Horse GeneralShare your saddest horse story editionOld grey Mare >>5102201>be me>on a hike with best friend when we were celebrating his recent engagement>he climbs an escarpment for a photo>snake bites him on the leg>do everything right, put on a pressure bandage and make him remain prone>help arrives but it's from the animal hospital and time is of the essence>they take him in a stretcher and drive him the 45 minutes to the hospital>I follow in a separate vehicle>they seem professional so I wait in an office>six hours pass, I'm getting worried>the ambulance from the hospital arrives>they rush in with a gurney>I stand up but I'm blocked from going in>I hear an argument while a vet is talking to me>the paramedics come back through>there has been a mix up>my best friend... >they mixed up the paper work and have completed full horse surgery>I get led in>he is a full horse in the bed now>he neighs sadly (I still think about this, I think that means there was a piece of him in there) It's been a week and I've helped his parents finish the paperwork to remove his human status and sell him. The trip was meant to be for a month, I haven't even told his fiance.
Kek, thanks for the laugh anon.Also sorry for your loss :(
>>5108455>thanks for the laughWhat part of that post was funny to you? Are you genuinely a psychopath?
>>5108470Probably the horse in a hat
>>5108474>stephuman im stuckthe guy actually believed the horse
>>5108473>beach episode
>>5108419my saddest horse story is>work at horse rescue/sanctuary>horse is sickly, has issues>keeps laying down and not able to get up>this is like the fifth time now>group of 10 people there>we try to help it stand up but she just doesn't want to go on anymore>decision with the vet made, has to be put down>see grown men cry>fight not to as wellthat's it
why are you trying to make people said anons? horses bring joy
>>5108474How do they keep ending up in these situations?
>>5108660Maybe a plot issue idk
>>5108660They are unaware of their titanic asses and the damage they do.
>your stove alert app goes off
>>5108704there's one similar to that but in the end the fucking fence BREAKS
>>5108705I never forget the stove because I'm always thinking about horses.
>>5108704>FenceScratchAnd then there's the sequel!>>5108706Hang on
>>5108706Found it, wasn't in the webm folder because it's not a webm
>>5108710You beat me by less than a minute. Horse general is a tight ship.
>>5108707>tfw the stove is turned off, the microwave and oven are empty and off, the front, basement AND backyard doors are closed and locked
>>5108710fatnastic
>>5108548Caring for a dying horse is a difficult. Usually they know their time is coming and they start drifting off from the herd more and more. I've caught one standing at an edge of the field looking at the sunset as the rest of his buds were coming in, he had lived with those horses for well over a decade. I know I'm preaching to the choir here but there is something to be said about their souls, I think they have them anyway, and if they don't then humans certainly do not.
>An article about Wind in her Hair and her life as a 35 year old retired horse/broodmare>general questions about what her daily routine is and how she's been able to stay so healthy at her age and it's really cute reading about how the little ponies and stuff view her as a leader and how kind she is to everyone who sees her>interviewer asks about her love life>the caretakers say she has been seen rubbing faces with San Bruno, a horse 20 years younger than herhow scandalous!
I've asked all the horses in the world to be a little better. And they have agreed.
>>5108733I remember being far too young while being left along with a dying man who opined for animals that "died more honestly".
Always relevant
>>5108710I like when horses prove fences are suggestions. All the clips of them jumping s fence halfway and the fence always breaks.
w-what is this horse doing?
>>5108838Ceci n'est pas une pipe
look at him score!
>>5108841>that little jump when he realises he got the perfect shotCUTE!
>>5108743She's such a cute old lady, I can't be mad at her.
>>5108743>Rules over horselets with a firm but fair hoof >Made a bunch of foals>Teases men far younger than her>Refuses to die Truly the ultimare
>>5108844>literally me when I hit the wastebasket from my chair on a monday morninghonsetly not sure if that's a good or a bad sign for my life
>>5108908You probably have horsebrain.
>>5108910it does feel like it
Strange weekend
>>5108616It's nice to explore the whole spectrum of the horse.
>>5108704>>5108709>>5108710Holy shit I'll never take my hands for granted again. Imagine only being able to scratch an itch if there's a convenient object nearby.
>>5109218It's the #1 reason why horses think humans are great
>>5109227
>>5109227Go on....
