Is it his first time aswell? If he had sex before let him take the lead and let him know if he's going too fast, if something hurts, if it's okay to keep going, ect. Communication is key during sex, once you get the hang of how he feels, everything should go in place.

>>34534844
Yes, we talked about this topic. This isn't his first time, and I immediately told him to let him deal with everything. I also told him to be gentle with me, since we have a very big height difference, and he's much bigger than me.

>>34534841
Don't do anything you don't want to.

Accept that it very likely will be a bit of a disappointment. (It always is the first time. Even experienced couples have to learn each other's rhythms)

Have a sense of humor. Enjoy the awkwardness. Giggle together.

Look forward to the very much better second time.

>>34534841
The fact that he has had sex before does not mean he will necessarily be any good at it.

If you want my advice: don't try to jump straight from nothing to full sex in one go. Work up to it gradually over the course of at least several days, and preferably longer, starting with simple cuddling. Make sure you're completely comfortable at any given level before you try to escalate things.

An unfortunate thing about sex is that if you're nervous, it will suck. An awful lot of what makes sex good (especially for a woman) is mental rather than physical. Feeling really comfortable and safe is essential to having a good time.

Beyond that, I would say:

- Have a serious think about what you're going to do about contraception. Some methods need to be in place anything up to a few weeks in advance, so make a plan; don't leave it to the last minute.

- Insist that he is tested for STDs just before he comes to see you. That should include testing for Chlamydia, Gonnorhea, Syphilis, HIV, Hepatitis A, B and C, and if possible a blood test for herpes and a test for HPV. (If you're not vaccinated against HPV you should be - do it now! - but the vaccine doesn't cover some of the less common strains).

- Communication is absolutely essential in sex. Make sure *he* understands that. Take things slowly, tell him what feels good and what doesn't, and encourage him to do the same. Feel free to experiment.

- Ignore EVERYTHING you think you know from porn. It's not real.

- Remember you have an ABSOLUTE right to say what you are and aren't comfortable with. Don't let him push you into anything you don't feel ready for.

- Don't do anything you don't feel enthusiastic about doing.

>>34534841
Very sound advice given overall.
If I could give advice on something more practical, remember to stay hydrated, have protection and not force yourself (physically speaking) and pee after sex. Seriously, pee after sex.

He is your boyfriend and as such he should treat this with respect (and same goes for girlfriends or any person, really), so a person respecting your pace and sensibilities in such a moment is what should happen, not something exceptional and rare.

Take it slow and try to develop a sense of comfort. I personally had a good first time (with a rocky start, but overall good) so go at it with no expectations other than you and your bf wanting to do something fun and loving. Neither should force yourselves or eachother into anything, and both should be understanding.

Good luck.

>>34534885
>we have a very big height difference, and he's much bigger than me.
If that's the case you might consider cowgirl position the first time you have penetrative sex. That has the advantage that you can control the speed and force and depth yourself; it's also one of the easier positions if there's a big height difference. You could possibly also try doggy with you on the bed and him standing on the floor. But missionary can be a bit tricky if your face ends up level with his chest!

>>34535027
I feel really bad mentally, to be honest... I also experienced rape, let's say. I was simply tortured and used as a toy. There was no penetration because I resisted well. And sometimes, even during some more sexual conversation with him, I have flashbacks and a panic attack. I'm afraid I'll ruin everything.

>>34535087
I don't know if I can do it, my body is very weak and my back hurts from every movement, roughly speaking. And yes, I'm about chest-high to him.

>>34535130
How long is your boyfriend going to be staying with you? If you have something like an attempted rape to get over, then it will be even more important to work up to sex very gradually - over at least several weeks, if at all possible. You need to start with just cuddling fully dressed, get used to that, then move to gentle touching and stroking while undressed, but initially avoiding any sexual parts of the body. It's important to get comfortable with, and to learn to enjoy, touch in a way that you know *isn't* going to turn into sex. It's only after you've done that that actually being sexual will be pleasant.

I hope your boyfriend knows about this?

>>34535197
Only my older brother and you know about this. I told my boyfriend that "I was bullied, forced to do indecent things and such." That's all, I just want to take this to my grave. He's coming over for a couple of days. I've been having doubts about sex lately, but I'm afraid I'll regret missing the chance, or something?

>>34535220
You really should bring this up with him, if he cares about you he'll understand and it sounds like you haven't fully healed yet. If you start freaking out or tensing/crying when he's mid feeling you up you're both going to feel awful.

>>34535220
You need to tell him. It's deeply unfair on him to expect him to have sex with you without knowing about that. Imagine for a moment that he's broken his wrist, and has sex with you, and you keep playfully pulling on his hand and causing him excruciating pain: you would want to know that his wrist was broken, so you could stop unintentionally hurting him, right? It's the same for him. He needs to know. And your relationship won't survive in the long term if you can't talk to him about stuff like this.