thoughts on female classmates hitting (You) up about classwork?
feels like they're only talking to you for guidance and answers while they fuck chad. that's why i say no when asked if i've done the work

Which is better after a convo goes well with a woman, asking for her number, Instagram, or asking her if she wants to go out with me?

Number is always the best. It may not even be worth getting an IG until after you go out with her (and after you have her number). Don’t ask a girl to ‘go out’. It sounds very serious and she doesn’t want that most likely. Get her number, you can tell her we should hangout or something in person then hit her up after for the logistics. Unless your social media is ‘good’ then it can really backfire if a woman sees yours. Yours is good if those same pictures are getting you some matches on dating apps. It’s best to use it so a girl remembers you after you’ve gone out with her, but if yours is really good it can be used to DM girls you haven’t even met yet.
>>34901671
I’m working on texting girls better. Trying to come off as cool. I have a tendency to text like I’m a loser sometimes and girls will ignore my messages if I slip up. Trying to get the vibe right of I’m a busy guy with a lot going on.

>>34901884
>>34901934

Going from Zero to Hero
The process of going from no girls to getting girls feels rough because it requires energy and focus that you need to muster up even though your life sucks. Anyone that says have a good life without girls is coping. If you want women and have none, especially if it’s been an ongoing struggle then you won’t feel good it’s that simple. If you can feel good without girls then you probably wouldn’t have a hard time getting one in the first place.
I focus on my attitude and mindset. Even if it feels hopeless I decide that I do have the power to change this. I will change this. That willpower and firmness is attractive in and of itself funnily enough. You have to really believe you already can get girls. You have to truly feel like you are already getting girls. You have an abundance of women. Anything less than that exudes desperation and even an ugly women will run. Radiate that energy of I get women. Then when you interact with women give off the vibe that you don’t need her to like you. You already have girls so why would you need her? You are just interacting with her for fun. It takes the pressure off you and more importantly her. I already have girls so I’m not going to start simping or being too agreeable because I need this to go well. I already have girls so when I ask for contact info I don’t sound desperate for a yes. I already have girls so meeting up with a girl is not a big deal, it’s not something very extremely important. Dating is normal for me so why wouldn’t it go well when we meet up? I already know how to vibe and lead her, why would I assume it would go bad.

If you want a girlfriend she has to be compassionate about you not bitter.

>>34901884
get her number, only time to ask for insta is if she legit has a bf or something like that where you want to keep casual contact and asking for her number would be awkward/rejected

ive noticed girls that seem to be attracted to me are about 5-6s on average
which due to hypergamy means i must be a 6-7 in looks/value

what to do with this info?

>>34902293
I’ve majority of the time dated 8-9’s and I don’t think I’ll take even a 7 anymore. Too expensive and entitled. I want ugly and thin and someone who does chores and works full time.

I live in the US bordering Mexico. I genuinely cannot believe how every woman after 26 turns into a wall. Where can I meet women in my weight class???? I really dont like bars but other than that I have no idea where they are.

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>>34901671
As somewhat of a gymcel (my social skills are ok in professional settings but I may have some form of tism) how to go about finding a qt shy gf? I feel very paternal and protective towards quiet insecure girls, but I live in a very extroverted party area so to speak, lots of bars not a lot of bookstores. Pic rel is me, so I think I might come on too strong for those types of girls. I’m very forward and upfront with women generally. I hate dating apps and will not use them again.

>>34902577
ur juiced just go talk to them in fitting clothes. and be as autistic as you can. Their dad might be autistic too

What if I want no commitment lowstakes sexual chats with random chicks.

>>34902414
same
but ive tred dating 3-4s and they are not attracted to me like 5s and 6s are
which is the weird thing
it seems like girls 1 to 2 levels below are the ones who are attracted to you

in your case it seems like you had to put in effort to get them attracted to you or stay
which seems to be the case iaf youre dating above your looks

>>34902577
bruh that's the easiest fix
simply dress in an oxford shirt showing a bit of your pecs
and some glasses, with a very clean hairstyle
and they will like you

muscles are never the issue
the issue is your presentation
if you look like a bro, dress like a bro, act like a bro then you're going to be labeled a mindless bro
if you have some sort of contrast to yourself
like despite being super fit, you dress preppy / classically masculine then your personality can be whatever and the perception of you will change

>>34901671
>>34901884

Why would you want a woman in these conditions in the first place? You have to destroy the misandry first otherwise it's pointless.

>girl shows interest in me
>i fail to pick up on it and make a move
>now she hates me
is there a comeback from this?

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Additional videos to watch and reflect.

Good starter videos
>Why We Shouldn't Leave Incels Behind
https://youtu.be/xHmDJyVT3g0?si=GEUm2HAZ-I6QpLgY
>How To Get A Girlfriend
https://youtu.be/05tG47pv1vM?si=x6Ngo0hvj7M9L1wn
>Dr. K Breaks Down The Science of Flirting
https://www.youtube.com/live/0k3YUL3iQds?si=OvrpJ6ZNK0je7Ybq>How
To ACTUALLY Find The Right Person For You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSfuHwENzXM
>Why Your Tinder Match Isn't Going To Date You
https://youtu.be/KJX-8C7OHmw?si=5HcbRpJbUa7PE-gO

More for Men
>Why You Should NEVER Confess Your Love
https://youtu.be/xHkcIRZa6lo?si=zGxmCIXyHEAbsXdQ>Can Men & Women Be Friends?
https://youtu.be/OafdDpFjOIg?si=O4SIMEOF5EzBFKN7
>The Interesting Truth About What Women Need Today & How To Get What YOU Want!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2mD6_g3xpk
>5 Harsh Realities About Women | Every Man MUST Face Alone!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkhLybpZKzI

More for women
>10 Brutal Dating Tips for Women That Women Need to Hear | And Men Need to Share!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCMKgpl7HW4
>Why You're The Least Valuable Friend
https://youtu.be/ql5sWIEAcFw?si=lYx6LPTx8xaaS7OM
>Why Women Can't Find A Soulmate
https://youtu.be/58kdlgKvEU0?si=ZskCXZLFY1iMmbpF
>A Perspective on Female Loneliness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbGZaGzWdfs

Extras
>How Your Brain Perceives Love When You Have Autism
https://youtu.be/KlSsI2CKYaQ?si=1XYAjx97G9oeNeS_
>Men Are Getting This Totally Wrong About Being A Simp or Nice Guy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn-U2Sx4spo
>The Addiction Women Can't Talk About
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDv-bX7Pegg
>Your Standards Are Way Higher Than They Should Be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diIc5e2RLKI
>"Why Women Deserve Less": Myron Gaines Loves Projection & Bad Math
https://youtu.be/u6QcjXub8fo?si=6TaYexKVRHBncmOm
>Why 40% Of Young Men Need Erectile Retraining
https://youtu.be/2MwTDoT8q_A?si=C-7aytPOjXwgOuIX

>>34902293
I'd take that info and throw it away because you sound like a fagot way to obsessed with looks and physical status.

How do you feel about having a type?

I make 75k a year, I have really good benefits, I have a house, a dog, I am in really good physical shape and work out / run 5 days a week. I have hobbies and creative talents between instruments, crafting, gardening, etc. my life is pretty awesome and full.

