hey bros, foid herestarted med after high school, graduated then worked for a couple years until hospital contract ran out. night shifts, 60 hr weeks, blood and traumatic resuscitations etc dissociated the hell out of it all. colleagues were fine. feedback on performance was bland but finewas burnt out as fuck so instead of backpacking and snorting coke off a hooker in barcelona or whatever people do with gap years I went back to collegeam finding math therapeutic. not really enjoying CSam tossing up this current lifestyle where i get to sleep human hours and learn things that keep nervous system in check vs. going back into lucrative dissociation, but dont want to keep living off my parents like a loser foreverhavent gone back for casual medical shifts in the months ive been out, which might tell you something about my prioritiesthe longer you take time off the harder it is to do anything other than primary care, which kinda sucks in current climate (burnout city)relationships are a black hole, never dated in my life. 60 hr work week + emotional avoidance is not a great combo. i know im probably not completely unattractive, have gotten asked out over the years, but the only people i can hang around comfortably for long periods of time are autists or psychopaths or some other flavor of mentally aberrant. bit disturbed by this but it's been the case for at least 15 years so i've given up on fixing it.feeling lost and have no idea what im doing. can someone kick me in the head
>>34571749> long, abstract rant> foid hereBelievable. I don't know what the fuck you are asking though. > but the only people i can hang around comfortably for long periods of time are autists or psychopaths or some other flavor of mentally aberrant> disturbedYou probably think you are a special snowflake, but that's the issue, a lot of these people are just copers in a wrapper, see >>34571688I used to hang out with the goths, druggies, etc. Yes, they thought "outside of the box" because their life was shit, but never deeply, and never did anything about it.Anyway, get some friends, finish your CS degree, get a product owner job. Probably get an internship.The advice is always the same, for everyone, always. Unless you ask something specific.
>>34571749You've come as a listless professional to a board mostly populated by neets and outcasts, so any advice is necessarily going to be of minimal relevance to you.Most of the people I know who're involved in primary care describe themselves as professionally detached, not dissociated. I think the logic is along the lines that even though the work can be traumatizing in a practical and visual sense, you are ultimately the one trying in good faith to put the problem right, even if it means engaging in what seems like butchery or wrestling with a freaked out patient etc.Were you anxious about malpractice? Maybe you're just not the right kind of person for that role.
>>34571749You will never be a womanIf you're actually a girl - you sound asian. And there are many such cases as you. You get a small dicked asian boy who's equally as dissociative, willing to put up with ALL your bullshit, and willing to have distant memories of a girlfriend (ghost around the house 3 hours total per week in 15 minute chunks when you get in bed at night) Reevaluate your lifeI don't know what advice to give you, you're more functional on paper then most of us, yet dysfunctional enough that you made it to 4chan /adv/, I think that speaks to your lack of social connections and avoidance pattern. I am the same, though I'm trying my best to find a partner. You're a girl. Step it up. Get a bf. At least make one person happy.
>>34571749>tfw when no workaholic gf
>>34574074>I don't know what advice to give you, you're more functional on paper then most of usSpeak for yourself, buddy. I have a job and friends, and I bet the majority of anons do as well, we're just shit posting from our jobs, lol.
>>34574112