Saw the cutest cashier when I was out shopping today
>>5109359Tell me you got her number
A lot of Japanese accounts were posting videos showing how to love and care for their foals and horses because there was a big controversy recently where a farm had video released that showed them hurting a poor little foal to try and make it behave. I didn't watch the video because it would make me sad, but seeing so many people show off their adorable horses to try and brighten the moods of everyone who had a bad day seeing it makes me happy
I'm sad because my friend has to put her horse down, but cannot afford the cremation services for after. I cannot post a link to the fundraiser she's running, but if anyone knows any other ways to help, we need all the help we can get.
>>5109434how expensive is it anyway?maybe dig big hole on the farm she lives at and put gorse into it
>>5109447It's very expensive, at least $2k. Not allowed to bury him unfortunately.
>>5109447Near my area a few years ago somebody buried a few horses and it contaminated the water.
>>5109485>A horse is buried near a water supply>Rates of carrot and oat consumption skyrocket among the local populacemany such cases
>>5109651no....
>>5109651I had a dream I seen one...
My saddest horse story is that I keep going to sleepand when I wake up, I am still not a horse
>>5109651what do you mean "was" where did they go? someone's gotta get to the bottom of it!
>>5109662>inspector ponyIs there anything they can't do?
>>5109662>Sherlock PonesI'm obviously still sleepy.
>>5109676ride horses
>>5109706I seen a stallion attempt it once.
>>5109727i’ve seen geldings attempt it. made it about halfway up?
>>5109727>>5109737Those are called homosexuals and they are just like you and I.
Horse. Horses. Horse 3.
A horse managed to attach cork to her feet, sneak into my room while I was sleeping and neighed all over me.
My boy is turning 20 next month, and he loves bananas. What is a good birthday present for him, preferably banana related?
>>5109833Banana bread?
>bought a horse>looks inside>all i see is salamii love bigfoot
>>5109833you're not going to believe this but he might want some bananas
>>5109833Dress in a banana costume and present some big mike bananas.
You ever think about how the miniature horse exists just because way back then we wanted to create a horse that was smaller and would make us happy and be our friends? And even now, they still exist just to be small horses that are our friends and make us happy by doing little shows.
>>5109856well, that's one way of putting it. realistically it was the elite of Europe that wanted small house pets that they could feel smug about as they looked down on the peasants and their unsophisticated cat and dog companions. which was kind of based, just a shame it never eventuated in them being a common and easy to care for housepet in the 21st century
>>5109833One hardboiled egg
>>5109856I've got business in Tokyo. I'm going to fit in some miniature horse staring into the trip though.
>>5109925They can speak. Unfortunately my Japanese is limited.
>>5109926Fortunately I already know what they rejoice in.
>>5109927>Gluttonous >Rampaging Yup that's a pony
Of women emulate horse like features, hooves and manes, why dont they try emulating loyalty or usefulness?
>>5109965You really think of heels as hooves?
>>5109989ugh
>>5109965I will say that one speedskating lady at the olympics emulated a different body part quite well
>>5110031Yeah she did have a horseface
>>5110031The soul?
>>5109989Whoa, blue board, anon!
>>5109989Those are some long nips. Are they making dairy horses more? I drink horse milk once a month but it's so expensive.
>>5110044Have you tried horse kumis?
>>5110045No. Never seen it. I just get coomer hayes mare milk shipped frozen. I had it still warm when I had business at the foal factory once. That was worth doing.
Who's been trying to recruit kids as horse enthusiasts?
>>5110040I don't think any human can emulate that body part>>5110053>coomer hayesis that the famous stallion milk?
>>5109965They also emulate deer features with the highheel shoes
>>5109989That person is way too rough to that horse. Someone should do that on those people and see if they like it.
>>5110072It's socially acceptable to compare a woman to a deer but never a horse. It's deep layers that are layed to persecute horse admirers.
>>5110057
>>5110044>I drink horse milkwhy? are there special grow hormones that normal cows /humans dont have? or is it the taste? never in my life have i heard that there is horse milk to buy or someone that is actually buying and drinking it
>>5110109IDK maybe he's in mongolia
>>5110109nta but haven't you ever been curious? I know where I could get some, it's just kind of out of the way and I don't like ordering perishables online, but if I'm ever in the area...
>>5109418and just a few days later, the filly that was being abused and the mom were taken in by a new owner.
>>5110109https://maresmilk.co.uk/meet-the-horses/You can even meat the horses you will be drinking. Maresonally I drink it for the taste and the fact it gives me sexual powers.
>>5110074What if I told you that mare actually enjoys the pain?
