I've got no fight in me left. The past 7 years of my life have been agony (picrel) and I'm finally starting to crack. Had a mental breakdown the other day, almost called 911 and begged for them to send a police officer to shoot me in the face. I can't do this anymoreThis is mainly directed at people with experiences like mine: Does it get better?
>>34546098I only have a mild form of ocd - I can't seem to stop taking screenshots of my phone screen and sometimes my desktop and I only do it in paint.It's probably linked to some underlying emotional issue where I feel very lonely so every time I do something that I percieve as social or something I could potentially show to someone else that would be socially significant - I save it as "memories" so that I feel like that moment was worth it and I don't feel like that moment didn't exist or is wiped out forever or wasn't worth it. It's a huge cope.At times it's a burden. When I'm less lonely it happens less or doesn't happen, the problem is I'm almost constantly lonely. So there you go, I'm able to self diagnose pretty well. You didn't provide many details, but what I can advise you is to seek professional help. I probably should have gotten professional help for this long ago, it's a real issue. It doesn't reach compulsion levels to the point of having a mental breakdown and wanting to die though, so I can imagine your situation is pretty bad. I did bring it up with the one therapist I ever went to end she just asked me some gay question before moving on and forgetting I ever mentioned it. For you though I would recommend that you persist and bring it up with even more therapists if one doesn't provide the correct help. Also, don't minimize how bad it is - tell them how bad it is from the perspective of how horrible it felt and how horrible it was at your WORST moments. Because only then they can understand just how truly horrific it is and how it affected your life SO much. Resist the urge to minimize "because it's better now", because it can always get that bad again and that's what you want to prevent.Good luck nigga
>>34546098https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06HvHDlZtZA
>>34546098It does get better, but you actually have to want to change. Most people in these kinds of situations tell themselves that they want to change, but they actually don't. The key is introspection. No matter what's bothering you, it's possible to sit down and quietly consider all of the reasons why it shouldn't bother you. Spend a lot of time in contemplation every day, and never blame anything outside of yourself for your condition. Obsessions come from you, and they can only be cured by you.
>>34546107>issue where I feel very lonely so every time I do something that I percieve as social or something I could potentially show to someone else that would be socially significant - I save it as "memories" so that I feel like that moment was worth it and I don't feel like that moment didn't exist or is wiped out forever or wasn't worth it. It's a huge cope.Holy shit. I remember going through a similar phase. Not sure if I have really gotten better or just more numb, but that was a sad time in my life. I felt so, so alone. Pursuing hobbies, playing video games, listening to beautiful songs, it felt so significant to me and at the same time I knew nobody whom to share it with.
>>34546633Not OP btw