All that being said I really want a woman who takes care of herself. I think it’s super hot when girls like to exercise in some way shape or form. Doesn’t have to be gym. But like someone who values being in shape and eating good food. And like who is responsible and shit.

Is this superficial?

I feel like all of the girls who are serious about relationships and also value their health have super high standards and only want to date like a certain kind of guy.

I have somewhat of a high body count from my past, and I also drive a beater because I don’t want to buy a new car and I’d rather save money. I feel like women will see these things and be super turned off when it comes to a real relationship.

Is there any way to salvage a girl matching with you but not replying to your initial message? The message wasn't just "hi" btw.
>just give up
I don't want to, besides, no one else is matching with me.

>>34900964
I got my first serious gf at 23. Don't lose hope, anon. Plus the looking young thing, I was in the same boat, and now that I'm older, I have all the young girls who wouldn't have looked at me before drool over me. You'll grow into it, is my point.

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Haven't heard back from her, is this actually a rejection?
Very weird because she was super positive about going on the date.
I'm going to send one more message on this just to test the waters.

>>34903449
>I feel like all of the girls who are serious about relationships and also value their health have super high standards and only want to date like a certain kind of guy
What kind of guy do you think that is? It seems like you're successful enough for your market to get what you want, have you tried talking to girls at the gym?
>somewhat of a high body count
girls don't care about that, or you can just lie about it, god knows they do
>I also drive a beater
not great, but considering you have a house and decent job it should more just filter out the women that are too materialistic
I'm assuming you live in the midwest by the fact you have a house on a 75k salary

>>34903469
If it's been a few days with no response I just say "here's my number if you want to talk or hangout 555-5555" and move on with my life, it's about 50% success rate, eventually

>>34903527
what did you say? I would have just said something vague about meeting next weekend, then on wednesday or thursday asked her to meet you at a certain time and place

I wish I was in a relationship
but I don't even know where to go
I sit at home because I have no reason to leave it, and no destination
I absolutely detest dating apps
what should I do to meet women?

>>34903621
>midwest

Yes but I live in a suburb close to a big major city. It’s sweet and I put a bunch of work into it. Fortunately I know how to do like everything related to trades so I saved money.

I could buy a new car. Mine is a 2017 and it has a bit of a dent on the passenger side door and some rust forming. But it runs and it’s safe and I can save money.

I do not approach women at the gym, no, despite many of them giving me obvious signals.
I’ve talked to a couple and they’ve always been really friendly and receptive.
One girl took the treadmill next to mine in a completely empty gym and my water bottle fell onto her feet while she was walking and she picked it up for me and we smiled and eachother. But she’s also like way younger than I am so I got weird about it.
But I’d like to try more. I just don’t know what to do or say.

Like when I’m at a bar or a show or something or using an app I don’t get nervous about starting conversations but the gym feels weird. I think I still idealize women who are super into fitness but I am also super attracted to it.
I’ve also had girls get into my car and not care though. My last gf of two years did not give a shit that it wasn’t in the best shape and she came from a pretty well off family and did good for herself.

But basically I pre reject myself a lot when it comes to women at the gym. Like I won’t even try sometimes despite knowing I’ve had a lot of really hot girls elsewhere in life.

>>34903621
I said something to the effect of next weekend was good for me, enjoy her trip and text me when she gets back to plan it.

>>34903449
No. Women and men suffer from the same things at the core, but are different on the surface.

Self-sufficient women are more picky because the more self-sufficient they are the less they need someone else to help them. They start to view relationships more as a chore or baby sitting. They become more picky because the only needs they aren't getting met with are the more specific and niche needs.

It's the same thing with men too so it's not really a boys vs girls situation. Both sides now are supposed to be self-sufficient so the point of a relationship now in modern times on a surface level is "is this person chill to hang out with?"

>>34903634
>Mine is a 2017
yeah, that's not a problem, i thought you meant like a 20+ year old pos
>I don’t get nervous about starting conversations but the gym feels weird
>I just don’t know what to do or say
"how many sets you got bro", "can i work in", "are you using this", just choose whichever one is appropriate then ask what they're working on today and go from there
>I think I still idealize women who are super into fitness
>I pre reject myself a lot when it comes to women at the gym
yeah, this is all in your head, I find the gym one of the easiest places to talk to girls and I'm only sort of fit, I probably just wouldn't start with girls with a headphones/hat/death glare combo

>>34903638
>text me when she gets back to plan it
eh, I think it's fine to take the initiative here and hit her up with a plan for a date, if she doesn't commit to it or cancels then take it as a rejection

>>34903692
Fair enough, thanks for the advice.
I am 30 tho. Like I’ve had long term girlfriends and I’ve been with other people aside from that so I don’t think it’s like an issue with wether or not I can, more so just confidence

Like I am in really good shape and I dress well and I think I look really good. I can also be really good at connecting with people.
But my brain shuts off around hot girls at the gym. Sometimes I worry about all my tattoos, sometimes it’s the car, etc. idk. But it’s like I almost put fit women on a pedestal and like they all want like the top percentage of men and shit when I also know many solid women who’ve dated shit heads

>>34903670
So you think independent women and like those who take good care of themselves don’t care as much about money because they can take care of themselves and don’t need a man to pay for shit? And they’re more interested in the person than anything?

>>34903527
get the hint kike, she obv doesnt want to hang out with you. if she did she wouldve txted u

>>34903732
>I almost put fit women on a pedestal
more of them are autistic gymcels than you think

>>34903781
For real?

>>34903527
>wall of apologies
she's backing out. abandon pursuit.

>first time I meet this girl
>lose my proverbial shit and dump on her stuff I don't even tell my family about
>she doesn't flinch
>second time I meet her
>start liking her
>suddenly I can't talk to her with the same confidence, can't open up anymore
>she looks sad as shit when we part ways
>I kick myself thinking she's disgusted and completely uninterested
>days later she posts some awareness video about a dude smiling but keeping all of it inside til he offs himself
I'm overthinking this, right?

Does anyone else watch AlphaMaleStrategies? I've been listening to this guy on and off since 2019 and I wonder if he's right or if his "game" mostly applies to (usually more confrontational and masculine) black women as opposed to white women (not that they aren't masculine a lot of the time too) because he alluded to not dating white women very much if at all. Which is interesting eI'm just wondering how much I'm screwing myself over listening to only his advice.

>>34903922
Never open up to a girl it just gives her the ick.
She probably is thinking of you posting that video and wants to use her interaction with you to show what a good person she is as well as signal her value by talking about how she rejected you as a beta male.

So yeah.

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>>34903692
>>34903744
>>34903839
Look who just came back to me unprompted. I agree, 80-90% of the time it is just a girl who's not interested, guess I got lucky here.

>>34903741
Yeah pretty much. I mean look at how simple life is now. What even is the point of a trad wife when you have dishwashers, clothe washers and roomba vacuums? Modern day conveniences took house hold jobs that would take hours to do and need your full attention away and leaves a giant gap that needs to be filled. I guess you could say "work on a hobby/yourself" but humans are still social beings so being in an environment where you can do work with other people, even if the work is rather individual is still better than sitting at home all day doing nothing or trying to entertain yourself till your husband and family comes home. But if you work a job that pays you enough to support your life style then why find a boyfriend? You have a job so money isn't an issue, you have machines and robots that do all your chores for you. The only thing a person can't buy is love, and if you are going to love someone then they need to be a net positive on your life. Why date someone who's abusive, narcissistic, a cry baby or mentally unstable?