>>5110171I'd tell you to kys yourself, no offense
>>5109987They elevate each joint up a chain and simulate how a horse's leg works. Horses basically walk on their toenails.
>I GET UP
I'm thinking on changing careers. I'm not fulfilled. Is there something like solving horse crimes or horse justice?
>>5110259A horse rescue. Justice for neglected and abused horses.
>>5110198
>>5110365>when the wife wakes you up to show you a patch of grass she found>mare we are in a field
>>5110259Mareitail issue counselor
>>5110259There are equine insurance companies who employ private investigators to look for fraud. It's a good job if you want to learn to hate people more, as you'll run into the worst kind of people and basically never get to see any happy-ending horse stories.
>>5110381I have a degree in applied biology. I thought about horse forensics but I don't want to be too cynical.
>>5109930He leaned back too far and rippen through that canvas ceiling above him.
excuse me, chaps, I can't stop. I've got to see a horse about a man
There was a tent set up on the beach with a horse inside and for $4 they let you look at the horse for 15 minutes. They didn't tell you what the money was for before you gave it to them and went into the tent.
>>5110543Was it at least a pretty horse?
How would you have designed horses if you were the CEO of horses and they didn't exist yet
>>5110567Have them able to vomit, for once.
>>5110565Most horses are. I am a gentleman. I nearly lost a hand in a duel when we agreed most mares are kind of lovely.
>>5108704They're kinda like big, tall and fast tortoises that are I believe smarter.They are unaware of how big of tanks they are and they just crush things by accident but are very sweet and will chase you for a strawberry and knock a bunch of things over, maybe you.I like them.
>>5110691
>>5110741>moments before disaster
He had a reservation and just wanted to check in early
Were you ever bitten by a horse?If yes, did you survive?
>>5109218Imagine having a MASSIVE horse sized dong but no hands to jack it with
>>5110876Neighcism has to stop. This poor mare was simply trying to look at the carrots but this bigot had a problem.
>>5110951>Driving on the road>See a trailer full of nothing but horses since they aren't allowed to ride the same buses as humans
>>5110986I really really like this picture.
Love is love
>>5110909>no one repliesspooky
>>5110909does gentle gnawing count as biting?
Polo seems more niche than I'd think. Also looks fun and more dynamic than racing.
>go to polo event>get rich horse girl gfAm I missing something? Will they not let the poor get near them?
>>5111081It's a pretty great spectator sport, and watching the mares enjoy the mock-roughhousing is cute. I wouldn't play it though, shit's like the second most dangerous sport, just behind formula one for the number of per capita fatalities per year.
>>5111081My sister loved playing polo when she studied in Stirling. A shame it's so niche everywhere.
>>5110909The giant gelding back home always seems to think trying to fit my entire shoulder inside his mouth is more fun than getting neck scritches. It's a bit annoying.
I was at a wedding and the reception was at a ranch with a big shed. I snuck off for a smoke after dinner and I found the photographer in the stables making out with one of the horses. He said it was for a prank but it was literally just him in there.
>>5111190Did you give him a thumbs up, do a 360, and moonwalk out of there?
>>5111193I believed him at the time but the more I thought about it things just didn't add up.
>>5110909Yes.I was around 5 or 6 years old. My family and I were visiting my older sister's riding school as they were prepared for today's lesson. I was standing with my back turned to a house that was cross tied, not talking or touching the horse or waving my arms, in fact I had not interacted with the horse whatsoever. Not attempted to pet it or talk to it, no giving it treats, nothing. Suddenly the horse bit down HARD on my shoulder, even lifting me off the ground a little. Despite me wearing like 4 layers of thick winter clothing, it STILL managed to draw blood. It was not enough for me to go to the hospital but I had a painful pitch black bruise on my shoulder for weeks.My best guess is that the horse was stressed and probably fed up with its environment (my sister has since admitted to me that the way the horses were kept at that riding school was... "inadequate") and I happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
>>5111134I can't find any info on how dangerous polo is, only polio.
>>5111283I heard the statistics way back in the 90s. I figure it's pretty dangerous because if you fall, at any point in time there's a good chance a bunch of horses with cleated shoes are already coming hard straight at you. In horse racing, they'll be moving away from you almost immediately and the ground isn't torn up and unsteady, so there's less chance of getting stepped on or crushed when two horses collide, or having one trip and fall on you.
>>5111282okay but did you survive?
