be you make some online account with a different bank. If you call your bank they are just going to limit you to whatever possibly subpar investment programs they have. The wagie will connect you with some inept salesperson who will push fluff and B.S. on you.
>>34534298
wtf are you talking about. Someone can start investing with any amount of money. And I've had six figures sitting in the bank before and no one called me. In my experience they just offer you credit cards.

>>34534288
>apply for eye surgery
>they say I need a doctors opinion first
>oh ok
>try to call hospital
>they dont answer
>4 years pass
>i still havent called them or another doctor for appointment
>still wearing shitty glasses
>procedure is more expensive now
yeah

>>34534288
Pretend you are someone else.
Pretend you're working for someone, and it's just your job to get these tasks done.

>>34535001
OP, this is a mixed advice. Ppl doing wahie jobs shouldn't distract you from the fact that they can make or receive calls, and successfully carry out mundane conversations to get social things done.

Remind yourself that you are safe, that you aren't being physically attacked. That whatever they may think of you, or may try to steer you into a direction of the conversation cannot devour you.
You've, not by any fault of yours, allowed social antics and its nuances to become this hydra like being which is having psychosomatic consequences. You are inadvertently fearing societal death and equating it to actual death. You are safe anon. Just think of a few questions that you'd like to ask about. Have a mock call with an AI to train the actual call, and call buddy.
Lemme know how you do.

>>34534288
Gotta fix that anon. Have to just do it. Repeat it a bunch, it's like exposure therapy. Explore your mind. Figure out the reasons, and answer your anxieties. Have faith in yourself.

>>34535001
>six figures inflating away in a savings account
I'm laffin

>>34534288
>hi my name is anon and I have some money I'd like to invest can you tell me how that works
They're going to exploit you, you should learn how to invest it yourself.

>>34534288
When talking face to face, we rely A LOT on watching their responses to reassure us that we're being understood. We don't get that on the phone.

If it really is crippling, drive down to the bank and talk to someone in person

You need to do exposure therapy. That's all