Here's a more concise rewrite of your post:I've been with my wife for 10 years (met at 19/21) and married for 6. We're both serious Christians and waited until marriage for sex. She's Korean and moved to Canada just one month before we met.Early on we did everything sexual except PIV and had a fun week-long vacation together where we were very physical. After 5 months of dating she returned to Korea for 6 months, had a religious crisis, tried to break up with me over the "sin" we'd committed, but we always got back together. When she returned she initially said no more touching or kissing at all, but that didn't last.We finished school with a mostly normal relationship minus PIV (occasional oral/hand stuff). Before marriage I repeatedly asked if she understood sex was important to me and if she actually wanted it — she said yes.Marriage started terribly. I was a virgin and came very quickly at first. She blamed me, decided sex wasn't fun, and rejected me constantly for the next 6 months (right in the middle of COVID lockdown). We had sex maybe 3 times a month and it was always bad because she put in zero effort. Our honeymoon was the same — sex only twice.After a serious fight she finally acknowledged the dead bedroom wasn't sustainable and agreed to work on it. I went to physio, fixed my premature ejaculation issues, and improved. Frequency stayed low (a couple times a month) and she still showed almost no interest.Year 2 we tried for kids. She got pregnant the first month. Sex decreased further during pregnancy. We have a wonderful daughter, but had zero sex for the first 6 months after birth. Then it went back to the same low frequency.
Sorry too long and asked grok to make shorter. Continues here:I later took a brutal startup job (80-100+ hour weeks) where she never once tried to initiate. She got pregnant again (miscarried), then after 10 difficult months trying, got pregnant a third time but we lost the twins at 19 weeks this February. We've been trying again since.For the last 1.5 years we've had more frequent sex than before, but only during her ovulation window for conception purposes. Whenever I bring up our sex life she gets defensive, refuses to accept any responsibility, and just says she has a low libido and "I love you."I'm attractive, a great father, make 300k/year, and provide a very stable life. Everything else in our relationship is genuinely excellent. I've communicated all of this to her clearly multiple times. I'm a Christian who never believed in divorce, but this has destroyed my self-esteem for years and I'm now seriously considering it for the first time. I'm lost.
> Sex before mariage is a sin so since we're both serious Christians I convinced her to suck my dickWhat a train wreck baka
>>34543160Kek but she actually didn't suck my dick till we got married. She let me eat her out though.Now she occasionally sucks my dick but never let's me eat her out.
>>34543131Sex is about play, it's about fun. And people need to be in the mood for fun they need to feel playful. If or when the topic of sex becomes a serious discussion, with heavy serious consequences, it becomes a chore. It becomes the opposite of fun, it becomes work. And no one can get horny in that sort of tension.
>>34543214This is generic boomer tier advice. Heard it many times. Tried it.It still takes 2 to tango doesn't matter how fun I make it she is still only interested during a 5 day window.
>>34543224You sure you tried it? I'm not talking about how fun you make itm I'm talking about your entire emotional environment. You got multiple kids, right? You and I both know how fucking stressful that is. I can't even take a shit in peace without the sound of my baby screaming in the other room. When two people become co-parents, the relationship feels less like a romance more like a job. That isn't to blame you, or wife, or even the kids. But what it means is you need to pluck yourself and your Mrs out of that environment for a short while and then pursue the fun. Do you or her have any family who can babysit the kids for a weekend or something?
>>34543131>more conciseno it isn't
>>34543131>Korean There's your problem
>"serious" christians>"waiting" for marriage yet still doing hand/oral sex>get married and it turns out you're sexually incompatible >now you're unhappy and you "seriously" "waited" for nothing hilarious. you're lying in the bed you made and you're being punished for being performative. just get a divorce and start over with someone you're compatible with
>>34543700the irony is lost on OP
I don't want to shit too much on OP because I also have a pretty shitty marriage (not because of wife directly, but because certain members of her family are actual leeches), but in all reality>KoreanThis is where you fucked up from the get go
>>34543224>It still takes 2 to tango doesn't matter how fun I make it she is still only interested during a 5 day window.your Christians, her desire isn't paramount, remind her of her obedience to you
>>34543131>Here's a more concise rewrite of your post:AI slop...>>34543160>> Sex before mariage is a sin so since we're both serious Christians I convinced her to suck my dick>We fooled God HAHAHAHAHAPretty messed up, lol>>34543168>Kek but she actually didn't suck my dick till we got married. She let me eat her out though.Ohhh, much better uhnMy advice: divorce
>>34543131>We have a wonderful daughterI had not read this. Well, don't divorce.
>>34543131don't divorcejust cheat on her and monkey branch if you find a better girlbecause if you divorce before you try finding a girlit will be harder to find someoneif you're married your aura makes it easier to find a girlalso you'll see that sex is a pain to get because women are aware of it's value and ability to control mena marriage is more valuable than sexIf she catches you, and she wants to divorce because of it, she never loved you anywayMost girls that love you will stay with you even if you cheat
