On another poverty walk
Nyaa nyaa agoraphobia's gone Turned into a constant fixation and obsession into being kidnappedFear turned into fetishBut it's still on my mind constantly Oh well
This is the long road referred to in the pink floyd song high hopes
>>944041910
More long roadThere's causeways too
Da town
>>944041830Finland or Estonia or one of the Euro countries I assume
>>944042018Yea it's small town far out finland
Pic from a few weeks ago it's the library but wanted to show cuz it's pretty cool I was told it was in some Japanese architecture magazine
Cozy gloom
When are you getting naked?
>>944042162Maybe when I get home idkWish I had the horny drive to get naked while out in a public bathroom or smth but I dunno.I'd probably need to be kidnapped and loaded up with aphrodisiacs for that
Peoole tell me Finland is cold but honestly doesn't look too bad if the water on the ground hasn't frozen
>>944042214It's a relatively mild winter I kinda enjoy it really
>>944042203will you at least tell us what kind of panties you're wearing? g-string? boyshort? commando?
>>944042214That's from salt, tard.
Mm tuna sectionIt'd be fun if tuna worked as an aphrodisiac
>>944041830Hii :3
>>944042241I never really wear underwear lol unless it's part of getting horny in an outfit and even then almost never
Lol they sell takis now
>>944042277Disappointing
>>944042354Maybe but it's more convenient Sorry
>>944041940Nice that there is a place to walk.
>>944042369more convenient for what? quickies?
>>944042303skip em, taki's are subpar
>>944042382Yea I guess north america is a bit more hit and miss for this kinda stuff tho this place finland is a rather stroady country too>>944042391Sure I suppose tho never had sex lolAlso all I bought was doritos and Redbull lol
Ahh graffitiDidn't even notice the swastika lol
Love gas stations There's pizza too
>>944042480do you consider yourself pretty?
The long road againAnd strategic anti-abduction barrier between road and pedestrian road If you're about to be abducted and you're out in the middle of nowhere the best bet is to run straight into the forest lol especially if you got the nimble advantage
>>944042525why do you want to get abducted?
>>944042505It varies. I do got a wicked lazy borderline blind eye tho it's kinda upsetting and stuff>>944042544I had a lot of run-ins with these worries and stuff. I've kinda been in questionable behaviours that led me to worry. When I was 19 pretty sure i got catfished and stuff and I kept getting into more weird things in my naive and eager mindset and then i got some self awareness and I delved into the FBI hyperaware empath rabbit holeBut now since I've lost myself in a protracted psychosis that lasted all these years I've emerged out the other side insanely bold and fearless but possibly reckless
I do instantaneous analysis on stuff like car engine RPM activity and unusual car stops lol
>>944042525its easy to find you so genuinely be careful with these posts
>>944042502This is early afternoon? So dim...
YEAH!
>>944042611>possibly recklessYou are posting details of your commute, your town, your walking direction and where you shop for junk food.Stop, just please stop
>>944042659I'm long past the point of concern even though I was real scared of it for years.But now it's a fucking fetish and point of autistic analytical fixation. Like a game An FBI time critical situation wargaming game.I'm mentally FBI
>>944042525Footprints tho.
>>944042685You'd have a point if I lived in a small midwest town in the USHere? Not so much
I fucking love the moonI'm a total moonie keeper of the moon
Outside the frameIs what we're leaving out
Beautiful.
God living in Kainuu is just so fucking depressing regardless of season.
>>944042806duck://player/3e1gkynGXXMTheme song
>>944042847Yeah summers kinda upset me cuz the sun doesn't go below the horizon more than 1 degree.I really miss the nightAnd now I gotta keep getting up by noon to enjoy the little amount of daylight lol
I want a new mistake Lose is more than hesitate
I know this sounds cringe but I fantasize and dream about being FBI and working on time critical rescue operations
Show us your face
TITS OR GTFO
All my jackets are FBI coded
>>944042978Finnish Bureau of Impregnation?
>>944043036Lol sureOrFeisty Boi IncarnateNah but for real I've always wanted to be a glowie
>>944042999I'm trans btw
>>944042661It says 8am in the filename dumbass but yes it's very dark now at 4pm.
