She's not as monster as I thought, though I still worry.
>>23867896:Dbut be careful, goni think a lot of young people look at relationships like "okay, there are horrible lows, but are they worth the high points?"older/wiser people tend to just think "how low are the lows?", and if the lows ever get bad enough, they no longer tolerate the relationshipsometimes that's the only unbiased way to look at it when u have strong feelings: "how bad do things get?"not "are the bad things worth the good things?"just keep that in mind, don't let the good parts sway you into putting up with horrible behavior
>>23867901Thank you for the encouragement. The lows so far is using suicide as a way of adjusting my behaviour but I just recently found out she is shy to actually speak her mind because she cares about my opinion. Not sure if that's a red flag but it explains the lack of more than a couple of word replies that I thought was bitchyness.Anyway thanks again for the perspective!
>>23867926>I just recently found out she is shy to actually speak her mind because she cares about my opinion. Not sure if that's a red flag but it explains the lack of more than a couple of word replies that I thought was bitchyness.nah that seems fairly common, and it's good you found outhopefully that can be worked aroundthings like that can usually be worked around, as long as both people have good intentions & are upfront about itif she explained herself, that's a good sign>using suicide as a way of adjusting my behaviourthis is a lot more concerning, thoughi think that's almost on the level of physical abuse to be honest, a lot of people wouldn't tolerate that even onceit is up to you, just please don't end up too committed or in over your head
the problem isn't even the amount of harm/damage when she "used suicide to adjust behavior", the problem is that she has the PROCLIVITY to do something like that in the first placesame as it would be with an act of violencethe problem might not even be that the person hit you, it might not have been very badthe problem is that the person even has the proclivity to be violent in the first placeit's hard to explain...
that being said, i don't know what the best advice might be, or what i would do in your positioni forgot to mention, but congrats on getting this far also, proud of u
>congrats on getting this farwith her & the relationship, i mean
>>23867932>>23867937>>23867938>>23867940All wise words. I'm already reserved with my feelings but am not showing her that. I hope she's not violent, that would be a real buzzkill and would probably end the relationship immediately. I think a lot of the problems I perceived where down to misunderstandings and instead of bitching about what I perceive as a red flag I need to bring it up with her and hear why she is doing something. I still don't feel like I've met the real her but I'm sure in time she'll be more relaxed and less cautious. I just hope she is a nice person when she finally comes out of her shell.Thank you again for your insights, they help a lot!