So that only leaves 2 real options; either your partner is someone you enjoy being with all the time or you find someone even more rich and powerful than you so you can get someone else to complete the few tasks that haven't been automated or has enough money and resources for extreme decadence and leisure.

>>34904288
Don't come here, everyone will demoralize you and tell you things that will keep you away from success.

>>34904288
Ayyy congrats anon, you got lucky.

>>34903449
>is this superficial
Could be but you seem to acknowledge the underlying character traits of someone with those hobbies. Types overall are very superficial though. Useful for filtering out people you might want to hang out with, but if youre mature about it you'll know that what makes people more interesting is their depth, not their surface level interests. Basically just remember to give people a chance , don't dismiss them outright

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Just got broken up with last week.
Not that I’m in any position to get back right away but what’s the current meta for meeting someone again?

>>34904553
Honestly on average its a toss up between apps and going to interest groups in person. For you specifically it would depend on age, social circle, interests, etc.

>>34904288
Yellow light. She still chose her friend over you. I hope to god she's not like this all the time, for your sake.

>>34903621
>If it's been a few days with no response I just say "here's my number if you want to talk or hangout 555-5555" and move on with my life,
This sounds good, I never would have thought of this.
How many days is a few?

You know what? How about instead of trying to fish for the right words or actions we instead make the most out of what we have when we interact with people. Hell what if we only know 25 words of the English language? Let's make the most out of it and stay focused in the interaction.

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>>34903810
I approached two gym stacies this year and got btfo each time. One stopped showing up completely after that. Anyway, decisive chud victories.

>>34904776
>One stopped showing up completely after that
Sounds like she's the one that got BTFO

>>34903449
>>34903692
>>34904776
I just got back from the gym and ended up talking to a girl while I was there, it was really more of a foid intervention, she was trying to unscrew the selector knob on the cable machine (no baby, what is you doing!) and I had to stop her from fucking it up, I just helped her set it up for cable crossovers since that's what she was trying to do and went back to my workout, a little while later she's looking around cluelessly around the cable machine I'm at and I ask her what she's looking for, and she shows me the exercise she's trying to do on her phone (looks like from chatgpt) and I help her with it. Afterwards she thanks me and introduces herself and we talk for a minute, she was a cute enough Asian girl I'd say 7 or 8, but honestly I was more focused on my workout than getting her number since I'm just in this city for another day. I think that's part of the key for me, that I'm focused on something else to distract me from having anxiety about talking to women at the gym

>>34904715
>How many days is a few?
Whenever it feels like they aren't going to reply anyways, usually like 2 or 3 days

>>34904793
Sorry for the incessant questions.
I was thinking of saying something like
>Sorry if my intro was bad, I'm not used to using these apps :laugh:
Before giving my.number. It's true and might help break the ice more.
I'm also thinking of telling her I might be deleting the app soon (also true, I'm not getting any more play), which might put pressure on her to actually use my number.
>bro, you're overthinking
Of course I'm overthinking, everyone on this board is, she's cute and I want to maximise my chances.

>>34904962
>Sorry if my intro was bad
What was your intro? I wouldn't assume she saw it and thought it was boring or whatever, I just assume that girls have notifications turned off on dating apps since they get so much attention and probably never even saw your message
>>34904962
>I want to maximise my chances
yeah, they can feel the desperation/over-optimizing and they don't like it bro

>>34905025
>What was your intro?
She mentioned that she had recently moved to the city in her bio so I said that I had too and asked how long she had been here.

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>>34904776
>I approached two gym stacies this year and got btfo each time.
Worse than me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTuhi5W1mWM

>>34905025
> notifications turned off on dating apps since they get so much attention and probably never even saw your message
What can you do in this case?

>>34905092
I remember watching this video and it gave me the courage to ask a girl out and she said yes.
Turns out she's married and just thought I was asking to be friends but whatever, I shot my shot.

>>34905095
>ask a girl out and she said yes
>Turns out she's married
On a first date a girl once asked me if I was MBA, I told her I didn't know what that was, she said "Married, but available"

>>34905094
>What can you do in this case?
If you get a match reply asap in the hope they're still looking at the app, get right to the point about asking them out in case they just check the app once a day so you don't spend a week going back and forth chatting, also don't get so worked up about bullshit on the apps and focus on other environments you have more control over

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>>34905095
I didn't think anyone would go ask a girl out based on that story because I got BTFO. But the funny thing is I became friends with like half of the staff in that gym after that happened, and she became cool with me again later. Didn't get the girl but made some connections.

I want to address something. See how we're doing so much to try to get a woman to want us? Isn't attracting supposed to be easy? How come other men can do it so easily while we can't?

>inb4 Chad

I've seen bums get 10s. No, how? Really. Are we just taking it too seriously? Trying way too hard? Perhaps the desperation really shows in us, which harms our chances so much. If women see our desperation or neediness or whatever they want to call it today, they reject us automatically.

Now, being attractive physically is definitely going to matter for some, but some say that it's more about how they connect with the guy. I feel as if I shouldn't try too damn hard to get them. I know that it's unfair, but if I keep chasing it, it'd only work against me. Maybe there's something I'm wrong about, but I've come to realize what I wrote here.

I am 29. My body count is kinda high and I’ve been with a lot of women. Many of these women were pretty fun and hot.
However, I met most of them online or thru dating apps.

I’ve pulled girls in person and stuff but always relied on apps. But I really want to start trying to talk to girls in person more. Like especially at the gym. Lots of girls give me signals but I never act on it.
I’m getting older and I want this fear to go away.

I’m sure I’ll get rejected, but also maybe it’s safe to assume that if I’ve landed lots of pretty girls in the past before, I can for sure do it again? All I need to do is have some balls and go say hello?

>>34906288
I think you're starting to get it. People want to be needed, but being a savior isn't something most people are capable of, specially right off the bat. You can chase but it needs to be a game, not a chase of desperation.

dating after college sucks
I like bookish whimsical student types who are mildly neurodivergent-coded but girls like that are basically impossible to find outside of the college bubble
I'm 27 so they would probably consider me unc anyway
All the girls in my greater peer group are all burnt out and jaded from full time jobs and ex bfs, it's bleak
Would just do a schooler and go back but I got more pressing shit to take care of

>>34906382
The best way to think of it is, if the girl approached you, you'd be friendly and open to more, right? So why not the reverse?

>>34906518
Because women typically have more options and I feel like they’re guarded and a lot of the time don’t want to be bothered

>>34906695
Which only raises the question of selection, not invalidating the approach entirely.

>>34906702
I feel like women will be okay with you approaching them if they think you’re attractive and socially aware enough.

>>34906729
Right, so it's just a matter of picking up the signs and vibes. Smiles and stares.

I'm in love with my FWB. She is perfect and exactly what I've been looking for my entire life. I go on dates with other girls and I just think about her. I've never once met a person in my life that fit the type of person I'm looking for and she does. She made it clear that she isn't looking for a relationship and that if I caught feelings we were done. It makes it worse that it's not like a stay distant type relationship she makes it like we are actually dating with the nonstop texting and cutesy messages. I know have to just keep dating until I find someone else but it's painful.

