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Additional videos to watch and reflect.

Good starter videos
>Why We Shouldn't Leave Incels Behind
https://youtu.be/xHmDJyVT3g0?si=GEUm2HAZ-I6QpLgY
>How To Get A Girlfriend
https://youtu.be/05tG47pv1vM?si=x6Ngo0hvj7M9L1wn
>Dr. K Breaks Down The Science of Flirting
https://www.youtube.com/live/0k3YUL3iQds?si=OvrpJ6ZNK0je7Ybq
>How To ACTUALLY Find The Right Person For You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSfuHwENzXM
>Why Your Tinder Match Isn't Going To Date You
https://youtu.be/KJX-8C7OHmw?si=5HcbRpJbUa7PE-gO

More for Men
>Why You Should NEVER Confess Your Love
https://youtu.be/xHkcIRZa6lo?si=zGxmCIXyHEAbsXdQ
>Can Men & Women Be Friends?
https://youtu.be/OafdDpFjOIg?si=O4SIMEOF5EzBFKN7
>The Interesting Truth About What Women Need Today & How To Get What YOU Want!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2mD6_g3xpk
>5 Harsh Realities About Women | Every Man MUST Face Alone!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkhLybpZKzI

More for women
>10 Brutal Dating Tips for Women That Women Need to Hear | And Men Need to Share!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCMKgpl7HW4
>Why You're The Least Valuable Friend
https://youtu.be/ql5sWIEAcFw?si=lYx6LPTx8xaaS7OM
>Why Women Can't Find A Soulmate
https://youtu.be/58kdlgKvEU0?si=ZskCXZLFY1iMmbpF
>A Perspective on Female Loneliness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbGZaGzWdfs

Extras
>How Your Brain Perceives Love When You Have Autism
https://youtu.be/KlSsI2CKYaQ?si=1XYAjx97G9oeNeS_
>Men Are Getting This Totally Wrong About Being A Simp or Nice Guy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn-U2Sx4spo
>The Addiction Women Can't Talk About
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDv-bX7Pegg
>Your Standards Are Way Higher Than They Should Be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diIc5e2RLKI
>"Why Women Deserve Less": Myron Gaines Loves Projection & Bad Math
https://youtu.be/u6QcjXub8fo?si=6TaYexKVRHBncmOm
>Why 40% Of Young Men Need Erectile Retraining
https://youtu.be/2MwTDoT8q_A?si=C-7aytPOjXwgOuIX

>>34970555
>I also don’t know if it’s weird if I respond or text again when I was the last to send a message and she just heart reacted it
Why would it be weird? The conversation ended and you'll start a new one by asking her out. Come on dude if you had pussy before you know more or less how this shit goes, if she wants to meet she'll make it easy.

And having sex is important if you want the relationship to move forward, and sex feels good right? So why not move towards sex? Trust me, invite her for drinks, touch her, kiss, and then invite her over, just let your desire for her guide you while respecting her boundaries.

>>34970788
Seduction is an art in a way. Between two healthy people it takes openess and emotional intimacy while keeping boundaries. Time is also important, healthy women take some time to warm up to you.
Female desire is complex, but not in the sense that you have to figure out magic words or behaviors.
Idk man, the key is spending time with her, doing fun things, presenting who you are in an unassuming way, and she'll warm up to you. Every woman has her time, some get intimate in 1 or 2 dates some take 4-5. Patience is key!

>>34973381
Hmm...

Well, it seems you're naturally aware of social dynamics unlike the other autists here, so you know your dynamic with this girl way better than any of us here, but let me tell you what I think.

Keep trying to strike conversations with her. If she is a late night gamer it's possible she doesn't have much experience dating.

What you want to know is if she is open to dating and if she's open to dating you, meaning, if she thinks you're attractive or not.

Maybe try "so you're a gamer huh?" or something like that. Something very casual and get a conversation going beyond just "hi" and her "bullying". If the conversation develops, invite her for something casual and easy, maybe coffee, or maybe a spot to grab a bite close to your job.

You want to establish rapport with her. When you talk smile randomly and see if she smiles back. You know, there are things a woman does when she's somewhat interested. You take it from there and keep escalating, it's your job as a man to break barriers... present yourself to her and let her decide if she likes you.

>Was always dating, fucking, or at least talking to someone all through high school
>Had a lot of sex during college
>2020 hits
>Working full time since then
>Moved to a different state
>Lucky if I get 1 date a year
>29
Where the fuck do I meet women as a functional adult? I know it's not a personality issue. Women like me and I've always had more female friends than male, but my normal day to day does not involve women at all. I work, lift, and work on personal projects at home.

>>34974000
Dating apps.

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>htdg
>hotdog

>>34974000
Once you start hitting 30 and have a "life" it gets a bit harder. Most I can recommend is find some local meet ups or hobby groups, even give in to trivia night because shit like that still beats sitting at home. If all else fails, try even starting your own groups and see who turns up.

The hiking group I'm in is barely 3 years old and gets a surprisingly good amount of people. Even something simple as coffee and chat will bring people in.

>>34974106
>Most I can recommend is find some local meet ups or hobby groups, even give in to trivia night because shit like that still beats sitting at home. If all else fails, try even starting your own groups and see who turns up.
Yeah, I also recommend pottery, mini-golf...
hahahahaha bro shut up

Dating apps are simply better and you can find women who align with you. Kids, politics, age, etc etc all the eliminatory info is there before you even meet the person.
You go on some "trivia night" shit and waste time on a single mom... fuck off.

How do you approach the 6 month mask off phase? Do you remain optimistically detached? Does the honeymoon phase just not apply to you?
It seems like for me that around that time for me things start going downhill. The chemistry at the beginning is always good, we have talks about our future plans which we usually agree on, we leave each other spent in bed, we generally get along quite well, but I can't seem to find a genuine person. It seems to regularly come up that they were dishonest about something that I don't have a feasible way of vetting for.
>changed my mind! I don't want kids.
>changed my mind! I wanna go poly.
>changed my mind! I'm gonna cheat.
>changed my mind! I need to find myself.
>etc.
I'm fun to be around for the first few months, but they either have some other shit going on or get bored even though I present myself consistently. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.

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>>34974263
Sucks to suck lol

>>34974272

That's a bit of a hard one. There are a lot of variables that can go in to that. It could just be simply bad luck. At the same time it could be you are subconsciously choosing people based off a type of attachment style you have. How do these people act around you and how do you feel around them? I have a long video that deep dives in to that but it might be worth watching a bit too see if maybe the genral personality you go for leads why you keep picking fickle women.

https://youtu.be/FAzsArI7QJo?is=zsoWMYZlziWUd1Zv

>>34974433
Initially we start of friendly, we share space and get to know each other passively, eventually they show some kind of attraction to me and one thing leads to another, there. I try to go for women who seem to think for themselves, they could be artistic, spiritual, or some other alternative niche, but the typical soon to be Facebook mom just doesn't intrest me in the slightest. It's not necessarily like I'm looking for a shrew to tame, though I do like the tomboyish type, just someone sincere and thoughtful. Unapologetically themselves and want to share that picture frame with me, as I do them. They always present themselves passionately that way, but it just falls apart. I'm not a saint or perfect by any stretch but I own myself, too.

When we're in public or private they seem initially excited to see me when I'm around and openly affectionate. We can smile, laugh, joke, or chill, and just enjoy each other's company. I can't even tell you how often they've felt so at ease with me that they just pass out in my lap before waking up all affectionate again. I've normally felt pretty comfortable up until things change on the other end, and most recently I felt pretty anxious for a few months about her behavior at that point. I clocked that this was going to happen again, but decided to ride it out a little just in case it's me projecting trauma, but I was disappointed again. She moved like a cheater, assured me everything was fine, then all but verifiably cheated. Plausible denyablity and all that, but all the other signs were there before she moved on to another guy within a couple days of saying I love you for the last time.

Been working a part-time retail job for two months now to build a social circle. There's a girl I've become attracted to, let's call her Jade. About 3 weeks ago we were walking to our cars and I asked Jade and the other girl, "Do I seem unapproachable? I've been meaning to say hi, but *I forgot* ". Jade said, "No, I'm just shy!" and the other girl said "No, I don't think so." I laughed, said okay great.

A week later, I'm leaving the bathroom and Jade happens to leave the breakroom. I'm walking right behind her. Suddenly she says loudly, "Hi!" I say "Hi!" back and she laughed. I said, "See, that wasn't too hard was it?" She went on about how she is shy but likes to bully people.

Since then, I've tried to say hi to her whenever I first see her. However, every time I say hi, I'm met with a meek, awkward hi in response. The past week, I've tried to start a conversation with her twice because apparently she is a degenerate late night gamer like me. However, the conversations would always awkwardly end after MAYBE 10-15 seconds and I'm a pretty good conversationalist.

She is a yapper with the other female employees and will occasionally chat with some of the male employees but seems to keep to herself. The other women at work are pretty open to chatting and normal. It's like she only seems awkward with me. I haven't even made any advances towards her besides saying hi. Even the other girl I asked out which she told me she had a boyfriend isn't awkward with me. We still can yap and laugh for minutes at a time.

We've had brief exchanges where she is "bullying" me.

Tonight we were about to converge into each other and just as we were, she unnaturally sped up with the cart. I don't know if she was trying to avoid me or be funny but I simply thought, "wtf?" in my head. It was in but out of character for her.

Any advice?

>>34974748
Sounds like she's genuine kept a bit socially awkward and probably doesn't know how to develop a conversation naturally.
Have you tried asking her something specific without being leery?
If you know she's into gaming why don't you try that?
"Hey"
"Hey"
"What are you playing at the minute?"
Then let her chat. She will likely be more confident speaking about something she's confident thinking about. After she's spoken tell her "I've recently been into ..... don't bully me over that though!" She'll doa little giggle and to her that will confirm you've listened to her previously.

I (35m) live a happy lifestyle that I feel is incompatible with dating, but a coworker (25f) is practically falling heads over heels for me. What do I do?

I have the ability to comfortably live on my own (and have done so) but I find no joy in life if I'm not taking care of someone else, so I live with my parents so I can take care of them.

I live with my German parents in the united states. They instilled such a strong sense of self-reliance and do-it-yourself in me that when I first lived on my own, I almost didn't notice a difference.

It was so unfulfilling being by myself that I found I'd rather work part-time and use that money to save for retirement, pay my bills, pay a bit of my parent's mortgage, and travel the world multiple times a year, rather than work a traditional office job just so I can pay for a nice apartment I'm not happy in.

My parents own a large 5 bed 3 bath house, they love that I live with them and they love all the work I do for them. I schedule my days off when they work to give myself some privacy and I always work on their days off so they get privacy at home as well.

Thanks to my College education I can get a full time job and move out whenever I want, I simply don't want to because I find that living while not taking care of someone else is miserable.

I am fully aware of the living at home stereotypes, but when I look into that adult child caricature I do not see myself at all. My friends ask me for home care advice, I give tax advice, my credit score is over 800, I buy cars on loan and pay them off, I silently judge you when you load the dishwasher wrong. Homecare is easy, I know because I've lived all alone myself.

