hi. im a 23yo man and i honestly dont know if there's anything left for me at this point. let me explain. About 4 years ago i had to leave my mom and my brother due to problems with her fianceé who did not really like men at all. In the position i was as an inmigrant, i was in the making of my papers to be legal there. Problem is that my mom isn't the brightest tool in the shed and basically ended up with a really abusive wife. Due to this, she usually clashed a lot with me just over the fact that i "was a man" and should leave her house as soon as possible. I was 18, and all the knowledge i had at the point was how to serve tables. It came to a point that i would just sleep in the garage in hopes she wouldnt start making noises as soon as she noticed me sleeping at 10 pm. I had to leave her because after separating once from this woman, she came back doing her best to get my mom back, even when my own mother was with another partnet at that point. Suffices to say my mother dragged me into this mess and when she went back with her abusive fianceé, i was living with her ex girlfriend due to me not having where to spend the night. Then she had the brightest idea ever: cheat. Long story short she got herself blackmailed and i got kicked out of her house, going back to hers. There wasn't a single day where she wouldn't go at me "so, do you have anything already or are you still lazy?" and i was busting myself serving tables 13hrs daily. I felt completely dishearted with the situation, and even spent a couple days on streets due to this. Seeing this whole lot of bs, i just took a job offer in another country, perú, to try and fix myself. Spoiler: went really bad. Point is, i met again who i took as my child love after years of no contact,she was living in colombia and she was really happy to know about me and super eager to get me out of that precarious situation i was living there.
Another long story short, im once again hitting the road with my life in my bags dillydallying about how good was gonna be my life now. Job, girlfriend and a place to myself. Eat my food, work my part, that kind of stuff. Just 21 and a dream finally(? coming thru? Nah. She cheated between the first and second week i got here just because "she didn't feel good at all" and it was just me nervous because she wouldn't stop asking me if i would get her pregnant and if i wanted kids soon. I got super nervous because it was my bday and spending my 21st bday thinking about a possible kid got me super confused because weren't we supposed to enjoy each other? It was my bad appareantly for not knowing how bipolar women work and ruining her perception on me as a man. Aaanyways. I was an absolute moron thinking "f but i can fix this" and she wouldnt just stop apologizing, throwing herself at my feet, asking for forgiveness as tears would hit my toes and i couldnt even feel disgust my stupid sss would just think "shes hurting... right?" but i was so dumb. History made short, i spent 6 months going to therapy doing my best to not let my BPD keep tking control of me because i was also convinced by her and her best friend that i was the true problem. Why would I keep doubting her? Am i some kind of psycho? she was sorry! All of this while she would be shown how she was getting her back blown while i was playing with my friends on the living room. Ugh. So after some time, "gf" grows tired of me because i would take less and less of her shit every time. Her last resort to "try" me? Which is honestly also the most disgusting thing i ever experienced? Getting herself pregnant. Me? The other dude? No idea. But she was pregnant and she was SURE, ADAMANT that it was me. But at the same time she wasnt, simply by the fact i really wasnt bothered by it.
I've always been someone super perceptive and honestly the last time i turned that gut sense off, well, all of this happened. I should paid attention to myself when i was doubting. But meds and psych got me on the less i know the better mode. At this point shes 7 days pregnant and i have to take her to the clinic, while asking me to pay for the whole procedure. I told her i wouldnt do it and she basically said top 1 giveaway ever. "Wont you do at least a DNA test? I thought you would want to" and i just said "i know its not mine, because if it was you wouldnt doubt it" and after that is just a blur. She did it, and i was honestly bothered with my work trying to make the money i was losing buying food at home. It is baffling to me that even in that state she was still cheating, but well people are weird sometimes, no? Its at this point i start getting along with her friend, and she would like drop info by tiny super malformed "facts" that i was just too drugged to even notice. I got sick multiple times during this time, adding to the pile of problems i had. So, i take the decision to leave because she would start getting more and more irascional at me so we broke up. During this time she would still kiss me, ask me to sex her and whatnot. I really hate this period of my life because getting my rage taken away from me did numbers on my psyche and my reality. Im not blaming meds in any case but damn. I find a place, and then the realization breaks my brain in half. What am i gonna do now? I know no one here, im absolutely alone!! Notice how i never mentioned anything about papers being here? I also got lied to like a mf. She would go "no you cant get ppt now, but youll be ablee to later and if anything my uncle works at the govt cell in charge of it so we just paay him and we're good!" and I JUST BELIEVED HER. What a tool. Some time passes, my passport is now expired and i dont even have a work permit.
