I'm going to surprise you and I'm going to tell you exactly how I feel. Whatever you decide to do with me is up to you.
Fight the future!
Here I go trying to quit porn again. Usually the first few days are the hardest and I'm surprised how easily I've made it through that. After that the 2-3 weeks marks is what hits.I think the max I've managed to go was almost a year and then ended up relapsing anyways and at this point I'm jaded enough to think that this time might probably be no different.But it helps to not conceptualize it as a fail/success binary, where I either successfully quit forever or fail and relapse, but rather as a spectrum, where even if I only manage to go for a month without it, I still managed to improve this one aspect of my life slightly for one month. Plus despite relapsing multiple times I think I've managed wean off of the more degenerate stuff I used to be into before
I am a khhv, and my cousins all younger than me are coming to see me. They're all engaged and one of them is bringing his gf to me, and having to interact with them is humiliating. The most I got out of love is fapping to either porn or to girls in my imagination while some of them are even speaking of marriage.I am not even bad looking and I'm looksmaxxing to look better, my life is torture and now the universe owes me the most beautiful and special and the most pure and perfect gf in the world.
I would be stupid to expect anything different. Also, not my “mom”.
If we were meant to not talk to each other anymore you could at least do the decent thing of not appearing in my dreams every other night. You're not making things easy for me.
I remember talking with myself one time saying that I wish someone could put tammy on display and give them the opportunity to show the extent of their mental illness and how far they’re willing demonstrate it given the chance so that people could understand the shit that I deal with. This was before 2023. The YouTube feed kept telling me “this is what u asked for”. I asked for them to make it stop and it’s still happening. I’ve done everything I can to make it stop and but I can’t. I’m going to swing by the police station again and I’ll probably be told again that there’s nothing they can do.
I think that the tammy who is missing is the tammy who was on the boat at flowing lake last time we went. It was a dreadful experience where they got really aggressive immediately about keeping the fish I had just caught and not letting me release it back.
Arabs are so pathetic when things arent about them like no one gives a fuck about gaza right now let white people have the glory holy shit micropenis energy fucking disgusting.
.....and french canadians saying oh youre not anglo....Bro im old stock american FUCK CANADA
Wow blair really hates canada huh
praying and manifesting my sweet boy back into my life <3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖
Never trust a Libra male
>>34741462Why?
Girl you will always be the ghost in my shell
>>34741675What do you mean by that?
>>34741675And yet I said no to her
>>34741706It's a reference to something mike said. I don't think the troll even knows who he is referencing when he is larping as mike saying this
>>34741292I ain't coming back
>>34741832i miss my man
>>34740876I always wish i could go back in time. We would work it out. Be together. Fuck a ton.
>>34741872Best we can do is choose each other now and make up for time lost
>>34741909It's not possible
>>34742014It is and you know that.
Why are brown "people" such worthless violent scum
>>34742098Biospiritual incompatibility with you. I can’t believe I slept. Its unreal. Thank you. I’m so good you did as well, that we calm and instil hope in one another. Need you.
>>34741462Ok, but whats sign is this opinion coming from
The difference is night and day, moon and sun, my little one.
fucking asshole fuck you
>>34742071I know it isn't. What's gone is gone
I typed out descriptive paragraphs with a lot of information under most of the images and videos I submitted to deputy Thorne’s evidence link. Things only ever go badly so I have a funny feeling that he just deleted everything. Last time I tried getting an officer to call me nobody did. Funny how the doors were locked during open hours the first time I tried submitting more pictures January of this year. It feels like the police are doing everything they possibly can to avoid this. I’m trying to prepare myself for the excruciating disappointment that’s probably about to come. I’m close to ending my life.
They want to believe I was threatening Sydney for another excuse to throw at me.
>>34742445I said that I wasn’t but it isn’t convenient for them to accept that.
I was confident in us potentially being a team driven by delusional hope after they said “I think u all would agree with me”. After I made it so apparent how much I resented Mike for what they all convinced me that he did.
>>34742468Mike as in “Moby”
Whoever hacked my twitter deleted all of my messages sent between Mike and I.
>>34742476I’m still missing messages from other accounts too. Not sure if my messages were deleted or not.
There were messages and now there aren’t.
I found this well before I was blocked. I wanted to stomp Moby into a curb, not her.
