Homeless ‘Johnny Neptune’ jailed in alleged and wacky Dunkin’ Donuts extortion caper.You could bet, oh, dollars to doughnuts that the harebrained scheme was never going to work. But it did involve doughnuts and, had it been successful, it would have netted its mastermind at least $1,000.The caper, which has to be one of the most half-witted extortion efforts ever concocted in these parts, involved a homeless man known as “Johnny Neptune.”His real name is Andrew Lawrence McGovern.He was jailed earlier this week for allegedly trying to bilk a local Dunkin’ Donuts proprietor out of $1,000.Authorities say McGovern was threatening to sue the doughnut man and two of his employees for $250,000 if the shop owner didn’t fork over a grand in real dough.What’s more, the reason behind it all was a cracked cellphone. Or so McGovern claimed.McGovern, 53, has been locked up at the Bibb County jail 11 times for charges that include harassing communications, trespassing and contempt of court, records show. He filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in 1996 and appears to have lived in Macon most of his life.On Monday, a Bibb sheriff’s deputy was dispatched to the Dunkin’ Donuts on Forsyth Street near the hospital in downtown Macon.There, Krishna Patel told the deputy that McGovern had been “harassing his employees and his business” at another Dunkin’ location on Tom Hill Sr. Boulevard since March 6, a sheriff’s report said.McGovern’s outlandish claims revolved around him supposedly leaving a cellphone at that establishment, where, according to him, its screen was busted.Patel, 41, told the deputy that McGovern had stalked him and “slandered his race,” and also enlisted a lawyer to sue Patel about the phone.
HOW I GOT ARRESTED (and had the case dismissed) OVER A BROKEN SMARTPHONE............firstly, I LOVE TELLING THIS STORY™............secondly, in my life I have appeared in many different newspapers for my murals I painted, and I have discovered THEY ALWAYS GET AT LEAST ONE DETAIL WRONG IN EVERY NEWSPAPER ARTICLE For example, in this newspaper article from Memphis tennessee, they incorrectly say I dropped out of high school Wrong.... I NEVER WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL AT ALLAt age 16 I was already living as man and wife with my 36-year-old registered nurse girlfriend named Joy I never 'dropped out' at all ... But the newspaper reporter included that error And I will point out the errors in the dunkin' donuts newspaper article as well
ALSO: I will focus on TELLING THE ACTUAL TRUE STORY ABOUT MY ARREST, meaning I'm not going to stop and answer or reply to anybody's comments Okay.... So back on March 4th, 2017 my wife and I went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered two Large Mocha Swirl coffees...While we were sitting at our table, I had my large screen smartphone laying on the table in front of me, and I had turned towards my wife and we were talking about a cute blonde girl sitting outside on the patio...When I turned to grab my phone off the table, IT WAS GONE!!I looked up, and there was a STUPID NIGGER GIRL (not the manager but the alleged shift leader wearing the dunkin' donuts uniform) walking to the counter with my phone in her hand I jumped up and said "YOU TOOK MY FUCKING PHONE!" and she handed my phone to another stupid greasy nigger girl working behind the counter Then the jive ass stupid monkey nigger shift leader shook her head back and forth in that typical nigger style and "I AINT GOT YO PHONE"and I told my wife "CALL 911"
>>947310455Is this an old story, anon? I remember hearing about Johnny Neptune years ago.
>>947310455Idiot
>>947310642This is a 100% TRUE STORY that occured in March 2017One year after my wife and I quit doing hard drugs(we still smoke weed)
So my wife called the sheriff's department and the responding deputy was a pseudo-friend of oursHe shopped at STORMYS VAPORS vape shop, and that's where we all got to know each other... Deputy Mobs is his name
>>947310455No one cares you washed up, junkie, dumb ass, schizophrenic loser.
>>947310779Lol @ you not getting ANY pussyno blowjobsno anal sexnot even a handjobHahahahahahaYou're a child (according to all 4 billion women on earth)
>>947310779So while Deputy Mobs was talking with us out in front of the Dunkin donuts, the stupid nigger girl behind the counter got scared and SHE RAN UNTO THE MEN'S BATHROOMand she came running back out about 5 seconds laterI told Deputy Mobs "I think I know where my phone is" and I went into the bathroom to discover it in the bottom of the garbage can with the bag of garbage placed back over itBUT THE SCREEN WAS NOW SMASHED
>>947310779Hahahahaha @ women considering you less than half a man
So.... I had my phone back WITH A SMASHED SCREEN and for some reason, Deputy Mobs didn't arrest the nigger employeesHe told me "it's a civil matter" (it wasn't)
>>947310718You ever get high and jack off, Boombadoop?
