Horse GeneralIf you do not horse ITT your mother will die in her sleep tonight editionThread that didn't listen >>5108419
Just passing through, enjoy your horses
>>5119481>Thread that didn't listenAnon that thread was already over its limit. Literally nothing could have helped at that point.
>>5119576They turned him into a HORSE
Bet you cant guess what animal this is.
>>5119662IT'S PIKACHU
old man doto makes an overly excited neigh sound upon seeing a woman visit himhttps://x.com/yuzukosyo883/status/2048380822223479055
>>5119481I have horsed, please don't hurt my mommy.
I'm horsing to the maxI clean stalls until I lose my sense of identity.I wash my clothes in pure undiluted lavender oil.I'm drinking 7 liters of vinegar each day so I can disinfect their scurf with nothing but my own sweaty hands.I don't use fly spray. I kill every fly myself.Each day, I spend 2 hours in the pasture allogrooming with the horses. I stopped showering and now I use the extra time to contemplate the nature of horsekind.Every muck bucket is sent on a private jet to a lab in Shenzen to be analyzed for health issues.I've memorized every molecular compound horses are made of so I can synthesize their supplements myself.I have to re-geld my stallions every few years because they keep growing back.To automate countless hours of labor, I've trained them to kiss each other's noses.I forgot how to pronounce human words, so I can only communicate to the owners by writing on the wall.I WILL overhead press a horse if they don't lift their hoof within 4 seconds.If I did anything less I could not call myself a groom, and I would allow the countless concussions I've sustained over the past two days to take me to the next life.
Me if I got reincarnated
>>5120063that's what I keep saying. it's better to horse with purpose than to just horse around.
What's the best way to repent for having impure thoughts about horses?
>>5120403Sorry nonny, it’s over if you’ve [spoiler] wanted to hold horse hooves [/spoiler]
One of my customers had two horses at her ranch. I miss petting them and stuff. They were really nice. I'd let them out in the big pasture to graze sometimes. I named them Cloppy and Mittens. Idk what their real names were. Don't care.
Horses are cute and funny
>>5120493It's always nice when you see two bonded horses that share hay and/or snooze spots.
>>5120493That's my lock screen on my horse research computer
more and more airports are scanning hard drives for horse pictures
>>5120520Which ones? And what's the sentence for possession of oriental horse comics? Asking for a friend.
>>5120661I'm going to Japan soon on business and wanted some physical copies for my Big Safe of Horse Artifacts but the risk of getting stopped at the border and having to explain them is too high.
Does that weird little horse dance they do sometimes where they go in diagonals have a name?
Is neigher still acceptable lingo or is neigha preferred?
>>5121118I can think of at least three things that could be described that way
your ancestors
>>5121188how did the queen not die?
>>5121188>pagan indo europeans with religion: fucks a horse>christian indo europeans with religion: 2000 years of the worlds most bloody and pointless wars>native americans with religion: fucks a dog>east asians with religion: draws tentacle porn>turks with religion: fucks a boy>andient canaanites/hebrews with religion: throws a newborn into fires until they themselves admit their god destroyed their entire nation as punishment>modern canaanites/hebrews with religion: actively committing a genocide>arabs with religion: kills 300 million people and plunges most of the middle east and africa into a 2000 year dark age after islam drives the remaining intelligent people to europe>mesoamericans with religion: cannibal empires built on mountains of skullsReligion is pretty bad yeah but some people clearly did worse things with it than othersI dont think you can believe in something that isnt real and still function in reality as a rational actor with correct morality.
>>5121188The only source for irish horse fucking is a norman spy - giraldus cambrensis. The irish themselves never documented it. Not even a doodle. Its likely he copied and pasted indian culture like americans portrayed irish as africans to make them seem more savage. You are literally citing propaganda as history. Its not undeniable like human sacrifices in carthage. It’s literally made up to justify military action. >Ireland will have nuclear horses in two more weeks - giraldus cambrensis
>>5121219> The only source for irish horse fucking is a norman spy - [12th century Norman priest]. >The irish themselves never documented it... Its likely he copied and pasted indian cultureSo your competing theory for this being an Irish pre-Christian kingship ritual is that it’s sasenach propaganda and that the medieval Normans were familiar enough with a Vedic Hindu ritual to file off the serial numbers and use it to lie about the Irish? LMAONever mind that similar rituals are evidenced from intermediary IE cultures from Siberia to Spain, and it’s only that the Vedic and Irish versions survived beyond the classical era that make them notable, your alternative theory is bug nuts.