that's really hard to read anon i in my opinion you should think about how to get your money up instead of any of thatde-center women
I pass by some months doing some translations here and there for some friends i had in discord at the time tht would need either classes or documents translated and they were such kind souls being that they could just DeepL and chatgpt it, gave me a $15 and i would do in a pinch. But then they just blocked me. I was still friend with now ex-gf best friend that also got lied to and betrayed, and bonded over being hurt by that crazy bitch. Now 2 years later, im unable to get myself a job at anything because in Medellín no one wants venezuelans unless its for really crappy or unpaid work at all. I've been living with her best friend, who ended up being my current gf that, you guessed it, is fucking tired of me.So yeah. Is there any way i can save my life before i dome myself? I know everyone says "just hang in there itll get better!!" but none of them are the ones being humilliated as days passes and theres still no job nor money. Not even food. I dont feel like a man anymore. Tried everything. Ive gone to my embassy and counsulate here and they dont give the ddocuments needed for me to work. I also tried offering myself, like as a guide tourist or anything but i got ignored. and after losing my glasses trying to go to an interview where the motorcycle uber that was taking me crashed and fucked up my glasses, phone and body. lol. Is there anything i can do? TL;DR: I got lied to multiple times and now im stranded in Medellín, 2 years no job, like -8kg on my body and im desperate. Im tall, can speak a bit of english, worked CS on a super cool american credit card company as a contractor, and as a webcam model monitor before the studio got closed. Also waiter, translator, and community manager. Im almost blind without glasses and have no cellphone.I sometimes wish being a man wasn't this fucking hard.I really should've listened to my gut. I wish I had a mom that didn't just "well you're an adult now, go figure" or a dad was just fucking dead over drugs.
>>34536093i know, anon. im trying my best with this because i've gotten two jobs already cleaning cars and they promise me 90k pesos a day, i go work and when the day ends just because they know i can't go to the police or something because if anything im still illegal here and due to 10 million pesos debt if i show up. I just need a job that pays me in USDT so i can at least afford new glasses. I dont even know if begging works. I've gotten grindr in the try to make some wealthy gay man pay me attention but i cant even conceal the thought of giving ass bc i was abused as a kid. I dont know.
the worst part of it is going to like warehouses and grocery stores and no matter where i ask, no one gets me in. I sometimes assume is due to being venezuelan and some other times is because im not documented. I lost this job as a webcam girl moderator because my passport was already expired and when i went to my counsulate they just told me they weren't giving the work permit for venezuelans and i'd have to make a paid appointment with an advisor, which i require money for. How to get money? Job. And no one hires me i literally im starting to think of hanging myself somewhere. I really dont want to end up homeless again... god. Im scared, you know? I never thought, never, i would be in a situation like this over trusting someone else. I want to cry just by the thought of it kek. I even had to give current gf my old laptop as a payment for helping me this last year. i have nothing else but my current laptop. Aint this pathetic lol
What is it with ESLs and making nonsensical word vomit ramblings? Give a tldr.
Dude... first, calm the fuck down. The truth is, you clearly do not want to die, but right now you are being irrational, overwhelmed, and letting your emotions drag you by the throat. Maybe you had no father figure, and no one ever taught you how to steady yourself when life starts closing its fists around you, but you need to understand this: a man must learn composure and coldness. That steadiness is what you lack.How can I tell without even reading every word? Because you are complaining, you are spiraling, you are speaking as though the world owes you something simply because you are suffering. It does not. As harsh as that sounds, life owes none of us a damn thing. It can be unfair, indifferent, even brutal, and the sooner you understand that, the sooner you can stop waiting for justice and start building strength.Complaining alone solves nothing. The better question is: what exactly is broken, and what can be done to fix it? That is where your energy should go. Identify the problem. Strip it down. Face it without self pity. Then ask, "What must I do now?" Because life rarely hands anything freely, and waiting for it to do so is a fine way to remain exactly where you are.I will not insult you by pretending I fully understand your pain, because I do not. Every person carries burdens shaped differently, and yours are your own. But if you truly want to change your life, then objectivity must become your ally. Feel what you feel, yes, but do not drown in it. Stand back. Assess. Act. Life is unfair, but unfairness does not mean defeat unless you surrender to it.
>>34536232>What is it with ESLsAt least he is trying to learn a second language, while you're here, doing nothing with your miserable life.