>>947310455>>947310512>>947310638Buncha nonsense
So that was March 4th 2017for the next 2 weeks I tried reasoning with the eastern Indian franchise owner, Mr. PatelBut he refused to even listen... "You got your phone back" he said it over and over and over "you got your phone back""BUT YOUR EMPLOYEE SHATTERED THE SCREEN TO MY PHONE"I started off being very professional and polite and courteous, but as each day passed, he continued being a dick, and I finally reached the point where I BEGAN INSULTING EASTERN INDIANS(pay attention: the REAL reason I was arrested was because my insults to eastern indians)I told him "considering how you filthy animals bathe and brush your teeth in the Ganges River with ROTTING CORPSES floating past you, it's easy to understand why you paint little red targets between your eyes"And THAT pissed him off(Also, I didn't realize his brother was a lieutenant at the sheriff's department)
By the way, the newspaper apprticle was riddled with errorsit said I "left my phone in the restaurant" which is total bullshitIt said I spent most of my life in that shithole macon, when that's completely fucking wrong I spent most of my life in Buckhead Atlanta(My wife and I were in Macon because my mother was dying)And they never even mentioned I started using the pseudonym 'johnny NEPTUNE' for my professional art career beginning at age 12 when I was commissioned to illustrate a magazine cover)Mr. Patel understood my reasoningHe was full of shit.And again:EVERY newspaper article contains at least one error
TWO MORE ERRORS:the article said I was asking $1,000 to replace the smashed screenAnd It said I was asking for $250,000 punitive damagesGuess what?Phone screens don't cost $1,000it was ONLY ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS to fix the screenAnd small claims court doesn't handle $250,000 casesthe limit was $25,000see what they did?they added a ZERO to each numberto make it seem 'whacky"they literally ADDED ZEROES to make it sound juicier
>>947311104Why you talk to the owner, you had gotten your phone back.
On March 17th, 2017 I had finally had enough of SCUMBAG EASTERN INDIAN PATEL AND HIS STUPID GREASY NIGGER EMPLOYEESso I texted him "I'm taking you to small claims court. I'm asking $100 for the screen, and $25,000 punitive damages"
>>947311333That would make it $25,100 and beyond the scope of small claims court.
>>947311316WHY THE JUDGE TOSSED THE CASE OUT OF COURT:because there was no crime committedANYBODY can be arrestedbut being convicted requires evidence It turns out on the way to the courthouse, I had a weird gut feeling (I should've paid attention to it) I told my wife, "I think maybe I should discuss this with a lawyer first" which I didOne block away from the courthouse was Dozier Law FirmI conferred with an attorney named DAVID DORER, showed him my phone, explained the entire story, and asked him "is it legal to offer not to pursue civil litigation in exchange for repairing my phones screen?"David said "YES.... it's totally legal"so now I foolishly felt confident, and I walked across the street to the courthouse and wrote out an informal agreement not to litigate
>>947311489Ooops I accidentally typed March 17thMy bad it was the 20th I did a brain fart
I sent him a text with the photo of the agreement, telling him "I'm at the courthouse"about 3 or 4 minutes later I heard a voice behind me say "put your hands behind your back"And I was arrested for: ATTEMPTING TO COMMIT A FELONYyep..... that's a charge.... ATTEMPTING
>>947311489>picture of paper written by myselfYou honor! Here is my evidence!
>>947310455A quick google says this mfer is real, still doesn't mean op isn't a schizo obsessed with him who never actually met the guy
>>947311540Correction: BASIC FELONYyou in fact DO NOT have a gaming chairyou in fact ARE a passive aggressive coward
>>947311489Hehe this is felony conduct though!!