>>5111290Not entirely sure, I may or may not have become my own literal ghost writer.
>>5111282>Horse is le stressed>Chomps the nearest living thing it can because muh triggeredWhy are horses so fucking dumb
>>5111301Hey now, don't be mean to the horse, maybe it had been bullied by another short fat kid wearing a winter jacket before I showed up.
Meisho Doto is 30 today
>>5111301I think any mammal that is stressed will use any weapons they have on whichever target is available to relieve that stress, even if that target isn't the cause of the stress. if you've ever worked in an office environment you'll know what I mean
>>5111398That's true. I was around 5 or 6 years old. My family and I were visiting my older sister's office as they were prepared for today's business meeting. I was standing with my back turned to a lady that was on a call, not talking or touching the lady or waving my arms, in fact I had not interacted with the lady whatsoever. Not attempted to pet her or talk to her, no giving her treats, nothing. Suddenly the lady bit down HARD on my shoulder, even lifting me off the ground a little. Despite me wearing like 4 layers of thick winter clothing, she STILL managed to draw blood. It was not enough for me to go to the hospital but I had a painful pitch black bruise on my shoulder for weeks.My best guess is that the lady was stressed and probably fed up with her call (my sister has since admitted to me that the way the interns were kept at that office was... "inadequate") and I happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
>>5111373Happy Birthday Doto!
>>5111401sorry that happened to you. that's why we keep our interns no longer chained to their desk. here she'd just have dragged you out by the ear (and shouted at you and/or your parents), which at least doesn't cause bruising
>>5111373cute scrungly old fart
>>5108419They keep coming up to check me out while I'm trying to mow the fences.
>>5111537They're helping.
>>5111537>>5111584Did they also scream at your ass?
is it unethical to feed a hoers cake?the answer is no horses would love cake and they would love u v. much if you fed them cake
>>5112056A little cake as a treat is nice. A whole wedding cake would be bad for the horse. I prefer beer as a treat for them.
>>5111885Thankfully no, I'd have to stop mowing with the whipper snipper
>>5112085Hey, I must be within ten kilometers of ewe.
I love when people post this frame on random boards and it completely flies under the radar >>>/mlp/43128930
>>5112171>random boards
Is it true that horses have an innate ability to recognize evilness?
>>5112171merge /mlp/, all umamusume discussion, and horse general into /eq/
Don't know shit about horses but took a volunteer job on the side at a horse training school where they let actual retards ride.
>>5112214so how do you like riding?
>>5112220I'm just doing some chores dude lol
>>5112221oh, you should have said there's still a minimum IQ. nevermind.
>>5112222I'm easy prey when I'm baked I guess.
Imagine having a giant horse who will always be at your side, warm you in winter and kick anyone's butt who tries to fuck with you
>>5112207No they are pious Christians who recognize the worship of the covenant with Noah as an excuse to do evil, is unnatural.
>>5112383It'd be logistically challenging but I would make it work.
>>5112383OVER 300LB OF NECK AND ASS
Wild horses crossing a river in Lorestan, Iran
>>5112552I hope they stay safe
>>5112552Imagine being the damp foal
>>5112610terrifying.
Today is Secretariat's birthday, the horse would be 56 today
>>5112643>implying he isn't still aliveISHYGDDT
>>5112689>horses went extinct >SECRETARIAT IS STILL ALIVEMake up your fucking mind, people
>>5112693there can be only one
>>5112693Horses can't be defined with linear time. There is always horse and there was never any horses.
>>5112717I hear they say the universe is just horses all the way down.
I accidentally done LSD a few weeks ago. When I looked at my horse pictures I could see beyond the frame of the photo. It only worked on the horse pictures, tried all other animals and things.
>>5112721how did you manage to accidentally do that? it's not the 40s anymore
>>5112739Someone put a bunch in some orange juice and gave it to me.
>>51127392 horse pics says his roommate put it in something innocuous, like kool aid in the fridge
>>5112747Shit, too slow. Well here's one horse pic
>>5112748You're an honest feller
>>5112693If there is a horse within my line of sight then horsekind is plentiful and prospering. If there is no horse within my sight then horsekind is forever extinct, never to walk the Earth ever again. It's as shrimple as that.
>>5112844sink holes are fucking scary
>>5112853Is only pit pony.
The horses at the dump were right up at the fence but I can't be seen talking to them.
Do you ever get horse vibes from songs? I get it a lot and I don't know what links them.