>>34536237im... sorry? for the amount of text? im not even whining im just giving context on my history. I am calm, just sad over my current situation and how bad it spiraled over me trying my best to paddle up this shitty deal of cards i was given. and im here asking for ADVICE (/adv) to know whats next. since when is a lot of text being desperate? What the fuck? >>34536232dont read it then dude. >>34536110 here is your fucking tldr
>>34536259>and im here asking for ADVICE (/adv)No, you are not. I did something as simple as pressing CTRL + F and searching for question marks, and nearly everything I found was ranting. The closest thing to an actual request for advice was your "How do I get money?" and even that only appeared after someone else pointed out that your financial situation needed fixing. Even then, the question was so vague and detached from the substance of your entire rant that it was practically useless. If you genuinely wanted advice, clarity and objectivity would have mattered. Instead, you were not truly seeking guidance, nor presenting a focused problem to be solved, you were simply venting, wrapping frustration in the shape of a question and calling it inquiry. Whatever, if you are not willing to accept what I said, I am removing myself from the thread, and I will find someone that accepts it.
>>34536270then fucking do so faggot. never knew it was a crime to give context on your situation but sure shouldve know better that you're the allmighty anon, allknower of every situation. bitch
1/2>>34536271>I survived my mom's evil fiancée, garage exile, multiple countries, cheating, fake babies, expired papers, street nights, broken glasses, betrayal, gaslighting, unemployment, and enough bad decisions to fill a Netflix tragedy>Anyway>How do I get moneyDo you see that? It is plainly not a crime to provide context, it is merely irrelevant, and in its irrelevance it reveals a certain disregard for everyone's time. Look, I am genuinely sorry for what you have been through, but such details are entirely beside the point if your goal is to solve a financial problem. They may warrant sympathy, perhaps even meaningful discussion, but they do not alter the practical nature of the issue at hand. If you were seeking psychological guidance, then yes, that context could prove valuable. But when addressing a financial matter, burdening the conversation with unrelated personal history serves less clarify than to distract.>faggotIf anyone here is behaving like one, is (you), to lose control of oneself so openly, then presume to lecture others on masculinity.>allmighty anonI am not. But I am willing to try to help you, provided you are willing to accept that help. I will sleep now, but you can answer this if you are willing.>Do you have food for the next few days?>If not, where can you get free or cheap food immediately?>Do you have a safe place to sleep tonight?>What bill or crisis will hurt you first if unpaid?>How much money do you need just to survive this week?>What can you sell today for quick cash?>Who can you ask for help right now without pride getting in the way?>Is there temporary work you can start immediately, even just for today?>Can you borrow time from creditors, landlords, or service providers by calling them now?>What expenses can you stop immediately?>Do you actually know where your money went this month?>Are there local shelters, food banks, aid programs, or emergency services you have not used yet?
2/2>>34536298>Can you trade labor for food, transport, or shelter?>What skills do you have that can bring money fastest, not eventually?>What is the quickest way to avoid making your situation worse today?>Are you choosing pride over survival?>What can wait, and what absolutely cannot?>Who owes you money, favors, or help?>Are you wasting time on solutions that take too long?>What can you do in the next hour to improve your odds?>Are you in danger, or just financially strained?>What is your backup if your current plan fails?>What essential do you lack most right now: food, shelter, cash, transport, or safety?>What government or community emergency support exists near you?>What is the smallest immediate step between you and surviving tomorrow?
>>34536298see? its not hard to be a fucking bitch and see im not looking for anyones pity, im just giving the information on why i ended up like that. Its on me if it looks like rant, because it also is, i never managed to speak about it until now, besides asking for jobs. So i figured, if i give info, maybe we can get to the point first. Boy was i mistaken, looks like. Anyway. >Do you have food for the next few days?Yes, I do, for about 3 days. >Do you have a safe place to sleep tonight?Yes, I managed to talk with her and we reached an agreement as long as im able to quickly help with money. >What bill or crisis will hurt you first if unpaid?My glasses. Im straining my sight by the day, im +6 in L eye and +13 in R eye. >What can you sell today for quick cash?nothing, maybe a book and doesnt go for over 3k pesos, which is $1>Who can you ask for help right now without pride getting in the way?No one. Moms side of the family parted ways with each other over politics and dont really want to help. >Is there temporary work you can start immediately, even just for today?Not right now. there was, but i dont know if i can find another in the state in am. I was until last night a car washer, but left because they didnt pay my day as they said they would, making me work for free. >Can you borrow time from creditors, landlords, or service providers by calling them now?As far as i know, no, you need PPT (permiso de protección temporal) to be able to ask for credits as a venezuelan. I dont have that. The other chance are "gota a gota" prestamists but theyre super shady. >What expenses can you stop immediately? I havent cut my hair in 3 months due to not having money to do it, all is gone in food. >Do you actually know where your money went this month?Food, specifically 120k pesos, which is a grocery shopping for 20 days.
