Hi guys. A while ago I made that thread about why autistic men should support one another. Honestly, letting all of those thoughts out of me felt great. Can we get another autistic man love thread going? That would make me feel really good. I'm going to ask some questions and, if you feel ready, you can let it all out.Questions:1. What is your relationship with your parents like?2. What is your relationship with your siblings like?3. Are there any fictional characters that feel important to you?4. Have you tried using more mainstream autism sites like Wrong Planet or the autism subreddits? What was that like?5. Are you a furry? Be careful when posting images. They might get you banned.6. Are you a virgin? If not, how did you lose your virginity? What did it feel like?7. Autistic people, statistically, suffer from police brutality, imprisonment and homelessness more than non-autists and we also die from both murder and suicide more than normal people. Do you ever think about that and wonder if you are next?8. Were you bullied in school?9. Do you have nervous habits that are hard to break?10. Have you ever struggled against thoughts of suicide? Did you ever attempt to end it all? How do you hold on to an appreciation for life now?
My Answers:1. My biological father is a controlling religious fundie and also a lazy deadbeat. My mom divorced him when I was still just a kid. I haven't spoken to him in years. My dad insists that autism isn't real and that "big pharma" made it up but my Mom thinks that my Dad is autistic. The thought of this horrifies me to no end because I don't want to become as crazy as him and I don't want to end up as a bad father or fuck up a marriage like he did. My mother is also controlling and angry all the time. My stepfather mostly just agrees with my mother like the white knight he is.2. My stepbrother and biological sister used to torment me over my autism. My stepsister is my only good sibling.3. In the last thread, I already mentioned Ramattra, Kirby, Wario, Luigi and the Mario princesses but I also want to add Amelia Bedelia. She's probably autistic since she is literal-minded but she always makes a nice pie in the end. I wish a nice autistic GF would make me a pie.4. I hate those sites. Too much overt misandry and general bullshit.5. I have never put on a fursuit or gone to a furry convention but I do jack off to furry porm constantly. My favorite types of animal characters tend to be dogs, cows and mice. Dogs are loving and loyal. Cows make milk and exist purely to be used. Mice are cute and, if you catch one by the tail, it is totally at your mercy and you decide whether it lives or dies.
6. I lost my virginity when I was 22 to a fatass monster fucker lady. It didn't feel very good, probably because of how fat she was.7. I think about that constantly. Once I learned about those statistics, it all transformed me mentally.8. Yes I was bullied. I still don't like to talk about, but it felt like Hell.9. I bite my nails a lot. It's hard to stop.10. Suicide has been on my mind several times throughout my life. I call it "the seduction of Hades". I resist it because 1. Living as a freak of nature with the brain of a monster is scary, but the eternal nothingness beyond life is even scarier. 2. I still have hope that I will find the perfect autistic lover one of these days. (I don't care if this lover is male or female) and then he/she will understand me and make me happy.
i bite my nails as well
>>24214862I know how that feels brother. Some of my nails look fucking deformed because of the shit I've done to them in the past. Holy shit I'm such a freak.
No more posts?Come on guys. Life is rough and I'd like more brotherly love.
i am too tired to answer the questions but i wanted to say ASPIE PRIDE WORLD WIDE yeah baby!
>>24215758That's the spirit!
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Come on guys. Isn't ANYONE going to answer my questions? Life as an autistic man is rough. I feel like a disgusting freak all the time and I made this thread so that maybe I can connect with those who have suffered just as I have.Talk with me fellow monster boys.