I don’t have enough money and gas to make it to the police station as well as drive to work so I need to earn some money tomorrow and maybe reach the police station on Wednesday. My sleep schedule starts from 5:00am or 11:00 am thru 12:00-2:00 pm so hopefully I can manage going to work at 5:30am tomorrow.
I don't want to live anymore. The world is a nightmare I never wanted to be born into. There is either no God or he doesn't care about us.
By the time I saw this I was foolish to think that we were any kind of team but I still cared.
Then this is where I decided I was done until I came to the realization that Custardloaf isn’t just one girl not long after. I made my realization apparent and tried communicating by Twitter again. I was ignored so I gave up.
I wasn’t trying to be a pest. I was confused.
I didn’t like what William said to them, especially publicly. I sent a screenshot to them by messenger of what they said and their response to ask “is this really what u want out of life?” But I wasn’t marked as read so it wasn’t long before I unsent. The other two times I tried connecting by messenger wasn’t marked as read either but I left the messages up for more extended periods of time. It’s fine that they ignored me. Doesn’t matter.
Love you love you love you love you love you love you love you. This is like when we first met. We should romanticize that.
All you care about is your self image. You've crashed out at me so many times stemming from your selfish insecurity. I can't stand it anymore. You're a self hating child, and you don't deserve me.
Likewise
I don’t know if I am expected to explain or not. Long story short, find e girl. Catch feelings. Watch their account for less than a month before expressing feelings by messenger. They post “stop sending me stupid shit thru messenger” followed up with “u know how this works” or something of that nature. I can’t really build off of that kind of disrespect but I was dedicated so I messaged again letting them know that it hurt me and I am bailing on them. Then I followed up either the same hour or day with “ngl I’m still probably going to lurk around”. Eventually delete my Twitter. They start streaming 9 months later on twitch for a week. That same week their friends are posting on Twitter about how Domer killed himself. I wanted to show i still cared so I messaged them that I am sorry for their loss on instagram. They seem remorseful the next day on stream saying that they are dumb. I never receive a reply so after a decent amount of time I eventually unsent it because I didn’t feel like having the reminder every time I opened my inbox. Then eventually William says what he says and I relayed a screenshot back to them. No reply and I unsent relatively quick this time. Eventually they post a picture of their leg up and so I sent another message telling them that I feel like I’m losing them and poured out my feelings again like an idiot. I left that message sent for several months. Eventually they post “somebody save me” and I refused to post on their Twitter anymore so I posted a Bible verse on salvation on my instagram. After that they post a gif of someone burning up, something about feeling sorry for themself too I think.
Then not long after they post “babe, spit sunflower seeds in my like a baby bird” so I replied on my crypto account “al gore and” without any indication of my identity saying “this could be us but u playing”. No reply so I unsent my insta message. Eventually I see someone posting about StarCraft August of 2022 and start wondering if they post itt. I start posting around end of December and then beginning of January an anon posts “I feel like that girl sitting on top of that guy punching him while kissing him”. I had recently posted that same exact gif on my instagram. I make my final intended attempt to share my feelings and I was bullied so I gave up then came back to feeling like I was being reeled back in around June of 2023 when I started posting itt again.
Being bullied isn’t the reason why I freaked out and thought they were trying to kill me. I read a lot of posts that looked like cryptic language trying to directly communicate with me right after I started posting about freemasonry and covid vaccines on /x and unfortunately /r9k as well. Seemed like they were making very personal references that only people breaching my privacy would know about. By the time I read a post about grandma with a picture of a burning house I immediately recorded myself and sent an sos across the entire internet.
It does sadden me that this is what it seems to have taken to reignite our flame, and realistically, I know we'll have to get through our original problems eventually, but this fervor that has taken over us once again *is* nice...
It must speak of our bond, that only ourselves, eachother, can tear us apart, whereas outsiders attempts to do the same and worse only strengthen us...
What the fuck
I really like that we got to see that we defended one another, that when it comes to picking anything or the other we pick each other. It’s made my soul want you.
Mike Joneshttps://youtu.be/OHyOavMV8vw?is=tRGS2zfwDo_yHmAu
I was given more that I can do, too. I can show you that you are no tool, but someone worth sacrificing for and protecting in kind. Valued.Ah, and when you say how you *need* me...buzzing warmth alighting under my skin...
Being without you is like being dehydrated. I need my nectar.
I'll return to you, a cooling rain, soothing balm...
You'll never see me again after all this.
