i cant lie, planning and attempting suicide as a young teen due to my horrible psychotic episodes that made me have delusions about the governments being cartoonishly evil and kidnapping and eating babies and being in danger of evil men who'd want to kidnap and rape and torture me, coming out of those episodes deeply damaged, having to heal from them while trying to ward off future episodes, and then finding out now that actually it was all fucking real and true isnt doing wonders for my mental health! :') if i didnt have people who relied on me i'd probably just end it desu. i can feel my brain cracking and i know that means another episode is gonna come if im not careful and idk if i have the strength to fight it
Looks like destroying America is a solution to your problems
>>23953646>>23954015kys retarded white freaks
>>23953646anon it'll be alright, dont let the media demoralization work on you...i had a SUPER schizo episode last night myself and thought i was being psychically attacked and then the voices wanted to reinforce that it was realthere are plenty of ways to identify this stuff and make it less of a trigger if you're interested in talking about it but you're probs sleeping, hopefully
>>23953646>delusions about the governments being cartoonishly evil and kidnapping and eating babiesthese are still delusions, none of it actually happened
>>23954016Based DT
>>23953646wtf are you on about. just play a hentai game and forget your woes.
>>23953646yeah i feel youit's all the more reason to take things seriously & continue to take care of yourself, though, the way i see it>>23954015dumb>>23954016dumb>>23956181dumb
>>23956161i have learnt pretty well how to identify stuff. my hallucinations have been frequent recently too and i just feel so dissociated and helpless and keep having strong urges to hurt myself severely.. im still in reality though thankfully. not sleeping though, my sleep schedule is fucked, im getting drunk :) im sorry you're experiencing similar stuff, its fuckin exhausting >>23956248thats true.. i've been trying my hardest to keep up with taking my meds and eating and general self care stuff. distracting myself from the world and my thoughts when i can instead of rotting in bed doom scrolling. everything is bleak right now.
>>23956254there is a guy on this board who has been through a lot as wellhe has two birds he takes care of, apparently it gives him enough drive to get out of bed consistentlyidk if that would work for you, i'd be worried about neglecting pets, the responsibility scares meit's a thought, though>>23956254>i've been trying my hardest to keep up with taking my meds and eating and general self care stuff. distracting myself from the world and my thoughts when i can instead of rotting in bed doom scrolling. everything is bleak right now.yedefinitely don't doomscrollu gotta learn to recognize when you're using your computer/phone the way a boomer would use a TV remote, if that makes sense, and avoid thatcomputers can be useful tools, but if they're just appliances you passively look into, then they do more harm than good & they're hostile machines in your house
>>23956270i have some a kitty.. she's an old lady. honestly i dont know what i'd do if i ever lost her. shes a big reason i stay alive too. shes the sweetest little thing, grumpy but loves to cuddle me and sit in my lap, purrs like a motorbike and drools when you pet her extra good>computers can be useful tools, but if they're just appliances you passively look into, then they do more harm than good & they're hostile machines in your houseits frustrating.. i have a very bad physical condition that leaves me almost constantly housebound, sometimes bedbound. my phone/computer is the only access i have to the outside world.. to loved ones and interests and passions. even playing video games puts me in a lot of physical pain and exhaustion. i mostly watch youtube and avoid evil apps that just tell me horrible world news but it gets so dull. sorry for rambling lol. i am doing my best to avoid things though.. its just a lot to avoid. its just everywhere right now.
>>23956254yeah its a tough place to be in and have been there too, i used to drink a lot to cope with it and other things too......finally made my peace and am able to deal with the ups/downs in a better way, even without meds and such toothe issues are still there, that doesnt go away but i've had the time to figure out better coping strategieshopefully it'll settle at some point for you and not be so visceral ...its a tough one but possibleare your hallucinations auditory or visual? or both?
