>>34876982
>actual people being abused and raped and tortured
>meanwhile 99% of “pity” posts on the internet: GOYS MY GORLFRIEND DOESNT LIKE ME

>>34876982
I would rape your girlfriend and you. Consensually. Both of you.

>>34876982
Sorry about the rape joke, in case this is real, all I have to say is you have to be 18+ in order to post here

>>34876982
>Well, now what?
Talk to her parents. Talk to her therapist. Talk to her friends. Get yourself out of that relationship without harming her.

I dated someone who did this with me at the end, but the threats of suicide were less serious and the family was supportive. I'll share what I did, but you're going to have to figure out what you can do for her.
>Called parents, told them
>Told best friend
>Didn't tell brothers, didn't tell other friends, left that to those I told to figure out
Both parents and best friend stepped up and tried to be there for my ex. The best friend went over to her house the following morning and talked to the parents before she was awake just in case. She was also forced into therapy. I did not block her number but I did go no contact. I stayed in constant, close contact with her best friend talking about how things were going (unbeknownst to her). We shared notes on her mental health regularly, any time I got messages from her and especially suicidal ones I made sure her friend knew immediately. After way too long, the messages started becoming less frequent. The constant, almost around the clock support, was at least making it so that she was moving on. Only freaking out while home alone at night. I was also moving on too. Eventually, they stopped. And after some point myself and her friend no longer felt the need to compare notes anymore on her safety. I haven't spoken to her or her friends in years now, and I think she's older, but truthfully I don't know. I also don't know how you would handle this without a support network for your girlfriend. You have to find someone. You also have to be prepared for setbacks too. Once I started seeing someone new and an idiot told her trying to 'help'. I don't know what the fuck he was thinking but the fallout was insane. I had to break no contact to talk her down from suicide I was so worried. I got her to realize he was not helping, calmed her down, and filled her friend in. And eventually we were about to go back to separating from each other. I'm pretty sure that's the last time we ever spoke, and as far as I know, she's alright.

>>34877242
Not OP, but sucks that you have to go through all that.
Also, I'm jealous of how she got help, but when I got cheated on and left by my one and only support person for 5 years I was left to rot alone by everyone. And I'm still alone. No one cares for my mental health

>>34877272
I'm sorry your support didn't do the same for you although I can't fault people for not doing what I did. It was months of being berated by and threatened with suicide by someone I was trying to move on from and who had no idea I was still involved in helping. Which is ultimately for the best, she would not have been able to move on had she known.

Even if the person you cared for didn't get you then, and you have no one to help you now, you should try to get some help. It's not the same as having someone actively step in to help you, but it's better than nothing.

>>34877302
>Even if the person you cared for didn't get you then, and you have no one to help you now, you should try to get some help. It's not the same as having someone actively step in to help you, but it's better than nothing.
I probably should. I haven't left my house since August 2nd. I'm living on student loans

>>34877302
And thank you. I just hate that I don't have that someone to step in for me. I wish I did. I wish for a beautiful girl in my life, it would help so tremendously

>>34877338
Some, definitely. I won't pretend having a person care about you suddenly doesn't make it easier. But it helps less than you think and it creates major problems when that's your only outlet, or when you don't care about yourself inherently. Definitely get yourself some help if you can. Professional help isn't really enough by itself either, but it's a good first step. And you can look into getting some friends and maybe a girlfriend along with it.

>>34877363
Thanks brother. If I got her in time, she would fix everything. But I crashed and burned alone, and now I would need a mix of help to get me back to normal, but I still wish a gf to be there. But yeah. Thanks again for your kind words. I don't know what else to say, I just wish you the best and I hope I get out of this somehow. It's been 2 years

>>34877370
>she would fix everything
I want to remind you that no one can do that. It's an impossible ask to put on someone else. That's how people like myself and the OP and you end up in these toxic relationships. You need to have more going on than an expectation a partner will fix things for you or between you. I hope you take the steps necessary to start improving things for yourself. It's never easy, but it's better than doing nothing.