>>242148451-2: My family life is mediocre, but could be much worse. I was never directly abused, at least3. Over the years I'd say Megumin (Konosuba) and Guts (Berserk) have stood out. More recently, the character Jax (TADC), despite the cringe of the show's writing, has showcased some of my own emotional plights and makes me feel good to see fleshed out (both in the show and in fanart).4. I lurk on r*dd*t and found some of them interesting in some ways but also very disagreeable in others. The more focused on the specifics of ASD they are, the better. The subs/posts which branch out into other topics are always disappointing (probably due to my different worldviews/opinions).5. I've jacked off to a lotta things, so technically yeah. The actual fursona stuff never stuck with me though, it's just not for me.6. Virgin, but I'm just a failed normie. It took me years after the fact to realize that a lot of women were hitting on me and open to relationships. I feel so fucking stupid, but oh well. Maybe once I can get on my own feet (a good income and my own place) I'll move on from it all.7. I only hope they (law enforcement and prisoners) take pity on me for being visibly nervous. If I were ever in prison, I'd hope I could self isolate in solitary confinement, but I think most prisons have legal limits on how long you can stay in solitary confinement, even if a prisoner chooses it.I've also tried to memorize the locations of some homeless shelters in my city, so hopefully I can bounce back if I ever need to. I've never been violent or had any substance use issues so I assume all of them should be ok with me. Lord willing, may I never have to suffer in those ways.8. Absolutely. I didn't understand, until I was 17, that bullying wasn't just the stereotypical physical assault that it's portrayed as in media. Despite it ending when I was a teenager, I've had emotional problems even into my mid 20s now because of it.(1/2)
>>24214845>>242182719. I sometimes physically twitch/jerk my head when remembering previous social blunders. I used to also scrunch my face when remembering them, but I've gotten a bit better and can almost ignore them nowadays. Other than those, I've always swayed or bounced my legs since I was a kid. Movement feels comfy. When I was little, I'd struggle to get myself to stop sweeping my legs in bed (to feel the comfortable texture of the sheets) so that I could sleep. If I stopped, I'd be agitated, but if I kept feeling the texture, it was super relaxing.10. I focus on the things that I want to get around to doing. I want to go skydiving and I want to have emotionally fulfilling sex one day.Another fantasy I've held since I was younger was the idea of being a father. Nothing more in life would fulfill me than taking care of a child. I felt a tinge of this when interacting with the kid of a neighbor for an hour one time, and it instantly made me 100% certain that I wish I could be a dad. Fwiw, no amount of tiredness/irritability/annoyance can put me off, even when I am near a child screaming/crying in public I have never minded it. I literally get a feeling of love/compassion washing over me when I hear them being loud, because it reminds me instantly, no matter how irritating their noise, that they exist. I assume this feeling would be amplified even more if they were my own child.Then again, the odds an autist like myself can achieve having a family is rather low, but I'll try.
7. I only hope they (law enforcement and prisoners) take pity on me for being visibly nervous. If I were ever in prison, I'd hope I could self isolate in solitary confinement, but I think most prisons have legal limits on how long you can stay in solitary confinement, even if a prisoner chooses it.I've also tried to memorize the locations of some homeless shelters in my city, so hopefully I can bounce back if I ever need to. I've never been violent or had any substance use issues so I assume all of them should be ok with me. Lord willing, may I never have to suffer in those ways.I want to talk about this topic more.In my opinion, self-defense needs to be a bigger part of the autism rights movement. I've noticed that there are a lot of people in the world who try to teach us autists how to "behave properly" and ... well ... this is good to an extent ... but the statistical data seems to indicate that we autists get murdered even when we are trying our best to be normal.In my opinion, self-defense needs to be a bigger part of autistic culture. More autistic people need to be aware of the fact that we might have to fight for our lives at some point.I'm already on a diet because I'm trying to lose weight and build muscle. I also mentioned in the other thread that I might learn martial arts and buy a firearm at some point.Of course, I wouldn't attack innocent people ... but, the more I read about all the autistic men who are killed by cops, the more I realize that this system itself hungers for my flesh and blood. This system hungers for the flesh of my brothers and sisters as well. I get that I have said shitty things about autistic women in the past, but I don't want them to be killed by the normie system.As for prison, I'm pretty sure that autistic men get raped in prisons ... except for those who can fight back against the rapists.
>>24218271Also, good job memorizing the locations of homeless shelters. I almost feel like crying now. It sucks how a lot of us have to do that. Good luck in life fellow monster boy. I love you.
Honestly, the more I read about autism, the more I realize how dire our situation is. I mean, of course a lot of us either end up as incels or pathetic, basement dwelling manchildren ... but the reality is much scarier. We are at a higher risk of suicide and we are victims of murder and police brutality more often than normies. Oftentimes, our blood just ends up painting the street. Oftentimes, our flesh and blood just fertilizes the soil. Apparently a lot of autistic kids get murdered by their own parents too. The autistic men in jails likely end up as shower fucktoys also.The more I learn about all of this, the more I want to defend myself and love my autistic brothers.Hug me guys. I need luvviez.