What are some good april fools day pranks I can play on my horse?
>>5112952Which songs anon? I could give them a listen and see what's common amongst them
I knew anime was horse-based media all alonghttps://anilist.co/search/anime/popular
>>5112954sneak up on one, then jump and shout "BOO!"hilarity guaranteed
>>5113038This, but with an added spank to their flankyou'll be on the ground dy- laughing
>>5112954Blow extremely had and suddenly directly into her nostril
>>5113070>>5113047>>5113038I've done all of these already, boring. Another funny one is tossing a single blade of grass in the air close to horse. Always gets him so good.
>>5113071Rubber horse mask full of marmite on your face and a big cloak is always good.
>>5113074A horse mask would be cool, but I dont think I can get one in time. Maybe I'll have him sniff an apple, and then swap it out for a carrot at the very last second.
I did one prank so far. I put my hand in my pocket and asked him if he wanted a treat. When I pulled my hand out and opened it he tried to eat a treat, but there was none there.
>>5113093hahaha
>>5113093how dare you, too far man...
>>5113071Run at them at full speed, then dive between their legs
>>5112954Offer them a delicious apple but instead of an apple it's actually an onion you painted red
>>5112980It's hard to say, I just listen to the radio and then it hits me like a train HORSE MUSIC. I found some disparate examples from memory. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RUIeX6UCT8https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w15oWDh02K4https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA0VfqtIK_A&list=RDMM&index=27https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHzVjGBxOJs&list=RDQB7XgVJPLPY&index=2There are a ton more but non-horse music outnumbers them at least hundreds to one.
Kinda weird how horse racing has super severe regulations on horse abuse. On the other hand polo is much more dynamic and doesn't seem to have as much stigma. Somehow the more boring sport has more abuse than horse shove soccer.Is it just popularity? I know crime gangs like rigging sports. Things like polo are way too hard to rig.
>>5113235There's a lot more money in horse racing so some people with questionable motives will try to come in and try and make a quick buck off a horse without caring about them
>>5113237Some of it's also perceptions. There's a public belief (fostered by some real life evidence, and a whole lot more by movies and TV) that crooks are always lurking around horse racing, and that doping of horses is like a common thing that crooks do all the time. California passed the strictest, most rigorous drug testing laws in the country for horse racing back in like the 80s, and false positives (due to margin of error in trying to test for very tiny amounts of a drug) destroyed some honest people's careers and only reinforced the idea that there are crooks all over.
>>5113102lol sojyak deserved that with his sojyak tech.
>>5113237That makes sense. Horse racing being popular attracts greedy people. Betters sit around and maybe bribe a jockey. Polo people are risking trampling by a stampede of horses.I was also thinking that horses are made to run. If you have the top 1% fastest horses and you are pushing them even harder, that's going to strain them a lot more than jogging around and bumping into each other (polo.)>>5113240>crooks are always lurking around horse racing, Yes it's called organized crime. The vast majority of it is rigging betting odds or fraud, not drugs. Why do you think the Yakuza are involved with Uma Musume? Because they control the dying horse racing industry. (Yakuza doesn't let Japanese artists make porn of uma musume characters lol.)
>>5112746>>5112747lmao that's crazy. I've had some nice and even some not so nice trips but if someone did that to me I'd probably slap them around for wasting perfectly good drugs on me when I'm not ready for them>>5112952not quite the same but when I listen to music I like to imagine it in a dressage freestyle, especially when it's a genre that isn't usually played there. bonus points when I can imagine a walk/trot or trot/canter transition in one song. and no, I don't ride dressage, it's just fun to imagine. and some songs that I very much like feel completely off beat or too fast/slow for anything in that direction
>>5113228One commonality I could infer from these songs might be nostalgia. 3 of them from the 80's, and the one outlier is still from 2000, which could be considered nostalgic for some. Did you ride horses in the past? There might be some subconscious longing to return to that time. Another thing might be the fairly upbeat nature of the music in these songs. For The Boys of Summer, I can definitely see this as a Horse song. Just listening to it made me imagine the silhouetted figure of a scantily clad bikini babe or burly baywatch man riding a galloping horse across the beach, as a golden sunset illuminates the horizon and ocean.L'amour Toujours is a tricky one. One wouldn't normally associate electronic/house music with horses, however a certain group of small, colourful equine enjoyers have made a lot of music in those genres (There's even a cover of this song, funnily enough, so you're not the only one to make that connection). Looking at the lyrics, perhaps there's a more emotional aspect there? Something about the undying love of a man for his horse, and vice versa?With Walk Like An Egyptian, I imagine a horse trotting through the desert along with the beat, perhaps in Egypt itself. I know horses were quiet important for ancient Egypt in the New Kingdom for both warfare and as a symbol of royalty.(Coincidentally, this song was used as an outro for JoJo, which is just now getting the part that's all about horses animated)Finally Modern Love, this one is also a little tricky. I can sort of visualise it as the song for the opening of a late 80's British TV show about horses and horse riding. The lyrics could allude to someone disillusioned with "modern love", who instead seeks out the love of a rider and their horse.Alright, autism ramble over
>>5113228>>5113419Oh, and also>I just listen to the radio and then it hits me like a train HORSE MUSICI know the feeling. I have my own list of what I call "imagination" songs. Essentially, these are songs where, upon listening to them for the first time, I almost immediately begins imagining elaborate stories and "animations" about horses to go along with them, with little to no difficulty.
