Is there some systemic approach to human existence by which one can assess whether or not they should kill themselves that isn't merely about "subjective experience bro!"? I don't want to be haphazard here, and I'm in a wierd place of having 0 idea of what I'm progressing towards but my death but also not being gut wrenchingly depressed to the point that I desperately want to kill myself, maybe because I once did and I've been coping for 10 years. I just need something different. I feel like I'm operating at the low level of something like the Maslows hierarchy of needs and something isn't fullfilled, and years have shown me nothing's going to come and fill it. I know no action I take is going to fill it. I just want to get real, and do something. I'm sick of sitting and waiting every single fucking day, with my only prospect being "hey, maybe i can work a 9-5 wagecuck job soon!".Speaking of which, is there something better than the Maslows hierarchy that can help you find out what exactly it really is you are missing? I look at that joke chart, see "love and belonging" and instantly I know it's non negotiable. What a cocksucking fucking joke.
>>35006379You're bitching about having no purpose while waiting/expecting something to come along and whisk you away saving you from your current circumstances, let me reality check you on this - it's never going to happen. You are in control of your own life dude, you are your own decision-maker. YOU need to make decisions to help better yourself and get yourself into better circumstances to help find that sense of purpose. What's your passion? Do you have any talents? Any ambitions whatsoever? If you think about it long enough you might get some ideas and the next thing you might get stuck on is you don't know which one to pick, but that's okay, there's no rule locking you to one. Life's whatever you make it and it's not going to stock and give you a handout just because you aren't willing or think you aren't capable of putting in the effort, you can't even say that if you haven't genuinely tried.
>>35006446To start with a large part of my problem is that there are IN FACT elements of every single persons life that wasn't a matter of their own actions. When you are born, when you are a child, your upbringing, are obvious and massively significant things you never go out of your way to deal with. If you are living, you most likely did have someone whisking you away at some point in your life, otherwise, you'd be dead. You don't have control over your life in the early parts of it, and not every person has the same fortune in those times. Not every person is properly socialized in their upbringing, not ever person has connections and community bestowed upon them entirely independant of their will, and yet those things make a massive difference on a persons life. Not every person has good parents, not every person has or had loving parents, not every person has any or even living parents in important developemental periods of their lives. Not every person is fortunate enough to have the same internal wellbeing as a launch point for whatever they would do with their lives, and not everyone is going to be fortunate enough to be sent off into adulthood without a backdrop of abuse, deprivation, and other such things. That's really the crux of my inquiry. Is there a way I can know that I fullfill little enough that I can safely say it was never going to go anywhere anyways? I haven't lived a normal life and I know my mind absolutely cannot be operating from the point that most peoples do. Most, if they asked me things about my life, if they got answers, woul look at me like they are perplexed, depending, they might feign pitty. My parents didn't raise me like they wanted me to go anywhere, and my father died in my teenage years. My mother was basically asleep at the wheel. I never had any useful skill at any point passed down to me, no useful knowledge and most certainly nothing I can capitalize on. -cont'd
>>35006446>What's your passion?Big problem. I don't have any. I briefly see things that I think could be in the world that could be brought into being which I could crucify myself on the altar of creating if I wanted to, that would be leagues from trivial, that I'm ill prepared, and considering where I am in life, probably too low IQ to be able to do myself, and sometimes, those ideas inspire me a little bit, but only a little bit, and the vision is too blury.>Do you have any talents?I have none that are obvious. If I have any, there's never been someone there to tell me about it, no-one there to compliment me. Nobody ever gave me an idea of how what I have could become something, and my parents never tried to cultivate an interest in me.>If you think about it long enough you might get some ideas and the next thing you might get stuck on is you don't know which one to pickI really do wish I could think of something good. I have vague creative ideas at times, but it's so rare. I learned that I'm probably only creative in situations where my life shifts considerably enough that I'm not seeing the same repeating images before me every single day. In other words, my life hasn't began yet and I'm given no hope that it will, which makes me wonder if the things in this world just aren't for me, and maybe I won't have a chance. Maybe I just didn't have the situation which would have allowed me easy passage into it. None can deny that in some element of their life there was easy. It begs the question, what then, in life, is hinged upon that? I genuinely don't know, and I feel insane when I try to think about it, not knowing if I do or do not have the same refference point of someone that went anywhere.
>>35006379What you're looking for is philosophy. By which I don't mean the 19th century and onward sophistry, but the literal love of wisdom dating back to Plato, Epictetus and Aristotle. Loving wisdom means loving the virtues that wisdom is the mother of, and any man who loves virtue will also love his life because life is a constant and continual opportunity to grow in the virtues. When you love honesty, integrity, justice and compassion so much that you're simply happy for the chance to grow in those areas and model yourself after them more accurately, then you'll have your entire hierarchy of needs met all at once.
>>35006506>there was easymeant "ease"
>>35006507Maybe. Would the /lit/ "start with the Greeks" guide be the way to go? I suppose there's only so many Greek philosophical giants to parce through.
>>35006379Do you live near a volcano?
>>35006545Nope.
>>35006552Can't Mishima myself here. At least, not that kind of Mishima.
>>35006535I think it would be best to start with practical philosophy rather than academic, so I'd save Plato, Aristotle and Plotinus for later and begin with Epictetus and Seneca. If those two feel like a light in the dark, I'd suggest continuing with Boethius's Consolation of Philosophy. The reason why I urge practice over academia, is because these ideas have to penetrate deep and become something that you live, rather than something you merely think about. It's one thing to understand virtue, but another entirely to love virtue to the point where you're willing to both live for it and die for it. Only loving it brings you to a point of fulfillment and happiness, understanding doesn't suffice at all, rather it merely opens the door slightly.
>>35006558Thanks.
>>35006578No problem anon, I hope you find happiness one way or another. I had a pretty rough start and came close to giving up more than once, too, so hopefully it helps to hear someone say from first-hand experience that it's absolutely possible to turn things around.
>>35006379
Why would you kill yourself when that foot could be in your mouth.
Same feels like i can accomplish something great but am lost at the blueprint then just distract myself with whatever makes me forget
I'd argue a bad life is still worth living out. First, because there's always a chance something super interesting could happen like winning the lottery. Second, because you'll have all eternity to be dead.