There is no ancient horsefucking conspiracy that's spanned across several millennia. There has never been a single recorded instance of a horse and a human engaging in sexual acts, and definitely not one involving high level government officials. In fact, horses don't even exist. Now if you could please look at this funny glowing red dot...
>>5121253>>5121253>the normans, with access to residual literature and spoken legends from med empires, would NEVER lie>you know what makes this truth? a 1000 year old account from another continent. >because somehow these hindi browns are the real europeansChristians lied about all of norse paganism. Most of what we have was made up by monks. Christians in the modern era even made up a lie about inuits fucking their dogs and it has never been corroborated by the inuits themselves - and dogs are biologically unfuckable. They die a month later from pyometra. So it’s really doubtful they would kill their working animals. Christians cant even tell the truth about their own religion and make up entire rules that aren’t even mentioned in the bible but can be deduced by analyzing word choices in distant parts of specific translationsChristians do in fact lie to justify what else they do (kill, steal, rape, convert) and they are liars by habit. It is extremely doubtful and most likely false that the irish kings engaged in ritual horse fucking. No primary source = ye olde propaganda.
>>5121268wtf I hate irish pagans now? if what you're saying is true, at least christians seem to have healthy fantasies
>>5121213Atheist commies and atheist french revolutionaries did all that with less time
>>5119481Kill yourself
>>5121268Thinking > No primary source = ye olde propaganda.Isn’t unreasonable.Thinking Giraldus Cambrensis knew what the Vedic Hindus were up to in 1190 AD and that he then used that knowledge to slander the Irish is insane.The Irish Kingship Ritual may be propaganda, but it wouldn’t be surprising if it wasn’t, because we know that earlier related cultures had been doing similar things for thousands of years. And there’s no evidence at all that Snorri Sturluson was a Christian with an axe to grind instead of someone recording the Poetic Edda as faithfully as it was possible for him to do. What it is important to remember is that the Skaldic Eddas were only a portion of Norse myth and that non-skalds would have approached the mythology and sacreds of Nordic paganism from a different angle. Skald was a position in a King’s Court, the worship and mythology of the smallfolk would have a different point of view than such a men of such high status and highly educated positions. As many dedications are found to gods with single line mentions in the Prose Edda as are found to the majority of gods who are common characters in the tales that have survived.
>>5121180The line is their whole body and they go from one to the other.
>>5119481*snorts you*
>>5121316hmm, do they go straight while switching between those or do they actually move diagonally and switch at the left and right edge of the movement?
>>5121318I wonder if a human has ever been killed because they got mistaken for grass
>>5121213>>arabs with religion: kills 300 millionPajet.....
>>5121268schizo reddit atheist post
>>5121424As if random chance could create the HORSE in an infinite void of eternities.
good hello horsegen, it has been a whileI have AQUIRED a new mare!!! Meet Gracie!!!
>>5121807looks like a very sweet girl
>>5121807>>5121812facts. but the most important trait of a horse can't be captured visually so you must tell us: how boopable is her nose?
>>5121807She's a fine horse, anon
Has anyone answered the question of why horses are so nice?
>>5121837They know their time on earth is too short to spend any of it in anger. We have so much to learn from horses.
>>5121807She looks soft
>>5121213Tentacle porn became popular in Japan because america imposed the anti-porn laws after ww2.>>5121219Anon they were pagans. Yes they were fucking horses then making him bathe in the soup and eat it. That's just what pagans do. >>5121263This.
Average horse groper
>>5121926>america imposed the anti-porn lawsMan, that is so backwards. Japan is an incredibly conservative country, they imposed their own porn laws.
>>5121928>not wearing his flowing flapping cloak>didn't blow the air horn to announce he was about to grab the horseFucking amateur.
>>5121928He's lucky the horse didn't obliterate him into his constituent atoms like what happened to this poor soul
>>5121928>>5121999>>5122009They're all dressed and equipped sort of similar. Is this a type of guy?
>>5121807B-big...