>>34906743
third times the charm, eh?

Mindset is extremely important for attraction. It will determine how your interactions will go before you even meet a girl in person. If you are struggling to attract any women you are probably in a defeated state of mind. I’m fucked, it’s too hard, it will be awkward, it won’t go well etc. You are basically radiating defeat and even if you don’t say any of these things to her she will be able to sense it. When you flip your mindset to: women already like me, I am doing well, we will get along, then women will respond to you even if you haven’t made any changes besides this internal switch. You start to radiate a subtle energy of being a winner instead of a loser and all of a sudden women see you as somebody they want to be around instead of somebody who is using women to feel better. Make the internal switch, start believing you are already winning.

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>>34906288
>I've seen bums get 10s
The problem is you're focused on anomalies. Yes, its easy if you are genetically gifted, harder if not. If there were ever some simple magic formula we would all know it by now and be banging 10s.

Even if you want to ignore the whole Chad thing, we all know some guys just have "it". And whatever "it" is, those who don't have it typically never get it. It can't be taught like an instrument, or given like some material object. Remember, if an easier way existed, we'd already be doing it.

>>34906780
Quite the situation. I might have to write a novel on it.

>>34907487
Is there already a novel on it or are you serious

>>34907487
>>34907493
Ild coop a screenplay maybe. Is her name summer by chance?

>>34907534
I thought in 500 Days of Summer there was a chance but he just didn't realize his flaws that she saw in him

>>34907537
>>34907534
Google Gemini says no maybe I'm misrembering

>>34903430
>Advice from Indians and women

One of the most important things to remember in this journey of finding love is to accept being human instead of forcing a happy ending you dreamed of.

>>34906383
I feel as if I'm a failure, which can contribute to insecurity and anxiety, which shows for me.

>>34907000
I don't want to trick myself, I find it much easier to be myself but be open to fix myself (be more confident, stop being afraid to escalate, and just have fun when I'm not having any success). It's gotten me kind of far!

>>34907434
Are you the same guy who said that? That it's hopeless and that I can't improve? Because that's the same point I heard.

Well, I'll say it again: I will NOT give up. I haven't even tried that much. I will NOT regard anything that says that I can't do what others can.

Thank you for the advice, two of you three. It's not easy, but I don't want to be desperate. I'm not even into that many women, I'm just wanting to be attractive to satisfy an insecurity, and it needs to stop. If I meet a woman and I think I want to talk to her, I'm going to try to approach her. No worry about "having it" and weaseling out. I thought I didn't have what it takes for YEARS, and I am not going to back down.

I can't go to my usual hangout spot anymore because there's this new girl who's made her interest known and I'm not sure if I wanna ask her out or not, but if I keep showing my face and not asking her out, she'll think I'm not interested or worse a cuck, so it's best if I just don't go until I fully decide.

damn

>>34907648
*worrying

I keep watching some videos and reading articles on attraction and charisma, and they all boil down to being yourself, not being desperate, and chatting it up with the right girls that are attracted to you. That's what I think that perhaps seduction is supposed to be easy when I try it often and meet more people who are into me. I try to be very open-minded too, if someone might not be too compatible with me at first, I try to understand the person a bit. That doesn't mean I'll rapid-fire questions at her, but I'd see how talking to her as I would with people I know works. After all, flirting should be a two-way street, right? To check out her compatibility with me? I should see if she's right for me despite how hot she might be.

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I've been going to the movie theatre alone!

>>34907754
I prefer the library.

How do I talk to nerdy women? I really want a loving relationship with one. Aside from unis and libraries, where do they hang out? They are my only type. I find them super cute. Any tips?

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I feel like no matter what I do, I'll never have a woman be attracted to me ever again.
The last time I ever felt like a woman was attracted to me was almost 10 years ago.
God I want to drink now

>>34907757
Why is that?

>>34908142
I like to read. Plus cute girls.

What's the best ethnicity to marry?

>>34908164
You approach them as they read?

>>34907648
>That it's hopeless and that I can't improve?
Nope. I'm just challenging the concept that there is a easy way out. For most guys its gonna be very hard or they are gonna have to settle for far less than what they really desire. Even the ugly girls have tons of dating options these days.

Its against the spirit of the thread but really sharing game on passport broing or tricking would be way more productive than this >>34903430 if you want things to be easier.

>>34908237
Oh. Sorry if I got too defensive there or came across as such. I wasn't feeling too discouraged. I was just saying that I still can do it, and yeah, it's not easy for me. I know what you mean now. I won't settle, so it will be a very hard road, but I tried settling before and I hated it. If it means choosing the hardest option, then I've got my work cut out for me.

The unattractive ones (both appearances and ones with horrible personalities) have so many desperate men as options, yeah. It makes them spoiled, I know. That, and I've had a ton of success in making girls find me attractive in Mexico, I totally want to go travel with that being one reason why. Yet, I feel as if I should be able to do it here, too. I got pretty close when I attempted it last time. I'm not feeling desperate or even pressured to get some girl to be into me to satisfy my own ego. If I do feel that need to be attractive, I remind myself that it's just my ego talking. Thank you for clarifying anyway!

Anyone with good dating profiles that work on women, what kind of pictures do you use? How many do you have, 6 or 9 or something? You don't have to show me and doxx yourself, just describe them.

>>34908172
If they give the look and smile. Usually they aren't reading though but doing something on a laptop.

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>>34908409
>pic showcasing yourself acting like a portrait
>pic of you doing something fun to show you have interests
>pic of you with friends or family to show youre not a loner
>pic of you with a dog or kids to show a gentle side
>ironic wildcard pic anything of your choosing, ideally to show a sense of humor
>any additional one of your choosing assuming it allows up to 7
At least one of the above should also showcase your body somewhat, not like a shirtless pic but just an indication of your build
Do not use shirtless mirror selfies
Minimize selfies in general

i need to stop being nervous

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Reminder that she expects you to hit on her.

Beautiful women don't fuck cowards.

>>34903922
>trauma dump on your first meeting
lmfaoooo niggas are still doing this shit in 2026

Got my first FWB a month ago. Had sex with her this evening, went and saw on comedian, then had sex with her again. We had a great time, but I left feeling… empty. I’m not really sure why, but maybe loveless sex isn’t for me. There are other possibilities:
>she can’t give head (gag reflex)
>her tits, while big, are pyramid shaped, so looking at them doesn’t turn me on
>her lubrication varies in its sufficiency
>while we get along great, I don’t think she really gets me; I don’t feel seen

>>34908540
...

Yeah, that's why she's a FWB and not a girlfriend. While you have her, you should still be looking for something else.

Any advices or experiences with Japanese people? Just curious.

>>34908540
I've said this a million times, if there's no connection with the girl sex is masturbating with a human being.

It's lame.

>>34908554
Anon, it's a FWB, the "masturbation with a human being" is the point. What is wrong with you guys...

>>34908558
Yes, I know it's the point.
That's empty.
It fucking sucks.
There's nothing wrong with me or with anon.

They thought it would be awesome and they bought a lie.
It sucks.

>>34908559
I guess my point is instead of complaining about how unfulfilling a FWB is, they should be getting an actual girlfriend. ya feel me?