I really need to do a real FBI cosplayShould I look for one of those blueish jackets with the logo at the backIs it legal to wear thoseI kinda prefer the greenish colour
>>944043112Honestly just get a 5.11 platr carrier and order some FBI patches on etsy
>>944041830that jaw alone gives out the fact that you`re a man no matter how much you hide the rest of your face
>>944043139Hmm, yeah, maybe. I'll work on it.This style suits me as much as the latex harness sissy slave style tbqh.
show the benis
>>944042480>overall chill af personality from what I can see>implied girlfailure with crippling fears/fetishes>fingernail length is proof to me you're struggling with the minimalI can fix her. shame I'm currently already being hero complex for someone else, so I couldn't.. but I could. you seem like the type of person I would attach hard onto and be a good friend, until I ultimately fall for you because I can't be platonic with females.
>>944043176Would still bang TBH and I don't even live far from there.
>>944041830
>>944043275Lol, cheersI'm planning on becoming an FBI savant who's a fuckup bdsm sex slave on their free time>>944043276Lol cool
>>944043382I'd make you wear nothing but lace g strings even on walks to the store and then show me whenever I asked
I've had bizarre saviour fantasies since like 5th grade One day after school I was walking to my sisters place and I just had this vivid fantasy of walking into a classmate being molested and I'd like call the police and be a fuckin heroI'm insane
>>944042837agree>>944042978kek, apply yourself and get in somehow one day, then in like 8 years drop a cryptic 4chan post proving you got in>>944043056>>944043082grody. oh well, the fantasy was nice while it lasted lmao>>944043176bruh I've been bamboozled so many times I didn't notice T-T
Im a perfectionist
Hey kat can i come over to kuhmo and be your pet?
>>944043435That's not insane that's admirable, just don't do anything to actually endanger anyone
>>944043382more power to you, though a massive amount of my interest plummeted through the fuckin floor once I read you're trans kekmotherfucker, you couldn't just be a biological female and help a homie out with a simple yearning fantasy? shhhiiiiieeeeeeettt
>>944043455Looks cozy
YOU'RE PERFECT YES IT'S TRUE
>>944043479lmao lol, it's fine, i'm past the whole being upset by this guys losing their interest stuff but it's cool>>944043471um, we're really on the same sine wave phase so it doesn't work out, know what i mean? i'm a pet too so pets can't have pets lol.>>944043478yeah, gotcha.
>>944043471Fuck me I'd love to do that too :3
>>944043495names of the extremely old plushies? I don't really care, it's just I'm pretty sure I'm slightly autistic or something cause I instinctively thought about how they'd most likely have names if they're that old and gross looking and still kept after all this time so they must be important and have names. idkbrains are fuckin dumb, yo
>>944043540You can be my pet if you want.
>>944043562They are called the Tikru
>>944043540Okay :c but if you do find an owner take me with you so we can be pets together :3
>>944043540I get you. I'm at that point myself with my own shit I deal with. I just accept that it's likely not gonna change and I'm cool with that, but I'll keep trying every now and then. oh well. good that you don't let it get to you though. I hope you can find someone one day that can go the kinky distance with you and your fetishes. merry christmas, fag ;)
Best version of the song
>>944043607>They are called the Tikrunigga they have a fuckin entity name instead of individual names? wtf that's honestly weird af but lowkey cool af too lmao
I wanna work on missing persons cases.I feel it to be my calling
>>944043382>Doxxer wants join FBIYou would fit in. Go ahead.
Me behavioural analysis expertise centers namely on fetishistic and predatory behaviour. Long-term kidnapping fantasies and stalker behaviour that follows a long timeline of fixation and planning.
>>944043690how short are you?
>>944043868Police academy is probably the first place you could apply. From there you could move on to specialize.
Since we're feeling so anesthetizedIn our comfort zoneReminds me of the second timeThat I followed you homeWe're running out of alibisOn the second of mayReminds me of the summertimeOn this winters daySee you at the bitter end
>>944043868go to school, major in psych, specifically forensic psych if you can
>>944043945>GAY d(>w<)tru
>>944043917Maybe, I'll have to look into it. The United States of America is probably a better place for this kinda stuff. It's more of a hot zone. Idk about the current status of things in Finland. Idk where to begin really.>>944043962I already dropped out of university twice but the second time around I was minoring in psychology. Though in all these years I've developed a robust understanding of psychological mechanisms.
>>944044015>Idk where to begin really.Use brain use google.
>>944043868show butt in those panties
>>944044038Idk if POLAMK is my path though it is the only way in Finland.
>>944044015>The United States of America is probably a better place for this kinda stuff.I don't think it's easy for foreigners unless you have an excellent work history and good feedback from bosses or a very successful level of education and good feedback from teachers. If you have a high-quality CV for show by all means send them an application.
>>944044147Go for it you have to start somewhere
OK so I live in Kainuu and would like to get to know you. Can I contact you anywhere?