Sorry for the long backstory, but a coworker at my part time job is so obviously into me that even a man can notice her hints lol. I am a somewhat aromantic individual but there's just something about her that is so pleasing to talk to that dare I say I kinda like her back.

>>34975122

2/2

This made me think. I am okay with moving out If I ever find a woman that I would want to start a life with. Not her, just women in general.

Will most women be okay with how I live? should I respond to my coworkers advances? should I be respectful of her time and deny her advances? I don't know what to do.

>>34975122
>I find that living while not taking care of someone else is miserable.
Move out and get a dog. I'm serious.

>>34975122
>but I find no joy in life if I'm not taking care of someone else

Do you do anything to take care of yourself or others in any way? I get your logic of it, you have a need to want to take care of someone else and a gf is a logical way to get that need met. However you don't need a girl friend in order to get that need met as well.

I would really recommend looking in to light community work or finding ways to help out your broader friends and family with things. One thing I have come to find from my research is that trying to go a simple, good deed or being nice to a stranger in a small way can be very rewarding and also help or meet that need.

I say this too because it is very common for people to mix that need of wanting to be needed by people with that of a romantic relationship which can lead you open for a toxic relationship and abuse.

>>34974000
>I work, lift, and work on personal projects at home.
So you don't go out to events or hang out with your friends?

>>34974512
It does seem like a specific pattern where women only want you for a bit of short term emotional support or just a short term boy friend. That kind of sounds like a more complex issue of what you are attracted too and your attachment styles.

Since you said you had a preference for tomboyish types, it could be that which isn't really a bad thing persay. Tomboys are very independent and masculine, so they also have a tendency to have the same issues as men where they are more avoidant and have that mindset of being stoic.

I guess a question too is what are you like? Are you someone who is more of a chill homebody or are you also someone who is very independent?

>>34974748
>We've had brief exchanges where she is "bullying" me.

If it is just playful bullying then that is good. That's actually a sign that they like you on some level. Do you also playfully bully her back? I think it would be a good idea to play back with her and then during the luuls talk to her normally and see where it goes.

Women love guys who aren't afraid to be around other people.

>>34974000
Found my wife on instagram. She said my art was beautiful. She was a clear 10/10 so I locked it down. 2nd baby on the way now

TBQH I don't know how you even got laid in college if things magically dried up after.... It's no different. Just talk to women, at the grocery store, at the post office, at the gym. If you're good looking then women love to be approached by you.

>>34973558
kek

How can I avoid being the guy she wants to hang out with while some other legend is fucking her on the weekends?

>>34979313
You should fuck a woman within 1-3 weeks of first talking to her. If you don't something is off, could be you not having balls to escalate, a general lack of chemistry, etc...

>>34979135
Both my ex and current girlfriend invited me to hang out with her friends early on.
My ex did it after we had sex for the first time.

My current gf invited me to a friend's birthday for our second "date". She did give me the option to meet another other day but I took the chance and went anyway.
It turned out to be a good decision. I liked her friends and after we went to her place and fucked, and now she's my gf.

So her inviting you to social things is always a positive, it means she's proud to be seen with you.
You don't have to talk much, she just wants to see you at ease around people. Are you polite? Are you interested in getting to know her friends? It's so easy... People are like a puzzle, it's fun to ask questions and put things together in your head.

>>34978546
My friends are even more bitchless than I am. I go to concerts, raves, and cons when they're around but that's about it.
>>34979143
>If you're good looking
I'm a 4 on a good day but I'm fit and dress well. School does a lot of the work of approaching people for you. I can talk to anyone if I have a reason to, like a shared activity, but randomly approaching girls? Never been something I'm good at.

>>34979313

anon ignore >>34979455. There is no guaranteed time frame of when you should or shouldn't fuck a woman. The "legend" fucking her is exactly that, nothing more than a story. He is no more of an epic hero than you or me and he also more than likely spent months to even years trying to fuck her.

Dating and fucking women can sometimes be a long game. It's only a short game if you want to fuck floosy women or want to pay for a hooker. If all you want is for women to instantly fuck you the moment you walk in to a room then start hussling and learn how to buy whore and strippers because that is pretty much the only sure fire way to get it.

Other than that, either accept that she is fucking other dudes like the rest of the world has or leave. There is nothing wrong with the friend zone, you just have you decide if you want a friend or something else. Friendship always has it's benefits though. Sticking around can still pay off in other ways and can even lead to you find someone better. Some of these videos might help.

>You are just the “Filler Friend”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1NlyTN5ViU
>How to Have A Personality
https://youtu.be/t_NRIVq2vzM?si=scHir9npFGl3kyrx
>Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People (Here's Why)
https://youtu.be/nujgUpYIVOE?si=OaB-kRR_7Amv8S0R
>Is It Possible to Avoid the Friend Zone?
https://youtu.be/KtkL40jRLvU?si=Nb-UquPf8XqOLlyV

>>34979521
>I can talk to anyone if I have a reason to, like a shared activity, but randomly approaching girls? Never been something I'm good at.

I think that is your problem. Don't talk to strangers, talk to your friends. The most common way relationships start is from people who where friends first. The most happy and successful are those who started as friends. If you don't have any friends you think are worth dating then start getting new friends or try to explore a bit more with the ones you do have.

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>>34974091

>>34979649
Bullshit

>There is no guaranteed time frame of when you should or shouldn't fuck a woman
You are partially correct, but it still shouldn't take more than 3 weeks, a month tops.
If sex doesn't happen by then, something is off. A man and a woman who are attracted to each other will have sex within this timeframe because there's no reason not to.

For the woman, the only reasonable motive for her to hold out on sex beyond a month is if she's a virgin. She never had sex before and she waited for the right person, then yes, completely understandable.

If she's not a virgin there are only bad reasons for her to hold out.
>she's not sexually attracted to you
She should be attracted to you within the first few days of meeting. Attraction is not something that happens over many weeks and many conversations, it should happen almost instantly.
If she's attracted maybe she wants to figure out if you're serious about her, then yeah, she can hold out for like 3 dates... that's not great, but acceptable.

>she's into some weird "I gave myself out way too easily before now I want to respect myself" shit or other bullshit like that
This is the absolute worst. Not only is this bitch crazy for associating sex with morality, she also associates sex with some sort of "reward" she can give out to men, and you absolutely don't want that in your life.
It could also mean she has low libido. I want a relationship with woman who wants to fuck pretty much every day and I want her to see sex as a fun activity instead of a moral or power dynamic thing.

>>34979649
>It's only a short game if you want to fuck floosy women or want to pay for a hooker. If all you want is for women to instantly fuck you the moment you walk in to a room then start hussling and learn how to buy whore and strippers
Of course when sex comes too easily it is also a red flag. If she's dtf before getting to know the bare minimum about you, then she probably has issues because she dissociates sex from emotional connection.
When I say you should have sex within a month it doesn't mean you should seek hoes.

>>34978599
I'm a bit ambiverted, I suppose. My natural inclination is to be home or in nature somewhere, but I'm quite self directed with my time and I don't mind enjoying a night out, either. I even suggest it regularly. One bit of criticism, though I don't know for sure if it was intended that way, was from my most recent ex. She noted that I seemed to like observing a lot, but I don't think she saw the full picture. Just because you ran off to go talk to your friends, doesn't mean that I was sitting in the corner pissing myself while you were gone. I talked to quite a few people, and had good conversations with those who I would likely never ever meet again, even in front of her.

What seems more likely to me is that she was more on the avoidant side as you suggest, but the sad part is that you can only help people like that so much. She probably painted a narrative about me in her head to make a decision seem more logical. Attachment styles are a fucking pain, dude. Half the population has some sort of dysfunction. Even I used to be more on the anxious side, but I worked hard to become secure, more objective, and willing to give some measured grace based on circumstance.

Looking back on it, this was my first run in with a more overt avoidant, and if the others were as well, they presented themselves rather differently. Excuse baking some venting into this, it feels somewhat fresh still, and it's relevant for context.

>>34979807
>but it still shouldn't take more than 3 weeks, a month tops.
And where did this rule and law come from? How long it takes for you to get in to a woman's pants is still up to the woman. You don't know what's going on in her life. Not all women are the same, some take more, some take less. Trad women won't fuck till they're married which can take years. There is no set in stone time frame, laws, or rules to fucking women. They all have their own rules and boundaries that you have to respect.

>She should be attracted to you within the first few days of meeting.
>Attraction is not something that happens over many weeks and many conversations, it should happen almost instantly.
Again, no. In fact, it's actually backed up by science.

>The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8892041/

>On average, friends-first initiators were friends for 21.90 months prior to becoming romantic partners (SD = 28.23; Mdn = 12; Mode = 12; range from 1 to 180 months). The length of these friendships stands in stark contrast to dating initiation, which typically occurs between relative strangers (e.g., Barelds & Barelds-Dijkstra, 2007). Furthermore, the vast majority of these university students did not enter into their friendships with romantic intentions or attraction (Table 5).

No, it should not take you 3 weeks or less to fuck a girl unless you are going for a woman who is a turbo slut. If you want to get laid like a NORMAL human being, it's not going to take 3 weeks. It's backed by actual science and not liberal pop science or redpill research.

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My dad had a retirement party last night. There was a cute latina bartender there that I liked and she was my type. She actually works with my dad at his second part time job (they bartend together). My sister was also gassing her up at the party and got her instagram. She introduced us to each other and I ordered a drink. That was about the extent that we talked to each other. Im wondering how I can salvage this situation since I was kind of being a timid beta and didnt talk to her myself outside of the brief introduction. I mean my sister did get her instagram, and my dad does work with her but I dont drink often or go to his bar a lot. Wondering if I blew my chance and should just move on or to be a creep on talk to her on instagram

>>34979974
You are fine anon. It actually adds a lot more context and you explored a lot more and I think even found the real reason why she broke up with you and why your past relationships ended.

I think it would be a good idea to explore attachment styles because that can either help you avoid the avoidants, know how to to sooth them so they don't try to avoid you, or to find people who have secure attachments so you don't have to do more work for yourself or them.

I haven't watch the first video on the list, but I do think it might have some good incite for you. The other two I have watched many times and I think those two will def help you a on your next one.

>Stop Overcorrecting Your Attachment Style (Viewer Interview)
https://youtu.be/Ads8VOa0qKQ?si=dM8vDfsADiAz_4kA
>How To ACTUALLY Find The Right Person For You
https://youtu.be/iSfuHwENzXM?si=gSZ5xcnzcuk408E-
>Why Chasing Red Flags Leads To Love
https://youtu.be/BHf0L8dZJbE?si=IKU1MswECCxwhDyC

>>34980007
>or to be a creep on talk to her on instagram.
It's not creepy to talk to her on instagram. What makes it creepy is if you act creepy. Or if she's actually a total bitch and thinks it's creepy but that's neither here or there.

Either way, casually talking to her and seeing her is going to be your best bet. I know you said you don't drink or go to his bar a lot, but it could be a good idea to visit her more and start making casual conversation and getting to know her. You don't even need to drink desu, I'm sure after spending however many hours bar tending she'll probably want to get away from booze.