>>34908561
Yeah!
A lot of people place far too much emphasis on sex sex sex - and when they have it - they kinda realize it's.....not the life-altering super fulfilling thing they hyped themselves up to believe.

What they yearn for is the CONNECTION - a woman who LOOKS at you, sees through you, plays with you, messes with you, KNOWS you.

For me, simple foreplay with a girl like that is so much hotter than connection-less sex.

>>34908565
Hey, I agree with all that. Which is why a FWB is merely a stopgap.

>>34908540
>>34908547
this. just get as much girl value out of her as you can while looking for better options, lowkey user her as a wingwoman and try to get other girls numbers while you're out with her, if it won't piss her off too much. also use her as a photographer, bitches love to take pictures

How do I know if I'm exiting a set too early?
I've had girls walk away from me, girls stick around, or look like they're about to walk away...

two events:
earlier tonight
>go up to girl say we should get a drink just immediately, usually I flirt around first
>she says she's 18 and taken
>i say "that's a good combo"
>hear her laugh genuinely at my joke as i walk away
I just thought 10 minutes after leaving I could have said something like,
>we don't have to drink at a bar and your bf doesn't have to know
but I couldn't even imagine saying anything because I can do the OPENING/APPROACH, but I just can't STAY
Before that, a girl who was showing me mad signs gave me her number and I'm seeing her tomorrow, but she's just not what I want.

The best woman I've had was after I tried multiple times/was persistent with her, but other times I even show an ounce of persistence, the girl runs away. I was out recently and girls literally ran from me and ridiculed me, pulling whatever friends showed me interest away.

Say a convo with a woman is going great. Should I ask her for her number or should I ask her if I can give her mine?

By the way, should I even ask? Doesn't that seem too pushy? Maybe I should just tell her, "Hey, I really enjoy talking with you. We should hang sometimes, I can give you my number."

I'm just so divided on it because I don't want to mess up the number part. I got a girl to give me her number before. I said, "Hey, you seem pretty cool. Can I get your number?" Or maybe I asked, "Can I give you my number?" I don't know. But I'm overthinking it so much, I just want to know what's best.

>>34902269
I always thought that. IG is more of a backup option. I've gone for numbers before, I just haven't any good convos in a while to warrant that.

>>34907652
maybe you are a cuck. It's YOUR hangout spot, and you're letting a newcomer make you feel unwelcome.

>>34909228
Well the other issue is I've shown interest back too.

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>>34907652
>I can't go to my hangout spot bevause someone likes me
Just go faggot, and invite her for something.

>>34909234
OK then ask her out, give it a chance. What are you afraid of?

>>34907652
kek you're like the girl i went out with who stopped coming to my college's study center cuz the first date didn't click for her

>>34908547
I guess I’ll get back to that.
>>34908554
I honestly might prefer fapping. I can watch porn and I only have to worry about my own feelings.
>>34908565
I had been on a 3 year dry spell before her and it’s funny how quickly sex went from something I really wanted to just… fine.

how do i know if i am being flirted with

>>34909344
I know what he's afraid of
>asks her out
>suddenly he's banned as the management has decided that he's a creep
Believe me, I know the feeling, the key is handling the rejection with more grace than a russian ballet dancer

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Why does hinge not actually apply filters? I live in a fairly large urban area and I know there should be plenty of women, but the app keeps showing me people in the next (larger) city over. I have the distance filtered to theoretically omit anyone that far away, but im still shown profiles overwhelmingly from there and not local. Like i even tallied them in the amount of time it took to max out the free likes for the day:
>143 profiles shown who were way too far away
>20 profiles shown who were in my actual local area
>82% get dismissed outright because they're simply too far
>Of the remaining 12%, of course half of them were unappealing

>>34909497
88%*

>>34909497
Dating apps are like video games

>>34909553
You didn’t answer the question as usual.

I only seem to match with psychoanalysts on dating apps. I'm cursed.

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>>34909640

>>34909497
Because the app runs out of women from your city and starts ignoring your filters, otherwise you wouldn't have anyone to swipe on.

A woman really needs to feel like dating you is an opportunity she can't miss, otherwise you're playing with a bad hand. A simple test is if she ever messages you first.

>>34909497
>>34909659
And remember, the app doesn't care if you get a date or not, it only wants you using it and paying for features.

Posting this here too

Is there any point to dating if I’m not a funny/entertaining person? I’m just not a funny person, I can’t get people to laugh one on one. And I’m not particularly entertaining either. I just want to have conversations with women, yet it’s obvious women don’t want that because I’m always ghosted. Should I just give up? I’m white, 5’8, and a 6/10, could be a 7/10 if I got rid of my acne scars and styled my hair better

>>34909742
You're fine just the way you are... Just without the anger issues.

>>34909742
The reply in the other thread is correct. Women automatically find guys they're attracted to more funny. Your awkwardness becomes your charm. Try to make yourself look as good as possible.
t. 6.5 clawing my way to an 8

>>34909742
Sure, become rich.

>>34901671
Idk about keeping nerdlove in the OP. The archives have good stuff but I feel like all of his newer articles are just jeets having a crashout

>>34908962
it's generally safest to just ask for hers, so you don't have to rely on a woman taking the initiative

>>34909497
It could be that those women traveled into your target range for work or whatever so the app put them in your stack, but they actually live farther away

so guys I got a number today... unfortunately it was from a homosexual and I didn't ask for it

>>34909896
try and look at it positively, you're desirable to someone at least. maybe you would have success with women

>>34909915
Yeah...

Trying to think of some areas to improve on for my date Saturday.

Firstly I'm not very funny when I'm on a date with a girl. I'm funny amongst a group of people, and I do try and joke, but when I'm on a date I'm much more serious. Any tips on this, even simple games to play like people watching etc?

Secondly I like to go for a kiss maybe 2/3rds of the way through the date, but I tend to go a bit quiet after it, even though the date is going well. Any ideas for that?

>>34909991
>Firstly I'm not very funny when I'm on a date with a girl
>when I'm on a date I'm much more serious
try to find ways to amuse yourself and to tease/antagonize her a little

>>34909991
>but I tend to go a bit quiet after it, even though the date is going well. Any ideas for that?
Obviously the dynamic is going to change after you kiss her, why don't you try to keep escalating with more kisses/touching/sexual comments? She can stop you if she wants, no need to stop yourself, and she'll find it exciting even if she doesn't want to sleep with you that night

>>34909991
>Secondly I like to go for a kiss maybe 2/3rds of the way through the date
Do you people just lean in for a kiss in public and think she finds it romantic? The one time I did this she acted like I assaulted her and blocked me on everything

>>34910118
Semi-private. My most common play is to walk her to her car and kiss her there. If she wants one she’ll always be receptive to it. Anywhere else somewhat secluded on a walk works too. Again, if she’s interested she won’t make it difficult.

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I'm 23 years old and single. What are some qualities women my age look for in men when it comes to dating?

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>>34910250
Go for 18-19 year olds

>>34910256
No. They're too immature. I kinda like older women like my age or 25-27

>>34909888
That worked for me a few years ago. Asking her for hers.

By the way, I hear that a number being given to me means that she might be interested in me romantically or sexually already. Even though I do appreciate my own determination to keep trying and think I am worth it (I am not feeling as insecure or self-hating anymore), I can't imagine what would be so attractive about me.