>>23956447visual. mostly bugs, shadow figures of animals and people. also some tactile ones. i feel bugs on my skin a lot or hands on me. i only really have mild auditory ones when im in an actual episode
>>23956350*hug*>sorry for rambling lol. i am doing my best to avoid things though.. its just a lot to avoid. its just everywhere right now.it's okthey're doing a pretty damn good job of making it seem like it's everywhere, but there are pockets where people are just doing their thing & focusing on shared interests, even on the internetyoutube is always good, but the industrially-produced slop lately is un-watchable, and the search/recommendation are unusable tooit can be hard to find decent non-dystopian videos if you don't already have a list of channels to watch
i wish i had better advice than "just keep actively looking around on the internet", housebound sounds very frustrating>>23956350>i have some a kitty.. she's an old lady. honestly i dont know what i'd do if i ever lost her. shes a big reason i stay alive too. shes the sweetest little thing, grumpy but loves to cuddle me and sit in my lap, purrs like a motorbike and drools when you pet her extra goodhehei have an aunt whose an anonymous author, none of us know what books she wrote but she apparently has a good amount of money from itshe's very solitary, she stays in an apartment with two cats
>>23956474ive definitely curated the perfect ipad kid youtube feed lmao, i love minecraft videos and horror movie reviews and deep dives in obscure stuff :3>>23956482it is but ive been like this for many years so its okay, i just keep going like i always do. your aunts life sound like my dream.. i'd love to publish my writing so much
>>23956462same same, i'll for sure (for sure) see people and then turn my head and they aren't there and plenty of auditory, 'they' use my tinnitus to form a voiceyou know in songs/music they'll distort a voice or use sounds to make it sound like someone is saying something? its like that...a lot, and it conveys tone of a voice too...like how you can hear if someone is angry with you in their voice>tactile sensationsi uh....struggle with this one greatly and dont know how to justify it other than demons are real and they're fucking with methere have been some unexplainable things....but i try assure myself its my crazy paranoid self
>>23956690im drunk rn so idc about sounding schizo, i stg there are cameras and microphones and speakers in my bedroom. ive been so very aware of of everything since i was little, i hear small voices coming from the plug socket in my room.. theyre like hundreds of people whispering all at once. and i can just fucking feel eyes on me all the time. ive learned to stop caring. im being watched probably but i dont care anymore. the hands on me.. idk they feel dirty. make me feel violated. i try to convince myself its just being psycho too but god its fucking hard
>>23956727>im drunk rn so idc about sounding schizogood good, im not but dont care what people think of mei am a schizo and it kinda makes things more interesting now that im a bit indifferent to its effects like 'oh not this shit again' lole!>voices, whispering, eyes, being watched, mic's, speakers, violatedso anon, i've had this wild theory since i was young that maybe people like you and I are actually not crazy but connected to the higher wavelengths of existencesimilar to you i've had these sensations since very young, and a connection to what feels like the earths energy, collective consciousness, and strange energies i've been able to hear those whispers you're talking about...sometimes in the right conditions it sounded faintly like a large gathering of people (party) happening near me...but faint, in the distancethat might even explain why all these things feel so real and true not that anyone would understand any of that unless they experienced it themselves so it comes off as schizo and crazy....even then, if its real and true, its still a conundrum on how to deal with it due to the lack of understanding
>>23956760ive thought that a lot. people always say "what if people who are schizo or take drugs are actually seeing real things" and that always resonated with me. and who says it isnt real?? just because other people arent experiencing it? i am, i experience it, does that not count for something?? i relate so much to what you're saying. ive felt connected to so many types of "otherness".. i dont know what i am but i know im not just some normal girl who's a little crazy. changelings, starseeds, indigo children. i feel and experience too much for it to be just some fuck up in my brain. do u have discord or something..? i feel like this threat will inevitably invite people who dont get it and want to fuck with us
>>23956842>i feel and experience too much for it to be just some fuck up in my brainright....trying to use words to effectively describe it feels so limiting but its hard to write off all of my senses off as schizo (but i kinda do)....but i do get how it would appear that way to anyone who didnt actually experience it>i feel like this threat will inevitably invite people who dont get it and want to fuck with usi take most things as a joke on here so they cant really get to me, many have tried, all have failed but i get thats not how it works for everyone>discordi dont really use disc but if you drop yours i could hit you up tomorrow, gotta get ready for bed...work tomorrow :I