>>34979982
>And where did this rule and law come from?
Ain't a law, just my perception from know how human desire and libido works.
>Trad women won't fuck till they're married which can take years
"Trad" = code for crazy. I don't stick my dick in crazy. To each their own I guess.

>It's backed by actual science and not liberal pop science or redpill research
How does the study you posted invalidate what I said at all? Is it saying that relationships that start out as long friendships can also work? Ok... sure?
Does it say that having sex within a month means your relationship is doomed?
If you want to befriend a woman for 22 months before fucking her then go right ahead.

>>34980033
Yeah, I know a bit about this stuff already. I've done a good deal of therapy, and some personal research. Part of my problem is that I give a lot. I've put a ton of effort into the person and the relationship, such as helping them get a new job, build friend groups for themselves, and a big gesture or two of affection. I think all that, plus the future fantasy, plans, and such, puts a lot of pressure on them, and freaks them out. However, no amount of consoling or space or whatever have you is enough to convince them of my patience and willingness to let things be as they are. I couldn't be more clear that I don't want to rob them of their independence, that they can process things on their own and take time to figure things out, but they refuse to see it any other way. It just baffles me that, despite framing oneself as thoughtful and open minded, there is such resistance to some belief they've gotten into their head when it was clear that we deep down want the same things.

>>34980114
>>34980033
Forgot to add that I'll still give these a watch, and I appreciate you helping and hearing me out on this.

>>34980088
You're entire original post is saying that if you don't fuck a woman with in 3 months of dating or knowing them that something is wrong when that isn't any further from the truth at all.

You even made the statement
>She should be attracted to you within the first few days of meeting. Attraction is not something that happens over many weeks and many conversations, it should happen almost instantly.
Which is absolutely false and even proven by science that attraction is something that usually takes literal years to build.

>Ain't a law, just my perception from know how human desire and libido works.
you clearly don't which is why you think in retarded absolutes and trying to gaslight your own fucking posts. You're right in the fact that outliers and luck exists, but any retard can catch that you are feeding bullshit gambles that you can't even back up yourself.

Remember to see the person you love's human side when they are emotional and angry. They may say the nastiest shit in the world but still love you deep down inside.

>>34980047
do you think I should just not even talk to her on instagram then? and just try to do it in person? I get pretty bad anxiety when I have to make the first move in person and I usually go on dates when Ive talked on dating apps first, because I feel uncomfortable otherwise.

>>34980152
>proven by science that attraction is something that usually takes literal years to build
What??? Shut the fuck up dude. Crazy motherfucker. People date and fuck within 3 dates all the time. I've dated many women and I can tell you 100% we were both attracted to each other within a couple of weeks because sex happened and it was good. Sex is good and people like it. You're just a virgin moralfag. Go have sex, it's not a big deal bro.

I fucked my current girlfriend on the second date, less than 20 days after we met.

>you think in retarded absolutes
No I don't. My advice is don't waste time with women who aren't attracted to you or are crazy and think sex is a moral or power dynamic thing. I told you, if you want that in your life go right ahead, find a church and befriend a crazie there for 3 years before fucking. Good luck have fun.

>>34980152
>attraction is something that usually takes literal years to build
What science proves that? Are you mistaking the deeper form of love, when two people have been together through years, with what attraction is- instant judgement of whether that person is worth it?
A deeper form of love will never build without initial attraction. All that happens is a toxic relationship where both people become burdens while wishing they were with someone better.

>>34980201
Both of you have to try not to be hurtful while angry

>>34980277
>do you think I should just not even talk to her on instagram then? and just try to do it in person?

I'm going to throw that back on you there. Do what you think is right and will make you feel comfortable. the more uncomfortable you feel, the more she is going to feel. Remember the core of any relationship is security and stability. You can still feel scared, but if you don't feel stable then you're probably gonna blow it.

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>>34980313
>>34980348
>People date and fuck within 3 dates all the time.
Correct, and people date and fuck after 4 or more dates all the time too.

So here's your post, highlighted with what you said. What exactly did you mean by "but it still shouldn't take more than 3 weeks, a month tops." because it sure seems like you think it "should" be in a 3 week period as if it's some sort of hard set rule or fact.

>She should be attracted to you within the first few days of meeting. Attraction is not something that happens over many weeks and many conversations, it should happen almost instantly.
>What science proves that? Are you mistaking the deeper form of love, when two people have been together through years, with what attraction is- instant judgement of whether that person is worth it?

Already posted >>34979982
>The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8892041/

>On average, friends-first initiators were friends for 21.90 months prior to becoming romantic partners (SD = 28.23; Mdn = 12; Mode = 12; range from 1 to 180 months). The length of these friendships stands in stark contrast to dating initiation, which typically occurs between relative strangers

Can literally read or ctrl+f the exact wording. On average most people start off as friends before they develop romantic feelings for one another. You should not expect "instant attraction" with a complete stranger or someone you barely know.

>All that happens is a toxic relationship where both people become burdens while wishing they were with someone better.
Sure, if you're an immature, self absorbed child who only view women as objects and think getting poon makes you a "high value" man. I'm sure your tater tot advice works real well.

>Shut the fuck up dude.
Make me fagot lol.

Guys who get laid off of apps a lot, what is your body fat %?

whitepill me on women pls
went to some many failed dates from hinge recently, all went ~nowhere, but I am afraid it might affect the perception of the women overall negatively which can lead for me to become an incel of some sort

>>34980993
There are women who are way too normie who will never be on those sites. You are getting a small pool of the worst type of desperate woman.
>inb4 everyone uses it, even zoomies
yes, but they always end up dating their peers and use the app for validation. The normie women I met would never make one but they also thought a guy would fall on her lap so, you're a bit unlucky that way. Try places where you'd want your future wife to be, like volunteering or dance classes to pass the time.

>>34980474
>study based on college students and people over 45 yo
yea that's a bulshit study to cite if you want to prove what you're saying
most people here were not born in the 70s nor are we college students

for the majority of adults friends to lovers is the most rare

>>34973462
What if you have no car, no place of your own, and work in retail as a common associate at 26?

>>34981211
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM

>>34980474
>median 12, mode 12, average 22
>uses average
This is why people don't trust statistics.

>>34981211
only do night shifts
take up a gig as a dj on days off
and there you go
you are living a degenerate life might as well fully embrace it

>>34980474
>You should not expect "instant attraction" with a complete stranger or someone you barely know.

average is le good and oofy doofies actually rock

>>34981211
Women won't care so long as you are social and confident. Another big factor is if you are actually trying to improve yourself or working on something in any capacity. Women want someone who will grow, not stagnate.

>>34981276
That doesn't exactly seem like an ideal plan.

>>34981600
he already fucked his life by being 26 with a retail job
he either fixes his life goes to college or take the fun easy way

>>34980474
>>The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science
>https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8892041/
Respectfully that's a study done by 3 women and therefore irrelevant to heterosexual male behavior.
What this study actually says is that you shouldn't hesitate to be interested in your female friends but "trying to be friends first" is dishonest to both of you.

>>34981020
>Volunteering
Meme unless it's something high impact (disaster relief or animal rescue), protracted & productive activity (refurbishment, tiny house building things where you continuously do comparatively complex things) or entertainment related (volunteering at festivals will pretty much always get you laid especially if you work in the drug checking department).
Picking up trash, handing out soup, cleaning up hoarder houses or rotting in a charity shop will never get you laid ever.

99% of the time this advice is given as a means of extracting labor out of desperate men.
That being said >>34980993 the other nigga is right in that online dating heavily skews towards dregs.
What's your budget?
Maybe try going to a glass blowing course and/or drum circle.
Kooky art hoes tend to have somewhat more normal but still tolerant of autism friends.

>>34981897
>>34981020
Oh and also dance class is boomer tier more often than not.
I'm probably the only one I know it's ever worked for but it was a really specific situation.

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>>34981870
>Respectfully that's a study done by 3 women and therefore irrelevant to heterosexual male behavior.
>Women aren't relevant to heterosexual male behavior.

Posts like these should be put in a museum. It's pure art how retarded some people are.

>>34980993
Dating apps are garbage in general. >>34973466 has a few videos on the psychology and harsher truths on dating apps. It's always important to remember that women aren't all the same and are individuals who also have their own problems and insecurities. Most of them also fell for the dating app meme just like you and are realizing that this isn't working or using it as a shallow ego boost which will just send both them and others down the incel/sexism hole.

It really is best to get off of them and go out and talk to people in more safe and neutral spaces than online where the goal is to just get matches based off a few lines of text and cherry picked pictures of your best moments.

You should also look in to your own mental health and attachment styles because that too greatly effects what women that you are attracted too and how you go about treating yourself and the relationship dynamic.

>The Misogyny Pipeline EXPLAINED
https://youtu.be/kHtdGIMxD88?si=MHAde_3pNRn1Qq0b
>Addressing Misogyny
https://youtu.be/_z9jJFq3Hz0?si=v7NFiYBe9ngpwMkx
>How Your Negativity Becomes Contagious (And How To Fix It)
https://youtu.be/0j_z0xHF8DM?si=UjQvC-vXBcDE7vQn
>How To Actually Process Your Emotions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLXDC_vrsc

>>34981897
>>34981902
I agree 50%. Charity work is generally a meme but the real issue is when you treat it like a job or your true purpose in life.

An unfortunate truth about life and dating is that there is a lot of transaction to it so what you do and skills you have will always been taken in to account. Saying you do charity work from time to time will still look very good towards other people and will make you more attractive. It sends the message that you aren't a lazy, self centered asshole who is empathetic, supportive and someone willing to take charge and make change. In general it's been proven that doing any kind of charity from even the tiniest act is good for your mental health and over all well being. You don't really have to sacrifice every weekend repainting inner city schools, just buying that kid who dropped his ice cream will both make you feel good and preceived as more attractive.

Charity is also still good because it is a social activity so being a regular in groups will get your social skills up, make connections and potentially met someone as well. Animal rescue is a good one but I also recommend finding community or inner city farm projects to do as well as the work is a much lower skill level and the physicality of it is a work out in itself so you kill almost 4 birds with one stone.

Dance class isn't boomer tier. Having random, fun skills and hobbies are always good as well and also shows that you are someone generally more productive, active and fun to be around. To me what makes a hobby "productive" is if it can benefit others in some way. People want to be entertained so knowing how to dance and handling being the center of attention is very good to have. Also why cooking and baking are good hobbies as they are both easy to learn and benefits everyone with food.

>>34982655
What are my volunteering options that don't benefit non-whites?

>>34982694
yeah that's the huge issue, in NYC it's only helping black/hispanics exclusively
I guess in theory you can find some charity work helping small number of white refugies eg ukranians

>>34982694
killing yourself.

