>>34871191
(continued)
To think I could have been sleeping with a girl after so many years in my life without one. To think that I could have been doing so much with her. And now I feel like I've set myself up for failure.
After all the interest I had, I just feel so bitter that it's not me that's with her. I've never kissed someone, let alone do the rest with a girl. Here I was ready to do that if she wanted it. But it was never to be.
I just don't know what I want to do. I don't want to stop talking to her because she will realise why and probably will get upset about it, realising that her own actions have hurt somebody she enjoyed talking to all the time.
But I don't have many people to talk to. It's not like I can just hop onto another girl, start talking and maybe try and see if I can do something with them instead. I refuse to use dating apps. But I just don't really get out much...so my hands are tied I suppose.
Am I in the wrong for not confessing to her? Or was she in the wrong for not realising that there was someone who clearly wanted her not to be single any more for months?
It makes me disgusted thinking I had a chance with a nice girl, someone I could think about a lot, someone that I really wanted to go all the way with....it makes me so sad that I ended up getting interested in someone that I couldn't have.

>>34871191
What are you doing, texting a girl.for months without ever asking to meet? Of course she moved on if you never shoot your shot.
And don't ever think of "confessing", life isnt an anime.You meet up, then you kiss her after a while. Never ever do tgat cringelord confession thing like a 14 year old.

>>34871191
>>34871201
There are only 2 kinds of men in the world. Men who understand women, and men who don't.
You do not understand women yet, but I hope I can help you. Your story is verbatim essentially what I had to go through in order to get it.
Listen closely to this below:

- Attraction is not a choice.
- Attraction is something that happens in a man's and a woman's subconscious - not their conscious -
- Men and women have completely different subconscious tests.

Reread the above and make sure you get it. Now let's get specific:

- Women subconsciously (not consciously, this is very important) test a man's Confidence. What I mean by this is that women test a man to see if the man has the balls and self-esteem to lead her to the direction she knows he wants her to go.

Reread the above.

Now:
>speak to a girl for a few months
Intuitively, this sounds GOOD to you, but this is a massive, massive turnoff to a woman.
If you are speaking to a woman for months and you have not led her to a meetup/sexual/date, she will subconsciously believe you have zero Confidence and lose all attraction for you.
She will then look for a man who does have the Confidence to do so.

Men do not work this way.

I can elaborate on everything and what you can do if you want.

>>34871223
I did ask. She was going to set something up. Something came up her side. We rescheduled, came up my side and she ended up not being able to do that day anyway.
She was also going to schedule something fairly recently but it went silent. Which made me wonder had she hooked up with the other guy at that point?
FYI the meet up was not intentionally going to be romantic, but if it worked out, then moves would have been made. I just didn't want to fuck it up and end up being a complete creep about it.
So again the question was...could it be that she waited on me to make a move, I never did and she went for the other guy? Because if that is what happened I feel like such a fucking fool.
I'm just feeling sad about it. Just getting reminded of the fact that she chose someone else, when I was getting excited at the fact of maybe getting to bang this girl at her house....I feel like I made such a critical mistake.

>>34871235
but I only have that confidence for about ~2hours if I just had the most exhausting workout of my life (so this basically happens once a year) or if I smoked a joint.

>>34871241
More to the point, how recent was the beginning of the relationship with the other dude? What if it was so fairly recent and she thought I would have made a move on her?
Am I the asshole for not wanting to just tell her by text "hey I really like you why don't we do something about that" instead of waiting for a proper meetup which got delayed a few times?

>>34871191
They, them, she, JUST USE SHE DUDE

Now for the advice, it sucks, but it happened to all of us, and happens literally all the time. Slide into a girls life like a lover, or don't. It happens or it doesn't.
People lie to you, romantic relationships with girls nowadays form in anywhere from a single day/meeting to 2 or 3 weeks. If it doesn't happen within a month your chances sharply drop mi amorrrrrrrrrr you crazy mother fucker

>>34871249
>but I only
This
does
not
matter.

This is a subconscious thing. Meaning, women do not care whatsoever if you can/cannot do it. You have to be able to do it, or she will not select you. Train yourself.

Women select for male Confidence subconsciously in the same way Men select for relative youth, fertility, and physical fitness. You have to understand this. As a man, she is subconsciously testing if you can lead the interaction.

This is why asking women for dating advice is a terrible thing, because women will tell you what they CONSCIOUSLY want - but they are unaware of what actually attracts them - the subconscious.

>>34871261
I did mean she/her. Definitely not a they / them she is a real girl with tits and all.

>>34871264
im just asking you how i am supposed to be this confident when it requires tremendous effort or drugs to feel this confident despite my above average features

>>34871272
Change your paradigm.
You are not a coward, you just do not understand the rules of the game.
When you understand the rules of the game, you will behave by the rules of the game.