Would it just be my personality? Maybe how easy I feel with a woman might be it. I kissed a girl a year ago, and she did imply that I was physically attractive to her, but sometimes she said that I was "fine" in terms of appearance. However, what I noticed was that I felt very easy around her. I could be myself around her, even if there was some awkward silence at moments due to my inexperience. It still went well enough for me to kiss her by the third date. But she said she wanted to kiss me, so I didn't make the first move there.

I'm a thin guy with a very young face (my face might be a 6) for a 24-year-old, and I am 5 foot 10. I'm not exactly the dream here, but not bad either (girls have said that I was handsome or showed me a handsome guy and said that it was me). I dress fine, too.

What's my best shot right now? I do want to go back to working out, but right now, what has a better chance of attracting a woman, my appearance or my personality? How I express myself and handle conversations as such?

>>34910265
Glad you think this way. Although in the grand scheme of things you being 23 doesn't make you inherently mature. we're all constantly growing up i guess, some just do it better than others.
t. recently had a bad experience dating a 23 year old as a 29 year old

>>34910250
the qualities that get the best results are dependent on where you live
you basically want to max out dimorphic traits
then be the archetypal guy to the girl you want to meet
so in New York vs kentucky the archetypal guy is much different
the common trats tho are:
clear confidence
dominance
ability to lead
not fearful
comfortable
ability to escalate sexually
abilty to not let a girl emotionally manipulate you

then physical:
more muscle the better
the cleaner the skin the better
the more deliberate the hairstyle the better
clothes that do not distract and have sexual appeal

conclusion :
girls your age are the most sought after, you have barely a chance unless you are clearly a dimorphic maxed specimen

>>34910455
the physical gets girls to go on dates with you and reduces the need for having to work hard on your personality
so that is clearly the winner
but if imprving your looks is going to take a long time or not really going to push you beyond too far then personality is going to be key

conversations should just be you creating a frame and the girl living in it
it really doesn't matter how you express yourself as long as the one setting the frame of the convo is you
but there are frames that girls tend to fall into easily:
playful lala land - where you just make up scenarios and stories taht are nonsensical but involve her and she gets to play along
accusations - where you accuse her of something and she has to defend herself playfully
stories - where you tell a story that has clear beginning struggles ends

im sure you see where this is going

now how women defeat men:
they ask a question and / or ask you to explan yourself
you see, she is maybe unconsciously taking the frame and makin you go to hers
so you don't make it easy
youll fgure it out

just gotta bang a couple dozen girls

Anyone live in Portland or Vancouver and wanna be wingmen? I have no money but I'm pretty good-looking, so if we go out and try and get women, I promise I can leverage my looks to our advantage.

>>34910637
So girls from NYC prefer guys like that huh? I live right next to it, great

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Need some advice
>32
>dating 39 year old Asian milf single mom
>first date coffee, just a hug
>2nd date decent restaurant, I kiss her cheek goodnight
>start planning 3rd date, she was getting over a cold
>I say pic related
>not sure what to say now
I'm not spending any more money on her until I get somewhere physically. She lives right in my town so I'd like to have someone close by to fuck esp cause she has her house all to herself every other weekend. There's a trail near her I was gonna suggest watching on. Or say "we could watch a movie" and let her response (movie theater or at her place) gauge how DTF she is. But she didn't even kiss on the mouth our 2nd date so I'm worried she's gonna take things so slow and idk if I have the patience for that.

>>34910811
This advice could be biased because it works for y younger women, but this where I'd say,
>Let's watch something at my place
or similar.
>Hang at my place
whatever

>tutoring a class with girl I didn't know before
>find her extremely cute
>keeps moving close to me
>always sits next to me
>when someone else took that spot she got visibly a tad annoyed
>in any downtime she keeps trying to do very small conversation and sitting or moving so she can stand right next to me even if I'm far
>if anything happens she looks at me to see my reaction
>learned my name kinda fast
>always smiling at me with a gleam in her eye
>perks up and always paying attention if I say literally anything to her
>always looking at me, I see her from the corner of my eye and I've noticed her she looks away when I look towards her

>when I mentioned I needed to get more tutoring hours somewhere else which are usually done in pairs, she immediately perked up and said I should tell her to do them together because she needs them as well


Like this is an obvious slam dunk right, bit worried of hitting her up and then she declines and now I have to deal with an extremely uncomfortable rest of semester.

>>34910935
Which is why you hit her up in a casual way that, if she's into you, she'll get, but if she declines, it's okay. Something like "hey, let's get a drink" or "hey, wanna come over and hangout?" Really not that hard. Just don't use the dreaded D word
>Hey, wanna go on a date?
That's a hard no.

>>34910959
Yeah figured as much, will probably try to ask for a coffee post tutoring session, thanks.
Nonetheless I'm not going crazy and these are some crazy hints at interest, right?

>>34910969
Yeah, sounds like she's into you for sure.

Oh, and another good one is "let's go out and celebrate". Provided you have something to celebrate, of course. That's when you have to keep it super casual. But I prefer the other ones because they're more overt, so if they say yes, you both know what's up so you can both act accordingly, y'know? Up2u

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Is there any actual way to date as a black guy with autism

>>34911063
I have an autism and actually pass as normal now. Maybe you could too.

>>34908571
>>34908547
I only know how to get girls off hinge. If I change my profile she could see that I changed it and surmise that I’m looking. Not sure if that’s something she would do, and not sure if she would get upset if she did find out.

Just unmatching her is a possibility too. Doubt she would bring it up even if she happened to notice, and if she did I guess I could say I deleted the app.

Honestly is another choice. Just saying I’m casually looking for something more serious but want to keep fucking her until I find it. This sounds like the worst plan honestly.

>>34911076
I mask but I don’t end up sounding or having the demeanor of a normal black guy. Sadly this is attractive to no one

>>34911103
Focus on accepting being human instead of being this bad boy or nice guy. It'll do wonders for you. Your mother will be okay with you as well on that one as will families. But what I tell you is not gonna be easy to discover at first.

>>34911063
A shitton of people have autism to some degree, some theorize the numbers are absurdly higher than right now because it's wildly undiagnosed, and once you do get a proper diagnosis by a competent doctor you see the signs everywhere.

Unless it's absolutely crippling most just live with it, and there really isn't much wrong with it.

Stop thinking more of a "mask" and more of a "fake it till you make it", eventually that becomes second nature and the actual you.

t. assburgers autist.
I just kept faking it and acting like how I would want the real me to act, beneath the autism, and eventually that just became the actual me, I change my voice tones a lot and play around a fair bit, doubly so with people I know better.

>>34911103
Not sure what this means. There’s more than one way to be black, no?
>>34911142
Shut the fuck up.

>>34910819
What if I don't have my own place?
Feels a bit rude to invite myself over to hers.
Is "we could watch a movie" ambiguous enough that she might get the opening to invite me over?
I just don't know if she's ready to fuck when she wouldn't even kiss me on the lips. Some women are weird.
Some black girl I was dating wouldn't let me kiss her except on the cheek on 2nd date, then 3rd date I fingerfucked her in a movie theater and 4th date I fucked her and came on her tits.
So maybe that's a possibility here, who knows?

>>34911204
I'm confused with the assumption of cynicism.