I like working out and practicing classical guitar everyday, how do I leverage this to actually meet people? I am taking an extended break from dating apps because my statistics are demoralizing as shit, probably because my pictures are mid. I am tall and look fine so its not like im dysgenetic, I just have little oppurtunities to meet people. I am good at talking to people professionally but I need to get better at being relaxed talking to people, I already feel like I am less autistic now that I dont smoke weed every night. Im thinking of taking some art classes despite being absolutely ass at drawing/painting. I tried a speed dating event before and it was a scam, I also realized that I dont wanna be a loser like all the other despondent dudes there lmao.

>>34980474
>if you're an immature, self absorbed child who only view women as objects and think getting poon makes you a "high value" man. I'm sure your tater tot advice works real well.
I'm not a redpill retard, if I was I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I date with intention and I can't even get hard with casual hookups.

My point stands. There's nothing wrong with having sex early on and you should have sex if you like the woman and she likes you. Sex improves intimacy and it feels good that's why you should do it.

This study you keep posting doesn't refute me, yes you can be friends and then move into a relationship but that's not necessary at all, in fact I think it's ill advised because you run the risk of the woman rejecting you way down the line.

>>34981297
>Another big factor is if you are actually trying to improve yourself or working on something in any capacity
This is what's actually important. She doesn't want you to have given up on life, that's all. You should be ambitious but not necessarily ambition to be wealthy, but ambition to improve your own life because you want to.
Do you want to have no car and life with your parents forever? I imagine you don't, so you should keep working on changing that. Women hate resigned and lazy men, if you're not that you'll have no trouble attracting women.

>>34982916
>This study you keep posting doesn't refute me
No it does. Because you are still a retard who thinks in strong absolutes when I have given you proven science that says otherwise. You keep trying to push that there is some hard coded rules and milestones that if X, Y, and Z don't happen in this time frame that you're completely boned when the fact is not only are your measurements of said milestones completely off, but those said milestones when missed don't even make that big of an impact across the board.

Dating is not a literal game. There are no check points or set chapters. You need to break out of the retarded mindset that life has "fixed points in time" like a Doctor Who episode and live life to the real facts that life isn't hard coded and that anything can be achieved at any time with the right person.

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Found this video today. Does a fantastic job showing how chud dating is completely flawed, by showing how flawed feminist and pinkpilled rhetorics and research is wrong.

>The Good Men Did Not Disappear
https://youtu.be/eZxgreSvAAQ?si=jhr5D-XyDFglqT8i

>In 2009 Okcupid published in 2009 that women rated 80% of men below average in looks.
>What was left out, also stated in the original data published, was that those same women messaged those men across the entire curve.

Women literally do not care that much about your looks or how fat your wallet is. Only shallow thots and whores do.

>>34974106
>. Most I can recommend is find some local meet ups or hobby group
You still at it with meetup.com I checked it out and stuff is annoyingly paywalled, then all my local events are run by trannies and senior citizens

>>34982796
>Im thinking of taking some art classes despite being absolutely ass at drawing/painting
Take a figure drawing class because it's probably the only time you'll ever see a naked chick in your life

>>34983244
>it's probably the only time you'll ever see a naked chick in your life
How mean, I've had sex before when I was younger. I just have trouble meeting people. I feel like I will meet somebody soon, I am in the best physical/mental shape I've ever been in.

>>34983240
It's better if you live in city areas unfortunate. Of course you could also make your own groups and see what happens.

>>34983294
Don't fall for the trolls anon. An art class would be a good idea. Remember you don't have to be good at art, that's the point of the class. Most importantly what women (and most people) look for in a relationship is someone who isn't stagnate. Even if you barely get better or never become the next Disney showing that you have any sort of drive to follow your passions, dreams, or just to go out and do something new sends the signal that you aren't a loser shut in.

>>34980474
>On average most people start off as friends before they develop romantic feelings
When in history is this true? A study with questionable numbers?

>only view women as objects
I am a woman.

Woman aren't magical creatures where you friendzone them for long enough and they'll fall for you when they've had no previous inclination or interest. We want to love and be loved back, which I assume is pretty close to what a man wants. Most people don't work together as lovers. People here know that- that's why choosing and being chosen by each other is important.

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>>34983742
>When in history is this true? A study with questionable numbers?
All through history. You can literally read the paper on what they did they. It's actual science. If you don't want to believe it then ok I guess lol.

>Most people don't work together as lovers. People here know that- that's why choosing and being chosen by each other is important.

You got shit to back that up other than "because I said so"?

OP says no femcels and pinkpillers. You believe in science and hard data right? You gotta prove you're correct with actual evidence or are you one of those women who think leos don't just kill their cubs?

>>34983037
You are not reading my posts. I've told you again and again that you CAN be friends for months and THEN try to have sex and have a romating relationship. My point is that this is a RETARDED way to go about it.
If the goal is HAVING SEX and HAVING A RELATIONSHIP, why the fuck would you try to be friends first? It's a total waste of time.

Talk to the woman and build rapport while MAKING YOUR ROMANTIC INTENTIONS CLEAR. WHY WOULDN'T YOU DO THAT?

>>34983825
Please point that out in your original post then lol.

>>34983825
>why the fuck would you try to be friends first?

Friend is literally part of the word "girlfriend".

>>34983825
>My point is that this is a RETARDED way to go about it.
You haven't produced any advice on what to do or what makes it retarded. Also your older posts completely contradic what you are claiming now.

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>>34983742
>I am a woman
Tits or gtfo

>>34974416
No, you suck. There is no one to meet, that's his point.

>>34984076
Literally a skill issue because just about everyone else in the world can find someone.

>>34984166
I can’t either

>>34984370
You can though.

>>34984421
My status as a 27 year old khv would beg to differ

>>34985154
Listen to me motherfucker. Stop listening to bullshit prison rape jokes your friends make and fucking middle school bullshit and even the yaoi or gay porn fantasies women loudly whisper to each other. Just because you are stuck with the same gender does not mean you're gonna be buttfucked and turned into a bitch. It means you're in it together towards a common goal and that is living your best in life. What you're focused on is all these negatives people tell you, because you think it defines you but it doesn't. If anything in prison if you keep to yourself you wouldn't even get the buttraping. The drop the soap thing is most of all treated as a damn joke anon. You know what you are deep down inside, so don't let other people tell you otherwise. If anything you should expect having to drink a ton of beers together to watch a sports game with a group of guys not this fucked up shit some weird ass middle schooler said in your past because he's probably a homophobe in the closet.

>>34985172
What

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I know an actual chad that bangs tons of women.
Ask me anything.

>>34985211
how tall is he?

>>34974000
try walking groups or volunteer/charity groups
the other day I saw a "walk for the cure" for some charity and it was like 100's of attractive fit women in the crowd, probably 2x more women than men
women love "helping other people" shit

>>34985214
He says 5'11, but I think he's actually 5'10 or 5'10.5

>>34985201
You're letting people bully you out of your happiness.

>>34985380
Meds now

>>34983081
doesn't matter who they message
who they actually go on a date with and have sex with is what matters

what you proved is that women and men use the app differently
a woman may indeed only find 20% of guys attractive but she enjoys the social benefits of talking to multiple men

that's not really such a whitepill if you truly think about it

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>>34985570
holy fucking cope.

>doesn't matter who they message
>who they actually go on a date with and have sex with is what matters
The video literally proves that looks are not as important as you think. Women will literally still message men they find below average in looks to try and go out with them.

>what you proved is that women and men use the app differently
Please explain where it says this and how men and women use the app differently, because it sure seems like you are goal post moving over the fact that the narrative that physical attractiveness is everything has been proven wrong.
>a woman may indeed only find 20% of guys attractive but she enjoys the social benefits of talking to multiple men
That is literally part of the dating game. Men are literally supposed to do this as well so how is it an issue? These are single women who are not currently committed to anyone, you are not owed loyalty and commitment just because you matched on tinder.

In fact, talking to other people to make them jealous is part of the game and how jealous they react to you talking to others is a good way to both judge how attractive you are, how committed they are to you and will help progress the relationship further to being in a relationship with you.

>Why You Should NEVER Confess Your Love - Destabilizing factors.
https://youtu.be/xHkcIRZa6lo?t=1251

Literally fucking skill issue.

>>34984076
>>34984370
>>34985154
>>34985201
>>34985555

>Why The Dating Crisis Is Just Natural Selection
https://youtu.be/mefGxK10bWQ?si=O5sJTe9KsLt4pgws

literally stop bitching and get fucking good lol. Either accept your fate of being forever alone or start trying to learn how to play the game in your area.
The OP literally says
>Context is important: be more specific than "I got ghosted, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, someone was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with them? How long have you known them? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question.
So feel free to rant and rave about your life, because saying "I just can't there is nothing" is 110% false and just makes you look like a massive fagot, which women don't want to date a fagot so probably the reason why you can't get women is because of that.

>>34985698
you may have a serious lack of critical thinking skills
getting a message from a girl isn't a green light
it could literally mean nothing
and it does to 80% of men
so a study that shows that average men can receive likes (on ok cupid in 2009 LOL)
does not show who gets messages and dates today

so the key question is who is it that girls message and are willingly going on dates with/ dating

that statistic is not there

>>34985708
The okcupid data has been used countless time throughout the years and in the htgw threads. The entire point is to show how hypocritical the information is, that while women rate most men as ugly they are still willing to give them a chance to prove themselves or because other factors other than looks end up being more important, such as if the guy is actually not an asshole.

>getting a message from a girl isn't a green light
>it could literally mean nothing
>and it does to 80% of men

Those are some bold statements there. You got some actual evidence to back that up that those 80% of men feel nothing? Because you have even less statistics on all of your claims.

Funny enough this also makes me want to dive in to the rest of the studies put out by okcupid, because that 2009 data they put out is also where the claim "1% of men get 99% of the women" comes from. So the idea of being a man with "high sexual market value" could also be completely wrong.

>>34985724
read through the real data women swipe right on 12% of profiles meaning it's worse than the ok cupid thing suggests
https://www.swipestats.io/blog/tinder-study-80-20

and a male's average match rate is 2% meaning that most are not even getting a message in the first place (since the average is driven up by high performers "the top 20%"

Ok cupid is interesting because back in those times, the pool was limited and the incentives were different

>>34985740
to add
>What OkCupid actually showed is stronger in two separate ways. First, women rated roughly 80% of male profiles below the midpoint in attractiveness. Second, attractiveness strongly affected outcomes: the highest-rated men received about 11× as many messages as the lowest-rated men, while medium-rated men received about 4× as many. OkCupid also directly analyzed reply rates and found that more attractive senders generally got more replies

>>34985887
Cross posting because I have no idea which general to post in.

>>34985889
she said she wants to focus on something else i.e not dating you. pull back and assume she won't initiate, she will if she's still into you.

>>34985740
>>34985742

That's very true but one think both you and the original op have some good points. I am a bit more biased on the op because that info from okcupid is still something that regularly pops up in redpill dating bullshit so I think it is good to be posted to show that it is wrong. I will argue though that >>34985740 while true only tells us that physically attractive men get more matches and messages it does not say what the likely hood of them are at getting sex/relationships, and if they are getting it how long they last and how stable they are.