By the way Arron Paul (Jesse from breaking bad) got a big kick out of the story....I painted an Elvis portrait for him
>>947311547I never said that was the evidence I said there wasn't any evidence No evidence of an actual crime being committed PLUS THE JUDGE MENTIONED I WENT TO AN ATTORNEY BEFOREHAND TO VERIFY IF WHAT I WAS DOING WAS LEGAL OR NOT You're not very good at paying attention That explains your lack of job and girlfriend You're just basically a lump sitting in that chair FascinatingGo play another video game, little boy
>>947311540Why send him any agreement, you already gotten your phone back, sir.
it turns out GOING TO THE LAW OFFICE AND ASKING THE ATTORNEY IF IT WAS LEGAL removed any criminal intent The judge threw the case out of court And commissioned to me to paint a portrait for him, then two other people from the solicitor's office also paid me to paint some art for them I ended up making some friends down at the courthouse AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY NO WOMAN WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU
>>947311564How you doing passive-aggressive sissy boy ?How's the 'letting people wipe their feet on you then wanting to lash out in anger afterwards like a little girl' thing going for you?
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I literally LOVE telling this story about the dunkin' donuts incident But I didn't get enough yet today SO I'M GOING TO CREATE FOUR MORE THREADS ABOUT IT TODAY Today there will be a total of five threads about the Dunkin donuts incident Because I love talking about it
>>947311712you gonna find out, faggot
>>947311732YOU SHOULD TELL THAT TO THE MANAGER AT MCDONALD'S WHILE YOU'RE FILLING OUT A JOB APPLICATION TODAY YOU'RE NOT YOUR MOTHER'S RESPONSIBILITY ANYMORE, LITTLE BOY
>>947311731How well did that ZZ Top comic sell? Was it widely distributed?
>>947311744I'd rather paint murals nobody cares about and shitpost on imageboards.
We never did the comic book. That was just a pitch.. I ended up getting hired as there are director and doing their logos Being flown around the country and hobnobbing with celebrities and record label executives and staying in the finest hotels, being driven around by chauffeurs and having the record executives call me "Mr Neptune"HOW'S YOUR JOB APPLICATION IN MCDONALD'S WORKING OUT SO FAR? HOW'S THE MASTURBATION THING WORKING FOR YOU, ROMEO? DO YOU INTEND ON REMAINING A STUNTED LITTLE TODDLER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
>>947311802Oops speech to text typo sorry I'm getting dressed and getting ready to go out and feed some stray cats I GOT HIRED AS THEIR ART DIRECTOR*
>>947311823So your comic basically sucked?
>>947311760my son literally became a millionaire at age 25BURGER KING IS ALSO HIRING
>>947311871Wasn't there a point your son would move in with a rich gay guy, and live with him while making t-shirts?
Logfags are at it again.
>>947310718>(we still smoke weed)Hope it ain't that juiced crap these dispensaries peddle these days, or the street junk that dealers peddle these days.
>>947311893I see your butt hurt that he became a millionaire while you're still sitting in that stupid fucking chair playing video games like a little girl Jealousy doesn't look good on you, but then again, according to all four billion women on planet earth, nothing looks good on you
>>947312131I notice you didn't call it a lie, just answer the question. Was sucking dick your son's McDonald's job stage in life?
Lol @ Jet firing Sam
>>947312232Most series tank at season 5.
>>947312265Now that Sam is gone, the ratings are going to improve greatly
No offense or anything, because not everybody can be born to be funny But Sam was never funny, not even for a few minutes Can't say I've ever seen Sam do or say anything that could be even vaguely confused with humor
And I'm not insulting Sam I'M NOT FUNNY EITHER I'VE NEVER BEEN A FUNNY PERSON So I'm not insulting Sam when I say He's never been funny And now jet is free too explore his own creative ideas without Sam breathing down the back of his neck And Sam is free to go fill out a job application at Arby's
ONE LITTLE PROBLEM: I'm absolutely 100% unequivocally convinced BAM is still doing drugs, because I'm a former drug user myself, and I know exactly what to look for I've been clean for 10 years Other than smoking a little weed here and there with my wife, but no hard drugs for 10 years I'M ABSOLUTELY 100% POSITIVE BAM IS DOING DRUGS IN THE HOUSE And I think jet needs to drug test himYou should tell them it's for insurance purposes, and everybody has to take drug test including bam With no warning Spontaneous Surprise drug test for everybody And I am absolutely certain Bam would test positive
bro you're clearly methed out on here right now rattling off reply after reply to your own threadhttps://youtu.be/o3X1bTGsOyQ
>>947312394Hardly, he was their only semi celeb. I only heard about it and watched the first season and second one for Sam Hyde.
>>947312430Compared to anyone else in Fish Tank, including Jet, Sam is a regular Rodney Dangerfield.
>>947312522Yeah, get rid of Sam, then get rid of Bam who is the only other reason people watch the show.