Why are they so big?
>>5122012That's one ugly horse. Remove it from the gene pool.
>>5122067for you
>>5122067They only grow big if someone believes in them. This little horse tries so hard but nobody believed. Maybe you could be the one?
>>5121819Extremely
>>5122126This is objectively the best angle you can photograph a horse. Literally any other opinion is factual WRONG.
>>5121945>imposedyou’re so kiked you don’t even know it
>>5122067They gotta be big to carry our sins.
>>5122140>They have to get 1% bigger every time you kiss them on the nose
>Liiliputians represent petty human conflict while houyhnhms represent the ideal rational existencehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houyhnhnmhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houyhnhnm
>>5122164>ideal humanity is horse
>>5122164So that is where being called a yahoo comes from. Based gulliver, rejecting humans and embracing horsekind instead.
>>5122179Whoops that's what I get for listening to google AI. Yahoo was contrasted with the horses, not the other thing.Naming a company Yahoo is like the restaurant Fugazzis (it means idiot in Italian or something)
I wonder why horses have been consistently seen as beautiful throughout history. I'm not saying they AREN'T, but considering their weird long faces and objectively freaks of nature body structure we realistically shouldn't. Is it literally just the fact that they are fine-limbed and have long flowy manes/tails?
>>5122199I'd say some of it is that we like round features. Cows, as an example, i find a million times less appealing and one reason is them just being square shaped.
>>5122199Horse magic.Basically they're not THAT noteworthy but they SUCCESSFULLY use their magic on us that tricks us into believing they're the absolute best (which they are)
>>5122199Probably because they have a lot of the same features people find appealing to the eye, but more of it. >long hair, muscular, graceful running, fun personalities, nice shiny short fur.
>>5122067The bigger a horse is the closer they are to the blessed form of the megamare, blessed be her mane
>>5122136t. retard
>>5122199There are things that signal genetic health more or less universally and are thus innately beautiful, like symmetry. Horses have an abundance of these signals, partly due to dual mate selection pressure (both males and, to a lesser extent, females get some say in who they mate with, and they prefer the healthier looking mates, and their eyesight lets them see these details keenly) and partly due to human breeding further bringing these traits out.
I've started going to church, using my time in solemn prayer to argue with God that he fucked up when I wasn't born a horse. There's nothing that can be done about it now, but I'm not letting that grumpy fuck forget it.
>>5122359Humans also bred wolves into pugs, I don't trust humans. Equines know what they are doing.
>>5122126giwtwmpov
>>5122366There's a difference between breeding for better traits vs having a defective rat utopia brain. Childless women using ugly abominations to miswire their own vulnerability/cuteness brain circuitry is the opposite of breeding for functionality and aesthetics (other than humans breeding horses to have weaker legs.)
>>5119481neigh
>>5122607Who's the lucky guy?
>>5122359>and their eyesight lets them see these details keenlyisn't their visual acuity pretty shite? I think it's more likely that there is a holistic aesthetic that transcends senses, i.e. that which looks beautiful also smells, feels, and sounds beautiful if you have the appropriate organs to detect it.
>>5122660Horgans
>>5122284that's a big mare
>>5122009>me when i see the mussy
>>5122661what the fuck is going there
>>5122813filming person almost got their minerals extracted
>>5122813Horsin around
>horse-sitting for a few days>dad asks where I'm gonna sleep>dad asks if humans can catch any diseases from horsesI don't blame him but i'm never talking to him again
>>5122849Don't let him in on horse spores
>>5122813Five Nights At Flehmen's gameplay
>>5122849>keep the barn door open
>>5122980
>>5122660>isn't their visual acuity pretty shite?It's either great or terrible, depending on what part of their field of vision your'e talking about and what you actually mean by acuity.
>>5123256how sharp/blurry you see things. the way I learned it was that humans are pretty top tier for that while e.g. prey species specialize in field of view and detecting motion, but don't need to see what exactly they're running away from.but it's been a long time so it might be outdated and/or I remember it wrong
>>5123271They made horse vision glasses you can try out. It's very green.