Halo effect is very real and online dating amplifies that. But ultimately looks can only hide who you are as a person. The top men on apps does not necessarily mean they are getting in to long term relationships or happy long lasting marriages, it just means more women are making them offers and those men have more options. Once a woman learns that the handsome chad is actually an asshole or that they aren't chosen they will lose interest and find someone else.

Whether she learns the lesson that looks don't matter or how to cope with settling for less is ultimately up to them, but regardless what is going to end up happening is she is going to learn something and you can be that solution so long as you don't sulk in your room all day and keep taking redpills on how to be a chad or not.

One thing to remember too is that on average people form relationships within their economic and physical attractive range, so poor ugly people are usually going to get with other poor ugly people and rich handsome ones with others rich and handsome like them. Even if you mix and match with poor handsome and rich ugly or anything in between men and women rarely hook up outside of their ranges.

so if you are really bothered by not being seeing as physically attractive then either start look maxxing or accept that your partner might be ugly like you are.

>>34985889
I think you wishing her both a good farewell, but offering her the invitation to come back once she has things figured out is a good thing to do. Obviously there is no real way to tell if she will take that offer but it is not out of the realm of possibility. It still shows that you respect her autonomy and have no animosity towards her, and that if she does ever need help that there is a possibility of you being there for her. Remember too that you making that offer does not mean you need to keep it, you did not make any promises, just assuring her that as of now you can and telling her that you do not hold anything against her. If it does end up happening and you can't you can still politely tell her no and be on with your life.

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I went on my first date ever off a dating app without getting ghosted last night and just got ghosted right after.

She seemed like she was into it. I was trying to give her a lot of space so she would feel safe (she had just moved here). I wonder if I just made myself seem uninterseted?

>>34986941
Lacking in context or sample size
Grats on getting a date. You're doing something right

>>34981819
I want to go back to university, but my current situation somewhat prevents me from being a full time student. You're right though, I fucked my life up.

>>34980474
>>34984021
>Sure, if you're an immature, self absorbed child who only view women as objects and think getting poon makes you a "high value" man.
Simp harder

>>34986338
How exactly do I word it to make it clear that's what I'm doing, is what I said about drinks good?

>>34983859
>>34983982
>>34984020
Retarded poster. You gonna make everything a technicality or word game? It's literally the opposite of talking about romantic feelings.

>>34986990
What you said about drinks is good. That's all you really need to say.

>Sorry to see you go, but I hope it all works out for you. Maybe when you are settled in we can celebrate your new home and job.

>>34987115
I was thinking more
>I hope you'll find a good place to stay
>Maybe we'll grab some drinks to celebrate once you do.
Keep it more casual.

I hope I didn't make her hate me or something. The night we met and the first date were so great it's just a shame she's so busy and she wasn't feeling great the last time we met. She did say she trusted me after we met (referring to something I recommended her) so maybe that's a good sign.

>>34987319
Yeah that's also good, probably a bit beyter desu lol.

>I hope I didn't make her hate me or something.

If you don't know then don't know. There is no need to suspect that she hates you and no reason to hate her. Just live in the moment that you are fine.

I have a female friend that I asked out who did not shut the door on us dating in the future, and my emotions are secretly putting me through hell. At first I wrote it off as her being nice, but later she was adamant that she really meant it. This is a problem since she is an incredible catch. And when it comes to not looking for a relationship, she's not off dating Chad or whatever, she's got a lot of stuff going on and she's been through a lot.
She didn't tell me to wait for her, as a a matter of fact we discussed a date someone else set me up with and she said it was fine, but that was also when she reiterated that she really meant we might date in the future, so she might have actually disapproved. I got in my feelings and cancelled the date but didn't tell her since A. It would be weird since we're not actually in a relationship, and B. admitting to being that attached would hurt if not kill the friendship. However if she did want me to wait, I would want her to know that I actually did, I don't want her to think I'm playing the field when she's special to me. This is probably the biggest dilemma to me, however for all I know it was a nothingburger to her.

>>34987638
I also have no idea where she's really at with me since she's really sweet in private but poker face around mutual friends, which we're normally around. A lot of the ambiguous attraction signs ARE there, for whatever that's worth. She never brings up relationship talk, she essentially hit pause until she's ready or I bring something up, which I get since the answer is "no" in the short term, but it's still not a good sign. When I originally asked her out it was for clear communication, obviously that's gone now. If I could even get a "no" in a way that would preserve the friendship I'd be ok with that, but I feel like if I'm the one to bring it up again it's clear I lost the battle with my emotions, and as confused as I am I know better than to self-sabotage.
>what do you see in such a confusing person?
We get along great actually, I'm the one who caught feelings, and if I hadn't originally written off what she said maybe we would be following a more linear plan for an escalating friendship, I don't know.
>dude get the fuck out you're going to get burned
I feel that way sometimes but there's a solid friendship there and we were communicating well before I got too attached to admit it.

>>34987638
>>34987641
If you asked her out and she said no then the simple fact is you two aren't going out. It may sound harsh but while her saying "maybe in the future" is a good sign, but you need to be playing the field. It's an unfortunate part of the dating game that even if you like someone a lot and they do to, when you make your move and they don't lock you down then you don't owe them anything.

Not seeing other women is going to hurt you in the long run because the more you don't do anything the more any other prospects, and even your current one may leave you hanging.

If you need more reasons there are videos on how jealousy can help a bit in attracting a partner so going out with other women may either make her realize her own mistakes and try to lock you down further or your new interest may do the same. Key thing here is to just not being an asshole about it and to try and treat both you and her with respect while setting the boundary and holding her accountable that she decided to wait while you left.

And if under the case that you date someone else, and she becomes jealous and you do still feel like dating her over your new interest that you also treat them with respect and dignity.

>>34987638
>>34987641
The only proper advice here is to date other women. A relationship and love is something you build anyway. By dating other women you open yourself to the possibility of finding someone you like even more than her and build love with that person instead.

The story you tell here is embellished and you want it to seem unique, but the truth is that you suffer from oneitis.
You likely lack options and have low self-esteem. Work on fixing this first.

>>34988370
All true, I'm aware of the cold facts about not actually being in a relationship, and as a matter of fact I overcorrected for a while. She has essentially said the same thing as your first paragraph.
>then what's the fucking issue?
Moralfagging aside, IMO she's also more likely to just think I'm not interested any more if I talk about dating someone else again. The locking down thing essentially already happened, "maybe in the future" is a very weak locking down but it worked to be fair.
>>34989159
It's not embellished. I don't know which part you would think is false.
I don't think I'm unique but there are more variables here than "guy gets hung up on female friend".
I am not aware of any options I have who are as good as her, which puts me at a disadvantage, true. I am working on the self-esteem.

>>34990445
My point is you're just a classic case of oneitis. There's nothing really special about this girl because in truth there's nothing special about anybody. A person should only be special to you after you establish intimacy and share a life together, until then, she's just potential, and potential exists on many other women.

Again, she's not special just because she gave you the attention you desperately wanted. You think that way because you have low self-esteem and erronously believe no other woman will ever give you attention like this woman did, but that's not true at all.
Find another woman that will give you not only attention, but intimacy, loyalty and true friendship.

>>34990639
>There's nothing really special about this girl because in truth there's nothing special about anybody.
Ow, I cut my finger on that.

I have a girl who likes me
takes pictures of me when we go on a date
texts me multiple timies a day
sends me stories about her day
asks me questions regularly

but it feels weird
like i don't deserve it or something
or that it will all disappear even if i try or not try
it feels so fickle

why is this

>>34991889
Cause it can. Had this scenario happen and then she said we were moving too fast. Unfortunately I sperg out a bit saying how she was giving signs and it is what it is. I am now blocked after 2 hour + long phone calls and regularly talking like a couple for 2 weeks.

Just enjoy it. Don't take it too seriously. And don't sperg out.

>>34991889
That's definitely a deeper personal issue you need to look deep at.

Most I can give you is to remember that you did earn and and you do deserve love. She's not with you out of luck, she likes you because she sees you for who you are, your hard work, your kindness, even your flaws she loves.

All men and women are deserving of love. You need to accept that love from her and yourself.

>>34992234
>unfortunately I sperg out a bit saying how she was giving signs and it is what it is
So there's more to this story... please do tell us.

>Go out with girl on a whim (both met on a dating site)
>We have pretty similar interests, end up chatting for about two hours
>goes so well that she even gives me her number in the dating app afterwards
>end up planning for a dinner date a few days later
>day of the dinner date, she surprise cancels
>day after, says an older family member had died
>two days later she says she's not ready for a relationship after that
So am I at fault or was that real?

>>34992886
Probably not your fault

>>34991889
Do something sweet for her on your next date.
>it will all disappear even if i try or not try
it feels so fickle
That's life

>>34992886
Probably real, something similar happened to me and I did find out later she had been understating it if anything.
Or she got cold feet and flaked. One of my friends did that to a good match and I think it was dumb of her but maybe the guy lucked out lmao.
I don't see how it could be your fault if literally nothing happened between the planning and the cancellation. It's natural to be skeptical but look at it this way, it's so easy to ghost someone, why would she go to the trouble she did?

>>34981297
I don't know how to be social and confident. I feel like a skinwalker whenever I try. It's not natural and it has never been natural to me.

>>34993277
That's because confidence is about not caring and not trying. Just be open, if people don't like when you're open then either you're a dick or they are.
I got better at socializing when I reached unc status. I'll never be cool, so I don't care and just say what I want to say, which makes me cool.

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>>34987433
From how late my post is you can guess how long I was left on delivered.
I went through all stages of grief within a week. Towards the end I just wanted a "Seen" so I would know for sure it was over.
But this morning she sent:
>Really!!
>Once I find a place, let's go out for drinks!
So are we... dare I say... so fucking back?
Now I just have to figure out a way to keep her interested over text for the next couple of weeks.

>>34993319
This is the most relatable post I've read in a while. Proud of you anon.
Don't go crazy with the waiting game. Once the message is sent, have something to else to occupy yourself with. No it's not easy.

>>34993293
I don't know what to say and if I do then I don't know if my words will offend. I'm also naturally timid. I don't know how to get over the fear of being judged or messing up around women.

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>>34993319
My fucking man.

When one breaks it off with a woman on not so good terms and she still laughs at their jokes, acting buddy buddy in public, is this a sign of detachment or is something else going on?

>>34979143
>Just talk to women, at the grocery store, at the post office, at the gym.
What does that look like? "Hey, nice to meet you. You're cute, let's go out?" I feel like you need to start a conversation first, but people don't ever seem to want to talk to me.

>>34995747
>I feel like you need to start a conversation first

Correct. YOU need to start the conversation first. Don't ask her out on the spot like a retard. All that chad stuff is bullshit. It takes time to build trust and connection with someone. Just talk to her and see what she's like. Talk to her like a human.

>>34997983
>Don't ask her out on the spot like a retard.
Yeah, I figured. What are some good ways to start a conversation with a stranger, though? I've been trying, but usually after "crazy weather, huh", the conversation ends.

Im a 34 year old khhv, I didnt pass my health exam until later in life. Now before starting college or a job where should I go to meet women and friends.

