I had almost 2 years of relationship. I am a woman btw. He couldn't get his thing in me, so we just had sex without penetration. I didn't want to. I know it now that i wasn't actually in live with him, he was just a good friend and the only one I could rely on after my dad died. So in august last year I broke up with him. He didn't want it, refused it and even begged to just make a pause. I said after a week that that's it, no more. After two months a got together with another one...he broke up with me after 5 month's. While this relationship, I had a last talk with my first ex in november last year and that was for him the end. Then in april I found out trough my second ex that the first one made a document about me. 150 sites long. There facts in it, obviously...but many things were made up with the intention of ruining me. He said I cheated on him ' cause we break up at november (he refused the break up onesided) then said I cheated on him wirh my second ex (I literally didn't even caught on my feeling on him until september!!!). Then he said I wasn't even a virgin and I would do anything for money. I am not in the best financial situation and he is using it actively against me. After that I found out that this document is circulating in my workplace. I was devastated. I was by the police and the company and explained the situation, I filed charges. The he wrote me today, that how do I think I am? That he wants peace and this and that....then why did you do it to begin with? What can I do?
You both sound like immature assholes for different reasons, though the scale of his vengeance far outweighs the scale of you being inconsiderate of his feelings.
I was inexperienced enough to not know if I actually had feelings for him or not. And his timing was very inconvenient at the time 'cause my first ex was the only one I could talk to after my dad died. And 2-3 after that he confesses in a letter and sais my answer decides if he still wants to speak to me
>>34534756You did not have romantic feelings for him, and that's fine. Clearly he was holding onto strong feelings. And yes, you were immature to not understand your own feelings and haphazardly jump into a relationship that was clearly one-sided. He clearly loved you a lot, so allowing it to progress to the degree it did was not right, and from the way you phrased things, it sounds like you decided to break up with him without prior warning, he managed to negotiate a bit more time, and you gave it a week because you were already ready to move on from him. I'm not saying you should have stayed with him forever, but you should have talked things out with him. You should have argued with him and fought at times and come to understand one another better. This wasn't just about you understanding he's not right for you, but helping him understand you're not right for him.From what it sounds like, he's also dumb and immature and went on a retarded vendetta. He clearly still has feelings for you and is hoping against hope that you take him back. The chemicals in the brain that create romantic love are, for all intents and purposes, equivalent to a drug addiction, and like addictions, some people respond harder than others. This guy is blindly chasing the source of the chemical with zero self-awareness, and he lashed out in public like an idiot and still expects that he'd be taken back. He blew his chance and he should deal with the emotional fallout and get over it.But the two of you should have behaved like adults from the start.
Prior to the august one, i tried 3 times to break up with him. Maybe because of this, is he so revengeful...i actually don't know what to do. I tried really hard to break up with him, but the moment he began to speak I changed my mind...but the last one in august I actually got support to do it....
>>34534654Im sorry to hear about that. If its circulating your workplace thats really scary and can mean financial damages to you. If you have the means, lawyer up.You did what you could with the police.Lock your doors. Lock your windows. Keep a knife or gun on you while you sleep. Watch your back. guys like these can be stalkers.If you feel comfortable, work with your boss to make sure you dont have any professional repercussions over lies and a shitty ex. Especially if she's also a woman; men tend to be deeply unempathetic with women and exes.
>>34534654>That he wants peace and this and that>What can I do?Don't accept peace. You have to take him to court and make him pay.
>>34534654>What can I do?Continue to press charges. He's only being nice because he knows he's in trouble. Don't reply to him and forward everything he sends you to your lawyer or the police.
He just called me several times across several plattforms. He wants that I drop the charges and that I just do it, because I am scared of the truth...my patience is growing really thin.
>>34534654That sucks. It probably will affect you less than you think. Make sure everyone knows he's some retarded psycho.
>>34534857Well that paints you a bit more reasonably, though I still think the timing should have gone as>Be friends>Tragedy>Friendship progresses to romance following tragedy>Realize you may have made a hasty decision and lack the romantic interestChange course here>Try and talk things out and voice concerns and honesty because at this point, he's still your friend in addition to your boyfriend, and you may be able to get him to make changes to become more to your preferences>See if things work>And if they don't>Talk it out again honestly ("You've been trying and I really appreciate that from the bottom of my heart, but it's not working for me. I still love you as a friend and the fact you've tried is why I don't want to lose you as one, but if I try to force myself to be in love with you, that won't be real for me, and I'll only come to resent you and really lose you. That's not what I want. I still want you to be a part of my life, and I know you must notice too how it's just not working for me" etc.>Try to split from that while giving time and space for him to heal (because it's likely him who's going to be hurt the most here)And if this doesn't work and he behaves the same way after, you can have zero regrets. When someone owns your heart, you have to be careful.It's too late to go about things this way, but keep it in mind for the future.But regardless of any of this, right now he's acting like a volatile manchild flailing around and trying to hurt you for being inconsiderate to him but he's also totally desperate for you.
At some point it will be too much and I have a feeling that I need a therapist (unfortunately I have some suicidal toughts). I don't know why this needs to go so far. Why is it worth f*cking over your own life and the others. I am even being watched by some colleagues because he send them this document and actually expended it after they told stuff about me. Just because I was too friendly to the male staff, I am being accused for cheating while in the relationship and that I am some b*tch because of that and because where I came from. Like your origin can describe if you are that or not. Because of some statistics and rumors about me that are over blown of proportions. And I don't really somebody to talk about...it's too much shit for the people and they don't want to be even a little bit part of it 'cause it effects their lifes too. Then where should I go to or lean on damn
You slutted out for money instead of pursuing love with someone else who naturally loves and supports you. , f's your brains out. It's on you because you chose the wrong path
>>34535394Look, I assume you're still pretty young. You're not going to be at your current job in 20 years, or even 5, and even in those 5 years, a lot of people will walk in and out and not even know you or about this incident, and should they ever hear anything, it's going to be a very short summary and "Whoa, that must have sucked"The situation is stupid and he's acting childish and this won't even be relevant later in your life. Life might be shit for a bit right now, but this is temporary and very tiny in the grand scheme of things. What you do is move forward with lessons learned.
The first one loved me but at the same time disregarded my toughts, said I was intelectually dumb and o womans place is in the kitchen. He even said that I am an example for it why women shouldn't vote. I kinda liked him as a friend but in a relationship experienced first how he is. I am not without fault because I stayed far too long fearing how he might feel and that I actually didn't give him a genuine chance....but actually I was kinda stupid and stuck in the situation. I kinda felt comforted by his presence but I should have known that him getting on my nerve was a big sign not loving him. I should have been strong enough from the beginning and just saying I don't know and most öikely don't feel the same. But until my second ex I didn't really know how love feels like and just assumed it's like in the movies or animes. Like how could I be so stupid. But even if somebody pointed it out to me, i wouldn't have believed them anyway...why I am a person who is digging her hole deeper and deeper without an end in sight. I see where my second ex came from that he wanted for me to be a bit more mature.
