Horse GeneralShare your saddest horse story editionOld grey Mare >>5102201>be me>on a hike with best friend when we were celebrating his recent engagement>he climbs an escarpment for a photo>snake bites him on the leg>do everything right, put on a pressure bandage and make him remain prone>help arrives but it's from the animal hospital and time is of the essence>they take him in a stretcher and drive him the 45 minutes to the hospital>I follow in a separate vehicle>they seem professional so I wait in an office>six hours pass, I'm getting worried>the ambulance from the hospital arrives>they rush in with a gurney>I stand up but I'm blocked from going in>I hear an argument while a vet is talking to me>the paramedics come back through>there has been a mix up>my best friend... >they mixed up the paper work and have completed full horse surgery>I get led in>he is a full horse in the bed now>he neighs sadly (I still think about this, I think that means there was a piece of him in there) It's been a week and I've helped his parents finish the paperwork to remove his human status and sell him. The trip was meant to be for a month, I haven't even told his fiance.
Kek, thanks for the laugh anon.Also sorry for your loss :(
>>5108455>thanks for the laughWhat part of that post was funny to you? Are you genuinely a psychopath?
>>5108470Probably the horse in a hat
>>5108474>stephuman im stuckthe guy actually believed the horse
>>5108473>beach episode
>>5108419my saddest horse story is>work at horse rescue/sanctuary>horse is sickly, has issues>keeps laying down and not able to get up>this is like the fifth time now>group of 10 people there>we try to help it stand up but she just doesn't want to go on anymore>decision with the vet made, has to be put down>see grown men cry>fight not to as wellthat's it
why are you trying to make people said anons? horses bring joy
>>5108474How do they keep ending up in these situations?
>>5108660Maybe a plot issue idk
>>5108660They are unaware of their titanic asses and the damage they do.
>your stove alert app goes off
>>5108704there's one similar to that but in the end the fucking fence BREAKS
>>5108705I never forget the stove because I'm always thinking about horses.
>>5108704>FenceScratchAnd then there's the sequel!>>5108706Hang on
>>5108706Found it, wasn't in the webm folder because it's not a webm
>>5108710You beat me by less than a minute. Horse general is a tight ship.
>>5108707>tfw the stove is turned off, the microwave and oven are empty and off, the front, basement AND backyard doors are closed and locked
>>5108710fatnastic
>>5108548Caring for a dying horse is a difficult. Usually they know their time is coming and they start drifting off from the herd more and more. I've caught one standing at an edge of the field looking at the sunset as the rest of his buds were coming in, he had lived with those horses for well over a decade. I know I'm preaching to the choir here but there is something to be said about their souls, I think they have them anyway, and if they don't then humans certainly do not.
>An article about Wind in her Hair and her life as a 35 year old retired horse/broodmare>general questions about what her daily routine is and how she's been able to stay so healthy at her age and it's really cute reading about how the little ponies and stuff view her as a leader and how kind she is to everyone who sees her>interviewer asks about her love life>the caretakers say she has been seen rubbing faces with San Bruno, a horse 20 years younger than herhow scandalous!
I've asked all the horses in the world to be a little better. And they have agreed.
>>5108733I remember being far too young while being left along with a dying man who opined for animals that "died more honestly".
Always relevant
>>5108710I like when horses prove fences are suggestions. All the clips of them jumping s fence halfway and the fence always breaks.
w-what is this horse doing?
>>5108838Ceci n'est pas une pipe
look at him score!
>>5108841>that little jump when he realises he got the perfect shotCUTE!
>>5108743She's such a cute old lady, I can't be mad at her.
>>5108743>Rules over horselets with a firm but fair hoof >Made a bunch of foals>Teases men far younger than her>Refuses to die Truly the ultimare
>>5108844>literally me when I hit the wastebasket from my chair on a monday morninghonsetly not sure if that's a good or a bad sign for my life
>>5108908You probably have horsebrain.
>>5108910it does feel like it
Strange weekend
>>5108616It's nice to explore the whole spectrum of the horse.
>>5108704>>5108709>>5108710Holy shit I'll never take my hands for granted again. Imagine only being able to scratch an itch if there's a convenient object nearby.
>>5109218It's the #1 reason why horses think humans are great
>>5109227
>>5109227Go on....
Saw the cutest cashier when I was out shopping today
>>5109359Tell me you got her number
A lot of Japanese accounts were posting videos showing how to love and care for their foals and horses because there was a big controversy recently where a farm had video released that showed them hurting a poor little foal to try and make it behave. I didn't watch the video because it would make me sad, but seeing so many people show off their adorable horses to try and brighten the moods of everyone who had a bad day seeing it makes me happy
I'm sad because my friend has to put her horse down, but cannot afford the cremation services for after. I cannot post a link to the fundraiser she's running, but if anyone knows any other ways to help, we need all the help we can get.
>>5109434how expensive is it anyway?maybe dig big hole on the farm she lives at and put gorse into it
>>5109447It's very expensive, at least $2k. Not allowed to bury him unfortunately.
>>5109447Near my area a few years ago somebody buried a few horses and it contaminated the water.
