I have a conflict with my mom, a 70 years old boomer. She was supposed to sign the papers to give me half the rights to her house, that I helped her buy. I live in the house, in a separate part from hers. The whole house is in a state of disrepair, but I live in it because, well... It's my house.The deadline to sign the papers is getting close, which means I might be able to take her to court. My hope was that she would either sign the papers ASAP (she didn't), would buy my part, or ask some other relative to do so. But all my relatives are poor, and they also wouldn't want to live with her because they know she's problematic.Here's the question: am I wrong for not putting a single cent to fix the house until she signs the papers? I have to endure cold days and bad conditions because the house is shit, even though I could simply leave, and could even buy another house. But I wont, because a) I don't want to leave my house, b) if I moved I'd have to carry a lot of stuff with me, and c) I don't want to waste money in rent, not too much at least.Do you think I am retarded, too stubborn or outright narcissistic for doing this?x-post from /adv/ cuz no one cares there.
no
>living in squalor to own his mum>fellforitagainaward.jpg
>>61325794>fix the house>make peace with your mumits that simple.
>>61325794Does she have her own bathroom?Poop in her toilet tank (upper decker).She will sign after, trust me.
>>61325794I am a mom to a little boy, and I believe she'd deep down do everything for you, boomers can be stubborn, but she absolutely loves you. From my perspective you stand to inherit the place in the end anyway... So if you, while still youngish, have the energy to fix things runningly, making the both of you happier while avoiding weird legal conflicts it sounds like a no brainier. I believe those repairs would simply raise the value of your future estate.
>>61325794Should have shot her you had the opportunity to kill the bitch but you couldn't because reason...junior however er he shot you what a pile of shit drink a few shots le er the fuck up and but btc wait 5 to 10 years
>>61325921>I am a momTITS OR GTFO
>>61325794She's already sold the house and is planning a cruise next year. Sorry man, she's a boomer.
>>61325794Depends on if she is nice to you
OP here>>61325842Buying this house was my only and best option at the time.>>61325908Lol>>61325921I have enough money to fix the whole thing if I wanted to, but I'll only build on my side of the house.Also, I have a sibling. He'll get part of the inheritance too. This means any fixes will benefit him as well. I trust him not to fuck me in the future by selling his part to me for cheap but who knows...Regarding my relationship with my mom: we've always had a terrible relationship. I'm planning on living here but I'll avoid contact with here as much as possible.
>>61325952Fix the house.Make peace with your mum.
>>61325794Your mom f’d you over. Nothing you can do. The house is legally 100% hers
>>61325963Why should I, though?She's always treated me like shit and always contradicted me for no reason whatsoever, sometimes to the point of getting angry and beating me for daring to question her authority, ignorance or whatever. I worked during summers since I was 12, and sometimes even "helped" her sell stuff since I was like 5. She also manipulated me and made me hate people for... reasons. I basically didn't live a normal life.She could have had her own govt built house when I was 10, but she refused for some retarded reason.I always thought she was like this because of poverty. But as soon as I helped her buy this house, she got the knives out and tried to fuck me over. I had to threaten her to sign the papers that led to this deadline (I know her bs very well, so I had thought of legal ways to scare her).I should really get the fuck out of here, as far away from her as possible. But getting my part of the house is just. So I won't leave anytime soon.I love her, but she only causes pain to everyone around her. My brother never comes here, and she visits him for a couple of days at most. LIke I said, not even her siblings want to be anywhere near her, at least not for more than a couple of hours.>>61326147Nah, she signed a promise. I also threatened her because of some dirty shit we had to do to buy the house.
>>61326178Unless said promise is on a legally binding document it won’t hold up in court
>>61326186>Unless said promise is on a legally binding document it won’t hold up in courtIt is. Not sure how it's called in other countries, but this gives me the power to start an executive(?) trial.She's been doing some shit behind my back, though. But she says she would never sell the house... We will see, I guess.
>>61325794There's indians scams and there's getting scammed by your own mother. Sucks to suck.My advice: Don't get into retarded arrangements involving money with your family members
>>61326211Lol. How dare I want to help my family members.Anyway, yeah, won't happen ever again. She cried for decades about being the victim of other people, and then, bam, tried to scam me the moment she was able to do it.
>>61326178Because you're also living in squalor by not fixing the house?You're just delaying renovations to get back at your mum out of some misguided sense of justice. Unless you strongly suspect she'll ruin the renovations, you're just making life suck more than it has to.
>>61326252>renovationsThere will be none. I'll build something new. And I will not build for as long as this shit isn't mine. Why should I build on someone else's property? I've been very cautious so far.Also, I will use my newly built house as my reward. And it will be a very nice reward. And a reminder not to talk to her or do her any favors ever again.I will also split the property.
>>61325794I don't have any good advice for you anon, sorryCan you give me some advice: How do I avoid ever being in that situation with my parents or children?What was it in your relationship that broke the trust between you and made you so petty?Was it just the hardship of poverty or were there other patterns?