>>34877392
She would have, because back then there wasn't much wrong with me. My relationship has just ended, and it sucked, but I was still functional. So yes a girl would fit in perfectly back then. I understand where you're coming from but also be careful giving this advice because it can be harmful. It is often misunderstood as don't try and be celibate by lonely guys like me. Luckily I know the balance now.
If I could find her I would, but I can't. And anything else is just laughing in my face

>>34877397
I never considered they might take it that way, I'll keep that in mind. I hope you're able to get out of your hole, you seem pretty self aware. Not that that's all you need to fix problems, but it's a great first step. I hope you are able to act on it.

>>34877421
>I never considered they might take it that way, I'll keep that in mind
Thanks dude, it's very nice that you're able to see this. I fell into this trap in the past and called off trying and that was harmful for me too.
Even though the dating apps aren't doing anything for me at the moment, it feels good to have them installed, and they did give me 2 dates in a short 2 weeks period earlier this year when they worked. Then the algo destroyed me and I haven't had a single match let alone date in over 6 months.

And thank you, yeah I'm self aware, it makes it all the more worse, aware but frozen

>>34877433
>it's very nice that you're able to see this
It helps that I'm also at a pretty low point. I know what it's like to read things in the worst way possible and be insecure. It takes two to fuck relationships to that extent. Just because I haven't had that problem with this doesn't mean I haven't elsewhere. And I'm only really on /adv/ right now because I'm struggling myself. I don't really need advice with anything, but I posted >>34877270 earlier.

Being alone sucks. And I get it. If you want someone to talk to I'd be down.

>>34877453
Sorry that's happening to you brother. Honestly maybe this is a bit shitty on my part, but I get little satisfaction from having male friends, and female friends scare me. At this point I've been avoiding people for so long, only ever talking to whores online who add me once in a while and make me cum buckets, other than this I haven't had a lot of success, and I'm very fidgety and restless. I can barely sleep, and video games don't seem to boot themselves up because I can't bother clicking on them even though I really want to, it's really strange.
I unironically recommend that you do the irl thing and get on a hiking group from meetup.com, those are really good and help you at the very least get time outside, feel like you have comrades, and good exercise, and at most you get to actually find friends. You never know what you're going to get with these meetups, it's really fun.

I did it all on my own after the breakup, and it really did help me. I just decided to stop everything after a while, because it was too much and I wasn't getting a girlfriend.
I know that this is fatalistic thinking, but I want a gf. I don't want anything else. I can keep role-playing that I care about something else but I don't, I just want a gf. I still made friends and still keep in contact with one or two. But other than this dude, nothing. I'm a fucking nigger. And I want a gf really bad. I hope for you that you're able to get the courage to go on those walks. That's honestly one thing that if I could tell myself - do it, it would be the most beneficial thing for me - a daily walk. A daily mother fucking walk.

>>34877272
How does a support person cheat on you?

>>34877516
She goes on a dating app behind my back to intentionally find a man, cheats on me, moves out of our apartment and all the way to his county and stays with him to this day. That's how.

>>34877503
I get you. No harm done. And yeah, I actually did start doing something similar some years ago after the fallout from >>34877242. I was in a rough spot from that. I started walking to get myself out of the house and out of my head, as well as joined a group to make some friends. By the end of the relationship our friends were each other's so I was in a pretty dark spot after I stopped talking to them. I might have said I didn't need advice, but yours is sound, so thank you as well.

I do still recommend you get yourself some friends depending on how many you have now, because you need to be able to spread out the load from anyone you're planning on dating. And a therapist to spread the load out from friends too, if you're in a really bad spot. But if the girlfriend is the most important aspect to you, no harm in trying for that first or keeping the friendships mostly interest based and light. Just don't make the mistake so many people do and neglect the rest when you get what you're after.

I appreciate the talk. I hope you find your own success on dating apps. And if the algorithm fucks you, try to find some places to meet women in person in addition to that. I don't recommend cold approaching, that can work but it's even more grim than apps. My best advice would be to see if you can find yourself an activity that isn't too male dominated. People get to know people through proximity and exposure. And even the men you meet are potential avenues to invitations with areas that could have new women.