When you play Tic-Tac-Toe, you place the X's and O's where they are supposed to go because you understand the game.
When you talk to women, you move faster and lead the interaction because you understand the game.

Knowledge is Power.

>>34871272
And to answer your question more specifically -
>Why didn't it go the way I wanted it to go?
Women already know exactly why you are talking to them from the first interaction. Women can tell very, very easily when a guy likes them.

If you had - from the first interaction - asked her to go somewhere (meeting/date/outing), she most likely would have said yes and you would have passed her first subconscious test for male Confidence.
You have a very small window as a man to pass this test. First 3 interactions max, and even that's pushing it.

She was probably turned off by you within the first week.

>>34871299
im not OP btw I just kinda interferred
my situation is very different. I never dated in my life. the few 1 week girlfriends I had were just from chatting or social circle.
just saying that having all that "i dont actually need you" confidence requires absurd amounts of effort and i dont have the energy to fake it

and also how do you know the difference between "confidently dictating the pace" or whatver you were saying and rushing it? cuz I tend to just want to tell em how I feel and not play games

>>34871312
>just saying that having all that "i dont actually need you" confidence

It's "I desire you and I have the balls and self-esteem to tell you" - that is what women test for.
The inexperienced man will hide his desire from women and pretend he does not want them. Women subconsciously sniff this out and disqualify you - no Confidence.

>requires absurd amounts of effort
It requires accepting a new Paradigm, not effort.
Men get stuck here because they refuse to accept a new Paradigm. They cannot accept that the world of women works this way.
It is simply a game.
Men play video games all the time and play by their rules constantly after figuring them out.

>confidently dictating the pace" or whatver you were saying and rushing it?

Strike up a conversation, talk about whatever, ask for the phone number. First interaction must be asking for the phone number.
If you get the number - she is considering you at least somewhat.

Text her, small talk, first interaction is asking her out on a date - specific time, specific place.

This is male Confidence - leading the interaction exactly where you want it to go without beating around the bush or being fearful.

>cuz I tend to just want to tell em how I feel
Male idiosyncrasy.
Women already know how you feel.
Men think they have to spell everything out.

She wants you to SHOW her how you feel, by leading the interaction exactly where you want it to go.

I just don't know how I can move on from this. That's what annoys me. There I had the best opportunity and I fucked it all up. Maybe some people just aren't allowed to have relationships or get a chance to kiss or fuck a girl.

>>34871331
>There I had the best opportunity and I fucked it all up.
Scarcity mindset/pedestalizing.

"She is a goddess sent from Heaven specifically for me to rescue me and if I mess this up I am doomed to hell"

You cure this by understanding all women test for the exact same things subconsciously.
Meaning, if you understand the game, literal billions of women are available and respond to the same things.

>>34871335
But how can I progress especially when I want to explicitly avoid the dating / fuck apps?

Life is mysterious.

>>34871423
fuck you

>>34871425
Not everything is cut and dry, a to b, black and white.
Maybe she didn't vibe with you in the middle of talking. Everyone can't be winners. Participation trophy kids are the worst.

>>34871423
Life is unfair. It always has been for me. This issue only just reiterated it.

>>34871390
>Find places with women your age
>see if any of them stare at you
>talk to those ones
>get their number if they seem receptive
As shitty as HTGWW general is, theyre right about this basic formila. Its just losers like you (>>34871331) cant get out of their own way

>>34871201
Just move onto the next bitch you hikikomori nkgger
Maybe confirm she's not available anymore so you can move on firmer
And don't take so long to ask next time

>>34872490
I know she's not available. It's just a kick to the stomach. I was so looking forward and everything. Instead I'm back to nothing.

So after a long hard think after she messaged me today I asked her to a small extent how long her new relationship was a thing as she brought him up a few times. Not long....ouch. So my fear had come true. Could it have been that she waited for me to say it and I didn't and she went with the other guy? She went from talking to me so much to just one conversation a day. What should I have done?

I'll stop short of asking why it wasn't me in case it hurts either of us (it certainly hurts me) but I think people were right...I took way too long and I paid the price. In fairness she didn't get offended by me asking. I just hope she realises one day that there was someone who wanted her before him. He's a nice guy and all and I am not taking it out on him. I just feel so bitter that I was never asked during these months. I found someone that I actually genuinely liked and I didn't make the right moves to go beyond just talking. Even though I wanted to do all the hand holding and kissing and fucking and that...I was just too much of a coward to just shoot my shot.

Guess it's just another lesson at life. I just don't know where I move on from here. /soc/ ain't worth a damn these days as it's all trannies and that. Honestly feel like finding a dark corner outside somewhere and crying my eyes out. And just let it all out. I blew my chance. God I feel pathetic.

>I just feel so bitter that I was never asked during these months.
> I just feel so bitter that I was never asked during these months.
> I just feel so bitter that I was never asked during these months.

>>34871235
>>34871264
>>34871276

Now that you are feeling this intense pain, reread everything I posted.
Take it to heart.
Understand it.