>>5113419The neighties does seem to have more than other decades. The lyrics seem to have nothing to do with it, or rather the subject of the lyrics don't have any bearing. The instrumental would still summon horses.
>Horse music>Bad Horsie came from a dream that Steve Vai had, in which a metal horse was chasing a trainhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq_nUOVr_SY
>>5113489I wish my horse dreams were so soothing.
>>5113529the horse is clearly dead, but who is moving him between frames?
>>5113529WAKE ME UP INSIDE (CANT WAKE UP)
Fact: It's perfectly natural for larger horses to eat smaller horses.
Oh lawd he comin
>>5114009Imagine a 5 lane highway, but it's all horses going 50-80MPH instead of cars.
>>5108419I love horses but they also make me sad. I dream of living out in the country with a few, but am too much of a poorfag. Horses were always bros when I was a kid.>will never bond to beloved colic-doggo>will never snuggle in a barn during winter>will never live out dream of going camping with horse/mule>why live
>>5114122You could possibly win the lottery one day. If you know a horse they could help you choose numbers, most likely.
>>5114122
>blows through your thread
>>5114479The horses are being prepared by professionals. You have no power here.
>>5114491lol at that mildly annoyed expression>Ok, I'm desensitized, can we be done with this shit now?
I'm a big fan of the morning videos of American Pharoah during his stallion stint in Japan. They're literally just him chilling out being fed some carrots while listening to classical music. A very fancy horse
>>5114641Me if I was a horse.
I wish I was a horse bros
>>5114709Just go hiking with OP
Remember your appeasement gel if you don't want to be neighed to pieces.
>>5114964What if you put that on a plastic bag and wave it in your horses face?
>>5114965They cancel each other out so I'd imagine the bag or the horse would vanish.
What would you realistically go through to get a talking horse friend you can hang around with all day?
>>5114102Weird cat
>>5114986Heavily depends on if the talking horse is male or female
>>5115153I flipped the horse coin. Mare but BIG DRAUGHT HORSE.
>>5114986not that much, really. I have humans for my human socializing needs, what I like about horses is that they don't yap all day. they can tell me they enjoy my company or want me to fuck off in their own ways
>>5115226The bigger the mare the more that I care
>>5114986I would only accept magical ponies named fluttershy
>>5115379Get some megamare perfume. Attracts only the largest mares guaranteed.
>>5115458What if its a small horse with a mega personality tho?
>>5115471Dangerous combination. I would advise buying a fake identity and moving to the opposite end of the earth but they never listen and it's a frantic call at four am and some neighing in the background.
I am in a good place in this crazy world but I do not see it leading to horse ownership any time soon and I am getting old. I work with horses all the time but owning a horse is the only thing I have ever cared about. I need to make some changes.
>>5115472holy cute
>>5115508handy chart, thanks
>>5115508O dfi rgia dXW IR'A ll ocwe
I can't sleep because I hear every horse thought when I close my eyes
>>5115545What are they thinking about? Are they spreading nasty rumors about me again?
>>5115544Noo not the sad face
I know it's probably somewhat annoying for both of them, but watching a mare in estrus trying to seduce a gelding who's REALLY not interested but trying to be nice about it is nothing if not hilarious
I have a question about spinning horses and why they do that. I just watched a video that had a horse spinning around ALOT and I've even asked A.I. about it and it only says that when a horse hears a loud noise, startled or in pain it does it as a flight reflex. What? How does spinning around get you away from a predator? Anyone have a reasonable explanation for this in the wild or maybe nature screwed something up when we domesticated them? Thanks.