HE'S MY MAN WE'RE HAND IN HANDTO HELL AND BACKNO, NOBODY HAS TO UNDERSTAAAANND
Based based based based I LOVE HER Draculaaaaaaa
So good to see you smile again...black clouds cleared...that softness to your eyes...
Because of you. We’ll get through this. We’ll win.
We've always been inseparable. Lost email password? That's ok, I found you.500 miles away? That's ok, we'll fly. Moving too far to visit? That's ok, I'll follow.
My little schitzo. When the world told me you were gone I didn’t believe them. I would’ve rather died than turn.
Easiest way out, frens?
>>34743267But why? We’ll miss you fren.
Forgive me for doubting you, when they told me over and over that you did not want me...
She sleeps better now, too...reunion heals all.
It’s good to be back in my own bed again. I missed the ice cream place by my parents apartment but damn that couch is not comfy. Manifesting more dreams of him.
Loaf, please be well. I want all of u to be happy.
Paul, I can understand your concerns of me. I hope that u can accept that I’m not actually as fucked up as u might wonder. I want good things for u.
>>34743271I've lived in fear and regretful rumination for so long, but only once out of my cave, just for a glimpse at a normal life, I've realised what a spineless piece of shit I've become and how my mental capacity has deteriorated in this idle isolation. Now even the things I've known feel hollow and the people I hold dear either see me as a nuisance or as a manchild out of his depth to entertain for a bit. I just can't handle the mental load of todays everyday life and just carry permanent shame instead. But even in this crisis, fully aware of my full responsibility over my life, I make the decision to stay just where I am. And everyone is already long gone into the great unkown.But I appreciate you <3
>>34742130Your Larp is lame.
>>34742476Mike doesn't have a twitter. You are delusional.
>>34743100Yup just like mentioning sun and moon over and over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99jzd8qEz58
I cut off my entire family even my parents and I don't feel bad about it at all. I know they try to contact me but I never respond. They will never be able to understand how much this has helped me in my life. I am so much happier without them, I couldn't stand being the glue anymore
>>34743480Jealous we better embody la danse de l'amour eternelle better than you?
Aight see you all tomorrow
I still want you carved into my skin, I still want to share blood, I still want to drink you in and taste you...
>>34743603You shouldn’t eat kittens
Everyone was mad I was more worried about you than myself. I love shadow dropping videos in the playlist. It’s like a surprise you can’t guess :3
>ran out of drink>necking a 3.4 mixed shit out the bottom of the fridge>will probably take a fat dph sip to level outi almost cleared the weekendalmost
>>34740876I think I'm in love with you but you keep coming in my life and ghosting. Repeatedly, what do you want from me, I think we both know how I feel about you.
Open the fridge, father
I was met with more understanding than I expected, with the few I felt safe to voice my wanting you to. Encouragement, even. There are many I cannot be honest with though. I'll be curious of the reactions when we win, haha.
I do worry for you though, in that regard. It would sting to lose mine, but only briefly, and I worry you losing yours would be more hurtful to you.
Hard to see myself as worth the trade.
>>34743661*runs away*
>>34743622
it's over.
Whisper, moan, growl, scream, it in my ear, that you need me, how you need me, in all ways at all times, forever and always...mantra, prayer, oath
Now the charger to my phone is fucked up. Thanks a lot.
I see you, my love, I see you, I see you, I really, truly see you, I must soothe, be place of rest, please love, lay in my lap, have your face cradled in my trembling hands, caressing away tears, stealing your sighs in tender kisses...need me...as I need you...need to be needed....unravel together until indistinguishable from the other...
My phone's gonna end up shut down for a while. Fuck this gay world.
hastings,i don't know if you'll ever read this. we were friends several years back. you were in a troubled home with an abusive mom, you lost a lot of weight and you went to the army to get out of your situation. i got your letter way back then but i lost it or something. i don't know what happened to it. we ended up losing all contact after that. i just hope you're safe with everything going on, and that you're doing well. i've been thinking about you lately again, wondering how everything has turned out for you. you were one of the only true friends i had during that time. i miss you and am wishing you the best. i don't remember what username i used to use to sign off with, but if you ever do read this by some weird trick of fate, hopefully you'll know who this is.
its been a week since you told me why you had to move on, i dont understand how you felt there was competition with friends and work colleagues. didnt you want me to succeed so we can eventually be together?
Wearing your shirt, closest to being skin to skin again as I can achieve at the moment...breathing you in, you're all around me, within me...