>>61326238>Lol. How dare I want to help my family members.Help without expecting anything back. Otherwise don't do it. Money always ruins relationships.Reminds me of one of my former female coworkers. She let her nephew and his wife live in one of her houses rent-free for years. When she visited one day and saw the place was a complete mess, she asked them to clean it. The nephew’s wife didn't like her tone so they moved out, and then the nephew tried to charge her for the two air-conditioning units he had installed. Imagine the audacity.Family can be as just as scummy as any random stranger. I'm sorry you had to learn this the hard way.
>>61326342Don't be lazy and read the thread. My mom has never been a "nice" woman, and our relationship has never been good.>>61326350Yeah, well, at least I made sure to force her to sign the papers. If everything goes right, my part will be mine, and hopefully I'll also get my inheritance in the future (she can't do much about that part in my country).
>>61325952Why are white people like this? I swear white mother's shit their kids out just to have someone to hate
>>61325794I did everything for my mom for 40 years, everything. Never asked her for money. Scumbag brother begged for money for 20 years then moved into her house with his family and just before she died he pressured her into signing everything over to him. I get nothing. It blows but people are people and will ask you to help them then turn their back on you, even mom can do it. You need to look out for your financial interests. There is a reason mom is not cooperating, find out what it is. If she is is going to fuck you then you do what's best for you.
>>61326422I mean, sure, I probably have mental issues from all the shit I've had to endure.>>61326417I'm from latin america. Still, seems to be the same shit everywhere in the world. Women just can't help themselves, I guess...>>61326436If she does so, she will have to pay me. I hope I'm fine.
>>61326436Also, I'm really sorry for what you had to suffer, anon. That fucking sucks.Maybe talk to some lawyers to see if you can do something. Depending on the laws of your country, you might be able to. I know things in mine aren't "free for all".Also, if my brother tried to fuck me over, I'd be able to make his life impossible. My whole family knows I'm not a nice guy...
>>61326436my grandad was a very rich manI respected him a lot. he came from nothing and lived in a simple house but he was a millionaire many times overeven late in life he had the world swinging from his nuts and when he died a sitting european prime minister attended his funeralI was his first and favorite grandson and I was named after him, as were all my first born male cousinswhen I was a young boy, my dad moved us away so he could seek his fortune but my uncles stayed behind to work at my grandfather's business, and both built houses on land my grandfather owned next to his housemy cousins would hang around him like bad news all day buttering him up to get bits of cash here and there and ask him for giftsI only saw him during visits until I turned 18 and moved to an area nearbyhe always tried to promise me stuff. he promised me he'd buy me a sports car when I got married. I never took any of it seriously and I didn't want his moneyhe could afford it but we didn't have that sort of relationship. my dad my sister and I were the only ones in the family that never kissed his ass or asked for money and I think he respected thatbefore he died, he had written my branch of the family out of his will in part because my uncles poisoned my grandmother against my dad and had her nag him to remove usI didn't care. I made my own way in the worldThe last time I saw him we sat at his kitchen table and talked about old times and we both started crying out of nowhere. I think we both knew he wasn't long for the worldHe took off his solid 18k gold nautilus he always wore -which along with his luxury cars were one of the only personal extravagances he permitted himself- and gave it to me "to remember me by"I keep it in my safe to this day but don't wear it. Don't feel entitled to things from your relatives. If they give you something, it's be grateful but feeling entitled to it poisons the relationship and makes it feel transactionalthank you for reading my post
>>61326600You obviously were born in a rich family and have never had real needs in your life, and even though your dad wrote your family out of his will, you still got something from him, even if that is good memories. Not all families are like that.My memories of my mom have all been stained by how she treated me like shit and blamed me and everyone else around for everything that was wrong and bad in her life, even though she admits she had many opportunities to live and give us a happy life.
>>61326600>Don't feel entitled to things from your relativesI dont feel entitled. My mom gave me power of attorney, authority for her health care decisions and made co-trustee of her trust because my brother is such a lying scumbag. in 2017 my brother stole my identity and forged my signature trying to steal my inheritance from an uncle. By luck I found out in time and he did not get my money. I filed a police report and the cops did nothing. For more than 40 years my mom told me she would NEVER favor one son of the other to avoid any type of rivalry or hard feelings. I drove mom to all her doctors appointment and tax appointments because she asked and said she did not trust my brother. Then at the very last she gave everything to him and his shitty lying family. Yes I did sue, attorneys said because of all the paperwork and lies dickhead was caught it in the case was a slam dunk. Woman judge said she did not care about the fraud, theft, lying, she decided mom was 90 and just on a whim decided to cut me out 100% just because. I dont need the money. Its just my brother fucked me over and mom did exactly what she said she would never do. In the end you need to do what's best for you, never let yourself be exposed to a bad financial situation because she is your "mom."
>>61325794Dude,don’t worry about how your house looks. Who gives a flying phuc anyway, if you are putting every single penny into btc,Eth, sol,trx,xrp,Ada or whatever else Qnt. You’re going to hate yourself in a few years. Besides it’s your grandma or whatever, you’re supposed to take care of her by default anyway, don’t be a douchebag ass son. Love your mom bro.and stack sats.
>>61326884*aren’t putting
>>61325921omg, mom, you are too cute and thoughtful!!
>>61326884>>61326893What are you trying to shill here?
