To give you an insight into my mind; a cocktail of shit and cigarette burns, I'll open you up to the 5 distinct traits that all make my life a living hell: >>Aphantasia ensures the room is dark; you cannot turn on a mental light or project images on the wall.>>Anhedonia ensures the room is cold; there is no comfort or warmth to be found in being there.>>Avolition locks you to the floor; you have no drive to get up and find the door.>>ADHD is a radio playing in the corner at full volume, switching stations erratically, keeping your mind racing even though you can't move.And finally, the worst of them all: THE MOTHER WOUND: >>the deep-seated psychological pain, trauma, or emotional vacuum caused by a dysfunctional, hyper-critical, or emotionally unavailable mother.Since my 11th birthday, I've been experiencing these recurring traits constantly without end, I've been medicated, went through a psychotic episode, came to find out that my mother betrayed the family and put the men of the house above her children - now I'm forcing myself to talk to you people to process it externally since I'm incapable of making mental images. WHY CAN'T MY MIND JUST SIMPLY FUNCTION? And how would you strive, work and overcome these patterns and marks if you had them? Assuming you have the empathy to care despite my lack of it.
Do Dr David D Burms ten days to self esteem work book, available online. He was one of the pioneers of CBT and I managed it despite adhd, out of sheer desperation to become more normal. you got this champ. As for Aphantasia, my dad has this, so did my ex and two of her friends, and one of my oldest friends; they all love normal lives and it actually helps them streamline their thoughts, which counteracts your adhd massively.
>>34548046Try asking Gemini or another AI to simulate therapies for you and go about fixing your mind like a gamer piece by piece. Be open to sudden insights, epiphanies, and shifts in perspective when available to reframe, but don't give up on fighting for your real dreams even if they're stupid to others. You'll know what you want if you experiencing more things. After diving into some of your psychology with AI then come back here and post about it and get feedback from anons. It's a long list you probably have to deal with, but it will feel better as you go; not all at once at the end. You know, unless you achieve sudden enlightenment or something. Maybe try medication and dialectal therapy to help get some tips and fast forward things especially if you are not particularly self-aware, but be open to becoming suddenly more self-aware. Also ask AI to frame things as advice, neuroscience, or religion or whatever you are into too. Feel free to push back and analyze what you really want it to say, and be willing to learn from jt, but also always always question it and think for yourself. It's still retarded and tends to overly latch onto early parts of the conversation, isn't VERY holistic, and is very sensitive to phrasing and logic and word choice.
>>34548046I'm very similar to you, except aphantasia. I also have ADHD, anhedonia, avolition and complex PTSD from an extensively abusive childhood, raised by abusive alcoholics. I got my life together and I am doing a lot better, I am now functional with a job and a wife and kids of my own now. Here is what I did, I will refer to one of your points:>WHY CAN'T MY MIND JUST SIMPLY FUNCTION?It can, it always could, and the problem isn't that your mind cannot function. The problem is (you) had functioned it to death. You have used your mind far, far too much and too often. Part of that isn't your fault (ADHD impulsive thoughts is a bitch). But rest assured you have a habit. And that habit is every time you are stressed or bored or feeling conflicted, you run to your mind to fidget with thoughts to distract yourself. You built this habit as a child, around the age of reason (11 -13). You need to accept and acknowledge that is something you did, unwittingly, slowly, like a slippery slope. You were faced with a hard life and to cope with that you retreated into your own mind to live among your own brain chatter. This was a wise decision at the time, it did help you stay sane and functional for a while. But the longer you kept picking at your own mind like a scab, the more it bled, the more you drowned in your own head. And you've done it for so long it's all you currently know, you have forgotten what life has been like before this habit.The problem is your mind is run down, exhausted, aching, overworked and burnt out. And you live inside the burning embers, suffocating in the smoke of your own thoughts. You need to understand the answer isn't in seeking a functional mind. Do not ask your mind to run yet another marathon. Pretend for a moment you are an athlete, a marathon runner. You ran 100 miles and your legs are breaking. What logic is there in screaming at your legs to keep moving? You are doing that to your own tired mind.
>>34549151>>34548046>ContinuedSo you are demanding your tired and exhausted mind to think itself into functioning.. that is insane. And I am telling that to you as someone who made the same fatal mistakes until I also broke down into psychosis. If your first reaction is to (think) about what I say to you "Your mind is overworked and you are demanding too much of it by expecting it to think itself out of the problem",If you ruminate and go into a thought spiral over what that means, please recognize that is the problem. You must stop using your own mind so much. You cannot and never will find the solution to your own mind... Using your own mind. It does not work. The way forward is to use your body. I'll repeat: Use your body. Your body, OP, use it. Use the body, your arms and legs and lungs, use all of those. Go and physically process the world and reality, exercise walk build create destroy fix repair tidy clean climb swim do whatever it takes.Because the body will pull you out of your own mind. It will do that for you, because it will shut your brain up to pay attention to sensory input and use motor skills. Do that often, use the body often, so your mind can fucking rest. Once your mind rests frequently, your problems will dissipate.