And you will never have this feeling again with any other woman.

Women
will
not
ask
a
man
out.

>>34873758
>>34873766

>>34871191
>But what if it was just only so recent and I had my chance and I didn't have the balls to just ask?
This is exactly what happened. You waited far too long and fucked it up.

>>34873768
>>34873766
Looks like it. I hope I'll get another chance some time in the future but I've waited so long I don't know when the next girl will come close to talking and trying again. I just fear that I'll fuck it up like this girl again.

>>34871241
>>34873758
You should definitely have been a little more clear with your intentions. Not in a pushy, douchy kind of way, but talking with her for months without ever inviting her for a date (if the the meet up you mentioned was "not intentionally going to be romantic", then it's NOT a date) made her think of you as a platonic friend and not as a romantic interest. So you've made a friend and that's not necessarily a bad thing for most people, but if mere friendship is not what you were interested in in this case, then you fucked up and should cut your losses.

This is the most obvious by the fact that she so casually showed you pictures of her with the other guy. If she saw you as competition to that guy, she would have understood how weird and hurtful showing you that would have been. But she treats you like one of her girlfriends instead and want to gossip with you about her love life. That's the role she has assigned you.

>>34875206
Maybe you are right about the whole platonic thing. Still feel like a huge fool about it all. Maybe one day I'll get over it and chalk it up to me being too slow. Just pisses me off knowing how quick this guy hit it off...like what should I have really said to her to imply that I wouldn't mind more if she was open to it? Tell me and maybe I will try with the next girl that I enjoy talking to.

I just don't know when the next time will be though and that is what is eating away at me. You know, KHHV and all that. Or is it KHV? Just annoyed how everyone else can get a relationship or whatever and here I am without having had one in my life.

>>34875458
>.like what should I have really said to her to imply that I wouldn't mind more if she was open to it? Tell me and maybe I will try with the next girl that I enjoy talking to.
I'm not a Chad myself so I dunno. I know enough to see the problem but I don't know enough to see the solution. I imagine the best approach can vary greatly depending on the specific girl and situation.

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>>34871201
>>34875206
>To think that I could have been doing so much with her.
I think every man felt that at some point. I certainly did and it sucks. Sorry, anon. But you learnt something out of this. Take it as a experience and next time (there's always another girl, believe me) don't be afraid to make your intentions clear, to ask her out not like let's hang out someday.
>like what should I have really said to her to imply that I wouldn't mind more if she was open to it?
Learn how to flirt. It is not that difficult and even fun once you get the hang of it

>>34875515
>Learn how to flirt.

How. How do you start out? Just hit on random women? I'm currently doing online courses and don't have a lot of everyday opportunity to talk to women "organically".

>>34875620
Play Super Seducer I guess.

>>34875987
>look it up
>its real
kek
Still doesn't help me

>>34871191
You cant approach or message women anymore as a non chad. At best they will reject you by acting completely uninterested or tell you she has a boyfriend oh and then comes the risk that she will tell everyone how much of a creepy weirdo you are. If you do this at the gym, school, or at work, the chances of you getting in trouble with the HR, Dean, or whatever is frighteningly high. You cannot approach women and talk to them anymore in this post covid, dating app, feminanzi, individualist world. They dont want to talk to non chads.
>b-but clubs! Dating apps! Bars!
On dating apps, its 20 guys for every girl and even worse outside larger cities and the girls are all mentally ill single mom whores with 3 nigger babies looking for someone to provide for her. At the bars and clubs women autistically stick to their huge group or their boyfriend and they certainly dont want random non chad guys approaching them.
>hobbies!
Just like the other scenarios, no women wants random guys to try to flirt with them while doing their hobbies. This gay advice of trying to pick up bitches at the salsa dancing class does not work.

Anytime you get a girls number or social media 9/10 times she will just ghost you because she was too scared to reject you IRL

Stop coping and denying the truth that for the vast majority of men, dating is completely hopeless and impossible

>>34871191
Because femons run the world and there is no happy ending for you.

>>34876065
It's educational. I've seen some ecelebs play it on stream for fun.

>>34876114
>t. creepy weirdo
One of the most annoying things is freaks and creeps trying to pretend that their problems affect all women.
>Stop coping and allow me to claw you back into this here bucket
lmao no
Keep gooning cuck

>>34876144
I played it for shits and giggles, but in order to glean any actual education from it you have to be a turbosperg with the social skills of a genuine retard

>>34876150
But there are little things that will actually help you like sit next to the girl instead of on the other side of the table and the isolate her from her friend group before trying anything.

op feels like ai slop

>>34876172
true, but thats "PUA" basics you can read up on in five minutes

>>34876188
AI can appear like a real person. Chudw less so.
Chat gpt and grok can pass the turing test, 4chan cels can't.

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>>34876065
There are at least three games. The third one even managed to get banned on Steam.