I am a 28 year old man. I met this woman online 3 years ago. We shared the same culture, (lack of) religion, values, etc. We spoke basically every day for 3 years straight. Throughout those years, she would always ask me to be in a relationship. Through a myriad of a million different reasons, I would always say no or not right now. I still liked her so very deeply, but my life is just a huge ball of stress because of family issues, and the distance from me to her is an ocean apart. Regardless, we would still chat and talk every single day until last February when she asked me again. I said that I couldn't, then we stopped speaking for a month. She came back and basically stated her feelings were over for me, but we continued talking. A few weeks past and she started to be less and less communicative. She told me two weeks ago that she has a boyfriend irl now, and would like to move on. I've been a mess since then. I went on a phone call with her telling her how much I loved her and how I would try to make things work between us, but she seems genuinely over me. We were both sobbing on the phone call but it seems like it's over. I don't know how to navigate my life right now without having her here. This is genuinely the biggest mistake of my life. It's extra hard because I work from home and have a pretty non-existant social circle, so she was my go to for everything.I am talking to a therapist and a psychiatrist, but I also just am considering suicide at this point because I just feel so extremely terrible. How do I get over this shit?
Grow up retard
dumb frogposter
you have to get off the internet mane-relationships always end like this don't kill yourself however
>>34544902I feel you, OP. The hard truth is that it is over, and the best thing you can do now is accept that and find someone else when the time is right. Take your time to feel the hurt, because heartbreak does not vanish simply because we wish it away. Let yourself grieve what you hoped this would be.The problem with long distance relationships is often exactly that: distance. When you want to touch someone and cannot, when you need their presence and they are not there, when sadness weighs on you and they cannot hold you or comfort you, the absence becomes its own kind of burden. For many people, that distance slowly erodes what closeness alone cannot sustain.Unfortunately, in your case, by the time you chose to truly try, her feelings had already faded. That is painful, but it also means you are fighting for something that no longer exists in the same way.Maybe now is the time to focus more on real life and stay grounded in what is close, tangible, and present. Heal first. I know you can overcome this, and when the right time comes, you can find someone nearer to you, someone whose presence is not measured by screens or miles. You just have to keep going and be willing to try again.
>>34544902>I went on a phone call with her telling her how much I loved her and how I would try to make things work between us, but she seems genuinely over me.You had fucking 3 years dude, you did it to yourself.
>>34544902To be honest anon, this ones all on you. If you never saw yourself as being in a relationship with her and just wanted to remain friends, thats perfectly fine. Its also completely justified for you to turn down multiple request from her to start a romantic relationship if you werent feeling it. The saddness you feel for losing this friendship as she chooses to move on are also completely valid and Im sorry youre going through that. But to be honest, calling her and saying that NOW you want a relationship as a last-ditch effort to keep her in your life is really cowardly and bitch made.
>>34544902>didn't want to be in a relationship>doesn't get in a relationship>oh le no what did I do to deserve thisyou got exactly what you wanted, good and hard.
>>34544922>>34544925>>34544965>>34544978Part of giving advice is telling what people need to hear right now, and telling him >"that's on you">"you had 3 years">"dumb frogposter">"Grow up retard"Is not what he needs right now, lads.
>>34544990It's exactly what he needs right now though.
>>34544990What he needs to hear is that you reap what you sow. Why would I coddle someone who did something retarded and is seeing the results of that?
>>34544990what people need to hear is often harsh and blunt anon. I was not at all being excessively cruel and even made it clear that his feelings are legit. But telling a girl for three years that you dont want a relationship with her, having her tell you she has moved on and has a bf now, and THEN telling her to wait because you actually do have feelings for you is pathetic.
>>34544996>>34544997>>34545019I know that saying harsh things is what many people need to hear sometimes, the truth may be uncomfortable, and it gives us room to grow. But in this case, OP already knows what he did wrong, and pointing that out is not what he needs right now. What he asked is how to move forward. That is what he needs right now. But I understand that (you) just want to dunk on him, and it is fine, just say so, do not disguise it as advice.
>>34544965>>34544978>>34544986I completely understand that it's my fault. My life is more stressful than most. When I started speaking to my therapist there were tears welling up in her eyes when I talked about my upbringing/childhood/struggles as an adult and now my responsibilities for my family. My bucket of problems was running over, and I always thought putting a relationship in it would just be too much, that's why I always rejected her. I did not even add her in the beginning seeking some sort of intimate relationship, that sort of thing just happened. My therapist told me that people often don't realize the value of what they had until it's gone, and that's what happened to me. This is the biggest mistake of my life, and I am willing to own up to it and say that this is basically all of my own doing. Now that I know how much she means to me, I would drop all of my responsibilities tomorrow and be with her if she would allow it, but I know now it's too late. I just want to know how to get over not having the person I could talk to anything about, the person that would comfort me when I'm down, the person that was always there for me. She's gone now and I'm going insane trying to fill the void that's left in me over it.
>>34545028simp>>34545029she did the right thing
>>34545028OP's life is already ruined, but his story can be an object lesson for others. Also simping for OP isn't gonna get him to suck your dick. probably.
>>34545029>how to get over not havingYou don't. Ever. You just learn various ways to cope.
>>34545337Read The Courage to Be Disliked and see how far you get into it before you wanna kill yourself
>>34544902Brother, what the fuck did you expect? Seriously.She had feelings for you and you wouldn't reciprocate.She ends up getting an actual BF and in order to respect her relationship she needed to cut things off with you because of her history with how she felt about you.And now that she's taken THAT'S when you confess yourself to her? THAT'S when you want to make a move despite all reasons you couldn't before are still there?Get the fuck over yourself, you gigantic faggot retard. You thought she would just wait for you forever and you were FUCKING WRONG (no shit). No happy ending for this relationship. Move on.
>>34545344I'm bipolar. I have never not wanted to kill myself.
>>34545355I said I understood it was my fault. My plate has been loaded with an excess of responsibilities the last four years, I just couldn't in my mind justify being in a relationship because I was already at my limit. Now that she is gone I realize how much she meant to me. I understand I fucked up. I understand my priorities were out of order. I understand I'll probably be on my death bed thinking this is one of the biggest fuck ups of my life. Right now I'm asking how to get over it, because I physically can't.