>>5123313when will they make horse vision glasses where I see everything as horses
what horse media do you dudes consume
>>5123333I guess answering "real life" is cheating. that aside, like 8-9 years ago there must have been a fad of making horse montages. I missed it at the time and it's neither the kind of music I usually listen to, nor the kind of horse I usually enjoy, but during corona I fell down that rabbit hole and I still revisit stuff like vidrel whenever I get reminded of ithttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEmp9gUH1jshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLjcxIOYWxshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCmritzlbWQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3824DvCOr4E
Is there a secret society of horse people trying to further the horse agenda? Like making horses a regular guy thing again?
>>5123414Yeah, it's called /mlp/.
>>5123414Horses are a regular guy thing in certain parts of the world. All you need is a horse that can take you there.
>>5123414why do you think they caused a gas crisis?
Opinions on massive mares?
>>5121118is that a salt block?
>HOLY SHIT STANDING IS AWESOME>LOOK MOM I CAN STAND
>>5123602the perfect lifeform
>>5123642Yes, they taste like minerals.
>>5123729me in the middle
>>5123602Massive muscly mares are the most beautiful creatures to ever exist and their presence on planet earth is proof that God does in fact love us.
Old lady Wind in Her Hair was given a little gift package for mother's day since everyone views her as the mama of the stables
Me calmly waiting for better times.
>>5123854Very cute mareDeserves lots of pets and smoochas.
>>5123986she is a very cute old lady. I get attached to older animals very easily, it's very nice to see people be so caring and loving to them so late in their lives. she's like 100 in horse years, but still seems very healthy and energetic. There are videos of people visiting her and she's always very kind and happy to see them, or she'll ask them for butt scratches.
>>5123602People look so goofy on large AND small horses
>>5124038if I was that horse I'd be so fucking pissed about the unskilled idiot on my back
>>5124039I wanna learn. What did he do wrong? Aside from letting a toddler pick out his outfit?
>>5124035i love it when old horses get those caves behind their eyes. idk it's just endearing to me. old horse eye bowls.
>>5123980>Hey ladies! Wanna see a cool trick?
What's this thread's thoughts on HorseGiirl?
>>5124324sorry I don't waste my time on literal who attentionwhorses
>>5124324>my barn my rules>farmcoreShe's irreplaceable and I love her
How accurate is this description of horse expressions?I have zero experience in the matter and was curious.
>>5124475There's a lot more to reading a horse's mood, but it's perfectly accurate.
>>5124475it's alright.as the other anon already said, theres a ton more like reading the entire face too (for example tensed nostrils when pissed in combination with the pinned ears) or hectic movements. horses have a really fluid smooth movement when relaxed and when it's erratic and not smooth then something's up
>>5124324That's really difficult to look at
>>5124076Horse's trainer did something wrong, rearing like that is dangerous and potentially even fatal to both horse and rider>>5124475
>>5124475it's cute when they turn one ear back, but sometimes I wonder if that's just a "yeah, I hear you, but I know what I'm doing" signal
Quirky things you've seen horses enjoy?
>>5119481What's the point of horses? They stand around, they eat and shit and you can ride them giving you horrible balls and ass painYou can't play with s horse like you would a dog or a cat or a bird
>>5125173>What's the point of horses?>you can ride themin more ways than one
>>5125173Horsing around with them, of course.
>>5125173they exist to be our friends
>>5125173>You can't play with s horse like you would a dogI've definitely played with a horse. Not like a dog, but still.
>>5125173What's the point of dogs? They run around, they eat and shit and you can't even ride themYou can't play with a dog like you would a horseWhat's the point of cats? They lounge around, they eat and shit and you can't even ride themYou can't play with a cat like you would a horseWhat's the point of birds? They fly around, they eat and shit and you can't even ride themYou can't play with a bird like you would a horse
>What the point of boats? Why White people use trash cans?
>>5125294with benefits
>>5125406to mental health
>>5125173>What's the point of horses?sex>>5125312>What's the point of dogs?sex>>5125358>What the point of boats?sex
>>5125173They're construction workers, obviously. Webm related>>5125406>that boopBlue board, anon!
>>5125593I say this and I look like this
>>5123762Ok R Crumb.>>5125407>Deleted for having a h*man f*maleToday jannies were based.
Morning munch
>>5125945>woke up 10 minutes before that to go look at horsesand I thought I was early... I've seen it before, but is there a reason why some wear a halter outside but most do not?