>>944044175Yeah, I know it's tricky as fuck with all this stuff.Maybe I'm on some secret Psycho Savant list for instant recruitment and ready to enter the brawl at a moment's notice.
>>944044211You are a psychopath? You should forget everything I advised you.
Maybe I'm going a bit too far with this energy drink rush episode
>>944044241Just take your meds
>>944044238No, I'm really using as a term for high determination mentally disturbed gifted NEET thing. I do have a lot of issues though that'd make me being employed with police stuff troublesome, but I'm depressed and have seen a lot of depressing stuff and I feel like I could bring closure to people that need it.
>>944044207I dunno if it's a good idea. I'm inherently distrustful and afraid of people despite my paradoxical behaviour. Posting like this is just an outlet, but I appreciate the thought. Maybe we can mull it out in this thread a bit though.
>>944044296the avoidant being avoidant lmao
>>944044269What? Your entire message gives the impression that they would never hire you.
>>944044269https://www.drugs.com/olanzapine.html
>>944044409Yeah, I know that drug I got plenty of those but fundamentally I just don't believe in the dopamine hypothesis of psychosis. Besides, it's the functional opposite of adderall and I feel like I have ADHD and the literal opposite of olanzapine would actually help me be more functional. Antipsychotics just aren't it.>>944044345Yeah, I guess. I'm really just a mental fuckup with wild fantasies that's all.>>944044352I guess that's really the case in the end.Well, the rush was fun while it lasted.
>>944044296OK that's totally understandable. Though it would be cool to get to know you, it's better to play it safe when it comes to getting to know anons.
>>944044456Yeah, I'm sorry. But I'm here, posting my dumb fuckup threads here more often than not, so.
>>944044472no, hyvää joulua
Tiger song
>>944044449I hope you were joking about the whole getting job from FBI thing.
>>944044489hyvvaa joulluu joo.>>944044502just another short-sighted fantasy of mine in my fucked up CIA mind
>>944044472Sure, I'll be posting on these threads from now on if I see them.Ja hyvää joulua tosiaankin
>>944044489no, on mul session puhelimella jos tiiat sen niin ehka vois dropata ton session ID:n mutta tavata en kylla uskaltais
>>944044574Hei mihin sun Ä:ät katosi?
Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were youngIn a world of magnets and miraclesOur thoughts strayed constantly and without boundaryThe ringing of the division bell had begunAlong the Long Road and on down the CausewayDo they still meet there by the CutThere was a ragged band that followed in our footstepsRunning before time took our dreams awayLeaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the groundTo a life consumed by slow decayThe grass was greenerThe light was brighterWith friends surroundedThe nights of wonder
>>944044613on vaan englanti ja japani keyboard kaytossa kun suomikeyboardin layout sekoittaa liikaa
>>944044640Näyttää huonolta googlaus käännökseltä
>>944044574No ei tarvi ehkä kuitenkaan tavata. Olis vähän liikaa vielä ehkä tässä vaiheessa.
>>944044667joo o pitais kylla olla 100% singulariteetti meno jos google kaantaja pystyis tuottaa tallasta suomen tekstiikunnon sala CIA kieli huh huh
Melancholic High Hopes end solo postI wish I wasn't so deeply afraid of people and even then, when I'd give out my contact info I'd never be enough for the person. I'm a neurotic shut-in afraid of people only capable of posting behind the veil of 4chan because I like people. I'm just afraid to get any closer.
I'm just that interesting. I had a good friend a few years ago before I drove him away permanently in my mental illness episode. An observer relationship, where we don't really expect anything from each other. We're just there.A tacit deep level of understanding. No expectations. Just there for the ride.
>>944044750>I'm just that interestingMeant to say "not that interesting"Though it's a bit of a lie, I have a fucked up interesting world view I guess. I understand that many are interested in me but I just can't really reciprocate anything. I'm a perpetual riding shotgun melancholic companion that's all.
>>944044750I understand your friend. You're not a very likable person.
>>944044750different person, but ill talk with you05af2ca8982ccc9d5447a26d896aa9ef53839bc48194c4d688e3e7d17b664bd60f
>>944044809Maybe, idk what I'm after but generally speaking I enjoy talking to people here. I hope he's doing okay though but I regret the way I drove him away and basically demanded him to block me and leave me forever. In all those years of knowing each other I had never let that emotional fucked up side of myself through and then it happened. It was all gone. Que the next over 2 years losing my shit on 4chan that culminated just recently.
i remember having to walk for groceries with food stamps card a few years ago, no money for bus and the nearest groceries store was a stinky fine and fair about 3 km (about 2 miles) away. no cart, had to carry everything home so i'd have to be careful about weight. a few times i got too much weight and hurt my shoulders. went through multiple holidays like this. I can't say that i miss it or the ill mental health it took for me to be unemployed for so long.