>>34877532
You're a smart guy, dude. I'm going to voice type this with ChatGPT voice typing, because I can't be arsed to write anymore. My keyboard is just fucking killing me. But this is all me talking out loud, and the writing style is obviously going to be AI-styled, but it's all me. Like every word that's written here is me. It's not a prompt. It's good to hear that you did all that, and I'm happy that my advice helped a little bit. I do have some friends from my time hiking, but I didn't just hike. I did so much more. I did the whole get hobbies where females are. I did dancing, acting, and singing. I was really up there with all the girls, and I got a lot of girl friends, but no girlfriends. You understand what I mean? And yeah, that was my main lesson taken from the last relationship, that I will never neglect the rest, even when I have a girlfriend. I will always still have friends. Thank you for wishing me success, my man. I wish you success too. And yeah, I won't cold approach. I'm scared to even use the word date with a girl. I feel like the only way for me forward is to get a really good body so that I feel like I'm hot, and then act in a way that maybe I don't really like, but, like, act like I'm hot shit, basically. And "men I meet are potential avenues to invitations with areas that could have new women". That's a very, very nice point and true point. But again, it's not a sure thing, and that's what ultimately makes me not pursue any of this, because it just takes so long, and I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, and I just want to stay indoors. But at the same time, I want a girlfriend so badly. So this is all very, very, very, very difficult for me, especially because I don't speak the language here. So my option pool is even smaller, you know?

Thank you for this man it's really nice to connect with a fellow anon. I just feel like I've done so much, and STILL things aren't working for me, so I am just completely... And utterlyyyy.. defeated

>>34877554
>I did so much more. I did the whole get hobbies where females are. I did dancing, acting, and singing. I was really up there with all the girls, and I got a lot of girl friends, but no girlfriends. You understand what I mean?
Yeah. And it's good you did that. Those girls are also avenues to meeting potential girlfriends, by the way. A properly motivated girl who wants to set you up with someone is a very powerful asset. The other thing I'll say is make sure you flirt with the girls you're meeting. I don't know the kind of person you were back then or who you are now but so many anons do all the steps and then pussy out at flirting. I know because I used to be one of them. Flirting is such the single most important thing I can think of to cross over into more with women. Flirting is the foreplay of relationships.
>I'm scared to even use the word date with a girl. I feel like the only way for me forward is to get a really good body so that I feel like I'm hot, and then act in a way that maybe I don't really like, but, like, act like I'm hot shit, basically.
Be careful of this mindset. I've watched a lot of people squander relationships because they got too into their head that their only way forward was a specific route and wouldn't deviate from it. How they act, who they talk to, what type of person they can date, how they have to look to be in a relationship. I've seen a lot of people who buck the mold on that and get into a relationship with whoever they like at whatever stage of life they're in, and they're far happier than the ones who try to force a specific way of doing things. I'm pretty guilty of doing this as well, actually, and it was MY takeaway from the last relationship I had that I should try not to. People can get so used to optimizing for a specific path that they stop looking at other options.

Splitting it into another post, this is too long.

>>34877598
>But again, it's not a sure thing, and that's what ultimately makes me not pursue any of this, because it just takes so long, and I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, and I just want to stay indoors.
I feel you. That's part of what has me most upset about losing the last friend I regularly spoke to. Making new friends is ass, especially in your thirties when no one has time anymore. Human connection falls by the wayside and it's all a pain. But we've both been there before, we both know the steps. We both can get through this.
>especially because I don't speak the language here. So my option pool is even smaller, you know?
You've got to change that. That's one of the most isolating things out there, and you're plenty smart yourself to be able to learn a new language. Especially when you're surrounded by people speaking it. Go take some lessons, join a group activity of your own to practice and get you back in the habit of leaving your house. I bet if you fixed that your chances of meeting women would improve tremendously. And for the love of God, learn how to ask women for private language tutoring in a smooth way. If you can flirt with her a bit in the local language then throw that in, you can go far. Pick up enough that you know how to at least flirt. It'll help.

Thank you Anon. We're gonna make it.

>>34877598
>so many anons do all the steps and then pussy out at flirting
um yes that's me, I can't possibly do that. It's just not right. It doesn't feel right. Especially given that there's something to lose, we're all in the same group and it would be awkward otherwise. This is the main thing stopping me from trying. I also don't know how to flirt.
We are both in the same position, we know flirting is the way to go, but just can't do it. and that's our problem, I'm afraid I'm going to be single forever due to this. but, there is one avenue I'm thinking and that's like, dating apps, and one-time-meetups like girls I meet at festivals, or girls I meet at .. one time events. I don't really do "outings" such as a club, only festivals.

sure, I appreciate the advice about your lesson taken from your last relationship. I am a very genuine person, I would not go as far as to change myself entirely, but I would play myself up for sure. I just need that banging body.