Im interested in the 19-24 age group.

>>34998250
This guy made you a thread already
>>34996598

>>34998250
Lolol
Everyone gaslights.
Don't deal with 26+ yr old women. Don't deal with women in general

>>34998049
Unfortunately there isn't much I can suggest. You just have to keep throwing out small talk and if it sticks try to sprinkle in something deeper and see where it goes. My last crush I saw a Mr. Frog and Mr. Toad shirt and made small tall about that which lead to a deeper conversation of children's books.

>>34998423
Bump

It is highly important when you date to not have this image of what a romantic scene in your head come into fruition with reality. You are a human being and as such have human interactions. You can wish all you want about what you can't have, but the moment you sit down and say, "hey I am a human being and all these failures and mistakes I make humanizes me." you will get better at life and dating in general. However don't do stupid shit like give up when life is rough on you and start making excuses.

>>35000731
Disney movies ruined a generation

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is it ethical for a 30+ man to have sex with ~18 year old women if he's clear from the start that it's all just about the sex and they are still interested?

Is this thread for gay men too?

Why the split from the other one?
Anyways first date went well, just gotta figure a couple of things:
I am more at a loss for things to chat about now that we've exhausted more topics in the first date.
I don't know where to take her next also she doesn't drink so that's like 80% of date ideas gonna unless she's fine with strolling or coffee
We don't have hobbies in common or interests besides reading (but we read different things) and maybe movies (but I really don't get movie dates, what's the point unless you're smooching in the dark like a teenager? Early for that methinks) I've been told it's not a problem but it sure feels like a problem.

>>35001816
>Is it ethical for a consenting adult to have sex with a consenting woman
Yes

>>35002120
If you both enjoy each other's company then you're doing good. Strolling and coffee are a good idea. Go to a large park and talk more. Maybe dive in to why you like to read, or why you read what you read. See if you can get her to deep dive in to her favorite books.

>Why the split from the other one?
There have been a few complaints about how all the resources and posts where too redpilled and how they still have chud links and influencers. This is the attempt to update it so it's more open to everyone and have actual proven facts and science and incel talking points.

>>35002120
You might feel like it's hardmode but it sounds comfy to me. This is where the real relationship building happens.
>I am more at a loss for things to chat about now that we've exhausted more topics in the first date.
This I don't really get since there's no way you've exhausted most topics. I'm an introvert, and if there's any mutual attraction we usually end up talking until time runs out.
However, think about what a longer-term couple would talk about. At a minimum, just catching up on what happened since they last saw each other, but also not needing to fill the silence if they're enjoying being around each other.
>I don't know where to take her next also she doesn't drink
Alcohol is the crutch of crutches, all this means is you have to use your brain. Anon is right that if you're together and happy anything works, but there's all kinds of things. Think about places you'd feel awkward without a +1. Museums, resturants, events, movies, just keep an eye out.
>We don't have hobbies in common or interests besides reading (but we read different things)
Ideal. You can be supportive of each others' hobbies without getting underfoot, and you can talk about what each other read or even make recommendations instead of "hey, remember this book" "yeah, that was good". Book recommendations are hard because you have to choose based on what you think she will like, instead of what you wish she liked or wish she had read, but recommending a book she ends up liking is a green flag (and let her do the same to you).
>I really don't get movie dates, what's the point
It's good for later dates for the same reason it's recommended against for a first date: It's an activity that's better with a +1 but you don't get to talk much.

>>35000731
>"hey I am a human being and all these failures and mistakes I make humanizes me."
But that is the romantic scene.

>>35003662
>>35003498
Thanks anons.
We already got to talking, we have some horribly conflicting work hours but she seems eager to see me. Next date is like a couple days before her birthday next week and she already made plans so I guess I'm not invited, which make sense I guess, we've only seen each other once not gonna meet her family already.
I'm gonna bake her something as a gift, in the meantime I'll have to figure out something to talk about via text. I guess I can just pretend she's one of my friends and talk about something that happened to me at work and stuff like that?

Do not date someone to fill a hole in you. Date someone you are truly attracted to.

>>35004368
Can I date someone to fill up their holes? Like with cum?

>>35001816
Yes. They're legally culpable adults at 18, no matter how much they want to pretend otherwise.

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It's over for me, isn't it?

>>35007154
quite picky for a guy who gets so few incoming likes

Here's a fun and potentially educational story. I promise, it's worth reading if you're on the journey of better understanding women like I am.

This weekend I made barbecue in my backyard. The woman I've been dating for a month was staying over and we invited two of her friends (a woman and a gay guy) for the barbecue. Obviously I was manning the grill.

We had the barbecue and drank a bunch of beers, we all had a good time, then her friends left. After they left I showed her a humorous post I've made on a niche subreddit that got a bunch of upvotes.

She laughed at the post, then said something like this, almost ad verbum:
>You showing me this thing you wrote made me feel very stupid. Like, my friends were here just now and we were talking about the most shallow things imaginable while you manned the grill and stayed mostly silent. Now you show me this post you made on this app that I didn't even know existed and it got a bunch of likes and other people commenting on it, and I felt like the dumbest person in the world. I felt like you were trying to humiliate me. I know you weren't trying to humiliate me but that was what I felt. Now I don't know what you expect from me... am I the person for you? I don't know...

Then I said:
>You're right, I wasn't trying to humiliate you at all, I was just showing you the thing I glanced at my phone before and you asked what made me smile, but your friends were here and I didn't want to show it to everybody so I waited for them to leave. Like I told you I like to write things for fun and this is just a thing I wrote when I was bored I guess.
>And yeah, maybe we are very different, but I'm not really expecting a woman to be exactly like me and I actually like that you're very different in a lot of ways.

>>35008003
We kept talking some more about our differences. She was wearing a white tank-top and no bra. She has small, shapely tits, they're nice.
Then, while she was talking, I just looked at her tits, noticed her nipples poking and said:
>Your nipples are hard
Her:
>Oh yeah?
Then I took her top off, took my hard cock out and she started sucking it.

What followed was, by far, the wildest sex I've ever had in my life.

I just kept fucking her on the back balcony for almost 2 hours non-stop, doing every position, talking the dirtiest shit. She told me that her pussy is my property and that I can use it whenever I like. I told her shit like "yeah you love getting fucked by this nerd cock don't you".
Her pussy was insanely wet and she kept moaning like an animal. I felt like she was my sex slave and that she completely gave up her bodily autonomy just so I could pleasure myself with it, and I told her all this: that I was just using her pussy to pleasure myself... and that made her completely lose her shit. I've never seen a woman so horny in my life. It was like she lost her humanity.

>>35008005
Then we took a bath, finished a movie we had left on hold and slept. Next morning I woke up hard and went over to her.
She said:
>I'm not wet but you can use me
I used some lube and started fucking, then she started getting wet and rubbing her clit and came before I did. We had 15 minutes because she had to leave for work.

Anyways, this reads like erotic fiction but I think it's relevant to the theme of "how to get women". Here's an anecdote to show how women are. Obviously we had already fucked a few times before since we've been dating for a month, but this time was different and a barrier was broken.

I think it was a mix of me doing well on the grill, her friends being impressed, then she being impressed by my "intelligence" and fearing that she would lose me because she wasn't "smart" enough for me and me rationally discussing this with her. This triggered her femininity and sexual desire deeply.

Note that none of this was premeditated by me. I was, quite literally, just being myself.

Note for the blackpillers:
>I'm 5'10, chubby, balding, 4.5 inch cock, not particularly handsome

>>35001816
Of course.

>>35008007
>5'10
soooo it's over for me

>>35008007
just be tall pill

>>35009785
>>35010380
That's king of manlets tier, not tall at all...

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I genuinely do not understand these people who claim they've been rejected 100+ times by women and still haven't gotten a date

I'm almost 30 and there's maybe that number of girls I've been very attracted to my whole life
and 5 or 6 of those I have had a real crush on
Is that normal or am I just especially picky

>>35010565
>people who claim they've been rejected 100+ times by women
Those are incels lying about approaching women and always getting rejected.

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>match with girl
>go on two dates
>during second date she tells me her parents are visiting so she won't be able to meet me again until October
>still nessages me during that time but infrequently which is expected
>send her a message a week ago asking her if she's free now
>she's seen it two days ago and hasn't replied
What can I do now, do I double text? What can I even say? I don't even know what I did wrong, other than being me

>>34992886
I once kissed a girl on a first date and she was acting great at the end of it.
Then 2 days later she calls me and says she's not ready for a relationship.
I didn't understand it and it still bothers me 20 years later.

>>35011805
Oh and this is a girl that one of her friends told me she had a crush on me for a year before I asked her out.
So I have no idea what she was thinking.

>>35011810
Maybe the real thing isn't like what she imagined.
It would have happened after she left the date. Getting someone and being in a relationship with them are two different things.
Her friend may be exaggerating. Also a possibility

>>35010455
try being 5'4 and come back
that's quite a margin taller than the average girl
which is all that matters

>>35011873
I'm 5'8 and overtime I realized it doesn't really matter, it only matters to the whores you don't want in your life.
It doesn't matter if you're 6'5 if you behave like a 4'5 child.

>>35011805
It could've been the kiss freaking her out and she noped out. Many such cases. She was probably cute and inexperienced and yet decent enough to call you back. God I know the type.

>>34991889
You are mature and hopefully you realize that romantic "love" is a chemical reaction in the brain not at all tangible or real in any true sense. The reason men here fail with finding girlfriends or whatever is because they continuously disregard female nature and choose to idealize them. As though there is this perfect virgin woman out there who will never cause a fuss and they'll live happily ever after like a god damned anime. Your relationship is finite. Make the best of it. Produce great memories knowing full well that its over from the start.

>>35011874
>I'm 5'8
Indistinguishable from the American national average, hell you can look tall with only slightly padded boots
When you're 5'4" or 5'5" you get called short in public by random strangers

>>35011988
100%
everytime i see a girl that's cute in public with a boyfriend, the guy is always taller than average
although his looks / style may be average at best
it's been my observation that height is the prerequisite for any sort of relationship with an attractive girl

and trust me i go out looking for short guys with cute girlfriends
it ust doesn't ever happen

>>35010565
>I don't understand people who claim they've been rejected 100+ times
>I've only asked out 5 girls so I've only been rejected 5 times
You are a retard.
>>35012000
I'm 6'3", the average person in general is shorter than me, including all the people with cute girlfriends.
If you fags were as tall as you wished you were you would be suicidal because you don't know how to deal with the fact that your height is not to only thing holding you back.