>>5115763Spinning is a perfectly good trick to use in a life or death situation
>>5115763Spinning on the spot or circling the threat?
>>5115765Literally spinning for like a minute in the same spot.
>>5115764I am not Ran Yakumo though.
>>5115767I don't know if I' d
>>5115763can be so many things but my first guess would be some nerves issue/ intense pain or psychological trauma that fucked it up in some way. definitely something serious if it does it for minutes on full blast.
>>5115786Well yeah it is I was just wondering what the reasoning was for that kind of behavior in the response to noises or a predator. I can understand doing a 180 and sprinting away from the noise but just OMGWTF SPINSPINSPINSPIN doesn't seem like a logical response. I thought it was just retarded or something but when I looked it up it's actually a bad behavior that many of them do. Just wondering why that's all.
I got a job cleaning out stables. How are you supposed to fit in kissing each horse on the nose 100 times between stalls?
>>5115910in the industry we call this unpaid overtime
>>5110909A donkey bit my tit once. Not real hard or anything, but I felt teeth. She didn’t bite my nose off when she was snoofing my face though, so I consider it a victory.
>>5115994Anon that's a moob
>>5116018Call it what you will, she done bit it.
>>5115994Here, this is (You)
>>5116030Nuhuh! We were totally cool until then. I’m like 60% sure she was just being a stinker and seeing what she could get away with, but I don’t know jack about jennies. She may have been telling me to fuck off, but either way she was super gentle about it. I felt full teeth but she clearly didn’t want to hurt me. Could have easily bit my boob off.
>>5115910It's called loving your work
>>5110741They're friends.
Appealing horse sport
>>5116520Polo. Horse-soccer-golfhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TIKAG8D-bY
>>5116053>the charges, officer?makes you wonder what he got in the end
Guys you can find people who love dogs just as much as you on duolicious. I know this because I found one. :D
>>5117034Err, I mean horses.
>>5117023>tfw you get arrested and sentenced to one trillion years in prison for loving horses 1.365% more than the legally allowed acceptable amount
>>5117093https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_machine_(homosexuality_test)At elite stables they wire you up to one of these and show you horse pictures
https://www.tiktok.com/@ionutveltanu/video/7628894871364898070anyone speak gypsy? what are romanians feeding these boys?
>>5117113Wasn't this guy in a metal gear solid video?>normal videos>1k views>this one>100k
>>5117181So when an old man does it it's cute and wholesome and the whole village gets in on it but when I do it my dad sells the horse and I get in trouble
>>5117023Actually they had a doctor examine him and held him for 24 hours, then let him go. Archive.org is amazing. Same day, then ran a short bit about a guy named George Bush who taught a goat to roller skate, and was gonna have a little monkey ride on his back. Filler stories are the best.
>>5117113They start smashing horses!
>>5117197I guess they didn't have equine therapy back the day
>>5115544what in the cuthulhu are you saying.
>>5117181That old man gay married his horse?
>>5117113I find these examples funny on a technical level.Whenever I though this thread posted the absolute biggest one on this planet some other anon posts a similar sized or even bigger one.
>>5117244i doubt there are many others like this or bigger ones even... there are physical limits
>>5117197How old is George Bush?
>>5117231You have to be over 60 to legally marry a horse
>>5117248They'll eventually be so big they will collapse into a black hole
>>5117181>If a rich man tries to marry his horse he's 'eccentric' and 'quirky'>If a normal man tries to marry his horse he's a 'degenerate' and 'likes horses way too much'Yet another example of the growing class divide
>>5117305Class? Shouldn't you be talking about trannies or race instead?
>>5117230wtf thats an epic pic of the diving horse. Too bad the PETA retards said it was abusive. >>5117263>it's realhttps://collider.com/jerry-springer-show-i-married-a-horse-true-story/https://jerryspringer.fandom.com/wiki/I_Married_a_Horse>Jerry talks with three people who are in interspecies relationships: author Mark Matthews (George Willard) and his pony, Pixel; "Rebecca" with her dog "King"; and "Brad" with his dog "Lady." >Jerry's Final Thought "You can love and admire the beauty and grace of a horse, you can pet it, you can even bet on it. But if you're going to ride it, make sure you're up in the saddle."