>>34877604
>Making new friends is ass, especially in your thirties when no one has time anymore.
eexactly brother, I too am 30. and exactly man, we can do it even though It's hard... It's just ... It is a bit of self sabotage but I really don't care :( I want a gf, like, yes I take a friendship when it is offered and seems good but I want a gf, It's all so tiring. But yes like you said we have to keep our head held up high and really just uh try to have fun and keep going and hopefully a girl meets us who doesn't mind like giving some more OBVIOUS signals you know? for my retarded ass (won't speak for both of us but I have a feeling you empathize)

1/2

2/2

>>34877604
thank you dude. probably the most true advice is that I need to learn their language. private tutoring is unironically a good idea haha, but I have female friends who, would probably get wet at trying to make me speak Dutch xD I'm jk this is hopeful thinking, but yeah the language thing is super important. I really need to go and do that so that I can integrate in society because yeah man I feel further isolated, so so isolated.

wheree are you from btw? I'm assuming from the states?

and thanks for always keeping it positive, you're a good dude, you don't deserve to be blocked. you already know this but I'll say it anyway to affirm it to you - online friends are consequence-less if you have the heart to let them go, and unfortunately a lot of people don't see them as people the same way we do, It's disheartening but yeah, I've purposefully not made online friends knowing what the outcome will be eventually, even though I went my whole life having online friends and also online girlfriends. but IRL is so severely limiting, so, dating apps are still alright. And if they didn't permaban me from reddit for posting the word discord on r4r I would have still been making posts there but that site is fascist now anyway. okay I'm done rambling for now brother <3 until your reply

>>34877640
1/3
>um yes that's me, I can't possibly do that. It's just not right. It doesn't feel right. Especially given that there's something to lose, we're all in the same group and it would be awkward otherwise. This is the main thing stopping me from trying. I also don't know how to flirt.
Alright. We're fixing that. I had to learn it you can too. Flirting is banter. It's foreplay. It's good natured teasing and fun, and it doesn't have to be scary at all.

The goal is to build tension and attraction in your partner, and express your own attraction, without being so direct you say it (reading ahead given your country being direct might be good, this is a cultural thing I don't really feel qualified to speak on). By the time you're asking a woman out on a date or telling her you like her, you should already be well aware that she likes you too. Wordlessly. Everyone has their own flirting style. It can be sexual, sweet, closer to traditional banter (but usually nicer), or so on. Watch as many examples of men and women meeting in movies as you can. Study it. Learn the body language you should be going for to signal interest, the body language that they should be giving off to signal interest. Figure out the tone you want (dropping your voice a bit lower and quieter drops panties), figure out the words you want to say. Don't try to use pick up lines, but take the overall feel of what the actors and actresses do and run with it. Hell, genuinely go roleplay with ChatGPT. Tell it you need practice flirting, and get to talking. The more you develop the skill the better you will get and the easier it will be to identify it, just like with any other skill. And of course, alcohol helps too to loosen up at first if you're really scared to get going. But make damn sure you don't rely on it and you instead learn how to do it yourself. Otherwise you end up an alcoholic.

>>34877687
2/3
>and hopefully a girl meets us who doesn't mind like giving some more OBVIOUS signals you know? for my retarded ass
I figured it out eventually. It's learnable like everything else. You can learn it too. If it's very hard I'd suggest getting screened for autism as well if you haven't been. You can still learn it, but it will take a more deliberate approach to doing so instead of intuitive. I find, though, that once you figure it out, it frees you to be a lot more bold talking to someone because you know when they're interested and when they're not.

>>34877643
Private tutoring is good advice, but to be clear here I was suggesting figuring out an iteration of that line to pick up chicks. I used to know a guy who used that on tourists with good success. You just need to know enough to say a few things to interest them, then invite them to give you some private lessons. Ideally your and their English skills will carry the rest of the conversation, but you wouldn't be doing any lessons with them.