>>34536298>>Are there local shelters, food banks, aid programs, or emergency services you have not used yet?Theres something called "expat café" where looks like you can meet people that cn hire you for stuff, but as I said, the money i made last week went into groceries. All of it ($48)>Can you trade labor for food, transport, or shelter?Ive done so, but its getting more scarce. Lately i've been asking even in constructions and they say that i cant without the permit, because they wwould get in trouble. >What skills do you have that can bring money fastest, not eventually?English, I worked as CS support, community manager and translator before erasing my fiverr acount like an idiot believing i would not need it again after landind such a good job. (hah)>What is the quickest way to avoid making your situation worse today?getting money, pronto. >Are you choosing pride over survival?im one step in the street one here. Im was never in the position to be prideful. If anything ive swallowed my words multiple times. >What can wait, and what absolutely cannot?glasses and phone cannot wait, less money. everything else can.>Who owes you money, favors, or help?No one that i havent asked to pay back already. Besides that, my best friend cant, since hes stuck in Italy as an inmigrant too, and needs every euro available. >Are you wasting time on solutions that take too long?Only "solution" ive wasted time in is creating an ai facebook page to try and monetize on those ai fruit novels and couldnt even hit good interactions. >What can you do in the next hour to improve your odds?I really dont know. Ive walked most of the city asking for a job place by place and after im asked about my work permit, im rejected. >Are you in danger, or just financially strained?Im in danger of being left on the street and beaten up if i dont bring back more money. Not just for food. >What essential do you lack most?Shelter and cash.
>>34536301>>What government or community emergency support exists near you?for venezuelans none that im aware of, besides the expat café which i havent gone yet. >What is the smallest immediate step between you and surviving tomorrow?Finding a job, or $50, which allow for my glasses so i can at least watch whatever job i have to do. I've been cleaning cars with no eyessight at all.
>>34536298also it was never hard to start like this. "hey anon, good that you give context but whats the real problem? im having trouble to sort between all your Netflix drama"Wish this was a netflix drama. At least id be making money out of it.
>>34536090>long story shortNo. Long story made boringly longer
>>34537318die in a car crash. hope your mother is there with you too sp you can hear her gargling in her own blood puddle
>>34536237Not OP, but thanks. I'm in a rough spot right now and this really helped get me in the right headspace.
1/2>>34536328>>34536346>>34536350Since you are a Venezuelan in Colombia without stable paperwork, your best path right now is not "normal job hunting." A lot of formal businesses will block you the second permits come up, focus on sectors where informal hiring is common and speed matters more than documents.You should visit produce markets (plazas de mercado), wholesale supply zones (central de abastos), bus terminals (terminales), street food areas, small bakeries (panaderías), independent restaurants, hostels, moving jobs (mudanzas), truck loading and unloading (cargue y descargue), and daily pay car washes. Go early in the morning, because many of these jobs get filled at the start of the day when someone suddenly needs an extra pair of hands.For migrant specific survival, seek your own community, it is easier than asking strangers. Search local Facebook groups, WhatsApp groups, Telegram chats, and Venezuelan migrant communities for your area. Other Venezuelans often know which places hire without paperwork, who pays daily, and who steals wages. That can save you days of wasted walking.When posting online or asking around, do not just say "I need work." That sounds like everyone else. Offer specific value>I teach basic or intermediate English>I translate documents>I do daily laborFor your glasses, because your prescription is severe, check migrant aid groups, churches (iglesias), charity clinics (brigadas de salud), Red Cross related services, or secondhand frame options before full private optical shops.Because you already got exploited once, be cautious with daily labor. Wage theft is common. Before starting, confirm clearly whether payment is same day (pago diario), half day, or end of shift. If someone gets evasive, that is often a bad sign.
2/2>>34537578Avoid predatory lenders (gota a gota) unless every other route is gone. Those debts can spiral fast, especially for migrants under pressure.>>34537558>Not OP, but thanks. I'm in a rough spot right now and this really helped get me in the right headspace.I am glad that I was able to help. If you need any advice, you can create a thread and link it here. I do not know whether I am qualified to help with your specific situation, but I can certainly do my best.
>>34536271I read your whole story and it was pretty sad and i sympathize. But there was so need for the vast majority of it. Do you think you need our sympathy in order to get advice lmaoYou being hostile and combative is prob the only thing that won't make anyone wanna help you though
>>34536271Not impressed with the attempts at maintaining izzat, saar