>>5126072All four off them do. They are hot blooded hannoverans, so you gotta be able to catch them.
>>5123980Hey that seems like a funny picture any idea where I can find the source? ^^
>>5126761what do you mean by source? it's probably just a picture somebody took at some point
>>5126761It's just a horse standing upright. Nothing to see here.
>horse lessons>teacher is overbearing>frequently assumes I'm doing something completely opposite based on my smallest movements>tells me exactly what behavior her horses think is creepy>in other words, what she thinks is creepy>secretly using the horse lessons as normie lessons so one day I can pass as one of them
>>5122849based dad
>>5126964Reject norniedom. Embrace being a horse enthusiast.
>>5126980that's against the rules!
>>5126980I, too, love normal equines.
>>5122849Why didn't you say stallions are quick shots? Then show him a peer reviewed study.
>>5127291Hmmm would there be any peer reviewd study about stallions- average ejaculation time?
>>5127354Scroll down and there's a table where scientists measured the reproductive behavior of stallions. I wonder if they had a few people with clickers counting everything. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51256982_Reproductive_behavior_of_the_stallion
>>5127362>“Voyeur” Effect. For reasons not well understood, slow breed-ers seem to benefit from exposure to breeding activity of other horses.A slow novice stallion placed in a stall within sight of the breedingarea may show immediate marked improvement (Kenney, personalcommunication). Similarly, bringing another stallion to the breedingarea may lead to almost reflexively spontaneous sexual arousal andresponse in a previously disinterested stallion.get in the cuck stall
>>5127381>tfw you'll never be a stallion belly-slapping in your cuckstall while the true stallions breed all the mares. Why to continue even?
>>5126980This is gonna get deleted before the coyote troll thread does
What is a horse?
>>5127581The builders of human civilization.
>>5127581some kind of fruit that doesn't exist, I think.
>>5127608>>5127601Like a horse apple kinda? I heard they came from space or something.
>>5127617sounds delicious, where can you buy some horse apples?
>>5127581Megafauna
Why do horses sometimes shut down with eyes open?
>>5127825
>>5127825For the same reason humans shut down with their eyes open when faced with the beauty of horses
Quit horsing around
>>5127837
>>5123333Videos of my own horses or horses I know personally. I've tried watching other people's stuff but it rarely holds my interest, it's not like they suck or anything, it just feels like being a guest at someone's house and looking at their family scrapbook. The only exception really would be foal pictures and videos, those lil niggas are fucking adorable.
Going to the horse store. What do you all want?
>>5127820Here have this one for free. A horse apple is actually an osage orange, but that may just be the horses obfuscating the truth to keep them all for themselves.
What horses consider play, monkeys consider business. Always do horse business.
>>5128123Horses with jobs. Horse jobs for all.
>>5128124a horsejob, you say?
>>5128215Well... You would need to take the courses for horses first.
>>5127921what about horseradish?
>>5128220You tell me.
>>5128226Excellent content
>>5128316the lone maretooth stands tall despite the aeons passed
What the FUCK are they wearing
>>5128402Fly masks
>>5128404Oh, well I hope it helps. The cows a bit further were covered in flies and it looked uncomfortable. Thanks anon.
>>5128405You can go to them
>>5128402they are beekeepers, it's an important horsejob
>>512831640 years?
>>5128402These make me feel incredibly uncomfortable when I see them because I keep imagine how it must be when that thing isn't sitting right and instead of keeping all those flying shits away it actually just TRAPS them right on the horse's eyes
>>5128442That's why you have to talk to your horses regularly.
>>5128442I think they are fine and well looked after, they had a bunch of horses on the farm and it seems like those were the only ones with the hood.
>>5128404If I pull them off, will they die?
>>5119481leave my mommy alone
>>5120063chonkse
>>5120403what did you just said
>>5120450yes
don't post slop
>>5120661it's time for an investigation
>>5121318blep
>>5122067whu are YOU so smol
>>5124324
>>5127581this
>>5128559are you posting something relevant with this post?
>>5128606
>>5128606himehorse
my brother horsed oncenow he's neigh
>>5128792He's a neigher now?
Horses often look so deebly goncerned
>>5128806They have a lot to be concerned about.