>>944041830Get back into your Finnish insane asylum, you worthless tranny.
>>944041885no one is going to kidnap a gross faggot like you.
>>944044722you can cure being a shut in by exposure, just doing a bit more every day or so. even a small gain works wonders. trusting people will take time a few good people in between and/or therapy. typing from the other side, it can get better
>>944044848The furry one? He once dropped in your thread, spilled beans and he was generally disgusted how are you behaving these days. I haven't seen him since.
>>944044848I'm glad that you still have somewhere where to talk about your issues. Having no friends awful state to live in and finding friends in Kainuu (especially where you live) even without mental health issues is next to impossible.
>>944044928Yeah, you're right, I get what you mean. Idk what to do with this constant 4chan back and forth though. I kinda don't even wanna leave. My life feels like that Kindergarten song by Faith No More. I used to have lots of derealization episodes where the world feels like it speeds up and it sounds just like those bits in that song.>>944044931Uh, no, I don't think so. The friends I had were all very intelligent and thoughtful, I doubt they'd want to intervene in my threads.>>944044973Yup, that's kinda how it is. 4chan is a godsend despite all its flaws. A safe place for a fuckup like me.
In a way, my fuckup life and 4chan posts feels like some kinda protracted art project of mine. Cataloguing my life here. And I'm kinda afraid of one day it ending and having to leave. It's paradoxical, I spent over 2 years freaking out having a mental episode wanting to leave. But in reality, I don't really wanna leave. I don't really want to move on.>Return to my own vomit like a dog>Rhymes and giggles muffle the dialogue>Carve my initials in a tree, I will never leave>Maybe one day I'll be royalty
Are you saying youre a sick puppy and want to stay sick?
>>944045177I'm more of a feline.And I dunno how to answer that. I view myself as my spot being at the low rung of society. A perpetual melancholy but there's beauty at the bottom that I can't ever give up because fundamentally, it's me.It ties up with my fucked up BDSM obsession too.
>>944045141Shit, how long have you been posting these threads here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2lS-6e_6Fo
>>944043340
>>944045213The pictures you posted of the walk are beautiful. You have a nice eye. Cozy
>>944045141It's amazing how this site let you post here after what you did for 2 years shitposting.
>>944045213Give us a taste of your obsession im curious
>>944045294Yeah, I've been into photography since middle school and wherever I go I can't stop taking photos.>>944045267A very, very long time.
>>944041830Why call it a poverty walk?
>>944045443He larps poor
>>944045314Doesn't feel quite safe rn but piss is a lot of fun and uh, stuff.>>944045443It just is.
>>944043340sauce me up homie
>>944043471Not OP obviously but what kind of pet were you thinking? I'm curious about the details
>>944045374>A very, very long time.Jesus that's fucking sad to hear. I haven't had any significant mental health issues and being alone for a decade was still an awful experience.
>>944045600This place has just become an integral part of me. I don't mind.Jerry Cantrell rules btw
Homely, thick in mind, never listenWorn, tired, siren drawn, tunnel visionDon't forget this chance only live onceSprung, hypnotized by light, had to get someGet it allShe said I forgive youDon't regret our timeYou've got to move on loveAngel eyesFour years and still I dreamAgonizeSuch beauty not since seen
I guess I have a fetish for brooding in melancholic gloom angst.
>>944045761Really that sounds like the only way to cope in your current state.
>about to make another /b/ thread>Would? starts playingINTO THE FLOOD AGAIN>>944045796Thanks, lol, I guess people are starting to understand.
>>944041830Are you having a merry Merry Christmas?
>>944041830That's a man
Another year Canada is safe! Let's make another year!#KeepCanadaSafeFromKat
I know the pics I post are fucked up and condemnable but my entire mental life is just the way it is.>>944045852I suppose, consider this deconstruction thread of mine a christmas gift.god bless layne staley
[Alice in Chains - Rotten Apple]
>>944045838Sympathy from a stranger might not be that much, but I hope it brightens your day at least a little bit.
>>944045945Can you ask your mom to clean up our room?
>>944045958It means quite a lot, I think.Idk how to explain it but my entire being has become part of the very essence of grime and filth.
>>944045982Usually part of the hikky/rotta/maksuhäiriö lifestyle really
>>944045982And I am really glad it makes you feel better.