>>5109485>A horse is buried near a water supply>Rates of carrot and oat consumption skyrocket among the local populacemany such cases
>>5109651no....
>>5109651I had a dream I seen one...
My saddest horse story is that I keep going to sleepand when I wake up, I am still not a horse
>>5109651what do you mean "was" where did they go? someone's gotta get to the bottom of it!
>>5109662>inspector ponyIs there anything they can't do?
>>5109662>Sherlock PonesI'm obviously still sleepy.
>>5109676ride horses
>>5109706I seen a stallion attempt it once.
>>5109727i’ve seen geldings attempt it. made it about halfway up?
>>5109727>>5109737Those are called homosexuals and they are just like you and I.
Horse. Horses. Horse 3.
A horse managed to attach cork to her feet, sneak into my room while I was sleeping and neighed all over me.
My boy is turning 20 next month, and he loves bananas. What is a good birthday present for him, preferably banana related?
>>5109833Banana bread?
>bought a horse>looks inside>all i see is salamii love bigfoot
>>5109833you're not going to believe this but he might want some bananas
>>5109833Dress in a banana costume and present some big mike bananas.
You ever think about how the miniature horse exists just because way back then we wanted to create a horse that was smaller and would make us happy and be our friends? And even now, they still exist just to be small horses that are our friends and make us happy by doing little shows.
>>5109856well, that's one way of putting it. realistically it was the elite of Europe that wanted small house pets that they could feel smug about as they looked down on the peasants and their unsophisticated cat and dog companions. which was kind of based, just a shame it never eventuated in them being a common and easy to care for housepet in the 21st century
>>5109833One hardboiled egg
>>5109856I've got business in Tokyo. I'm going to fit in some miniature horse staring into the trip though.
>>5109925They can speak. Unfortunately my Japanese is limited.
>>5109926Fortunately I already know what they rejoice in.
>>5109927>Gluttonous >Rampaging Yup that's a pony
Of women emulate horse like features, hooves and manes, why dont they try emulating loyalty or usefulness?
>>5109965You really think of heels as hooves?
>>5109989ugh
>>5109965I will say that one speedskating lady at the olympics emulated a different body part quite well
>>5110031Yeah she did have a horseface
>>5110031The soul?
>>5109989Whoa, blue board, anon!
>>5109989Those are some long nips. Are they making dairy horses more? I drink horse milk once a month but it's so expensive.
>>5110044Have you tried horse kumis?
>>5110045No. Never seen it. I just get coomer hayes mare milk shipped frozen. I had it still warm when I had business at the foal factory once. That was worth doing.
Who's been trying to recruit kids as horse enthusiasts?
>>5110040I don't think any human can emulate that body part>>5110053>coomer hayesis that the famous stallion milk?
>>5109965They also emulate deer features with the highheel shoes
>>5109989That person is way too rough to that horse. Someone should do that on those people and see if they like it.
>>5110072It's socially acceptable to compare a woman to a deer but never a horse. It's deep layers that are layed to persecute horse admirers.
>>5110057
>>5110044>I drink horse milkwhy? are there special grow hormones that normal cows /humans dont have? or is it the taste? never in my life have i heard that there is horse milk to buy or someone that is actually buying and drinking it
>>5110109IDK maybe he's in mongolia
>>5110109nta but haven't you ever been curious? I know where I could get some, it's just kind of out of the way and I don't like ordering perishables online, but if I'm ever in the area...
>>5109418and just a few days later, the filly that was being abused and the mom were taken in by a new owner.
>>5110109https://maresmilk.co.uk/meet-the-horses/You can even meat the horses you will be drinking. Maresonally I drink it for the taste and the fact it gives me sexual powers.
>>5110074What if I told you that mare actually enjoys the pain?
>>5110171I'd tell you to kys yourself, no offense
>>5109987They elevate each joint up a chain and simulate how a horse's leg works. Horses basically walk on their toenails.
>I GET UP
I'm thinking on changing careers. I'm not fulfilled. Is there something like solving horse crimes or horse justice?
>>5110259A horse rescue. Justice for neglected and abused horses.
>>5110198
>>5110365>when the wife wakes you up to show you a patch of grass she found>mare we are in a field
>>5110259Mareitail issue counselor
>>5110259There are equine insurance companies who employ private investigators to look for fraud. It's a good job if you want to learn to hate people more, as you'll run into the worst kind of people and basically never get to see any happy-ending horse stories.
>>5110381I have a degree in applied biology. I thought about horse forensics but I don't want to be too cynical.
>>5109930He leaned back too far and rippen through that canvas ceiling above him.
excuse me, chaps, I can't stop. I've got to see a horse about a man
There was a tent set up on the beach with a horse inside and for $4 they let you look at the horse for 15 minutes. They didn't tell you what the money was for before you gave it to them and went into the tent.
>>5110543Was it at least a pretty horse?
How would you have designed horses if you were the CEO of horses and they didn't exist yet
>>5110567Have them able to vomit, for once.
>>5110565Most horses are. I am a gentleman. I nearly lost a hand in a duel when we agreed most mares are kind of lovely.