>>5119481what are the difference between the species of Asian wild asses like kulan, onager, kiang, etc.? They all look the same to me.
>>5129052So you're saying all asians look the same to you? Unbelievable.
>>5129052probably just subspecies. they'd look different to you if you put them next to each other (bigger/smaller), which is the main reason kiang are considered a seperate species currently, but genetically the evidence for that does not seem to be that strong https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0174216>Our dataset reveals events of past and recent mitochondrial introgression between populations that are now considered separate species, such as kiang (E. kiang), or subspecies, such as onager (E. h. onager) and kulan (E. h. kulan). Poor genetic differentiation between kiangs and dziggetais (E. h. hemionus) has also been observed in a microsatellite study of equid diversity involving a smaller sample size (6 kiangs and 3 dziggetais), indicating that our observation is not a peculiarity of the mitogenome transmission. We believe it may be more appropriate to consider the kiang as a distinct population or perhaps even a metapopulation of E. hemionus, with specific adaptations to the high-altitude climate and vegetation of the Tibetan plateau.>The designation of onagers and kulans as separate evolutionary significant units has been questioned. Among the three clades that had representatives in Iran during the last 8,000 years, the I clade remained centered in Iran and is the prevalent clade in present-day onagers; the CI clade shows a cline towards the Caucasus, where the corresponding population is now extinct, and the TI clade shows a cline towards Turkmenistan. All three clades coexisted in the past at a single location near present-day Tehran (Sagzabad, 3,500 years ago), and members of these clades are still interbreeding, showing that these clades do not define true diverging allopatric lineages. Currently, Iranian and Turkmen wild asses kept in the Hai-Bar Yotveta reserve in Israel are reported to interbreed and hybrids thrive without showing signs of outbreeding depression.
>>5128606nerd
>>5129114It's Yamakatsu Ace, and he can't help it if his owners gave him that stupid haircut! Poor guy
What games let you interact deeply with horses?
>>5129145The game that I want to make!someday...
>>5129145rdr2, but honestly no single game scratches the horse itch
>>5129145fernhoof grove will fix horse games forever. trust the plan
>>5129188>gender: geldingwhat’s next, pronouns?
>>5129145skyrim with mods
>>5129145Besti
don't look at the penisdon't look at the penisdon't look at the penisfuck
>>5119481Horse
>>5129280too late
>>5129268Isn't that abandoned
>some of the most majestic and beautiful animals on the entire planet>stare at the hanging flesh tube like some apeI seriously do not understand you guys.
>>5129369would you rather we post mare pussy on this christian minecraft server
>>5129371Anon, they have beautiful heads. The face is up there.
>>5128789
>>5128806deebly goncerned
>>5129280
>>5129545urara-chan... i miss her...
>>5129582"It is better to try and pet a horse and get bitten, than to have never tried to pet the horse at all."- Genghis Khan
>>5129590>t.
>>5129612that horse clearly told him to fuck off, I bet multiple times prior as well and unc has the audacity to act surprised
>>5129612>The scrap of cloth following himHorses have strange and worrying powers.
>>5129664I find it interesting how horses communicate with their body motions. When everything is fine it's always super smooth... kinda like you'd imagine a smooth and soft sinus curve. When shit gets real it's like suddenly turning into edgy triangles and noise!
>>5129755that's a great way to put it
Just back from Japan on business. I seen physical Japanese horse comics in one of those tax free stores. Didn't get it because I didn't want to get stopped at customs and explain the artistic merits of it to border control. Seen some horses and plenty of deer over there but they couldn't understand me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rpDQ1WtfNMIf a foal clacks at you do you need to communicate with them that you are not a horse to save them in the long term?
Is this good enough
>>5119481I need to impress a girl tomorrow when I go with her to a stable. Please tell me everything I need to know about interacting with horses to avoid looking bad.t. anon who has never even seen a horse before
>>5130151remember to stand behind them and make a lot of noise
>>5130151Look into that woman's eyes and tell her that you really love horse beans. That will impress her.
