Hello /adv/ I have a question on what to do with life.A bit of backstory:>Im 30, lived most of my life a bit socially closed off due to a combination of family trauma/Vague "gifted" autism/general unsafe childhood.>I'm smart enough to mask it and function pretty well>I have work, rent a appartment floor with a roommate upstairs (friend of a friend)>found a lovely girlfriend and lived with her a couple of years.>first time I felt really seen, complete and connected to the world>she had a psychoses>broke up for a while>tried to build up again>she had a new psychosis>she ended her life after that, about a year agoSo what do I do now? I have work, a stable life, some money but am completely empty and disconnected.Doing therapy but no real progress. It's like I found my place in the world, and a future to build towards but it was ripped away. Like I missed my reason for being, my "why I was placed in this world", and I miss her so much.Should I just join her?No other path seems viable anymore, I have no want anymore
>>34547672No, you shouldn't join her. Maybe in addition to therapy you go to a support group. I also recommend a hobby or some other timesuck while you heal from what happened
>>34547875Thanks for the reply anonI have joined a support group as well, but the people there have lost a child or parent. Now it does help with some understanding the empty future does not go away.
>>34547672Find a new girlfriend and connect with another person. I’ve had friends go in and out of my life, and I see that time as a part of my life that’s passed. But just because we separated doesn’t mean the experiences didn’t mean anything or that you didn’t help those people and yourself feel better. Try again to find someone to connect with.
>>34549449But how can I? The guilt of not of her death and the emptiness leaves no room for somebody else.She told me she was doing badly but it didn't click in my mind that she would end it.