>>35012025
>I'm 6'3", the average person in general is shorter than me
>including all the people with cute girlfriends.
correct they're shorter than you

these two statements don't refute the general premise that
1) you must be above average height to have a relationship with a cute girl
- 5'9 person will be shorter than you, and above average height

2) height is not the only thing holding you back
it may not be, but it could be in theory
if there's a threshold needed to be crossed, then height could very well be that threshold

it's the difference between 25% chance of success at getting a cute girlfriend and 0.001% chance

sure it may be possible, but just involves tons of compensating in other areas more than any average person would have the mental fortitude to achieve

anyway, i indeed am 5'4, and i get laid every often, but it takes extreme amounts of effort
and it's never with any objectively cute girl

2 years ago i made a dating profile and had some chats with people that fizzled out. i saw a girl who lived like 2+ hours away but she seemed cute and we had some common interests. so we chatted a while and then we met up. like spend the day together and then we spent a long weekend together. being around her was great. but then due to work schedules not lining up and excuses, there would be gaps between us meeting up and our communication would dry up sporadically

a month ago we arranged to go on a long vacation together but there was something off with it immediately like we didn't seem as affectionate as we did. it was jarringly awkward and then i couldn't get her to say what was on her mind. she said everything is fine so i didn't badger her any more. it felt like we were 2 people just on a trip together, not like a couple doing something. i mean not to say it was bad overall just not great. we left it at kissing each other goodbye and saying we'll chat later

except she ghosts me. then she sends me a wall of text yday like "something was off but didn't feel comfortable saying, i can't see this being my life, i think we are on different pages, i want things you suggest you don't"

now i'm no expert but that means it's dead right? the sad thing is i don't even know what things she is alluding to, maybe moving too slowly? and now im wondering why she agreed to come on the trip if all these doubts were there.

also i'm doubting myself, did i string this along because i liked the human contact? not specifically her. and then considering the distance, how off/on we were, it was probably never gonna work out and i should box it away? other problem is my social circle is basically empty (so was her's), maybe we were just a convenient void filler. a crutch. not an actual relationship.

but then i circle back around to her i still like her and i dunno what to say... sorry for the mopey post

>>35012147
If my post didn't refute the premise that you need to be above average height to have a relationship yours did.
>anyway, i indeed am 5'4, and i get laid every often, but it takes extreme amounts of effort
Meanwhile I'm 6'3" putting in extreme amounts of effort and getting literally nothing.

>>35012468
I never said relationship I said relationship with a cute girl
I can get fattier and uglies and oldies to sleep with but I have never had a lasting thing with any cute girl
And it’s obviously not from lack of trying
And I can attract some women
In your case you may very well be not trying (no good photos , fat, never cold approaching)

>>35012741
It sucks the amount of pain I have to go through only for some manlet to say I'm not trying just to preserve his ego.
I've been rejected by girls even you wouldn't fuck.

>>35012794
that sucks bro
don't know your situation
but i've been grinding nonstop since i was 18
banging my head against the wall doing everything
i am now in my 30s
so i've learned a lot to get to where i am now

one thing that always made no sense to me is what you're saying
there's some ugly girls that will reject you and you're left wondering how in the fuck did I get rejected by that

all my lays seem to have something in common:
they're two tiers below me in looks (never more)
like if they're too below me or too fat they reject me
if they are around my height or slightly shorter the chance of rejection goes up quite a bit
but if they're much shorter than me and not too much uglier than me than it's the sweet spot

and this is just the pattern i've found from decade of non stop grinding

>>35012804
I've never not been rejected so I wouldn't know. Even girls that seem interested in me initially change their minds very quickly. although I'm probably just misinterpreting their signals.
I guess my sweet spot is nonexistent.
I've also found that what the Internet likes to blame for why people are single like height doesn't matter, and when you point it out they will make wild assumptions that you're fat and don't shower, which just makes me think I might as well be fat and not shower because why I am working out and showering every day to be on the same level as someone who isn't.

>>35010565
It's players and whore mongers who have zero standards or awareness. They just go up to any woman and ask if they want to fuck and that's it.

>>35012382
Do you feel like what she said means she wants you to try harder or that it's over?

This is what so many people in these threads get wrong. Whatever evidence is presented to you is the truth till proven otherwise.

Read her message again and really ask yourself if that is a message that says she wants you or not.

>>35012741
>And it’s obviously not from lack of trying

It clearly is since you aren't trying hard enough to not be retarded.

>>35012825
the one thing that changed my game from getting rejected was when i got good photos taken of me and started approaching in the street
again it is of my belief that if you do the following there's no reason you wouldnt be getting laid
1) good photos of yourself (from the female gaze perspective)
2) low body fat (12-15%)
3) cold approaches regularly (at least 2 times a week, with friends and by self)

that's what i do and i get laid
it is a lot of effort
good photos get me dates regularly from dating apps - which is why ugly girls mostly
cold approaches gets me out of the house and into venues and has gotten me good results in confidence and ability

>>35012862
so in summary as a 5'4 manlet average looks
i hide my dating app height (still able to tell im short from pictures)
i go on 2-3 dates a week
i cold approach 4-5 hours a week
i go out with friends at least once a week

I am able to get laid once every month basically

I am one hundred percent convinced it is not from lack of trying, but simply if I didn't try this hard I would get 0 lays ever.
If all I did was go to work, go out with friends sometimes, never take pictures
I would have 0 chance of getting laid.

It is because I put in insane amounts of effort that I can get some girls to like me
Because I'm short I have to meet 10 or so girls before one even gives me a kiss.

If you're average height and do what I do, you'd probably get laid every single week

>>35012870
Yeah that works for picking up dumb whores, but what about getting a long term girlfriend?

>>35012874
new profiles on dating apps tend to have a chance of being nice girls who are not whores
also cold approaching you literally pick the venue so if you don't find a nice girl it's your problem not the method's problem

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>>34985706
>muh natural selection
>muh nature
If you want to return to Nature, you have to accept all of it.
That includes me beating your ass, raping your wife, and killing your kids, because that's what happens in Nature.
Be careful for what you wish for.

>>35011725
>What can I do now, do I double text?
You move on and date another woman.

>>35011988
5'4" is way below average and it does make you stand out in a very negative way. True. It makes your dating life much, much worse.

I completely empathize and understand your dating struggles if you're that short.

With that said, you have no choice but to accept the universe has dealt you a shit hand and stop being so negative about it, because being insecure about it only makes the situation worse. No one is perfect.

>>35012905
>because being insecure about it only makes the situation worse.

This. I know literal dwarfs who get laid constantly or are in fulfilling relationships. They aren't seething for their deformity. At the absolute core womem and men want someone who is emotionally stable and will bring happyness and fulfillment to their lives. If you can't do that then no one is going to want you. This is also why narcissists and chads get laid because they can give the illusion of being emotionally stable and know how to make others more unstable than them to keep the facade up. If you want a woman to even talk to you you have to either get over your insecurities and trauma or get good at masking it.

Protip: masking it is a lot harder.

Where do you guys go to find attractive women? I only go out to the gym and over the past year I've only seen around 5ish girls in my age range who weren't overweight or absolutely ruined by tattoos/piercings/etc.

>>35013044
Anywhere in the world.

>Muh tattoos!
>But they're fat!
>Percings bad!

Nigga literally get over it.

>>35012855
>Read her message again and really ask yourself if that is a message that says she wants you or not.
yea so i've been mulling this over when i'm meant to be working. i guess it's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. she doesn't want me.
but then i catch myself slipping back into retard loops like wondering why did she say all this shit in person and say she wants to continue this. then to express the polar opposite shortly after. only explanation i have for that is she was just avoiding a rough conversation. i don't believe how someone truly feels can change so quickly

>>35013110
>Anywhere in the world.

OK, name a place?

>Nigga literally get over it.
I'm not black.

>>35013237
You sure act like one.

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>>35012880
>That includes me beating your ass, raping your wife, and killing your kids, because that's what happens in Nature.

How do you hell do you convince yourself to grind out cold approach reps? I used to be more willing to do it when I was more autistic, now it feels like I'm excruciatingly aware of just how fucking weird it is to do that. We don't strike up conversations with random strangers in a grocery store for example.

>>35012905
Not him, but my own therapist was telling me trauma can only be managed, it can't be fully resolved.

>>34985706
That's not what the video says, his point is that as a civilization, we don't really allow natural selection to occur in all sorts of contexts.

>>34985698
> >Why You Should NEVER Confess Your Love - Destabilizing factors.

I suppose I will watch the video, but in my experience women have a 6th sense for detecting if you're attracted to them, I'm not sure how doable it is to establish a friendship while trying (and failing) to hide your attraction.

>>35013388
What? Shoot and kill him? We're still in civilization, no point in doing so

>>35013044
If you're American then you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that most women you'll see are fat and ugly because most Americans are fat and ugly.

t. American

>>35013435
this is the attitude that drives away women
that realism, logical thinking, is anti-woman
you have to be a combination of delusional, hopeful, and convinced women love you

it is that attitude that players have
how? be in a state of play before going out
most men work, and think and are in logical mode so going out to socialize with strangers makes no sense
i know it's easier said than done

>>35013916
Implying human civilization isn't another anthill in nature
All of you are bugs

It is very important to date someone who accepts you for being flawed as opposed to someone who is smart and wants a nice person to date them. Trust me people who straight up do not see flaws in others and everything is perfectly black and white in how they see people, is a terrible person to date. She has to see that the world has a lot of gray in it.

>>35014408
It's important to date someone you want to fuck. Focus on taking her to bed as soon as possible and dick her down hard. Then, if she's a despicable person, at least you got sex out of it.

>>34973462
Im so fucking annoyed i just tried to meet a bitch from tinder and got completely catfished by some moon faced fucking hag but while i was waiting for moonface the hottest biggest titty bitch was eyeing me but i didnt approach cuz i was waiting on a fucking date god damnit anons always seize the fucking moment ALWAYS

>>34973462
Don't

>>35013435
Cold approaching is a fucking meme. You aren't the Fonze anon. Going up to a random and trying to get in her pants is retarded.

>>35013435
Just do it and stop thinking about it
>>35014046
Chad
>>35014994
Zoomer faggot

>>35014984
Tf does moon face even mean?

>>35015024
Hi ESL. The moon is round like a circle. It means she has a circular bloated face.

>>35014136
>All of you are bugs
I'm a Hercules Beetle, nigga.

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>>35013979
Going to Spain fires up my sex drive because even a 6/10 over there is an 8/10 here

>>35015106
Who tf is ESL?

>>35015371
Go back to tiktok pajeet

>>35015522
fine

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>33
>Virgin
>Obese
>Balding
>Autistic
>Shy, awkward, and socially anxious
>Live with parents in small rural town
>Have degree in a field that rarely offers full-time work
>Can only talk to girls online and invariably get ghosted within a couple weeks because I must be boring or something
>Too inhibited to drive myself to the nearest city, let alone travel abroad

Please advise

>>35015676

lose weight work on social skills

>>35015728
Years ago I dropped down to a healthy weight but nothing in my life changed and I ended up gaining it all back plus extra

I think my autism puts a very low upper limit on my social skills, I've been working customer-facing jobs since 2013 and still can't make eye contact and think at the same time

>>34973462
How do you know if the girl at the gym keeps walking right past you and posting up near you because she wants your attention or if you’re just imagining it for some reason? Very important to be able to distinguish this so I don’t have to change times I go to the gym if I’m wrong

>did well at school
>no girls ever attracted to me
>made fun of by women as a loser beta
>went to university
>no girls ever attracted to me
>girls didn't acknowledge my existence
>got part time jobs in summers
>no girls ever attracted to me
>got a full time job
>no women ever attracted to me
>moved to a big city
>no women ever attracted to me
>made online dating profiles
>no matches
>just went outside
>no women ever attracted to me
>regularly gone to gym for over 10 years and have squatted over 4 plate
>no women ever attracted to me
>now in my 30s
>no women ever attracted to me
>go on multiple holidays abroad
>no women ever attracted to me

Ok. Now what?

