My dad treated my mom really badly. The whole time I was growing up, she told me stuff like "never count on a man for anything" and that we're better off trying to live without men.It probably sounds silly, but I remember how Dad treated us both, and how he kept trying to scare us by coming to our trailer at night and banging on the door after she divorced him.There's this guy who has been nice to me who works at the coffee shop I like to read in. He's gone out of his way to help me a few times, and I keep feeling guilty because I think about him more than I should when I know that even the nicest guy can be a weirdo.He asked me out a few days ago, and I didn't really say no but I only said yes kind of uncertainly. We're supposed to go get dinner at a restaurant with a live band tonight.I keep second guessing it and thinking I should cancel instead of giving him the idea we would work out or that I'm interested when I know that it's a bad idea already.I kind of want to go out with him though and a little part of me keeps thinking maybe he'll be a better guy than my dad about things.Should I listen to my mom and just avoid guys altogether? Or would it probably be fine to try it a little bit?
go on the date and tell your mom about itif she reacts bad/bitter then your mom is the problemshe sounds like shes putting you on the fast track to being a 30 year old cat ladyjust cause your dad was bad doesn't mean all men are bad, and your mom saying things like that means she's speaking from a place of pain or is just too far gone
protip: your mom was the problem
>>34540998I can't say for sure without seeing the behaviour and the arguments and even the guy at the coffee shop for myself. But barring all that, I think for whatever reason, whether learned behavior or otherwise, your mother is clearly pushing you into being lonely. And you will have to do the hard thing and break that cycle. But do certainly avoid people that are likely to be abusive. I know for a fact that tons of wonderful, nonabusive men exist, obviously including myself, but by that same token, I also know that somehow women always seem to find abusive men to be with regardless. So... your mileage may vary.
>>34541157I also know, that I have never been in a relationship myself. So, again, grain of salt.
>>34540998don't be like either of your parentshttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FgxacX72snA&ra=m
>>34541157Women seem to find assholes a lot because assholes are more direct in approaching them than nicer men.
>>34540998Don’t be your mom.