>>944046030Yeah, but I wouldn't really have it any other way. I don't like sterile clean places.>>944045852Yup, ty.No Excuses (moar alice in chains) is a great song for this feeling
another mentally ill degenerate faggot what a surprise
Cant suffer in binland..
Yeah, it's fineWe'll walk down the lineLeave our rain, a coldTrade for warm sunshineYou my friendI will defendAnd if we change, well ILove you anyway
everything i make is fucked up in some form lmaoalso Pearl Jam - Even Flow is about a homeless guy taking a piss while savant CIA world view visions glimpse through his mind
>>944046119OP also made irl bomb thread
>>944041830Elemental is how I feel about myself coincidental enough.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTYhH72fVscthe bass is so fucking good in this chorus though (1:00)
>>944046172>everything i make is fucked up in some form lmaoSure can relate to that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDL5jXAyygEthe guitar sounds like a cat in this to melove it when that happens
Did you lose your faith in God, no?Does your conscience always get you down?Fall to pieces, rough and tumbleDoes your conscience always get you down?These days it's all in the mindIt's elementalDon't say you're up when you're downIt's elemental
>>944041830prostituting yourself?
>>944046829Nah, but I'm sure I'd find a way to make that into some bizarre form of art as well
>>944046172"Thoughts arrive like butterflies.But he don't know, so he chases them away"
>>944046897Yup"A Pleasure" by The Railway Children is also one good song that I like a lotIt's a pleasure
>>944043633Thank you (forgot to reply)
Oh yeah and Merry Christmas obviouslyI gotta figure out now what kinda angsty dirty grunge shit I'll get down with next.
Had a really good time posting with you hereHope I'll see you in another bread.
>>944047560Yeah, this thread was alright. Kinda started feeling melancholic again though. I kinda need these threads, really. (Disintegration (the cure) just started playing now too, never really listened to this song other than once before)
>>944047607Fuck off poseur.
>>944047705Yeah, I'm bad at listening to new songs. It's always a leap for me.
>>944047738No, you're a fake tranny. Cut it off.
>>944047972Sure I guessI'm just glad I'm no longer constantly spiraling real bad and losing it constantly and giving myself more brain damage in doing so
I wish I could find a defenseless fag walking alone on Christmas. I'd rape him and keep him in my spare bedroom.
>>944048101You're also faking mental illness. You piece of shit dataminer.
>>944048140You don't make any sense
poverty walk as in you don't have a car or as in you're poor and homeless?
>>944048165That's a direct quote you stole from me. The FBI has been informed of you stealing my identity. Enjoy jail.
>>944044623Love the Tarja/Nightwish cover they did on the End of an Era tour.
>>944048188Low socioeconomic status in the poorest region of the country with dismal social and employment opportunities stuck on disability welfare in an internal world full of mental grime.
>>944048229Ah, cool I guess>>944048262I don't listen to Finnish music a lot other than some of J. Karjalainen (Villeja lupiineja is one of the best songs of all time) and Eppu Normaali, some of Kolmas Nainen. Juice Leskinen too.I'm really into classic Finnish rock I guess.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGdb5egf48QI'm pretty sure I had to listen to this song at least once every day when I was like 5.
>>944042303I do not like Takis. Don't buy into the hype.
I regret my endless Finland hate of the past 2 years.
>>944048329I discovered Nightwish 20 years or so. Friend of mine introduced them to me with the words: "They're everything that Evanescence are trying to be". In a completely unrelated turn of events I ended up moving to Finland and marrying a Finn.
>>944048407Why, this is some of the weakest posting on the whole site.
>>944048447I've never really listened to Nightwish lol it's kinda weird that I haven't
My dumb ass mental turbulence vacillating ambivalence the feeling of emptiness.
My mind is still utter chaos and always will be.I wake up in some kinda vague sense of dysphoria.Worried I got some fucked up brain disorder that's gonna kill me before I'm 40 or something.Even if I had some kinda active life surrounded by people, idk, be on stage.The feeling would still be the same.When the show is over and everything's quiet, the quiet is so piercing and lonely.That's why I keep making threads to make the quiet go away for a while.
like that song "New Dawn Fades"
Tragic avoidant existence.
I lock myself away behind so many locks lolMaybe one day I'll come out (I probably won't)
>>944048542Every so often I look at German music from my era and think "huh, weird, never heard that one"
>>944049211I got a lot of unease over this phenomenon. Like, I'm missing out on so much, there's so much stuff out there and so much of it slips away right underneath and you never notice. It fucks me up how much stuff goes unnoticed