>>5130151>>5130153https://youtube.com/watch?v=evxxbmNwbME
>>5130151If there are other horses you'll want to mostly ignore them beyond an acknowledging glance.When you get to her horse you can treat them like a dog at first: if they're curious hold out your hand and let them sniff you, they may take a few more seconds than actual dogsbooping noses is more of an advanced move, but scratchies at the base of the mane or behind the ears are almost universally appreciated
>>5130151It's the size of a car and get scared by gerbils
>>5130204I'll add, regarding scratchies, remember they aren't made of glass. Get really in there with your fingertips. That gives a higher chance of getting nuzzled back.
>>5130327I get your point, but you'd probably be even less likely to hurt a glass horse with your scratchies than a real horse. glass is pretty hard after all
>>5130407get him out of this whack ass crystal prison
>>5130151Only date horsegirls if you're fine with the fact that you will always be second place for them
The visit to the stable went well. Her horse seemed to like me. When it was just us two for a bit he would just kind of nibble at my shoulder and then rest his head on it.>>5130204>>5130327This worked well, he liked when I was just rubbing at the base of his mane.>>5130412It's ok, she's easily worth it.
>>5130412the trick is to make the horsegirl afraid of being only second place for you
>>5130452Guys get the better end of the deal anyways.
>>5130412>>5130452>>5130459in the end the horse always wins
>>5128806I don't know why but this is really fucking funny
>>5130421Good job! You achieved your first step to horse friendship.
>>5130546Very cute Dalmatian
>>5130567I like the shoes
>>5130151Your goal is to impress the mare, forget the human women
>>5130539Horses are inherently funny.
>>5130596But what if she has a stallion...
>>5129145Planet Zoo has Przewalski's horse, the Somali wild ass, and zebras. Planet Zoo 2 later this year will presumably have them as well.
>>5130604and cute
>>5130606common etiquette call for a reach around
>>5130606She gets a stallion, you get a mare, everybody's happy
>>5130669Did you find that from >>>/mlp/43277059
>>5130678ridiculous assumption. literally no one from here browses the forbidden board.
>>5130669Do you really have to do all that prep work for horse soup?
got my horse cloppy a big bag of oats i hope he likes em
I swear this is not the fist time I've heard of a female horse owner injuring competitor horses.>>>/pol/536219793
Nvm she wasnt a competitor, she was a "horse stalker" lol.
>>5130997She just loved them so much she wanted to own their lives or something
>>5130878very nice
Wind in Her Hair passes a former triple crown winner's record in age the same day one of her great grandchildren won a big race in japan placing them 1 more win away from being a triple crown winner themselves
>>5130878That bag of oats is far too big for a single horse to consume. It needs to be distributed equally amongst all the farm animals.
bleeeeehhh
>>5131230
>>5131161I hope they're nice to her
>>5131312she seems to be well taken care of, she's got lots of energy for being over 35
>>5131230>>5131231Only bleplords allowed in this thread
horse tongues look so pristine and and simple like stylized comic/cartoon tongues
>>5131353>>5131231>>5131230Delicious
>>5131361That looks very unsanitary
>>5131317It's always nice to see racehorses given the retirement they deserve. I have never met an OTTB that I didn't like.
>>5130452found on /fit/
>>5131368Horse mouths are actually completely sterile. You can kiss them all day without worries
>>5131529Old tired titty bitch?
I found a random horse and I fed it an appleare they safe for horses? I see this horse every time I go jogging at night
>>5131650and from tonight, I jumped into its paddock, called it and fed it 2 appleshttps://files.catbox.moe/jfcn41.mp4
>>5131361Horse: WTF U DOING?!>>5131652Based criminal horse friendship achiever
>>5131650>>5131652I mean apparently you meant well but I if I was the owner of that horse and I saw you jumping I'd fucking flip my shit.Horse owners absolutely hate seeing randoms feed their horses because randoms usually don't know shit and usually feed horses shit they shouldn't be eating.Jumping a fence is pretty much always a sign the random guy is batshit insane and has absolutely no right to be anywhere near my horses.If you're in Burgerland then you might even get shot for entering private property at night so watch the fuck out.The best way to avoid trouble is at daytime going up to the fence touch snoot, say a couple nice things to the horse and move on.
>>5131674>touch snootthat's rather generous. I'd train my horses to CHOMP literally anyone going near them.