>>24218293I get that I am making multiple posts in a row and you guys don't seem to care about this thread, but I guess I'll say one more thing before I finally give up and let this thread die.>Another fantasy I've held since I was younger was the idea of being a father. Nothing more in life would fulfill me than taking care of a child. I felt a tinge of this when interacting with the kid of a neighbor for an hour one time, and it instantly made me 100% certain that I wish I could be a dad. Fwiw, no amount of tiredness/irritability/annoyance can put me off, even when I am near a child screaming/crying in public I have never minded it. I literally get a feeling of love/compassion washing over me when I hear them being loud, because it reminds me instantly, no matter how irritating their noise, that they exist. I assume this feeling would be amplified even more if they were my own child.Holy fuck man. This is beautiful. I want to hug you now for real.In my life, a lot of people have told me "Autistic people are sociopath assholes who should be spayed and neutered and autistic adults should not be allowed around children." ... but life has taught me that a lot of autistic people are either born with a warm heart or develop one with time. Your words are pure poetry.
>>24218271>Virgin, but I'm just a failed normie. It took me years after the fact to realize that a lot of women were hitting on me and open to relationships. I feel so fucking stupid, but oh well. Maybe once I can get on my own feet (a good income and my own place) I'll move on from it all.Go out and have hot sex man. The world desperately needs more men like you. I hope the woman you impregnate has triplets. You sound like a warrior-poet.
>>24214845>1. What is your relationship with your parents like?Good.>4. Have you tried using more mainstream autism sitesOnly when I started exploring my issues many years ago to understand things better.>7. Do you ever think about that and wonder if you are next?Depends, the worst factor here is lack of a strong social network that could protect/support me. If you're socially isolated, you're prey.>8. Were you bullied in school?Kinda, but only from a few foreigners and I was too nice and passive to fight back.>10. Have you ever struggled against thoughts of suicide?When things went downhill and it all felt like I didn't have any control over my life. Once that changed, the stupid thoughts went away for good.
>>24221013>If you're socially isolated, you're prey.That's why I make threads like this.>I was too nice and passive to fight back.Reading this made my heart stop for a second. I was the same. I was worried that maybe my bullies were connected to local gangster types and I was also worried that I might get expelled from school or get a criminal record and destroy my future.Life is Hell, but autistic man hugs make it bearable.
>>24221501>That's why I make threads like this.Though that's not the kind of network I meant. The networks that protect us from police brutality, abuse during imprisonment, and general governmental overreach have a strong local presence and influence (visibility to make issues public, can deal with the legal/admin system, or can deal with decision-makers in private). They can be global as well, but the local influence is important.>Life is HellThat's sad to hear. From your remarks here it seems you're worried about violence against us (also >>24219739). I'm not saying you're wrong as we're prone to misjudge cues and situations and often lack adequate responses. Is there an acute threat you're exposed to or is this more of a general concern?
>>24221599>Is there an acute threat you're exposed to or is this more of a general concern?Well ... I talk about these issues for 3 reasons.1. I grew up as a nerdy kid in a tough neighborhood full of people who wanted to kick the shit out of me. I'm in a safer neighborhood now ... but ... you know. The flames are all long gone but the pain lingers on.2. My mom constantly warns me about autistic people who went to jail.3. Remember when there were riots all over the United States because American cops were being racist? Has anti-autistic violence by cops ever caused riots on a similar magnitude? The "tolerant" liberal types seem to view autistic men's issues as unimportant, despite the nightmarish reality revealed by the statistics.
>>24214845what was the last thread's number?
>>24221639>2. My mom constantly warns me about autistic people who went to jail.What are the conditional probabilities here? Those cases have specific circumstances. Do you think you're similar personality-wise or could run into similar situations? (I haven't studied that, so can't say anything about it.)>riots all over the United States because American cops were being racistThose were orchestrated, the outrage wasn't genuine. And us spergs are rather seen as evil/genius oppressive tech overlords now, not as victims.