To the anons here and this website, I don't go to parties, do hangouts with groups, was a part of clicks in high school, encountered bullying, and did not face deceptive behavior my entire life. If I come off as depleted or cynical it is due to a lack of experience of how I'm not up to date with how people casually talk to one and another in this world. Maybe you've been around a lot of jerks, but I believe you've got wrong guy and I'm not from your neighborhood, pal. If anything I want to help you. You can't see that and would rather stick to how the people around you see things, I'm afraid I can't help you and you are closed minded to me.

>>34910811
>>34911226
>What if I don't have my own place?
At 32 you should really be prioritizing moving out of your moms basement more than trying to perfect your hobosexual strat

>>34911259
The rent around here is fucktardedly expensive and I'm trying to get a better job so I can afford it. However I'm in my early 30s and I don't buy this whole "men hit their prime at 40 working as some plumber making 95k/yr and fucking 20 year old girls on their boat" bullshit. I want to enjoy sex before I am too old.

Had a date with a girl who works at the same mall as me.
I drove her back to my place where we made out a lot. I really feel like I fucked up not fucking her right there, but she said she'd be back at 9pm, but..
she ended up saying she can't come at 9:30pm
I keep getting these flakes. WHat the fuck? The flakes then end the whole affair completely, too. It's not like I can say anything that will change her mind.

It's literally fuck or be fucked right now, isn't it?
I'm going towards not responding at all, what's the point otherwise?

context: I got flaked on 5 times last month. 1 asked me out, another one made out with me, what the fuck is going on, maybe my breath is bad?

Not sure what I'm doing wrong but i start talking with women online and like a couple weeks will go by and they'll just ghost me and not give me a reason why or anything

>>34911088
>I only know how to get girls off hinge.
How tf? I can never get a girl off hinge.

>>34901850
Depends. If she has a boyfriend already or is a known party slut, avoid. Otherwise you don't really know what's going on. She might be hitting you up to use studying as an opening to get alone with you. Of course she also might just need help with studying so be careful about assumptions.

Sounds like you're closing the door on your own foot. You don't know if she's fucking Chad and it doesn't matter either way. Way it is now, you aren't getting any, if you want a chance, you need to leave the door open. Leaving the door open doesn't mean you're desperate either. You can always leave it open and say no to her later if you find out later that she does sleep around.

>>34911391
Try being happy alone before being with people. By being happy alone these hotties don't take away your happiness that is in your subconscious already. Not to say it isn't inevitable, but it does mean you have a power that the nastiest of this world can't take away. I'll tell you anon throughout my life these simple little things people take for granted has always given me peace but the upvotes, likes, thumbs up, replies, and even the gestures I get, have nothing in comparison to it. I've been at my happiest when it was just me in a room by myself watching my favorite YouTube videos and listening to my music. A girl may call me a lowlife or maybe you could as well, but the fact I found peace alone gave me understanding that I can be happy despite what the world thinks of me. So these assholes that make fun of you for being a virgin and all that shit have no power over me.

>>34911435
Okay just to reiterate to the people here I have not been where you are. The tone of the above post was not meant to cynical, but rather informative in a joking manner.

>>34901671
Are my standards too high if I don't think the woman in the OP is attractive, or do I just have a type and she doesn't fit it?

>>34911391
>i start talking with women online and like a couple weeks will go
why are you talking to them for a few weeks online? you should be asking them out within a few days

>>34911547
nah, she's alright i guess, but I'm not really into her either

If I'm at a pub by myself or whatever should I have something on my phone to look at if things get awkward?

Everyone in my life has seem to get a girlfriend very naturally without cold approaching and not being super attractive. Feels like I’m the only one that has to be forced to go through the humiliation ritual of cold approaching strangers to get a gf

>>34911585
Right? Me and a co-worker got assigned to a new office a week apart and he's got 2/3 women he regularly chats with while people seem to not care much for me.
And we're very similar in build frame, height attractiveness and such.
It's like there's some hidden step that nets you natural friendly relationships with the opposite sex which I'm unaware of.

>>34911585
getting a gf is pure luck my dude
but yea you're correct that if you really want it you need to increase volume
not just cold approach
go to events that occur regularly
join a class
and use ai to get some nice pics of yourself for dating apps

>>34911602
>use ai to get some nice pics of yourself
do people other than indians really do this shit? like what's even the point

>>34911601
i have done the math
80-90% of women are exposed to online sexual market place (ig/dating apps)
which makes them much pickier when it comes to forming LTR
so your chances of meeting one of those rare girls who is not as picky involves a fucked up amount of optimization that I have yet to understand

because if you're meeting girls through online organized events or dating apps you can bet your ass she will eliminate you from LTR potential the second you breathe the wrong way in front of her

>>34911609
ai has gotten good enough that it's hard to spot
and getting yourself better backgrounds to present yourself / pictures is all that matters in dating apps

if you can do that by living a better life and having friends take pics of you then obviously better
but in my experience 99% of guys don't have good pictures of themselves

>>34911601
Exactly some invisible force preventing it or something always preventing it
>>34911602
Events class dating apps are all bs imo if it’s not at uni or work naturally cold approaching seems to be the only way to go

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Any sources for good opening lines for girls with nothing notable on their profile?

>>34911613
most woman-coded comment ever

>guys dont have good pictures of themselves
>look inside
>it's just some truecel

>>34911226
>What if I don't have my own place?
I also live with my folks and it's not an issue, but again, I date younger girls, I can't predict how a 39 year old would react.

>>34911204
I’m black and buff so when people talk to me they get really surprised that I talk the way I do. A lot of women expect something else and when they have conversations with me I can see their disappointment because my personality doesn’t reflect their image of me.

>>34911970
hah, the amount of times I've heard
>You're not like how I'd thought you be
from girls... I know that feel.

>>34901671
>meet an African girl, in a country with barely any black people, she's been living here for some years
>she's really into me, tells me openly she thinks I'm handsome and whatnot
>three dates and I'm already bored of her affection
I must have been mind broken by white women and I expect them to put on a front and pretend they're' not all that interested

>>34911601
There is something to be said about aura. Some people are naturally more charismatic and people are drawn to them. Im assuming you've always been a loner? People who don't interact with others often put off a vibe that makes it seem like you want to be left alone

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>mfw on the date as she's showing me something on her phone a hinge notification pops up saying "x likes you"
>mfw as she tries to hide it I see she has notifications on multiple dating apps
>mfw I have none
>mfw I pay for dinner

>>34912009
Welcome to 2026.

>>34912009
What's the problem? If it's a first date you can't expect her not to use apps

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>>34912024
>first date
[spoiler]It was a second date[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Yes I know this board does not have spoilers.[/spoiler]

>>34912009
lmao this is like conducting a job interview and being offended that the candidate also applied to different companies.

>>34912042
Still early. The problem is that she has options, but you apparently don't

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>>34912010
I want off this hypergamous rock.

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>>34912043
Regardless of my logical understanding of the situation, I felt like a clown. I WILL try and get a third date because what else can I do?
>>34912047
>The problem is that she has options, but you apparently don't
I agree, that is the problem.

>>34912057
good attitude. go in for the kiss if you get through the 3rd

>>34912009
Literally nothing wrong with that. You're supposed to do the same anon. Stop treating women like they're "the one" and go fuck other women as well. Women actually hate when men are only talking to one at a time because it gives them the impression that you're desperate and don't have options or are anti social.