>>5129263Please furnish us with more info
>>5129106The range of the Somali Wild Ass used to stretch into West Asia
>>5131674This man is unwilling to take risk to pet the horse (though people might assume something different)
>>5131779literally all people would assume that especially when you do it at night.
>>5131650You are definitely that horse's favorite person and I'm super jelly despite the ethics
where does one go to ethically meet a horse though?
>>5131826Apply for a travel visa to horseland.
>>5131829https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nz-Ecywn1rU
>>5131866the logo art style reminds me of that horse walter sache draws
>>5131826It's impossible to ethically meet a horse because the horse in incapable of consenting to the meeting
>>5131899I think this might actually be real wisdom
>>5119481https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCzwyFHSMdY
>>5131353
>>5131361but why
>>5131674I won't jump over the fence anymore. I'll call it and if it comes feed it if he wants to eat apples, just wondering if they're safe for them.Apparently my family has a lot of left overs bread and they're for that horse, but I looked it up and bread isn't that good for them, but apples are okay. So when I go jogging I will bring an apple with me, if he comes and wants it, he eats it, if he doesn't, I'll eat it. No more criminal stuff. As for the bread, I'll make sure my family knows the bread isn't that good for them and bring it once in a while.
>>5132006Might as well ask the owner and say you give it apples sometimes when jogging. Definitely seems like a lonely or curiis horse if it runs right up to you at night.Bread is junk food for animals just like people. Birds not used to people don't even know bread is food lol.
>>5132013Yeah I know the owner, he used to be friends with one uncle who passed away like 20 years ago. He's a good dude. I'll ask him if it's okay before giving the horse more apples. I also don't give it apples every day I go jogging because I don't want it to think humans = apple dispensers.
>>5132018blow gently into his nostrils so he knows that you're a cool guy
>>5132018That changes things you're not going into a random field. Seems kinda urban.>>5132084Why do you keep saying this? Wouldn't it piss them off?
>>5132198>Why do you keep saying this? Wouldn't it piss them off?from my understanding, it can be a good thing or a bad thing and it's highly dependent on how they feel about you
>>5132198There's literally a video of a guy blowing into the horse nose and the horse is gaining understanding from it.
>>5132198it's a small town, I know the owner but I didn't know it was his horse til recently.Today I gave it two apples, but didn't jump over the fence or anything weird.
>>5132326Ah also for the record, I live in EU. So I don't think I'll get shot.
>>5132326It's quite a funny situation. Horse seems very friendly.
>>5132468He's my pal now. The horse is at the start of my jogging route, so I put an apple in a pocket and I feed it before running.
>>5132597Heck yeah you should learn to ride it. I'm sure the owner has a saddle.
>>5132599No, don't be retarded. I'm a random, I am not gonna try to ride a horse that isn't mine. First of all, it can stress the horse, second of all, I might get hurt but I don't care about that. I don't want to stress the horse, mostly. I never rode one, though. I did ride an elephant lol.
>>5132547too small
>>5132601I'm not saying hop on, ask the owner.
>>5132607Ah, we don't really have a relationship, he knew my uncle who passed away like 20 years ago, he knows who I am, but we don't really know each other. At the end of the day I just care about that horse's wellbeing, I'll feed it and move on. I'd love to ride it, but I don't want to stress the horse, he's a friend now.
>>5132611Pretty simple you said you jog by it and give it apples and want to ride it. IDK why you think riding is stressing it unless it's a long or you're fat.
*it's oldI guess all horses have long bodies lol
>>5132614That horse might be 2m tall, with its face up, I'm 193cm. I do want to ride it. I'm not fat, I'm rather skinny but strong. Thing is, I don't know much about horses, and I don't know if the owner rides it either, so if I try to ride it and I'm the first person trying it, it might be weird for it. If any expert here says it's ok to ride it, I'll try it.Safety was never a concern for me, and I ignore the law. My only concern is the horse's well-being.
>>5132619Oh also, if I manage to ride it, I'll post a webm or a clip here.
>>5132619Pretty tall. Horse probably needs training and will let you know you're too heavy.
Hung out with an old mare today. If I neigh my cards right I'll see her and her friends a lot more soon.
>>5132678Are you building a marem of outstanding old mares?
>>5132826I'm building an army.
>>5132865You son-of-a-bitch... I'm in!
>>5132882You can horse with me anytime.