Since the language is Dutch I think it's all the more important to learn to speak. The fact the country has such a high proportion of English speakers means any difficulty and they'll naturally default back to English. You need to get enough practice that they either stop doing this, or you can force them to by continuing to reply in Dutch if you want to integrate fully enough to no longer be isolated. Get yourself some lessons, real ones, and get some exposure to the language. That way you're not trapped. It will help you meet women and improve your mental health tremendously besides that.

>>34877691
3/3
>wheree are you from btw? I'm assuming from the states
That's the one yeah. East coast. Where were you from originally? What made you move?
>you're a good dude, you don't deserve to be blocked. you already know this but I'll say it anyway to affirm it to you - online friends are consequence-less if you have the heart to let them go
Thank you anon. Guy was my friend for ten years. We weren't super close, but solid friends regardless. We hit a rough spot and were trying to get back to the usual, but hey put two mentally unhealthy and insecure people into a friendship and shit happens. Resolving stuff can be hard. I didn't expect to be blocked but I'm not shocked. All my healthier friends that I still have added are busy with their shit in real life, and those that I talk to in person I don't feel as close with. Connecting offline can be hard for me.
>I've purposefully not made online friends knowing what the outcome will be eventually, even though I went my whole life having online friends and also online girlfriends
Irl is definitely the better call, by far. But I've met some good people I would do anything for online before, and had people that would do anything for me. Easier when you're younger and have time to commit to the internet though.

>>34877503
where are you finding these whores? are you paying them, or are they doing it for free?

>>34877757
Free, from 4chan. Used to be from reddit too which led to way more consistent interactions and even relationships, but because I'm banned it's now from 4chan. The amount of girls from 4chan who will talk to you for like, 20-30 minutes, then you say a couple trigger words and now you're love bombing each other and cumming buckets is insanely high. And no I don't exchange photos, they do though. I just have a good voice and I'm a really caring guy who's good at conversation. I also met some Brazilian from okcupid who thought I was the hottest thing ever (I'm not but maybe to a Brazilian I am) and I've been in contact with her for a while. And before you think, no none of them want money. Love is a currency, being told you're a good girl is a currency. But..... Sadly, you need a strong heart and know what you want and set some form of commitment for each other, otherwise it falls apart. And I'm gonna be honest, a lifetime of such a relationship is at most several weeks, if not several very intense hot days. What can I say dude.
Just make sure THEY add YOU first. I think I rarely, if ever, had a good experience with a girl who posted her details. She's almost always preoccupied with other guys and you're way more likely to meet an energy vampire attention sponge who will make you feel worthless.

>>34877687
>>34877691
>>34877697
Thank you for your reply my man, I haven't slept the whole night and now I have to go out but I'll reply throughout the day, come back here later and I'll reply, really appreciate you man

>>34877823
Thank you as well. I appreciate the advice and conversation. I hope things improve for you. I've got to sleep, but I'll check the thread tomorrow if it's still up. If not, good luck with things and I hope you're able to make some positive changes, I know I'll be trying to.

My offer to stay in touch stands since you seem about equally interested in continuing talking and a thread on here is not the best place for it, but I don't mind if the answer remains a no. Thanks for the chat, I'm in a better place than I was earlier.

>>34876982
Genuinely, your girlfriend needs to be in psychiatric hospital. Voluntarily if possible, but involuntarily if necessary.

>>34877823
which subreddits? and do you try to get them to voice call as fast as possible and go from there?

>>34878053
Back then it was r4r, makenewfriends here, all kinds of other make friends subs, I found my long term irl 5 years gf on a looking for language helper sub. But Reddit was different then, anyone could message anyone freely and usernames could be put in the post or replies. Today it is not possible anymore, you can barely dm anyone. The site is fascist and riddled with the strictest requirements for dm-ing or even a REPLYING to a DM. So your best bet, just like on 4chan, is to post and wait for DM's.

And yes, voice chat as soon as possible.
But also, don't force nothing. Forcing makes you sad and too invested. The best girls are the ones who give you the chance to VC, then melt over your voice and you start touching yourselves. Really nice stuff.

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>>34876982
Should have just sent her this

>>34876982
Overdosing on pills is quite unlikely. A woman actually successfully killing herself again unlikely.