Want to write a message in a bottle to my Ex, but realise, with schizos flooding the zone. There's no point.
>>34743805hey i knew a hastings back in the day. iirc they got the name from godspeed you black emperor
I beg Rest and Dream to bless you this night for me
Fuck it, Mau, I've already left the breadcrumbs on here, but if you do read this, I want you back.
>>34743805I can make sure he sees this, if he's still alive. I can't guarantee that he'll know who you are.
I used to date a Mau who'd go BLEHHHH
>>34743817>Message in a bottle Ok mike
small world.
>>34743827That's some solid bait. Need to stop posting details with names.
>>34743818i'm uncertain whether it was his real name or a name he made up. did he play dnd?>>34743823unlikely chance of it being the same person, but thank you for the offer. are you in the army? i've no idea if he is still serving, alive, dead, ect.
>>34743805Hastings from New York?
>>34743846Not in the Army, but I can do things more efficiently than most, so it'll seem almost supernatural. That is if I'm allowed, anyway.
>Giving my perspective on his situation for some kind of prize or damage control. Some stupid reason.
No other celestial body compares. The moon only needs the sun. Our weekly eclipse, our merging, holding one another; against everything else. I love you, so much. You’re intoxicating, you make me smile. I want to be with you, in you, always.
>>34743867Calm down maria.
>>34743852i'm gonna be real, it's been maybe 5 years (or more?) since i last spoke to the guy and a lot has happened to me in that time since so details are foggy. i'd say he was likely from the east coast but i can't say yes with confidence. i think he got stationed out in a fort in the south west but i could just be remembering things wrong. he was kind of a blonde or dirty blonde, i think. >>34743853thank you, vagueposter
I wonder, if I knew I was going to die imminently whether I would have my friend tell my Ex-Fiance I never got over her. I'm sure she'd laugh at me. I wish I was more mature, I felt like I was going nowhere with my life, and she could tell just as much in the end. Was never a fan of how she wanted to lie to her parents about how we met, I never had any shame in loving her, and doing so unconditionally.
>>34743852the more i think about it, the more likely i feel like it must be new york. all i can really remember other than what i said is that during the time we met he was getting out of an abusive relationship with an ex, that he ended up losing weight with keto specifically, and that he sent me a photo with the letter with him and his army buddies which also got lost. i won't continue to spam post, but maybe if this sounds familiar to anyone, it might be worth a shot. i wasn't expecting anyone to reply at all, truthfully.
Cant wait to travel and meet girls lol
>>34743883I haven't had contact with the Hastings I knew in over 6+ years too, so I wouldn't know about the station thing. But it's funny you mention >he was kind of a blonde or dirty blondebecause this is what I would've said to describe him too. He had that sort of slavic blond-brunette type of hair color
>>34743974where are we flying to
>>34743986The us is done lol i cant migrate there its too hard im aiming for europe
It would be awesome if catherine or juliet just stuck around and id do game on them but nah i guess were new now
>>34743985did you play dnd with him at all? that's what i would do with him sometimes and two friends of his.
I dont need college parties i had young love, but its time i learn how to actually date women
What gen z isnt telling you is that the average zoomer in the west, how they got married? They went to parties played the rituals, drugs, etc. And they met their sos through that language. No one in gen x and beyond actually learned game but to all the lonley people out there you can just manifest your " true love," experience its real
Is it weird if I like dating a girl to talk to her and don't really care if it escalates, but still get possessive and don't want her dating anyone else?
>>34743011Forgot to mention doing this right before sending my first private message. I thought I was slick.
>you are NOT japanese you area dutchie anglo!....YES im too tall for asians here jeez
>>34744045Yes
Woke from a dream that slipped through my fingers as soon as consciousness unfurled, but I know you were there, I can feel the imprint on my heart and skin sure as anything...and it made me cry, because you should be here, or I there, in the same bed, tangled in the same sheets, in each other's limbs...
>>34744317and they will never know you woke up with this feeling
I burn for you, my little pyro. My passion, my love. Everything, I love you.>>34744325You wish, nigger.
As you know I do for you...>>34744325They know. We're bound to eachother.
>>34744333fuck off nigger we all know you won’t text them shit you wrote here. Stop pouring your heart out to ballsacks in this site.
>>34744359They've murmured such things directly into my ears, many a time, and had them returned. Your envy makes you look a fool, anon.