>>5108704They're kinda like big, tall and fast tortoises that are I believe smarter.They are unaware of how big of tanks they are and they just crush things by accident but are very sweet and will chase you for a strawberry and knock a bunch of things over, maybe you.I like them.
>>5110691
>>5110741>moments before disaster
He had a reservation and just wanted to check in early
Were you ever bitten by a horse?If yes, did you survive?
>>5109218Imagine having a MASSIVE horse sized dong but no hands to jack it with
>>5110876Neighcism has to stop. This poor mare was simply trying to look at the carrots but this bigot had a problem.
>>5110951>Driving on the road>See a trailer full of nothing but horses since they aren't allowed to ride the same buses as humans
>>5110986I really really like this picture.
Love is love
>>5110909>no one repliesspooky
>>5110909does gentle gnawing count as biting?
Polo seems more niche than I'd think. Also looks fun and more dynamic than racing.
>go to polo event>get rich horse girl gfAm I missing something? Will they not let the poor get near them?
>>5111081It's a pretty great spectator sport, and watching the mares enjoy the mock-roughhousing is cute. I wouldn't play it though, shit's like the second most dangerous sport, just behind formula one for the number of per capita fatalities per year.
>>5111081My sister loved playing polo when she studied in Stirling. A shame it's so niche everywhere.
>>5110909The giant gelding back home always seems to think trying to fit my entire shoulder inside his mouth is more fun than getting neck scritches. It's a bit annoying.
I was at a wedding and the reception was at a ranch with a big shed. I snuck off for a smoke after dinner and I found the photographer in the stables making out with one of the horses. He said it was for a prank but it was literally just him in there.
>>5111190Did you give him a thumbs up, do a 360, and moonwalk out of there?
>>5111193I believed him at the time but the more I thought about it things just didn't add up.
>>5110909Yes.I was around 5 or 6 years old. My family and I were visiting my older sister's riding school as they were prepared for today's lesson. I was standing with my back turned to a house that was cross tied, not talking or touching the horse or waving my arms, in fact I had not interacted with the horse whatsoever. Not attempted to pet it or talk to it, no giving it treats, nothing. Suddenly the horse bit down HARD on my shoulder, even lifting me off the ground a little. Despite me wearing like 4 layers of thick winter clothing, it STILL managed to draw blood. It was not enough for me to go to the hospital but I had a painful pitch black bruise on my shoulder for weeks.My best guess is that the horse was stressed and probably fed up with its environment (my sister has since admitted to me that the way the horses were kept at that riding school was... "inadequate") and I happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
>>5111134I can't find any info on how dangerous polo is, only polio.
>>5111283I heard the statistics way back in the 90s. I figure it's pretty dangerous because if you fall, at any point in time there's a good chance a bunch of horses with cleated shoes are already coming hard straight at you. In horse racing, they'll be moving away from you almost immediately and the ground isn't torn up and unsteady, so there's less chance of getting stepped on or crushed when two horses collide, or having one trip and fall on you.
>>5111282okay but did you survive?
>>5111290Not entirely sure, I may or may not have become my own literal ghost writer.
>>5111282>Horse is le stressed>Chomps the nearest living thing it can because muh triggeredWhy are horses so fucking dumb
>>5111301Hey now, don't be mean to the horse, maybe it had been bullied by another short fat kid wearing a winter jacket before I showed up.
Meisho Doto is 30 today
>>5111301I think any mammal that is stressed will use any weapons they have on whichever target is available to relieve that stress, even if that target isn't the cause of the stress. if you've ever worked in an office environment you'll know what I mean
>>5111398That's true. I was around 5 or 6 years old. My family and I were visiting my older sister's office as they were prepared for today's business meeting. I was standing with my back turned to a lady that was on a call, not talking or touching the lady or waving my arms, in fact I had not interacted with the lady whatsoever. Not attempted to pet her or talk to her, no giving her treats, nothing. Suddenly the lady bit down HARD on my shoulder, even lifting me off the ground a little. Despite me wearing like 4 layers of thick winter clothing, she STILL managed to draw blood. It was not enough for me to go to the hospital but I had a painful pitch black bruise on my shoulder for weeks.My best guess is that the lady was stressed and probably fed up with her call (my sister has since admitted to me that the way the interns were kept at that office was... "inadequate") and I happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
>>5111373Happy Birthday Doto!
>>5111401sorry that happened to you. that's why we keep our interns no longer chained to their desk. here she'd just have dragged you out by the ear (and shouted at you and/or your parents), which at least doesn't cause bruising
>>5111373cute scrungly old fart
>>5108419They keep coming up to check me out while I'm trying to mow the fences.
>>5111537They're helping.
>>5111537>>5111584Did they also scream at your ass?
is it unethical to feed a hoers cake?the answer is no horses would love cake and they would love u v. much if you fed them cake
>>5112056A little cake as a treat is nice. A whole wedding cake would be bad for the horse. I prefer beer as a treat for them.
>>5111885Thankfully no, I'd have to stop mowing with the whipper snipper
>>5112085Hey, I must be within ten kilometers of ewe.
I love when people post this frame on random boards and it completely flies under the radar >>>/mlp/43128930
>>5112171>random boards