I am treated like total subhuman disposable shit that people want to get away from as soon as possible by everyone of every gender in every context and am too ugly to ever have any social life or get a girlfriend, or even get a date, or be taken seriously at work.

>>35016395
All I see here is you never approached a girl and expected them to. Work on your sperg skills but at 30 good luck.

I have a FWBish but she wants to facetime all fucking day and then barely invites me over once a week if that. I don't want it to end but I'm thinking of ghosting her a bit to make her invite me more. Good idea or no?

>>35016395
Now nothing. You won't find any answers here. This general is full of normalfaggots and PUAniggers who see us incels like priests see children with cancer.

>>35016448
Do you want fwb to continue or a relationship?

Long shot but not sure what to do, joined a team sport mixed group, almost no women and the few ones are either taken or not my type, joined a social dance group - my types are taken, got a new job - mainly married women in my team or taken, I go to the gym but talking to women there seems weird.

Dating apps are meh as I get no likes so I'm either uggo or my photos suck or both anything else I can try? My only experience in almost 30 years is just making out with a girl I wanted to date (she was taken) who kind of used me for attention.

>>35016586
I want a relationship but she has no interest so I don't bring it up. I just want to visit her house more than once every 2 weeks. She really loves me as a friend and would be hurt if I stopped talking to her.

>>35013044
non-disney theme parks

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>very shy co-worker looks like a mix between Mackenzie Foy and Alison Thornton
>drops signs of physical attraction
>talk to her for the first time, she is all smiles and gets a little red
>next day while chatting in a small group, she gets giggly and fidgety and asks me about a kissing game she played in high school and asks how old I am
>tell her 35 and she instantly mutters "ten years older than me"
>never initiates since, treats me like a pleasant co-worker when I initiate
FUCK

>>34974000
many have said easy pussy stopping being a thing in 2020 and things got a lot harder. Its a reported happening

I have never got a date with a good white women off dating apps. They turned out fat or huge fags.

I get dates with chinese women a couple times a year. They are great people

>>34974106
meetups are for redditors, lardasses, elderly, and other very uncool demographics.

>>35016395
you literally wrote nothing that relates to attracting women
if you instead wrote:
>i lift 3 times a week
>i am lean
>i approach girls 3 times a week
>i have great pictures of me for dating apps
>yet my dates go bad

this is when people can actually help you
what you have written down is a list of outcomes coming from who knows what inputs you're putting in
so what are the inputs?
the examples I gave are bare minimum inputs needed to asses if someone has a chance or not

A man's lack of success in dating is usually because they are not one of the following:
>extremely handsome
this gets you attention and dating on easy mode
if you're here in this thread you're probably average to ugly
>body fat above 15%
if you are average to heavy in weight, your sexual attractiveness takes a HUGE hit. this is unequivocally quite important
>not fit enough
once you pack on muscle, your attractiveness to the opposite sex just skyrockets
but, it must be in combination with lower body fat
being big and fat does almost nothing
>autistic / really bad socially
this is usually a result from the above
because if you were fit, and lean, you'd get way more chances to socialize and making your social skills much better
so less important but still, only fixable if you fix your leanness and muscularity
>wear shorts
If you wear shorts you probably lack awareness of style and fit, which means it's just much harder for you to understand what female are looking for in a partner

>woman flakes last minute on date 2 years ago, we ghost each other
>see her on app a few months ago
>match again, flakes on first date but offers alternative
>go on several dates but shes always late or proposing different times or plans
>always have to initiate to get her to go on another date
>finally bang on date 3
>she starts to initiate convos in between dates now
>after date 5 i get sick, she keeps texting me, but i dont make any plans because im feeling bad and dont know when ill recover
>she never texts me again
>watches my social media stories every day since
It was such a grind to get her on dates I just said fuck it, shes gotta be the one to reach out if she wants me to talk to her, and she never did. But its weird shes never misses a post I make. Its been like 2 months now since we last talked, I guess shes just a flake but man, its weird they act like this. Im not particularly mad, just confused, like, why? I didnt get the feeling I was a top pick for her, but she also is always watching my stuff lol

>>35015676
>>Have degree in a field that rarely offers full-time work
Then don't limit yourself to that. Get a 2nd job, acquire skills or study something else

>>35016841
>meetups are for redditors, lardasses, elderly, and other very uncool demographics.

You need to be over 18 to post here.

>>35016395
>I have money and objects so women owe me sex.
>Why do women still treat me like garbage.

I guarantee more than enough women where attracted to you but you found them beneath you and kept chasing after shallow whores who only ever view you for your physical value.

>>35016624
Anon you're going to have to bite that bullet. If she doesn't want a relationship and you've already tried pushing for it only for her to push back then it's not gonna happen. Either accept the situation for what it is or move on.

>>35016951
Nothing you said is even remotely true lol. Stop listening to Andrew Tate bullshit.

>>35016624
I was just in that situation. I was over at her house 2 times a week, we went on dates and even planned a trip. If she doesnt want a relationship she doesnt want it. Its insane, but they mean it. You can ask once, if you havent already, very casually, something like this in person
>hey, what would you think if we became more serious
But honestly, I say just ghost her. If you keep seeing her, shes gonna fuck or date someone else at some point and break your heart because youre gonna wonder why she didnt pick you. Its been 7 months for me and im still fucked up because she fucked someone else. Or to be a bit toxic, fuck her one last time, pretend like everything is normal, then ghost her ass and let go. Either way, walk away. You dont want to be friends with her, youre settling for something you dont want because youre being a bitch and not taking action and asking for it directly. So again, ask once clearly, if you havent, then walk away and never speak to her again. Ironically, thats youre only chance of getting her to committ too, is by removing access to you and she ends up missing you, then you say youre only interested in a relationship and hold the line, if shes not down she can fuck off. But even then, do you want someone who has to lose you before deciding to choose you? It also doesnt mean she would be a good long term partner, and her current behavior shpws that. Shes using you, you should dislike her more because of how she is treating you. She wants to talk to you all the time, sleep with you occasionally, but not provide anything you want in return. You are being used. Get some self respect, grab your nuts, and ditch her for someone who treats you the way you want. Im giving you clarity, i went through this exact thing, save yourself months more pain and LEAVE. This bitch aint shit

what does it mean if the gym receptionist girl explicitly goes out of her way to say bye to you when youre leaving the gym? like she was speaking with her friends blocking her way and she stick her head out and said bye to me

>>35018172
Explicitly out of her way? Nigga thats her job

>>35018172
She's just saying bye?
A bit more involved but it's a bye, takes 3 seconds.

It is very, very, VERY slightly out of normal because it takes some effort and it's explicit, but that could be explained by a billion different reasons starting with just being a friendly person.


You'd need way more hints and signs to actually make this a proper hint as patterns and the amount of them is what makes things clear when a woman is interested, right now it means nothing.

Got out of a long term relationship at the beginning of the year, and I'm glad because it was super toxic, but I really miss being in that type of relationship.

Oddly enough, for the first time in my life I've had "good luck" with the apps, but shockingly, the apps don't result in relationship material. But I think having been with a handful of girls off there, I'm just totally done with them.

My last long term I met from a meetup group, and I really do prefer that dynamic of knowing someone first. But that said, I really just cannot for the life of me find any groups worth joining. All the meetup groups are either like 80 people being "friends" and just hanging out at bars. Or they're literally just full on autistic people who are incapable of actually holding a decent conversation unless it's about how neurodivergent and special they are.

How do you actually find groups to hang out with? I'm always looking for groups and clubs to join, but outside of a few apps and like reddit, I don't even know where you'd find one unless you're in school. My main sport has some nice people, but there's only 1 place in the entire city to participate so I want to avoid making it awkward at all costs too.

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She's ghosting my messages but still viewing my story.

>>35018172
It means she wants to fuck

>>35018114
>Nothing you said is even remotely true lol.
all proven by studies btw
you probably haven't ever gotten with a girl

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>>35011725
>>35012890
>Hey, I'm so sorry I haven't replied :crying face:
>I've been really busy because I started a new job and moved house recently.
>I've been working almost every day. When I get a day off, I'm usually so tired that I just want to rest.
>I'll message you when I have more time. I'm really sorry again :UUUOOOOOHH cute and funny face:
How do I even reply to this?

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https://youtu.be/vPu9NAjSxDI

Men have declared spiritual jihad on women and it shows as they slowly begin to lose it. This is it anons, the real gender war has begun, not the fake one with countless pronouns that is being shilled everywhere in the media, but the real war between man and woman.
Women are about to learn a harsh lesson.

Don't talk to women, don't help them, don't ask them out, don't have dating apps, don't interact with them. If a woman approaches you be nice and respectful but do not flirt or overtly joke, treat them as an equal man and then leave after the reason for the conversation is over. If a girl comes up to you and flirts kindly turn her down, if she asks you out suddenly say no thank you, don't make up a reason she only has agency because of some external reason not because she likes you. Be vague when talking about your life or weekend plans, anything you do or do with them like hooking up will be picked apart and analyzed by her and her online friends. You are a traitor and not helping anyone if you fall for their tricks.
If men can't display a modicum of power over society, this world and women, then I guess they don't hold much power at all.

fuck i slept with a girl who had rashes on her arms and neck and body raw
not on her privates or legs though
how fucked am i

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>>35019788
>AI voice
>AI visuals
>AI script
Holy slop

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should you date more than one girl at a time?
>basically meet a stunning girl
>we get a long, kiss and reach 2nd base.
>meanwhile, saw a hot, fit girl at the supermarket and cold approached
>got her IG and we've been texting.
>agreed to get coffee

I want to ask the first girl to be my gf, she's saying she misses me and stuff. I like her. But I'm afraid to put all my eggs in one basket, because of current dating paradigm. Any advice?

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How do I cope with being a blackpiller? I just went on a binge on some channels like rehab room and psl god mindset and the stuff they said made perfect sense to me, but oh god I don't want this to be true wtf

>>35019845
One cannot have hope without being at least slightly delusional

>tfw 36yo asian in a western country
>have no hope with white women so recently started going to a japanese talk meetup thing
>meet a few japanese girls in the group, have some small banter, we practice eng/jp talking, feels ok
>find out 2 are dating white bfs and the other is married to one
It's over for ricecels

What dating app is the best to find a non normie girl ?

>>35019854
All girls are normies

>>35019857
then I'll say it like this a girl you would not see in a starbucks

>>35019836
Most of my life I've dated non-exclusively. Just don't ask girls out from the same place and it's fine. Most women will also do this too unless there's an explicit discussion about it.