>>34912057
Look at it this way, she was at least embarrassed over the notifications

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>>34912060
I couldn't even get a hug these past few dates. I keep getting mixed signals from this girl.
If I do get another date I'm planning for a bar so we can both loosen up a bit. Fuck it we ball.
>>34912066
IDK, she is impossible to read desu. ESL too.
>>34912064
>Literally nothing wrong with that. You're supposed to do the same anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2s6hW8UORI

>>34912071
Were the first two dates dinner dates?

>>34908526
Look man, I had no intention there. I was nearly blackout drunk and unable to reach home by myself

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>>34912075
1. Coffee date that overran into a long walk and then lunch
2. Short walk then dinner date then accidental second walk because she came with me to return someone's lost property

>>34912005
Yeah. I try to be friendly but I can tell it's like an introvert wearing an extrovert's skin. Or an extrovert who's been taught wrong as a joke.

>>34912086
1. about the apps/notifications - since she didn't open them/reply with you there or do anything else real disrespectful like that I would just ignore it
2. this girl is obviously somewhat into you since she's in no hurry to leave
>I couldn't even get a hug these past few dates
were you touchy or flirty with her at all? did you try to walk her to a secluded place like in a park or somewhere you could kiss?
>ESL too
where is she from?

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>>34912126
>were you touchy or flirty with her at all?
I really struggle with this desu, I suck at flirting and initiating touch. The closest I got was at the end I kind of went close to her to force the hug but nothing.
>did you try to walk her to a secluded place like in a park or somewhere you could kiss?
I didn't even think of that. I was just aiming for a hug not a kiss at this point.
>where is she from?
Japan.

Incidentally, do you know when is actually the right time to stop with dating apps?

>>34912159
>Incidentally, do you know when is actually the right time to stop with dating apps?
NTA, but you wait until she brings up exclusivity, and she will bring it up sooner than later if she likes you

>>34912177
Girls wont necessarily bring it up, a lot of time they still want the man to lead those convos. And by the sound of it, the one Anon is talking to is too passive to bring it up. >>34912159 anon, talk to her about this the next time you see her. You don't have to be needy about it, just ask her if she wants to seriously start dating and that you're open to it.

>>34912159
>I suck at flirting and initiating touch
It's easy to touch her while you're walking, just casually touch her on like the arm or back to get her attention and point something out, or at crosswalks to guide her to go or lightly grab her arm if she's wandering into the road.
>Japan
Maybe she's not comfortable doing much in public and usually gets taken to a love hotel, lol. She might be fine going home with you before she is with kissing you in public.
>when is actually the right time to stop with dating apps?
once you're in a serious relationship

>>34912223
>You don't have to be needy about it, just ask her if she wants to seriously start dating and that you're open to it
It is very needy and low value to ask a woman for a relationship when there has been zero physical contact

>>34912159
You shouldn't be using jew apps to start with.

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The friendzone ain't all that bad or the end of the world.

>>34912223
>Girls wont necessarily bring it up
Then it means she's not very much into you

>>34912256
>>34912392
This is why you guys are single lmao

>>34912595
I'm not anon, but why would you limit your options unless a girl wants you to?

>coworker is on the apps again
>open to short term
I'm tempted, but I'm not very much into her and I like my job

>>34911272
>she wouldn't even kiss me on the lips
Because it might've been an awkward moment. Be assertive and direct about what you want, if she went out on a second date and is open to a third date there's clearly something there.

>>34912928
The apps are a video game.

>>34912987
I don't know what you mean, but apps work well and I like vidya

I've gone out to lunch with a girl a couple times now, not really on a date. I really like her but I dont really understand what to do next. Is the next step to ask her out to dinner via a text? Or would it be better to find something else to do instead? To be honest, I dont know if she is talking to somebody else or anything. I am too awkward for my own good.

Kind of official with this girl (both of us 32), we’ve been dating about a month. Haven’t fucked, but she gave me head.
We see eachother weekly (both busy schedules, especially as of late), and text near daily.
I’m too paranoid/schizo with relationships, or was made to be by my prior ones.
I’m always anxious that she’s lost interest, even though on a logical level things are fine. I can’t help but always feel like it’s hanging on by a thread. Even today, we made plans for twice next week, but I still feel like ‘but is she serious?’.
I think its because initiated the last few texts, and specifically didn’t contact her yesterday to see if she would me, and she didn’t. She has before though.
Like I said, I’m sure things are fine, but my brain goes into like ‘shield mode’ to always brace for the worst. How do I chill the fuck out?
The first few times we went out I had a ‘idgaf about these chicks, I’m doing me’ mindset that I think worked well, but now after investing some time, money, and emotion into this, its hard to not sweat it.

>>34906780
>She made it clear that she isn't looking for a relationship and that if I caught feelings we were done.
Heinous

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>be me, 6 foot hispanic
>volunteer at a kitten cafe event for my local animal shelter at some arts college
>female security guard(around my age) who was letting me in was talking to me about how it's cool i get to spend time with cats and shows me pictures of her cats
>lots of girls show up to event
>cute girl making small talk with me
>another cute girl asks for my name
>cute petite asian girl catches my attention
>don't ask for any of their numbers or try to talk more with them
i know i should've done something, but i'm so exhausted by the amount of ghosts i've received this year that i can't be bothered anymore. just give me a few months and i'll be back in the game

>>34913036
>not really on a date
how is it not a date?

>>34913036
If you're taking a girl out for lunch it's already most likely a date retard, unless one of you have made it explicitly/somewhat obvious that it was just friends going out

I know this is a scumbag question but we are on 4chan if I'm just trying to fuck should I just act like I'm serious about a relationship on the first few dates or should I be upfront and be like I'm just looking for casual?

>>34913305
>>34913353
I work with her. It was more like "Hey you doing anything for lunch on X day?"

>>34913410
Just be upfront and look for casual, don't be a dick and that shit will bite you in the ass sooner or later.
At that point why not just use dating apps which is just fuck fest central

>>34913418
I am using dating apps but when they have looking for long term on the thing most of the time they are expecting something more

>>34913439
>when they have "looking for more than casual" they expect more than casual
...real shit?

>>34913442
What I'm really is asking if I will go to hell if I just fake that I'm long term too and just fuck until they figure it out or I find someone else? I mean is it that different than a normal serious relationship just fading away?

>>34913524
You already know the answer or you wouldn't be asking, at this point you're looking for approval.
You're being a huge dick, and men have no right to bitch about foid games if we do this shit, but no, the world is not gonna explode if you do.

At that point just get a hooker or try to get a friends with benefits in those same dating apps.

>>34913533
>You already know the answer or you wouldn't be asking,
you got me : (

Lowered my usual dose of medicine today, which meant I had less of a shield and felt more my emotions. Later, I went up to a girl to say something, and wow, my heart shot up into my throat for the first time in ages, I could barely get a word out or even breathe. Yeah, talking to girls sober is gonna take some getting used to, good God...

>>34912076
don't drink with a chick unless you're going to fuck her otherwise embarrassing shit like this happens.
and NEVER get drunker than her, if you're drinking just to talk about your feefees than you have no business passing on your mental illness to anyone else and should deal with your problems first. alcohol is for socializing and fucking.