I am delusional.
>>950852591I am so fucking sick of this poser bitch, she's fucking EVERYWHERE
>>950852784What's wrong, anon?
>>950852812not that anon, but sometimes we need delusion to cope with reality for a little while
>>950852591how are you delusional OP?
>>950853943>>950854102Sometimes I am paranoid and think that I'm being gangstalked. I've had weird experiences were I could communicate mentally with people, and they would reply to me using their voices normally.I'm pretty much schizophrenic delusions wise. Never heard voices or had hallucinations tho.
>>950854193ouch, that's hard OP. Beats my untreated autism by a mile
>>950854193at least you have nice taste in women
>>950854238With medication I still have delusions, but I can sort of live with them. It makes life pretty interesting, beats being a boring normal person.>autismI might have that too (which would explain why I love it here), but too functional for anyone to diagnose and care about that
>>950854339Thank you <3
>>950854359my autism isn't probably that bad, my folks either didn't have me diagnosed or kept it a secret because of when I grew up and how they were raised.
>>950854423>because of when I grew up and how they were raised.That's totally relatable.My parents are poor baby boomers who grew up on the country side, and I think they confuse mental illness with personality traits
>>950854499mine were a little older, but back in their day neurodivergent people were usually locked up in asylums.Add to that when I grew autists were sent to special ed with people with really severe issues.
>>950854601>were sent to special ed with people with really severe issues.And we both could have been sent there if we weren't functional.
>>950854601>>950854740>AlsoYou can post your pictures btw. Sorry for being mean to you the other day.
>>950854740in my case functional means being able to get good grades and accomplish tasks. I have a hard time connecting to people and I could never find a life partner, but at least I can function in capitalism
>>950854804it's okay, I'm a somewhat grown adult. I need to learn how to take criticism graciously
>>950854826>functional means being able to get good grades and accomplish tasks.That's what I meant.It sucks. At least you have a job. I wish I had one, for the money of course.
>>950854898>I need to learn how to take criticism graciouslyI wouldn't call what I did as "criticism". More like uncalled and free hate.
>>950854913sadly I never made enough to get too far away from my parents, now we're both at the age where we can't leave each other>>950854961it's okay, I have think skin and learned to take the hate
>>950855037I missed this
>>950855109when you get past my shell I like to think I'm a caring, compassionate person.
>>950855165>I like to think I'm a caring, compassionate person.When the walls fall... That's what you are.
>>950855278and when you say stuff like that you make me think of pic
>>950855562<3
>>950854193"schizophrenia" literally just means "thinking differently" in latin.There are a lot of specific neurological malfunctions categorized under the term. i, myself, am unsure as to the extent of voices or hallucinations i've experienced. i frequently have unpleasant memories or negative opinions of myself stuck in my head. Never in the form of a phantom voice that seems audible, only ever just remembering things i'd rather not. Visual aberrations are more rare for me but i'm not entirely sure they're hallucinatory. For example, i recall walking through a jobsite looking for a ladder and seeing one in a closet, through a window from the main hallway. Upon entering the room the closet door was actually closed but the ladder inside was exactly as i had seen it. i couldn't have seen it, of course, with the door closed. But i did see it and it was actually there.i am also aware that a common symptom of schizophrenia is delusions of grandeur, Schizophrenics often believe themselves to be vastly more intelligent or more aware than the people around them. i know this intellectually but at the same time my normal daily life experience repeatedly demonstrates that i am surrounded by people who lack what i would consider to be even a cursory understanding of physics. As per the Dunning Kruger effect i am unable to delineate precisely how much of the gap is my intelligence and how much is their stupidity. As much as my ego would like to believe i am THAT intelligent i know that it is statistically highly unlikely. However the idea that i am normal and so many people around me are THAT stupid is frankly just depressing.
>>950855731I know you want to feel loved, and if things were different I'd hope I could have been the person to make you feel that way
>>950855816I found the experiences you had relatable, especially the negative thoughts and ladder thing>>950855931I just need to keep an open mind and accept you and your love.
>>950856013>I just need to keep an open mind and accept you and your love.same with me. I just want you to feel safe and be able to be open with your wants and desires
>>950856112>and be able to be open with your wants and desiresAnd end up being mean to you again?No, that's not the way
>>950856183>And end up being mean to you again?>No, that's not the wayyes, that is the way. I can take the abuse, I can take the pain. If it means you don't have to hurt I can take it
>>950856288Careful: I might take advantage of your love.I'm a deeply flowed person.
>>950856183and it's okay for you to set boundaries and say no to me
>>950856494maybe I want to be taken advantage of and submit to your kind of love
>>950856494>FlowedMeant flawed*The irony in that haha>>950856497>>950856636Maybe I want you to hurt me too from time to time
Worth avoiding like a disease.
>>950856722>Maybe I want you to hurt me too from time to timeyou know I don't like the idea of doing that. But if I have to hurt you I can make sure it is a good pain
>>950857062It's fine anon :)Just /b/ee yourself.
>>950857209just let me be tender every once in a while
>>950857272At the right time, but not now.Pain just struck me and I might start acting weird and/or rude.
>>950857394it's okay, do what you need to do
>>950857394just remember anon-kyn. YOU. ARE. MINE
>>950858029>YOU. ARE. MINEYes!
